I really should get out of the habit of writing on a whim at ungodly hours in the morning. I'll fix and edit any errors or bits that just don't make any sense when it's not 5 in the morning. I should also get to doing my homework, but it appears hell hasn't frozen over yet.

All characters belong to Square Enix and Disney.

"Alright, Spikey, lean casually against that lamppost over there." Yuffie said, pointing a finger in the direction of a suspiciously dim lit corner of the market square where a particularly eerie street light flickered from time to time.

Tifa placed her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow. "But why that one?" she asked.

"Because," Yuffie began matter-of-factly, "We have to help Cloud give off the illusion that he's cool." she explained, which resulted in a glare from the blond which she pointedly ignored. "Leon won't bother to appreciate the subtle effort we put into Cloud's outfit if he doesn't seem cool enough to be worthy of his time." she elaborated with a gesture of her hand from Cloud's not so subtle amount of lip gloss to his shamelessly revealed upper body. Tifa found her logic undeniable and pushed the man towards the blinking street light before he could manage a word of protest.

Cloud let out an indignant growl, almost stumbling over at the shove, yet his expression remained stoic as his back was forcibly pressed against the lamppost. He would have been frowning if not for the uncomfortable coat of gloss over his lips. "This is ridiculous." he spat vehemently, "I look more like a prostitute than I did at Corneo's mansion." he hissed through clenched teeth as he folded his arms across his bare chest, feeling self conscious without his vest zipped up in place.

Tifa rolled her eyes with a huff. "Dilly dally, shilly sha…" her voice trailed off before she could finish her signature phrase which no one but her really understood.

"What's wrong?" Yuffie asked as soon as she noticed the other woman's flustered look. Cloud's eyes narrowed in an expression of concern as Tifa occasionally gave hesitant glances over the man's shoulder.

"Nothing," Tifa said in a hurry, attempting to dismiss their worries with a forced laugh, but that wasn't enough to stop Cloud and the nosy ninja from turning their attention to the direction the dark haired woman's eyes were fixated at.

Cloud's worried gaze instantly hardened into a glare as the three of them caught sight of an actual prostitute dressed in a very similar fashion, leaning against a wall only a few street lights apart from the blond. The prostitute shortly noticed their gaze, then tilted his head aside to give the spiky haired man a wink before mouthing an encouraging 'good luck'. Cloud's expression twisted into a dark scowl as he slowly turned his head towards the women, clearly unamused.

"If it's any consolation, you work that shade of lip gloss far better than he does." Yuffie offered as if her words were supposed put the blond at ease. Tifa nodded fervently in agreement.

The blond narrowed his eyes dangerously at the two women before him, his fists clenching over his chest. This had gone on far enough. It didn't take much for Cloud to realize that he didn't lead the most fortunate life, but this was ridiculous. He decided he would explain right now that this entire fiasco was all the result of a misunderstanding, and then go back to his apartment with what was left of his pride intact. "Listen, Tifa―"

"I can see Leon!" Yuffie suddenly cried in a loud voice, giving Tifa's arm a series of urgent tugs.

"Gaia, help me." Cloud prayed under his breath. With a burst of determination, he had come to the decision that he would not to let their untimely interruptions stop him. "Tifa, listen to me―"

Tifa completely ignored the blond's pleas as she held her breath and perked up in excitement, frantically looking around in hopes of being graced by the sight of the stoic man. "Where!" she said with much enthusiasm. "Over there!" Yuffie pointed wildly at the narrow road along the side of the market square as she bounced in excitement with a squeal. Cloud let out a loud groan as he dejectedly slumped his back against the lamppost. Much to his dismay, his efforts to enlighten Tifa went unnoticed.

Tifa felt her heart skip a beat when her searching eyes had finally found what they were looking for. Her voice hitched in her throat as she drank in the sight of Leon looking pensively into the distance, the neon lights radiating brightly from the shops around him illuminating his strong, muscled frame. As he turned his torso towards an opposite direction, the thin fabric of his white shirt clung tightly to his lean body and revealed a silver of toned muscle which could be only seen on finely sculpted statues of Greek gods. The soft rays around him shone with a gentle caress on his luscious dark locks, settling breathtakingly on his soft hair like a heavenly halo.

"An angel..." She gasped in a quiet voice.

Cloud gave Tifa an incredulous look. He didn't understand what she was seeing in that man. All he saw was Leon gazing casually at a moogle plush placed in the front of a store window.

After a lengthy sigh, Tifa returned her attention to the blond with much reluctance. "Cloud, this is it. You're about to meet the only handsome and complex man in Radiant Garden." she said breathlessly as she disregarded Cloud's glower. She placed her hands in a firm grasp on his narrow shoulders with a smile intended to encourage him. Cloud's dark expression remained unwavering, his glittering lips tightened in an attempt to frown. "Please don't mess this up. I really like him." she added in a pleading voice at the sight of the blond's displeasured look.

