Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss, and I don't own Schwartz and I don't make any money!!

Chapter 19

Gnotobiotic - (1)

A world without feelings is a perfect world; a world consisting of complete order, the rule of logic as law. I have always wondered if any share my rather controversial view, I knew that my team mates certainly didn't. They definitely relied upon said feelings too often to voluntarily go without them. I knew however that I was right, I knew that compassion was only a failing, a weakness in the clothing of honour; I knew that envy only blinded, that hope only misled and that love was the only one true biological madness.

I have never been one to show my feelings, shunning those who wear their hearts on their sleeves; these people have no sense, leaving themselves open and vulnerable. If I had done such a thing when I was younger, well, I probably wouldn't be telling my story now. There was no room for feelings in Rosenkreuz, only logic and cunning won hearts there.

Perhaps that's why I never really understood Weiss completely, their small world being ruled by their feelings for one another. Their drive was solely emotion based; their morals, their feelings, their very essences going into their work. That, I had decided a long time ago, was the difference between us two groups; while Weiss had feelings and friendship, we had logic and base survival instincts that had been ground into us at the training facility where we were raised. That's why we did not gel, why we couldn't understand each others motives. That was the reason why we would never be able to work together as neither was willing to give and inch, to become more like the other just enough to be able to sympathise in any way with their ideology.

Perhaps that was why I was still questioning the young man who stood irately in front of me as I just sat and polished my gun and stared back at him.

"So what exactly does this backup comprise of again?"

I just had to know, I just had to know I was right. I was sure this too was another motive with emotional affiliations

"Dammit, will you shut up and listen to me?"

Well knowing was one thing, finding out however was something completely different. Siberian was once more acting in his normal hard headed manner, annoyingly enough. I had to admit that his out of character behaviour, his sudden coldly calculating turn earlier on that night, had been surprising yet not entirely unwanted on my part. He had taken control of the situation in almost the same way I would have, blanketing the violence that had been ready to rise and taking control through the most effective medium a leader can; fear. There had been no emotion to his actions, only a purely logical motive. I had liked that, I had understood that. However, all good things must come to and end, isn't that what they say? Now he was still working on the fear element, but it was not quite as intimidating.

He did not seem to understand however that fear did not work on me.

"How about I don't do that," I smirked and shook my head, "and instead we get ready. I have to say, this might be an interesting experience; I've never been "backup" for a subordinate before."

"Hell, and your their leader? Fuck, what am I doing, just stop talking and get ready," Siberian wasn't exactly as controlled as before yet he still had that vicious element going.

"I will do what I want and when I want to do it Siberian," I said in my coldest tone, my eyes surely flashing dangerously as they settled on him, "and don't forget that."

"Yeah, yeah whatever," he sighed exasperatedly, "will you hurry it up?"

It was a miracle; it seemed both uncanny and unlikely, yet I didn't know how someone else could be so like and yet at the same time completely unlike Schuldich. Siberian was all limbs, clumsy and with an odd sort of grace that befits a small child. Schuldich however was sleek and graceful, like some wild animal masking it's viciousness from the eyes of the world. Their physicality was rather strikingly different, yet their will and passion seemed of one mind. I could see that same disapproval in both green and chocolate eyes; even if the German's delivery was more relaxed there was still that will, that driving force they both possessed that pulled the rest of the world in its wake. They also both had that hard headed imperturbability that made them immune to, well, me. Was it possible for a German and a Japanese to be separated at birth? Well, obviously not but...I was starting to wonder.

"They've been gone for fifty minutes and still no contact," Siberian mused to himself as he paced the small kitchen where we both stood.

We had taken up residence there, ready to move at a seconds notice if we were needed. Schuldich and the Weiss had left almost an hour ago and still that stubborn red head hadn't contacted us. It was just typical, him screwing up my plans. It wasn't that I was worried about him; I mean why should I be? I should be more worried about the strategy Schuldich was probably mucking up than I was worried about Schuldich himself. He was so hard headed that sometimes it made me want to kill him. I almost had a few times as well...

