I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.
As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.
I hope everyone enjoys.
Chapter Seven
It had been a month since King Wrath had implemented Tohr's new schedule for the Brotherhood and their warriors. At the same time his Majesty had also denied Saxton's request to stay in the Brotherhood's mansion. He proclaimed only the Brothers and their shellans, their warriors, and the doggen would be allowed to live in the mansion.
Blay had spoken to Sax a few times on the phone. They were always short calls. Saxton seemed to be keeping his word about being friends. He just called to check up on Blay. He was worried about him feeling guilty and that he might become depressed. He tried to politely hint to Sax that the calls were a bad idea.
Blay always felt most guilty after one of Saxton's calls. Just talking to the male made him think about that fateful day and made the guilt fresh again. The day after Sax and Blay had been together, Blay woke knowing that there was no one in this world for him but Qhuinn and that he would never have him.
Qhuinn wanted a normal life. To him, loving Blay was just another thing that the glymera would hold against him. Blay understood his need for the acceptance of the glymera; his parents and siblings never cared for him and never respected him. Making the glymera accept him would be equal to his family accepting him. Blay just wished his acceptance, his love was enough.
Honestly Blay had always thought himself pretty normal. Well except for loving Qhuinn. Society says loving another male is wrong, but how could something that felt so right and filled his heart with such joy be wrong. The happiest moments of Blay short life had been the times Qhuinn had kissed him. Blay would never forget how soft yet firm Qhuinn's lips were on his. How demanding and devastatingly gentle at the same time. Qhuinn was fire and passion. He was proud and honorable. He was a strong and fierce warrior; and a devoted and protective friend. He was loyal through and through. He was an awesome male. He had his faults too but everything good about him far out weighed the rest in Blay's eyes.
That is why it was necessary to stay away from the male as much as he could. It was a very good thing that since the schedule change he had only to see Qhuinn once a week plus meals and Brotherhood meetings. They had only exchanged a hand full of words all month.
Blay now sat between Xhex and Tohr at every meal. Blay had been spending a lot of time with the Brothers Butch, Tohr, and Phury. Blay patrolled twice a week with Phury and twice a week with Tohr. His once a week with Qhuinn was with Phury and not John Matthew. Phury set a fast pace on the nights the three went out together that left little room for talking. Blay knew this was for his benefit.
Blay spent some of his down time down in the Pit with Butch and V. Butch had invited him back to the Pit one night after training him on the computers. V had told him he could hang there anytime he felt crowded at the big house. In the three weeks he had frequented the Pit, V hadn't spoke another word to him, but Butch on the other hand never shut up. Blay was grateful to both Brothers.
On nights when he and Phury patrolled together, the Primale entertained him with stories of the Chosen. He also gave Blay an opportunity to discuss things he couldn't with the others. Phury had a way of listening that was like no one else he had ever met. The male really listened and if he said something you really paid attention. His talks with Phury helped to ease his heart.
As a step in reestablishing himself Blay had started calling his parents again. Just weekly on one of his nights in. The calls were helping to center him again. Over the past month Blay had realized out side of fighting, his life had started to rotate around Qhuinn. His highs and lows and everything in-between were a direct result of the other male.
Blay was doing several things to help establish him as an individual. Separate from Qhuinn and John Matthew. He found that he actually enjoyed doing the reports because it made him feel useful. He even helped on his nights off. Butch could always use the help and Rhage never missed a chance to pass the buck when it came to paperwork.
He and Queen Beth had even talked the King into recycling. He set things up with the recycling centers and set the doggen into action. Blay love being useful and reducing the Brotherhood's carbon foot print was an excellent way to accomplish it. He and the doggen had a mini recycling center in the garage. He hadn't seen the doggen this happy in years.
The only problem was if he didn't keep moving and stay busy he missed Qhuinn terribly. If he was left to himself for more than an hour or so the pain became a physical ache in the center of his chest. The days were still awfully bad. He always dreamed of Qhuinn. He couldn't decide which were worse: the dreams that left him panting with an erection; the ones that left him crying because of rejection; or the ones that left him sobbing with loss.
