"T'Pol was looking at Phlox, digesting his diagnosis – acute exhaustion coupled to a case of post traumatic stress disorder of yet unknown severity. How was that possible? Yes, he had worked long hours, like he always did when his mind was in turmoil, but she had ordered Lieutenant-Commander Hess in no uncertain terms to make sure he did end his shift, no longer than an hour or two later than expected and it had worked. How could he still be so exhausted that he suffered an emotional breakdown? Currently the only chance to answer her question was whatever Malcolm was trying to find in the station's log. He had commandeered one of Phlox's consoles for the purpose.
"Well, doctor," she heard Malcolm say moments later, with no little amount of sarcasm. "I believe I have found our answer."
She looked at him expectantly, as did Phlox.
"I take it Trip's smart-arse quips that they can carry the furniture out of your quarters without you waking up is more than just a joke?" he asked her.
"I have a very deep REM sleep," she admitted.
"And since we are currently in a low stress environment, you sleep longer than usual in exchange for less necessity to meditate," he stated.
"Indeed," T'Pol answered and the likely answer to the mystery started to appear in her mind.
"Well," Malcolm said and pointed to the security log analysis. "They didn't carry out any of your belongings, but your dear husband was quite able to leave your quarters for a light spot of late-night working on more than one occasion. That explains why we are ahead of schedule despite the Kriosian interruption."
"And it explains why on several occasions he was awake before me, which is fairly uncommon. He served me breakfast in our quarters on those occasions, which I interpreted as just additional romantic effort to keep the equilibrium in our bond while our... royal guest was still aboard."
"He didn't go to sleep in the first place in those cases. How can a brilliant engineer still be that stupid?" Malcolm said and she could feel the anger bottle up inside him by the way he drove his right fist in the palm of his left hand before asking her the next question. "Couldn't you have noticed his fatigue?"
"Captain Tucker is very adept at hiding such things," Phlox contributed. "It is almost invisible from the outside. To find such information, T'Pol would have to perform quite a noticeable mental probing."
"One he would notice," she continued. "Such action would almost inevitably create distrust and disturbances in the bond and it is difficult enough to balance as it is."
"You have all gone without more than a day of shore leave since before Corridan, have you not?" Phlox asked.
"We had a few days on Vulcan after the Tolaris trial," Malcolm confirmed. "The crew takes turns for a few days off now and then, but for the line officers the opportunity never came up. Hoshi and I have been down to San Francisco twice for an evening."
"That means you have spent months in highly stressful operations. The horror on Corridan, rebuilding Salem One after cleaning out dozens of corpses, deadly fights with Romulans, the aftermath of the Jupiter station bombing. All within the space of a few months. For a space station we have most impressive recreational facilities, but none of them are designed to help you cope with the things you've seen. More than forty crew members sought therapeutic help after Corridan, but not a single line-officer except Lieutenant-Commander Sato," Phlox recounted.
"We weren't commissioned to be wussies," Malcolm snorted and for the first time in a long time T'Pol saw Phlox frown.
"With all due respect, Captain, but that is probably the stupidest thing I've heard in a long time. You were commissioned to be capable officers that might have to make live-and-death decisions, not some emotionless robots, who brush atrocities, like the ones you have seen, aside as mere details."
"He's right," Hoshi interrupted and now being alerted to it, T'Pol could hear the fatigue in Hoshi's voice. She was sitting next to Trip's biobed. "I could definitely use a few days off and a chance to talk about things somewhere where the air hasn't been recycled a few dozen times."
"Did you not say you are ahead of schedule?" Phlox asked.
"We are," Malcolm confirmed.
"In that case I would suggest the four of you leave the station for at least a week. Especially Captain Tucker will need a close friend to talk to, who does not judge him for his mood swings, which will occur during the next few days."
"Will be quite difficult to find a place that's quiet enough at the height of snow season," Malcolm though aloud. "Maybe southern hemisphere then. You don't happen to own a remote tropical island somewhere, doctor?"
T'Pol began to see the wisdom of Phlox's suggestion. Hoshi sounded tired and Malcolm had expressed his biting sarcasm a lot more frequently lately. Trip's condition was obvious. But what surprised her the most was the sudden unnaturally large grin on Phlox's face.
"I do not own such an island," he said. "But apparently Starfleet does, courtesy of the take-over of Advanced Propulsion Inc."
"That's a joke right?" Malcolm asked and his disbelief was obvious.
