I wrote this chapter at 3 in the morning. I just woke up for no reason and I couldn't go back to sleep. If this chapter doesn't make much sense to you, now you know why. As usual, I apologize for the characters being OOC to serve my questionable amusement.

Characters belong to Square Enix and Disney.

"Aerith, if Tifa and I waged a war against each other, which side would you pick?" Yuffie asked as she fiddled with the many settings of the bulky camera in her hands.

"You know I don't support wars, Yuffie." Aerith said softly, a bit preoccupied with typing information into the Restoration's defense system. "That is a very wise decision, miss Aerith." came a robotic voice from Ansem's computer. Aerith smiled in thanks. "I've told you before, Tron. Just 'Aerith' is fine."

Yuffie rolled her eyes dramatically with a sigh. "Hippies," she muttered under her breath, but loud enough for everyone to hear. "Seriously, who would you root for?"

"You two are both my friends. I'd be rooting for both sides." Aerith replied easily. "Oh, really." Yuffie drawled with a knowing grin. "From what I remember, you and Tifa never got along well."

"That's not true." Aerith said, turning away from her typing to give Yuffie a small frown. "Tifa used to purposely knock you around in battles whenever you got too close to Cloud." Yuffie stated. "She told me they were accidents." the brunette offered in Tifa's defense. "Oh, come off it, Aerie. You and I both know she did that on purpose." Yuffie groaned.

At the all too clear memory of Tifa's fist accidentally colliding with the side of her face on more than one occasion because she missed the monster which was obviously nowhere close to her, Aerith's frown deepened as her stubborn determination to remain impartial faltered. "I was the healer. Of course I had to keep close to him." she mumbled quietly. She cast Yuffie a suspicious glance. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, I―" Yuffie began, but abruptly cut herself off. There was a brief pause as she shot a wary look at Ansem's computer. "Do go on," Tron urged. Yuffie folded her arms across her chest with a huff. "Let's take this to the library. Tron's being nosy again."

"That's not true!" Tron protested weakly, having no choice but to hopelessly watch the two female Committee members exit the room through the confines of his monitor.

"What did you want to tell me?" Aerith asked as she seated herself in a comfortable plush chair. She could not bring herself to understand why the rest of the Committee members chose to set up headquarters in Merlin's dingy home when they could have settled for an empty castle.

Yuffie attempted to create an air of suspense by prolonging her response, but only managed to last a mere couple of seconds before she was unable to contain herself. "Cloud told Leon that he likes him!" she blurted out in excitement. "Granted, it was a mistake because of my amazing skills to manipulate opportune moments, but that's only a minor detail." she added quickly in a hushed voice which did not go unnoticed by the older of the two.

Before Aerith could ask the ninja what exactly had happened, Yuffie disregarded her attempt to speak and continued with a dramatic cry. "That's not all!"

Aerith let out a small sigh followed by a nod, encouraging her friend to continue with much reluctance. "Tifa likes Leon! Which is why Cloud got put up to talk to him by her in the first place!" Yuffie explained as she bounced up and down. While Aerith didn't doubt the ninja's credibility, she often found herself against her methods of gathering information. "Yuffie, how do you know all of this?" she asked suspiciously.

"My mad ninja skills?" Yuffie offered with a sheepish grin.

"Yuffie," Aerith raised her voice in slight warning.

"Alright, fine!" Yuffie threw her arms up in the air with a defeated groan. "I went through Cloud's cell phone messages a few hours ago while he was asleep." she admitted. Aerith's suspicion had yet to waver as she crossed her arms. "Cloud barely lets anyone catch him sleep, let alone at this time in the afternoon."

"I may or may not have put sleeping medication in his coffee."

"Cloud doesn't drink coffee."

"And his water."

"Yuffie, that's horrible."

"The point is," Yuffie continued despite Aerith's protest, "Cloud has a date with Leon tonight and Tifa has no idea!" she said with much enthusiasm as her hands tightened their grip on the camera hanging from her neck. "You mean he didn't tell her?" Aerith asked worriedly, sitting up straight in her seat. Yuffie shrugged and twirled her fingers against each other in an act of innocence. "He might have been about to, but he fell asleep."