Ever since he had stopped going out with Qhuinn and John Matthew every night he had horrible nightmares where he envisioned Qhuinn dying. In his dreams it was always his fault that Qhuinn died. It was always because Blay wasn't there to protect him while he protected John Matthew. Blay always woke from these dreams crying and shaking. His breathing would be labored and he always found himself calling Qhuinn's room just to make sure he was alive. He always hung up quickly without saying anything. He knew this angered Qhuinn but he couldn't help himself. Qhuinn may not want him, he may not want to want Qhuinn, he may have managed to remove Qhuinn as the center of his world, but truth was the male was his heart and always would be. Qhuinn was his pyrocant, his weakness.
Tonight was the first time in a month that he would be going out with Qhuinn and John Matthew. Xhex was traveling to the sympath colony with King Rehvenge. Blay found that he was very nervous as he went down for First Meal. When he reached the dinning hall he saw that there was no place for him between Xhex and Tohr, but a chair was left open between Mary and Qhuinn.
…
Qhuinn couldn't believe his luck. Tonight he was hitting the streets with his boys for the first time in like forever. And hopefully he and Blay could talk. He had never thought of himself as much of a talker, but with Blay avoiding him, he desperately missed the male's voice. Hell he missed everything about him, the way he looked and even the way he smelled. Nothing felt right without Blay at his side.
Qhuinn was beginning to realize that his heart was overriding his brain and in the process ruining all his dreams. His mind insisted that he should be finding a female to mate and have young with. A female of high standing that would improve his status with the glymera and wouldn't Layla be perfect. He had tried again to give Layla what she wanted last week when he had fed. The Scribe Virgin only knew how hard this was for Layla. The female had made it very clear that she wanted sex with him. But he just couldn't, no matter how many times she threw herself at him. He could kiss her, but her body just didn't do anything for him. He was having the similar problem with the girls at the clubs. And the reason being his heart had won the battle and as long as he took the females from behind and kept his hands away from their breast, he could pretend they were Blay. And he couldn't fool himself anymore; the male was all he wanted.
Qhuinn was afraid this was going to be the hardest on Layla. He wanted to talk to Blay tonight, but before he tried to move on Blay, he needed to tell Layla and arrange for another Chosen to feed on. He knew Blay was feeding on another Chosen; maybe they could go back to sharing. The idea made him smile.
He also had to find out more about Blay's and Sax's relationship. Sax was his favorite family member and he was the only family Qhuinn had left, but when it came to Blay it was every male for himself. And Blay was his. He had tried to get Sax to blab to him, but the male was made of steel and insisted if Qhuinn wanted to know any details he would just have to talk to Blay. Sax could be a real hard ass when he wanted too, that's what made him such a great attorney. He really hoped that Sax and he could survive a battle for Blay, because Qhuinn planed to win and he'd play dirty if he had to.
The first part of his plan almost brought him and Xhex to blows. Qhuinn had came down early for First Meal and had purposely placed himself so that Blay would have to sit by him. John had come in so engrossed in his conversation with Z, he just sat by Qhuinn and never noticed the change. It wasn't until Xhex and Tohr came in that anyone realized what he had done.
"Qhuinn you need to move down a chair," Xhex said.
"No, we're good," Qhuinn could tell by the look on her face she knew he had done this on purpose and that she disapproved.
"She's right, Qhuinn, we're a chair short. We need a spot for Blay," Tohr commented, taking his seat beside King Rehvenge. The others already at the table were starting to take notice. Butch and Z were flat out staring at him.
John signed, 'Move down one.'
"You're not my boss; he can sit by me tonight."
"That's not what he wants," Xhex said moving closer to him. She was pissed. 'Bitch!'
"How do you know? You're not his best friend, I am," He didn't like it when others thought they knew Blay better than him. 'No one knows my boy like me, no one.'
Xhex got in his face, "So, he's just been sitting down here between me and Tohr for no good reason."
"He just wants to get to know you better, you are John's shellan."
"Fine, Mr. I-Know-Every-Damn-Thing, why then when he is forced to go on patrol with you he never talks to you?" He didn't like the way she said forced. It almost made it sound like Blay was avoiding him on purpose. 'Would Blay really do that?'