"We'll head out in ten," Siberian muttered as he leaned back against the counter, his body the picture of readiness.

He was all taught muscles and tight nerves, looking like a coiled snake ready to strike. I knew that as I sat in my chair by the window polishing my gun that I must look the picture of placidity; yet inside, I knew how Siberian felt...and it wasn't for Schuldich, it wasn't. That idiot...

"Dammit why haven't they reported in yet?" the Weiss asked more to himself than to me.

I didn't answer. It wasn't the fact that I didn't know that stopped me however, it was more the fact that I had too may answers for him. There were so many things that could have gone wrong with this plan that I would have been there for hours speculating on how many bits our operatives were now being cut up into by Esset agents. Not the most pleasant of thoughts I know, yet an entirely reasonable one. And yet, here we were, still sitting here waiting for them to call us. There was something decidedly traditional about this waiting that was getting on my nerves. I guess I just don't like being left in the dark about things...

"Crawford?" the voice made me jump out of my skin on the inside, yet all I did in reality was turn my head to the doorway to address the newcomer with perfect all knowing calm; I disguised the fact that I had not known that the person was going to approach rather well I thought, considering just how much it was angering me to think such a thing.

Siberian had had a heart attack however, or well it might as well of been one.

"Hell, don't DO that! Why do people keep sneaking up on me today!?"

"What do you want Farferello?" I asked the shadow in the doorway as I ignored the irate young man.

He stepped softly into dim light of the kitchen, his one golden eye seemingly placid and docile. He was wearing his usual blue suit top and trousers, his bandages peeping out over the top of the buttons. His bandages were clean and neatly wrapped, signalling Nagi's intervention.

-Sometimes that kid cares too much, I must talk to him about that,- I thought absently as Farferello stepped just as silently over to the table and sat down.

"Any word yet?" he asked as he picked up a stray butter knife from the table and began twirling it in his fingers.

"Not yet," I replied, glad that it was the Irishman bothering me and not Nagi again; the kid hadn't left me alone for five minutes since he discovered Schuldich hadn't reported in on time.

Until now that is. Ahh, blessed silence...

"What do you mean he hasn't reported in!?" those big blue eyes could go an interesting shade of black when Nagi was angry...reminded me of another certain someone who's eye's changed with their mood...

"You need to stop being so concerned about Schuldich," I warned him, not even bothering to beat about the bush on this occasion, heading straight for the underlying problem, the one that had to be dealt with.

"Maybe it's you who should be more concerned about him!" Nagi shot back, his uncharacteristic anger making me a little frustrated.

"Be quiet Nagi", I said with a voice like steel, "and go help the Weiss locate Abyssinian."

There was an ominous silence.

"No," he said after a pause during which his eyes wavered but his fists clenched.

"No?" I repeated a little incredulously, I certainly hadn't seen that one coming; yet when it came down to base emotions my power wasn't much use.

"No!" he said more firmly, "I won't let you treat him like this anymore after all we've been through and you still act like..!"

"Enough!" I wasn't sure what it was in my voice that silenced him but it worked.

Perhaps it was the fact that instead of my fake angry voice, the one I used to get all of my team to do as I told them, I had actually lost my temper with him. His once more big blue eyes wavered again but did not soften as he remained silent. Instead he narrowed them and glared at me. I did not respond, just turned back in my chair and resumed polishing my gun. I could feel his hatred and frustration radiating off of him like a small sun, yet there was still that blessed silence. It became even more blessed however when he finally decided to leave.

Feelings, just a weakness.