Aerith sighed and shook her head in resemblance of a disapproving mother. "Yuffie, explain." she urged with a growing frown. "Like I said, I went through his text messages." Yuffie said simply, giving another shrug. "That doesn't make much sense with what you've just told me." Aerith pointed out as she crossed her arms. "Alright, fine." Yuffie groaned in exasperation before sticking her bottom lip out in an annoyed pout. "He was trying to text Tifa to explain that he accidentally asked Leon out on a date instead of a normal dinner―"

"Why couldn't he have just called her?" Aerith wondered aloud. Yuffie rolled her eyes as if her friend had just asked her a very stupid question. "Because he's a pussy." she stated. Aerith could not bring herself to argue with that logic, so she chose to remained silent. "So, anyway. As I was saying, he was trying to explain, but Tifa just wasn't getting it."

- Flashback -

Cloud bit down his bottom lip as he wondered how he could break the news to Tifa without her bursting into a fit of tears and eventually using him as a punching bag. He was more worried about the former, but he could do without the latter. After a brief moment of thought, he decided that he would inform her via text message instead of physically being close to her and possibly putting himself in danger. With a determined nod, he took his cell phone out and began to text. 'Tifa, I have something to tell you.'

About a minute later came the faint buzz of Cloud's vibrating cell phone. He hesitantly peered down at the message. 'y cant u just call me?' he read inwardly. He frowned and paused briefly to provide Tifa with an excuse. 'My throat hurts.'

Cloud's phone shook again in an instant, but the faint smell of smoke followed by a shrill cry from Merlin's owl caught his attention. He glanced up from his leaning position against the wall to see Cid smoking on a cigarette, the older man grinning maliciously at Archimedes. It was widely known that Cid and Merlin were constantly at each other's throats. The pilot was currently having a go at his fifth attempt at trying to kill the magician's pet bird.

"Cid, put that out!" Cloud snapped in a loud voice because his throat obviously did not hurt, and more importantly, Merlin would not use his magic to help clean up his hopelessly messy apartment if the magician had found out he had watched his owl die. Cid grumbled an audible string of colorful curses at the younger blond before reluctantly pressing his cigarette against the keyboard, earning a yelp from Tron. Cloud rolled his eyes and went back to resuming his task of text messaging, his free hand idly rubbing at his throat which actually began to feel sore because he normally did not raise his voice like that.

"Water?" came a playful voice as a mug was held before him.

Cloud looked up from the small monitor of his cell phone and instantly felt himself tense as he hissed vehemently at the shorter girl smiling in front of him. "Yuffie!" he cried with anger. He regretted his outburst shortly after as he brought his hand to rub his throat again. "I'll deal with you later." he growled and snatched the mug from her hands, having already decided he would: Drink water, explain to Tifa that he had accidentally asked Leon out on a date, and then use the empty mug to pummel Yuffie, all in that specific order. He ignored Yuffie's annoyed 'you're welcome, Spikey' and lowered his gaze to continue texting with his unoccupied hand. 'Sorry, I'm surrounded by idiots. Anyway... Tifa... I wanted to tell you that I accidentally asked Leon out yesterday.'

It took a few minutes for a response to come, which had Cloud a bit worried. 'OMG OMG dats great! make sure 2 hav lots of fun n den tell me all about it! :) THX SO MUCH CLOUD! xoxo'

Cloud frowned at the message. Had he not been clear enough? 'Tifa... I mean I accidentally asked him out on a daaadhasjfds' he attempted to explain but Yuffie had snatched his cell phone out of his grasp before he could text in the last word. The blond pushed himself off the wall to charge furiously towards the grinning ninja, instead finding himself surprisingly sluggish as he eventually dropped sideways into a mountain of Merlin's books. Cid glanced back at the ruckus but decided not to do anything about it because the younger blond had made him put out his smoke. As Yuffie was about to let out a cry of victory, she was cut off by a buzz from Cloud's cell phone in her hand signalling another text response. It read: 'wtf?'

Yuffie's lips stretched into a broad grin as she quickly texted a response. 'I was trying to say I asked him out on da best night out eva! But I got carried away because I'm just so pumped right now. Get ready for your world to be rocked, gurl. ;]'

Seconds later, a reply came. 'what da hell, cloud.' Yuffie ignored the confused reply and proceeded to seat herself on Cloud's fallen body as she began to read every single text message there was in the blond's cell phone.