"Phury doesn't allow it," this was something that he never really understood.
"Phury's just trying to make it easier on him, cause you can be such a total dickhead," she practically spit at him. He jumped from his chair, going nose to nose with her. He heard a few gasp from the ladies and several chairs scrapping.
King Wrath chose that moment to enter. "That's enough. Everyone sit down. No, Xhex, by John. Blay is a male, he can handle this. He doesn't need us to caudle him anymore."
'Anymore? What the hell did that mean?' Qhuinn had missed something big in the past few weeks.
"Thank you, your Majesty," Blay's voice came from the doorway. Qhuinn couldn't see him because the King was blocking his view, but he heard the tension in Blay's sweet voice.
The King and Queen moved to the head of the table and Blay took the empty chair. 'By me, were he belongs. Funny I was never like this when it was just John between us.'
The meal started and Blay never even glanced his way. Something really was bothering him. Qhuinn waited and tried to catch the male's eyes for as long as he could. But finally decided to just speak. "How's Sax?"
"Fine, I suppose," Blay answered, but still did not look at him.
"What have you two been up too? You haven't been back to that fucked up cigar bar, have you?" Blay looked over at him and honestly looked a little shocked. 'Damn, I sound like a fucking chick.'
"No," was all he said as he glanced on down the table. "Xhex, is it just tonight or are you going to be gone longer?"
"Hopefully just the one night," she said. There was something Qhuinn had never seen in her eyes before as she spoke to Blay. He wasn't sure the exact emotion she was conveying, but it was such a knowing look that it had Qhuinn jealous.
"We're going up as soon as the meal is done and I plan to have everything done and set by sunset tomorrow so we can be back by First Meal," Rehv stated from his seat at the end of the table. He and Wrath, the two warrior kings, made a fearsome pair of bookends for the Brotherhood table. Awe inspiring.
"Then we should be able to continue patrols as usual tomorrow night," this came from Phury. Qhuinn looked at the Primale remembering what Xhex had said. Phury avoided his gaze and looked at his twin. "You want to fill in for Blay tonight?"
"Bella?" Z looked at his shellan.
"Sounds lovely, you two don't get to spend enough time together," she said with a smile.
Qhuinn took the opportunity to speak to Blay again. "So, Sax treating you good?"
"I do not want to discuss Saxton with you," Blay stated. The look in his eyes worried him.
"He do something to you?" Qhuinn was worried and furious at the same time. "I'll hurt him if he did." 'Fuck that I'll kill him if he did.'
"I said I am not discussing him with you!" Blay threw his napkin in his plate and stood. "John text me when you're ready to go. Everyone, I apologize, now if you'll excuse me?" Blay waited for his King to nod his approval before leaving.
Qhuinn started to follow when he heard a chorus of voices say, "Sit!"
If he had any doubts about who the voices belonged to, he knew when he turned around. King Wrath had stood along with the Brothers, Tohr, Butch, V, and Phury, plus Xhex and John. "Sit back down until John has finished, Qhuinn," his King ordered. "Then you will go straight to your room and get ready for patrol. Then wait down here in the pool room until ya'll are ready to patrol. Understood?"
"Yes, sir." Qhuinn dropped back in his chair. He would obey but he didn't have to be happy about and he didn't have to make it easy either. "What the fuck's wrong with you guys anyways? You all act like you have to protect him?"
"Maybe we do," said Xhex, "at least from you."
"What the fuck? He's my boy. I'd never hurt him." Now he was pissed.
"But you have," this came from Phury.
"What?" Qhuinn hadn't thought they knew.
"Of course we knew." V said.
"Stay the fuck out of my head," Qhuinn shouted at the brother. "It was for his own good."
"Really?" Even Butch's Marissa had something to say. "Shouldn't that be his choice?"
Qhuinn was on his feet again. "You know what? This is none of you guys' business. This is between Blay and me. If he needs protecting, he's mine to protect."
"So prove it?" This was from Butch of all people.
That's it! He had had it, he slammed his fist into the wall and said, "Fuck this shit! I'm going to my room." Qhuinn quickly hit the stairs and figured he would tell Fritz sorry later. He had to be alone.