Nagi would have gone out to look for the red headed idiot if I hadn't stopped him, I know he would have; and he should have known better. I could see in his eyes that he knew I thought that he and the German had become too close. They had begun to care for each other in what could only be described as a brotherly fashion. I could understand how one such as Nagi could have fallen into that trap, being an abandoned child with no siblings to speak of he would naturally cling to those most willing to be clung to. I had known from the start, as soon as I recruited him, that his vulnerability would be his need for the approval and support of other; he had tried it on me first of all. I had not been so willing however, something I had made absolutely clear from early on in our working relationship. I would not be a father figure to him, I would be his leader. He had understood that seemingly, and had never tried to impose any feelings or any responsibility on me again. I had been glad of that, I hadn't wanted to have to have him removed from the group as he was very powerful and thus a large asset.

However, I could not understand Schuldich. He was nothing but a flippant, care free, selfish manipulator of other people. I'm not being insulting, I'm just telling the truth, that is what he is; it was what he was made to be, Rosenkreuz had seen to that. I wouldn't be so stupid as to say that Schuldich wasn't as big an asset as Nagi, he had to be the most powerful telepath I had ever met discluding the Esset elders, and that was saying something. However he was infinitely harder to handle. Sometimes, at the start of their bonding, I had wondered if Schuldich had formed a relationship with Nagi just to spite me, to show me he could defy me at will. However, as I closely watched their relationship grow, monitoring its safety levels, I realised that my initial assessment had not been entirely right. Schuldich wasn't bonding with Nagi because he wanted to rebel, he was doing it because of something much deeper. What that reason was however I neither knew nor cared. I was absolutely certain that it had something to do with feelings, just call it intuition, and I wanted nothing to do with it.

"We're going now," Siberian's voice broke my concentration; his voice still withholding that deadly calm it was odd to hear something reminiscent in it of that small child that I saw lurking within his eyes.

"Yes," I nodded, adding on the end so that it didn't sound like I was taking orders, "we are going now."

I stood to get ready to leave; yet, of course as always happens, just when my mind is made up about something my ever so useful power raises its head.

The sound of tires burning through an unlit street with blood on the seat covers and unfamiliar worried eyes and the speed was slowing and there was a gun un-holstered, held upon the steering wheel. Four bodies, not two.

My vision stopped as soon as it had started, hardly what you could call a satisfactory report of the future. What on earth had that been about..?

"Hey, what the hells wrong with you?" Siberian asked politely as he eyed my bleary expression, adjusting his bugnuks on his fist.

I was about to reply but before I could a hauntingly familiar sound reached my ears; the squeal of tires from somewhere nearby. I saw Siberian tense as Farferello stood from his chair, his visible eye now hardened.

"Someone's coming," I said vaguely, keeping the slight panic from my voice as I listened to the sound of the car grow steadily nearer.

"Someone?" Siberian snapped out as he rushed for the door, "That's so damn helpful..."

I just shrugged as nonchalantly as I could and beckoned Farferello to follow me as I too rushed towards the front door. I was dimly aware of feet sunning down the stairs, more than likely Nagi and Bombay. I just ignored them for now, focusing instead on the slowly opening doorway as Siberian peered out into the night.

There was an ominous silence, a seeming abyss in the landscape of sound that had been there not moments ago. Yet, like all the silences I had been coming into contact with lately, there was something distinctly unnatural about it. I felt like there was some apprehension and fear crawling just under my skin, as if the silence itself was some sort of monster, some harpy sent to haunt me for some unknown sin as it reared its head to watch me with mute eyes. It slunk around me, watching me as I crept up behind Siberian and looked over his shoulder towards the street. The nerves in my chest were beginning to twinge, I could feel the hair on the back of my neck stand on end in anticipation; I could feel my power urging to tell me something, yet I did my best to subdue it in this moment where it felt like the very air was alive and watching me.

I held my breath...

....and looked out...

...and there was nothing there.

"Well," Siberian heaved a sigh and leaned back on his heels, his sudden sound scaring the huge misshapen silence back into the darkness of the alleyways, "that was an anti-climax"

Of course, just like all optimistic people, he had to be the one to say it didn't he.