- End flashback -

"Yuffie!" Aerith cried in disbelief. Yuffie disregarded her outburst and smiled at the memory. "Today is a wonderful day." the ninja said wistfully. Aerith let her forehead rest against her palm as she let out a small sigh. "I suppose Cloud still has the opportunity to straighten things out with Tifa before his dinner with Leon. Not all hope is lost." she reasoned to herself. "Which is where we'll come in!" Yuffie chirped with her fists raised in a gesture of excitement. "Think of the possibilities! Almost anything we do could change their situation drastically. I'm rooting for team Leon! Because that's what Tifa gets for borrowing my shorts last week without my permission."

"You stole those shorts from her. And I'm not sure I follow." Aerith said slowly. Yuffie placed her hands on her hips with a roll of her eyes. "Obviously team Leon is the team which looks past Cloud's mental handicaps―"

"Yuffie, for the last time, Cloud isn't mentally impaired."

"―and his initial accidental mistake of asking him out on a date in the first place, and makes the best out of it, allowing true love to slowly bloss―"

Aerith frowned disapprovingly at the ninja's suggestion. "They're people, not inanimate objects. You can't just play around with them to amuse yourself." she said in a stern manner. Yuffie batted her eyelashes, her eyes widening in a pleading look. Aerith shook her head. "Let them sort out their own matters."

"Not if I can do anything about it!" Yuffie announced loudly, completely ignoring Aerith's advice. "Yuffie―" the brunette cried in exasperation, but was cut off as the ninja bolted out of the room in a swift escape.

"I find Cloud's revealed homosexuality to be unsurprising." came Tron's voice through the door separating the small library from the control room. Aerith let out a long sigh as she leaned back into her seat.

"Cloud Strife, what are you doing?"

Cloud stirred at the loud voice and chose to ignore it. He sounded an unintelligible groan as his hold on one of Merlin's many haphazardly placed tattered books tightened in his arms. It was a surprisingly decent substitute for a pillow; probably soft from being around for so many years. It was rumored that Merlin had been around since the dinosaurs roamed the worlds, and judging by how undeniably ancient the old man looked, no one actually doubted that rumor. Unfortunately for Cid, a similar rumor followed him.

"Are you sleeping? In Merlin's stack of books?"

Cloud's only response was a contented hum and a small movement of his head burying itself deeper into the pages of the closest open book.

"Cloud, you― Gaia! You only have half an hour to get ready!"

A loud thump was heard as a large book landed directly on the sleeping man's head. He immediately shot up with a howl of pain, his hands rubbing at his reddening nose. "What in the worlds... Tifa!" he yelled and pushed himself off the pile of thick books he was in. "What was that for!"

"Come on!" Tifa urged with a strong tug at Cloud's arm, pulling him on to his feet. "You have exactly..." she trailed as she glanced up at the clock hanging behind him, "Twenty eight minutes to make yourself presentable!"

"What are you talking about?"

Tifa shot the blond a thoroughly exasperated look. "What do you mean, 'what am I talking about'! Cloud, your dinner with Leon is less than half an hour away and you're sleeping in a pile of foul scented books!" she yelled, grabbing Cloud by his shoulders to shake them. Cloud frowned and pried her hands off of him, grimacing as he realized that the undesirable smell of the elderly was all over him. His eyes widened after he overcame his initial feelings of weariness. "Where's Yuffie!" he abruptly exclaimed. Tifa was startled by his loud voice and used another nearby book to hit him over the head. "That's not important! We have to get you back to your apartment to get ready!" she yelled with an equally raised tone before she tossed the book aside and dragged Cloud out of the small Committee headquarters by his arm.

On the way to their short trudge towards Cloud's apartment, they ran into Yuffie who seemed short out of breath. "Hey, guys!" Yuffie greeted the two cheerily. Cloud opened his mouth to speak, but Tifa had spoke up before him. "Yuffie, we don't have time for you right now." she said in a hurried voice and tried to sidestep the ninja. Yuffie quickly shuffled in front of her.