"It is not," Phlox said. "When the assets of the Company and the personal wealth of the tragically deceased owner were transferred to Starfleet, it included a personally owned island in the – I believe the name is 'the Caribbean' – and two company owned island resorts in the Southern Hemisphere. A larger one capable of hosting up to 300 hundred visitors and a small one for a single family. Although the latter is reserved for flag officers and their families, I believe I can make a good case for you."
"Would you look at that!?" she heard Malcolm's surprised exclamation and joined him to look at the picture Phlox had called up on a PADD. What she saw was a small green Island with a broad beach of impeccably colored white sand. If there would be any environment where Trip could find peace, it was this. The sky was clear and blue and the ocean's water was so clean it was barely visible.
"That must cost a fortune to run three of those," Malcolm remarked.
"Little over a year ago Captain Archer needed help to overcome the strains put on him by commanding a ship. Captains Tucker and T'Pol have run into problems before. If our most experienced can't cope too well, how will it affect younger personnel, hm?" Phlox challenged him. "Starfleet is preparing for that. The larger island is currently being converted to a sanatorium. The existence of these retreats was only recently disclosed to all Starfleet medical personnel – and I think it was for a reason."
"We try not to think too often about what our job does to us, because we are thoroughly sick of it," T'Pol admitted so openly, she could see it affected Phlox. "I find the doctor's suggestion sound. We shall prepare for temporary transfer of command. Even if our stay on the island is not permitted, we shall find accommodation of our own. I don't give a damn about Surak at the moment. The need of the one – my Adun – is more important to me than the need of the many at this time."
"May I suggest that you let me escort you to the meditation chamber right now!" Malcolm demanded forcefully and T'Pol realized what a shameful and vulgar statement she had just delivered in the heat of the moment. Malcolm looked severely shocked. She hung her head in shame and nodded.
"Doctor. I'll take care of T'Pol. Would you please take care of the formalities? I think we all need a break," she heard Malcolm request while he directed her towards the exit.
"Excellent," Phlox reacted quite enthusiastically in her opinion. "I will send my request to Starfleet."
"Hoshi, will you stay with Trip?" T'Pol asked and after acknowledging the affirmative answer, she left with Malcolm who had grabbed her arm, not willing to let her go unattended.
=/\=
"Thirty years and he still hasn't learned his damn lesson."
Hoshi looked up to see Trip's father standing at the foot of the biobed. She looked at him questioningly.
"He's been like that since he was a lil' boy," he explained and Hoshi could see the pain in his eyes. "When his first girlfriend cheated on him, he worked himself to shreds. After a week our backyard looked as if we had paid a million bucks for it, all my tools were in perfect order and the old hover car that I had planned to sell for scrap was spit and polished and ran better than when it came out of the showroom."
Hoshi looked at him as he took a deep breath
"We found the boy unconscious in the shed when we came home from work. It's not the first time Cath and I work on a station t'gether y'know. Back then we worked on Utopia Planitia station. We came back for the weekend and our boy was lyin' there out cold."
"He did the same in the Expanse," Hoshi said sadly. "If it wasn't for T'Pol..."
"I wish I could hug her for what she's done for him, every time I see her. You look a bit shaky yourself, honey," he said and put a callused hand on her shoulder.
"We all do," she admitted, remembering how T'Pol had blown a gasket two or maybe three hours ago. She fought to keep out the sadness from her voice. "Phlox all but kicked us off the station for a week."
"Not the worst idea," he said. "Go somewhere with a beach. Nothing can fix Trip better than lyin' on a beach and even T'Pol hid on our little beach when she was beaten up after Corridan. Put the two together and you might fix him in record time."
"Except for Malcolm we're all beach rats," she said.
"Well, I'll need to talk with T'Pol. There is another – freshly converted – beach rat that could use a lil' bit of consolation.
"T'Pau? What's wrong with her?" Hoshi asked.
"Love sickness," Charles said. "Remember the Andorians she went to the antarctic with?"
"She seemed quite smitten with one of them," Hoshi realized.
"Yeah, Trok," he confirmed. "Actually quite a nice guy and really wants to be friends with her, but he had noticed she, well, she was probably a bit deeper into it. She beein' so young and inexperienced."
"Ouch," Hoshi said and felt bad for the young one she had taught to swim.
"I got the impression that he wouldn't even be averse to there bein' more. He really likes the gal. But Andorians need four in a relationship and you know how Trip and T'Pol's bonding makes them react to intimate advances."
"Poor girl," Hoshi said. "How does she take it?"