Before he even had the chance to bat another eyelid, the scene before us exploded. Just like the monstrous silence that had haunted me moments before, now the chaos of sound was bearing down on me in full fury. Noise was everywhere, there were headlamps shinning in my eyes like some terrible basilisk, blinding me. I felt Siberian jump back, knocking me back into the hallway as he slammed the door shut with a severe curse. My hand instinctively dived into my jacket and wrapped around the cold hard steel of my revolver, pulling it out to hold it at the ready. I could feel Nagi and Bombay at my back, Nagi emanating pure energy, Farferello tense and ready; I could feel them watching me, watching the door.

"Who is it Ken, did you see them?" Bombay's voice was surprisingly childlike as he spoke, the element of fear evident in his tone.

Yet, as I mulled it over in my rather pre-occupied mind, I felt that it wasn't exactly the fear one feels for oneself, that would have been to unbefitting for the oh-so-moral-Weiss. It was the fear one feels for one dear to them, a team mate, a comrade...a friend. Bombay wasn't worried that this was an Esset raid and they were going to blow down the door any minute and kill us all in ways we could only imagine in our worst nightmares...he was afraid that Balinese was dead; he was afraid that it would be Abyssinian on the attack again, that he would still have that fire of odium in his eyes, a window to a soul filled with hatred for his own, well...family is all you can call them. I mean, I wouldn't call Schwartz a family by any stretch of the imagination but Weiss...they had something we didn't; god knows what it was or if I would have even wanted it, but it was there.

"Hell if I know," Siberian answered his team mate eloquently as he pushed us all back away from the door, "but does it sound remotely good to you?"

I was going to protest, always one to believe that the best defence was as an offence where Esset were concerned, especially when you're three team members down. However after seeing the state of Bombay's wall had been in when we arrived I wasn't sure I wanted to chance anything. An explosion like that at such close range...I wasn't even sure if Nagi's shields could stand up to something like that.

"What do we do? Do we just wait?" it was as if Siberian was actually talking to himself as we all stood, waiting for the first strike; rather disconcerting really, "Need to focus, just concentrate..."

"Ken, what..?"

"Quiet Omi, just be ready."

And again, that cold tone was back. That no business manner that so mirrored my own, yet was filled with something entirely different...justice? It sounded like nobility in that tone...so very confusing. And of course, it was heavy with feeling, something my tone would never have possessed.

I ignored this train of thought however as the noise from outside became too close for comfort. The sound of wheels burning on tarmac ground to a halt, followed by the thrashing open of doors, the flurry of worried voices and the trampling of feet. I tensed, ready for anything, hopefully...yet, wait a minute...worried voices?

No, it couldn't be...

There was an almighty crash on the doorstep that made everyone flinch, including, to my shame, me. It was as if time itself was slowing down in a way, perhaps some sort of adverse reaction to the way it had seemed to speed up abnormally only moments before. There was the muffled sound of an argument from the other side of the polished beech wood; I felt decidedly helpless as I strained to listen, noting absently that everyone else was doing exactly the same. Then came the most surprising thing of all.

Someone knocked rather politely on the door.

The silence returned, yet it had a rather stunned and confused expression this time. I just blinked along with the rest of the room, more surprised than I had been in a long time.

Then, as if solely to shatter the stunned silence that followed this act, someone began laughing manically.

I knew that laugh.

(1) Gnotobiotic means "relating to or denoting a controlled environment, e.g. a germ free culture containing no unknown organisms." I thought this related well to Crawford's view in this chapter of his perfect world, a place where there would be no feelings (the germs in his mind) to complicate things and so thus nothing would be "unknown" and thus entirely logical.

AN: Ah, I'm not sure I have the characters all down yet but I hope they all seem to be acting okay. I wasn't sure if I'm rushing my own changes on them, they might get a bit mad hee hee! Oh well, please R&R, feedback welcome!