Judging by Tifa's lack of murderous intent towards her, Yuffie's grin widened as she figured that Cloud didn't have the chance to explain to her what had happened with Leon. "What's with the rush?" she asked. Tifa let out a lengthy groan in irritation as her teeth bared in an irritated snarl. "I'll tell you some other day." she growled lowly before she made another move to stomp past the younger female. Cloud looked back at the ninja with a pointed glare and turned to Tifa with renewed urgency. "Tifa, I have to tell you someth―"

"Gee!" Yuffie yelled in an unnecessarily booming voice, effectively cutting off what Cloud was about to say. "You guys sure look busy. If only I could offer some assistance."

Much to Cloud's dismay, Tifa stopped and looked back at the ninja. The man shook his head fervently, but it was too late. "Of course you can!" Tifa beamed, her dark expression replaced with a large smile. "I'm helping Cloud get dressed for his dinner with Leon, wanna help?" she asked with hopeful eyes. Cloud glanced up and hoped for a miracle, but was denied tragically as Yuffie accepted the offer and skipped along with them.

"I heard Leon enjoys the presence of a shirtless male." Yuffie said in an all too casual manner as she helped Tifa style the messy spikes in Cloud's hair. Tifa gave her an incredulous look, but urged her to continue because everyone knew Yuffie used to spend the most time with Leon. Cloud had given up trying to speak a while ago, as the girls would always manage to cut him off in one way or another. "He once told me that men who were willing to bare their chests to him really encouraged him to speak." the ninja continued. Cloud gave her a look that was almost pleading. His pained expression went unnoticed.

Tifa raised a fine brow. "Really? How come?"

"He said it reflected how truthful they were to themselves, and how they have embraced their inner spirit and true self." Yuffie said with a smile as she proceeded to apply cologne onto the horrified blond.

Tifa let out a lengthy sigh. "Leon's so deep." she cooed softly. She pulled down the zip of Cloud's vest to reveal his toned chest with a quick tug. "Tifa―" the man attempt to protest, but was promptly silenced after Yuffie sprayed a cloud of cologne directly at his face. "Is this okay?" Tifa asked, prying the vest open to show off more of Cloud's body.

Yuffie stepped back to admire the upper body of the violently coughing blond. "Trust me, Tifa, it's fine."

Tifa's smile broke into a grin and patted Cloud's back with more force than necessary. "You're good to go, Cloud!"

"But..."

Tifa's grin faltered at Yuffie's trailing voice. "But?"

"The final touch." Yuffie said while she dug her hands into her pockets, eventually taking out a small, glittery tube. Cloud's perpetual frown deepened. Tifa spoke up. "Lip gloss?" she asked incredulously, but did not accuse Yuffie of being ridiculous because she had to have a reason which further revealed how deep Leon was. Yuffie gave a firm nod before popping the cap off the tube. "Strawberry lip gloss." she corrected as she held the tube closer to the terrified blond's face. Tifa opened her mouth to further question her, but Yuffie continued. "Leon enjoys drinking in the sight of beautiful lips. It puts him at ease." the ninja said in a soft voice.

"Why?" Tifa asked with baited breath. "It..." Yuffie feigned a choked sob which earned her a heated glare from Cloud, "It reminds him of his mother."

"That poor man!" Tifa placed her hands over her heart with a sad gasp. "Why strawberry, though?"

"Leon has the nose of a bloodhound." Yuffie said. "He was raised in a field of strawberries. He can recognize the faintest smell of the fruit from a mile away."

Tifa nodded in admiration as she watched Yuffie apply a thick, shimmering coat of gloss onto Cloud's tightened lips. "No wonder he's such a gentle soul. He was raised in a beautiful field." she sighed. Cloud clenched his fists by his sides, shaking in anger as he was about to burst―

"Looks like you're ready, Spikey!" Yuffie exclaimed joyously before he could let out a cry of agony. The girls took a few steps back to admire their handiwork. They smiled at the sight of a (too) strongly-scented Cloud, his vest opened to reveal his inspiring honesty to himself and his lips smeared with a glittering coat of gloss for Leon to bask in its beauty and feelings of childhood nostalgia.

"You look fantastic." Tifa finally said.

A/N: I initially wanted to end with Cloud and Leon's not-so-date, but I figured it would be awkward and kind of long, so I didn't. My expertise lies in Not Doing Homework Or Anything Else For That Matter, so I'll probably have another chapter up pretty soon.