"She doesn't show it of course, but Cath knew something was up less than an hour after we had collected her at the space port yesterday."
"You both missed a calling as counselors," she said and afforded him a bright smile.
"We both had a lot of people to fix after the Xindi attack. It's not a talent we acquired by choice."
Hoshi saw him become pensive.
"Nonetheless, you're good at it."
"Well, guess I better get back home to my 'patient', before she takes on some bad habits, now that this goof is her godfather. Keep an eye on him, honey, will ya?"
"I'll let you know where we are and when you can send T'Pau. We'd love to have her for a few days days."
She saw his thankful nod and watched him walk away.
=/\=
Romulus
"We need solutions, soldiers," the praetor demanded.
Legatus Tavrus, who once was Talok, thought that the praetor was in an almost benevolent mood, considering the first attempt at hit-and-run tactics was a miserable failure.
"Legatus, what is your assessment of the situation?"
He thought for a moment before answering the question.
"We are stuck until our shipyards are able to produce enough ships. Our fleet is one-sided. We have birds-of-pray and war birds with more fire power than anything this coalition has. A fleet of four can annihilate a colony, but colonies rarely shoot back. Our enemy has a balanced fleet. They have nimble and fast ships that are more maneuverable and are hard to hit by our ships. Our only chance is to overwhelm them in numbers and by fire power."
"Why do we not develop these nimble and fast ships ourselves?"
"Because we do not have the time," Tavrus explained, his patience with the proceedings severely challenged. "By the time we have the first prototype, this coalition will have built hundreds of them. All their shipyards are working on full capacity and we cannot reach them with the limited amount of ships we have. Their combined population numbers 40 billion individuals, more than twice our numbers. And they are not troubled by staffing ships and stations with members of different species. We will run out of personnel before they do."
"You sound like a coward, who want's to make us change our mind," he heard Valdore growl with false bravado."
"And you sound like the veruul, who allowed them to become that strong by underestimating them. With all due 'respect' of course," Tavrus shot back, properly tired of this man.
"Silence!" the praetor demanded. "Valdore, If you want to live to see the birth of your second child. I suggest you find ways to improve our chances. Legatus Travrus might be overly cautious, but your record as of late is nothing that bathes you in honor. You have taken a great many civilian lives, but whenever the enemy's military got involved, you came home with nothing but defeats!"
Tavrus saw Valdore storm out of the room, followed by his aides. He enjoyed seeing the backs of them – they provided so much space to shoot into. The praetor left without another word, too. He smashed his fist on his desk. Why was he surrounded by idiots? Didn't they see that Romulus could end up colonized by the terhassu if they went on with this foolish endeavor? Why was the Tal'Shiar even trying to gather information when they were ignored anyway?
Angrily he left his office. A hunting trip was in order to calm down and sate the killing rage he felt boiling inside.
=/\=
Trip stirred and Hoshi was wide awake with a start. She had been dozing off after Charles had left, but the stirring on the biobed had woken her up. She took his face in her hands as he tried to find out where he was. She could almost see how he was trying to put the pieces into the puzzle. She kissed him lightly to direct the little attention span he seemed to have, to herself.
"Hey there, buddy," she said. "How are you?"
"I'm in trouble, aren't I?" he whispered sleepily.
"Oh, you are," she confirmed. "I'm not sure who'll give you more of a earful – T'Pol or Malcolm."
"Damn it."
"Well, first of all we'll fix you stubborn mule, but trust me T'Pol will lay down some ground rules. I would suspect she's not very fond of having to nerve-pinch you because you've done something stupid again."
"You sound like Malcolm," he mumbled and after she had continued stroking his hair in silence for a minute or two, he drifted back to sleep.
=/\=
Jon impatiently punched the connection button once the green light came on. The frowning face of Gardner appeared on the screen.
"Admiral."
"John, I want all of your medical staff to look out for PTSD among crew members," he demanded.
"We've had a few cases among the rookies, but the medical facilities at Salem One are top notch thanks to Trip," he said, not quite understanding what this was all about.
"That very same Trip came down with a case of it," Gardner said. "Falkner read me the riot act and made me realize, we never gave enough thought to what we put your original crew through."
"Shit," Jon swore. "How is he?"
"Tucker's not in good shape right now, but Phlox says it's thankfully not too severe. Reed, Sato and T'Pol seem to be quite shaky as well. I was told T'Pol cussed up a blue streak yesterday and Reed more or less dragged her off to the meditation chamber."
"With all due respect, Sir. I don't care about what they did. I want to know what's being done to help them," he demanded forcefully, his nostrils flailing.
"They get the best treatment we can offer, don't worry," Gardner said, trying to mollify Archer. "We've ignored the damn Corridan mission. We had half the crew filing into therapy, but all officers just soldiered on. It's my fault, Jon, I know that."
"Don't beat yourself up over it, Sam," John said. "Can you send all four of them at once to wherever you have planned?"
"Phlox said the same. Am I missing something?"
"Just the closest friendship you've ever seen," John said with a smile. "They'll fix each other, just being away from it all for a while."
"Damn, they give me a headache," Gardner replied with an ironic chuckle.
"Learn to live with the headache, Sam. They are the best you have," Jon said emphatically.
=/\=
2 days later...
"Shut up, Malcolm," T'Pol swore halfway into his friend's lecture about how irresponsible it was to run himself down like that and Trip just wanted to be asleep again. Hoshi's giggle about Malcolm being put in his place should have amused him, but he just felt as if Malcolm was kicking him while he was on the ground. That, coupled to the feeling of being protectively cradled by T'Pol, which exaggerated his feeling of helplessness started the tears again. He felt useless. He wasn't supposed to cry this easily.
Hoshi's good mood died down fast.
"I..."
"Shut the hell up, now," he heard Hoshi hiss. "Bring this fucking shuttle down and don't say a thing!"
The feeling of fomenting dissent between his friends rocked him even harder. Soon he felt being passed on from T'Pol's embrace into Hoshi's arms. He could see that her eyes were moist.
"We'll help you buddy," he heard her whispered promise and although he could use all the consolation available himself, he hugged her close. Hoshi planted a quick kiss near his ear as he clutched her to his chest.
In the background he could hear T'Pol berating Malcolm in a whispered voice.
=/\=
T'Pol climbed out of the shuttle and Trip's stiffening stance told her they had done right. In a heartbeat the dark emotions in the bond were washed over by wonder and disbelief. It would not make the fear, anxiety and sadness go away, but their absence for a time was a welcome relief.
"Holy cow, this is beautiful," he said.
"It is indeed, Ashayam," she agreed and slung her arm around him.
"How long till she...?" he started to ask and for the first time in many days she felt a slight amusement resonating in their bond.
"I'm testing the waters," a naked Hoshi announced, running past them.
"Scratch that question," Trip said drily and zipped open his suit. In mere seconds he got rid of all clothing too, throwing them on the pile that Hoshi had left next to the shuttle. He ran after her, diving into the ocean enthusiastically.
=/\=
"I don't have to understand that, do I?" Malcolm asked looking at Hoshi and Trip splashing about in the clear water like children.
"Maybe you should seize trying to be more Vulcan than I," T'Pol replied deadpan, observing the spectacle, too. "Hoshi is most emotional and your sensibilities are lacking at times."
"Ya, about Trip...," he started sincerely, feeling bad about having put additional stress on Trip.
"Do not apologize to me," she said, shedding her uniform. "Talk to them."
Malcolm watched T'Pol walk towards the water a little more regally but no less naked than than Trip and Hoshi and picked up the pile of clothes his three friends had left right next to the shuttle pod.
"I don't think you'll be needed much the coming days," he announced to the pile of discarded clothes in his arms. "Might as well make myself useful. It's better than them asking me to join them."
He walked off towards the the house, the key dangling on the little finger of his right hand.
=/\=
Malcolm woke up to the feeling of Hoshi's body wrapped around him. When he opened his eyes he was looking straight into the almond orbs of hers. She kissed him and afforded him a bright smile while getting up.
"The supply shuttle will soon arrive," he said. "Maybe you should..."
"Unwillingly," Hoshi giggled and draped a bathrobe around herself. She took two more off the hooks. "I'll bring these to Trip and T'Pol."
"Where are they?" he asked, crawling out of the bed, too.
Hoshi put a finger to his cheek and turned his head toward the window. He saw T'Pol and Trip sleeping naked and entangled in a pile on a large towel on the beach.
"Good thing it's summer around here," he said and followed her out of the house, chuckling.
=/\=
"Just got a message," Charles Tucker jr. announced. "In three days you can meet them, honey."
"Is there a specific reason why I am referred to as a food item?" T'Pau asked in confusion and her confusion got even bigger when Cathryn started laughing.
"It's just a term of endearment," the laughing human woman explained. "Trip and his dad use that a lot. Come on, dear let's head to the big city. I'll explain our men to you on the way."
=/\=
Malcolm ripped open the can of beer and looked into the distance. He was on an island that was entirely surrounded by water – that went with the definition of an island – and nonetheless he felt reasonably well rather than panicked. Of course everybody had abstained from asking him to actually go into the water, which was a big help. Trip and Hoshi surely loved it. They had gone for a swim several times over the day, trying to heal each other in between.
If those two would be paid by the kilometer, they surely would have earned their pay today, taking endless walks around the island, talking to each other. Seeing Trip starting to cry unexpectedly was unsettling, but it seemed to be getting rarer and the episodes shorter. On at least two occasions it had been Hoshi, who had started to weep in Trip's arms and he cursed his past for the umpteenth time. He realized he was the wrong person to help his wife deal with past events.
One wasn't a good asset in the section if too easily overcome by emotion or even giving them too much thought. There had been only two cases of him crying in his adulthood. The funeral of Trip and T'Pol's baby daughter Elizabeth and after the bloody Tolaris trial, when he felt like a piece of shit for ripping the wife of his best friend a new one publicly. For all the atrocities he had seen over the years it should have been more than twice!
He looked up when he felt someone taking his hands. He saw T'Pol directly across from him straddling the wooden bench in front of the house like he did. She just held his hands and looked at him silently. He looked away when he noticed that a single tear had escaped his attention and was running down his face. And he even couldn't wipe it away as his hands were currently trapped in T'Pol's gentle grip. But wasn't that just the reaction the absence of which he had mentally beat himself up over a minute ago?
"Look at me," he said and looked back at T'Pol, once the treacherous drop had fallen of his cheek. "I need to learn to enter a bloody bathtub and I can't even cry properly. If it wasn't for my best friend, I wouldn't even know how to help my own wife."
"We are both former operatives," T'Pol said. "We were both conditioned to deal with unspeakable situations by suppressing or ignoring the emotional impact. It will take time to undo this conditioning. I have just spent seven hours in meditation and the progress is best described as 'minimal'"
Malcolm looked at her face and he began to understand what Trip had meant when he said that one can read Vulcans by looking into their eyes. He could see genuine concern in the hazel colored eyes before him. She wasn't smiling encouragingly, like Hoshi would have done in this situation, but somehow T'Pol's look paired with her gesture of just holding his hands had the same effect.
"Guess we are the emotionally challenged part of this self-help group," he said in an attempt to lighten the mood while hiding his own self-consciousness.
"And apparently the ones who actually brought any clothing," T'Pol shot back.
Malcolm threw his head back in laughter. T'Pol was wearing a light summer dress and he wore a pair of Bermuda's, but Trip and Hoshi had not worn anything since getting out of the shuttle the day before. It was not difficult to riddle out that T'Pol had whipped out one of her rare jokes on purpose. But he also knew that whenever she did so, something definitely serious was about to follow.
"I have seen you in action once when we terminated Admiral Black," T'Pol said in a serious tone. "Why don't you tell me about your past? As far as you are allowed to."
=/\=
"I think he's starting to open up," Trip said, taking Hoshi's hand as they waded out of the ocean. In the distance they could see T'Pol and Malcolm sit face to face with Malcolm telling her something in an unusually animated manner.
"Says you," Hoshi said and yanked his arm to make him face her. "If you try to bullshit us again like that... Trip, we all care about you. Mal hasn't got much friends, but you are like a brother to him. Would you do that to your brother?"
"Sorry Hoshi," he said sincerely. They were both still waist-deep in the water facing each other. "It's just that some damn habits die hard.
"That habit of yours is self destructive, Trip and we will look over your shoulder a bit more in the future."
"I'm fine with that," he said and kissed her on the cheek.
"Come on, let's join the story-telling," he said pointing at Malcolm and T'Pol.
"We're not dressed for the occasion," Hoshi giggled as Trip lead her out of the water.
"Don't worry, you look good in a bathrobe, honey."
=/\=
"Erm, luv, I think we should retire for the night," Malcolm stammered. The unmistakable sounds from the beach – now shrouded in darkness – left no doubt that Trip and T'Pol were not playing 'Scrabble'.
"Their game sounds like fun," Hoshi said in a husky voice. "I wanna play too, hubby."
"Whatever you wish, my love," he replied theatrically. "Too bad I don't get to peel you out of your dress."
Malcolm wore a wide grin when a naked Hoshi dragged him inside.