Cloud's tightened lips eased at her desperate tone. He couldn't bring himself to deny her request; not after the countless times she had selflessly helped him during the darkest of times in his troubled past. He offered her a reluctant nod at which Tifa instantly beamed at. "Thank you so much! You're the best, Cloud!"

The edges of Cloud's glistening lips twitched in the faintest hint of a smile at her uplifted spirits.

"Next to Leon, that is." she added shortly after.

Cloud inwardly groaned in exasperation. For a brief moment he had forgotten that this was not the same woman who had helped him overcome obstacles he could never have brought himself to take on alone. No― this Tifa was a violent, demanding, and frustrating woman who often made him do things he didn't want to. But now that he thought about it... she really didn't change that much at all.

"Now at least try to look cool. Wouldn't want him to think you're unworthy." she continued as she pointed a finger in a scolding manner at his face. Cloud found himself unable to dignify that remark with a response.

"Come on, Tifa! We gotta get going before he sees us!" Yuffie urged, her hands tugging on Tifa's arm impatiently. Tifa nodded at the ninja and gave Cloud an encouraging thumbs up. "See you at the bar!" she said before removing her hand off of his shoulder, then hastily wiping it over her apron to remove the too strong scent of cologne.

"Tifa―" The girls promptly scattered into the shadows before Cloud could properly begin another protest.

Cloud let out a frustrated sigh. What in the worlds did he do to deserve any of this? "Gaia damn it." he cursed under his breath, ignoring the stares of the gawking townspeople as he folded his arms across his exposed chest. He leaned against the lamppost behind him and waited for Leon to hurry up. He wanted nothing more than to explain to the other man that everything was an accident and he was not dressed like this because he was a flamboyant homosexual like he suspected Sephiroth to be.

The blond straightened his composure when he heard approaching steps. He looked up to see Leon saunter towards him with a small nod. Unlike Cloud, he did not dress revealingly. Leon's case was quite the opposite as he was dressed in his usual attire, the only minor difference being that he had chose to wear a sleeved jacket that looked practically the same as his other one. Cloud made a mental note to suggest him to wear something other than dead animal one day.

"Hey," the brunet greeted before letting his eyes roam over Cloud's state of (un)dress. His brows furrowed as he searched for the right words to say. "You look..." he trailed, unable to find the appropriate words to describe the inappropriately dressed man.

Cloud's frown deepened at Leon's worried expression. He supposed how ridiculous he looked didn't matter because he was about to explain himself. "Look Leon, I―"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have trailed off like that." Leon interjected apologetically, his eyes unable to tear away Cloud's shimmering lips. "I meant to say you looked…" he paused slowly. Was he wearing lip gloss? Hyne, he really went all out for tonight. "… Good. I just honestly didn't expect you to show up with your vest open and…" he decided not to comment on the other man's choice of cosmetic in case he actually enjoyed wearing it. "Yeah."

"Neither did I." Cloud grumbled quietly as he fumbled for the head of his zipper which he soon found out to be missing. Oh, for Gaia's sakes! Tifa must have ripped it off at some point to make sure that he wasn't able to zip his vest up. He cursed inwardly.

"Is everything okay?" Leon asked after he noticed the brief flicker of displeasure in the blond's expression.

"No, everything about this day blows." Cloud growled with a discontented scowl. He suddenly flinched as he felt a small pebble bounce off his forehead. His eyes hastily darted around until he caught sight of a livid Tifa and Yuffie hiding indiscreetly behind a lamppost not far from the one he was at; the two girls undoubtedly eavesdropping on their conversation. "... my mind." Cloud quickly added. "Today is the best day of my life." he said before he lead the oblivious brunet towards Tifa's bar which was unsurprisingly close to the rather dodgy area of the town they stood in.

The two men headed towards a cramped table near the back of the bar which Tifa had reserved specially for them. She had even placed a large ornamental candlestick in the center of the table at the last minute after Yuffie graciously informed her that Leon greatly appreciated the sight of oozing thick, white liquids dripping from long objects.

Cloud groaned inwardly in disbelief at the setting and hoped Leon wouldn't think he was an unpleasant creep after this night. Not that he particularly cared what others thought of him, but he didn't want to lose the only decent sparring partner he had in this world because they were currently going to have a candlelight dinner while his vest was wide open. He refused to look up at the brunet's perturbed expression as they took their seats.

After a short, uncomfortable pause, Leon cleared his throat loudly to break the silence. "This is..." he began as he took in his surroundings, beginning to feel worried at Cloud's intentions towards him, "... nice." he finished in a hesitant voice. Cloud nodded slowly and took a sip out of the complimentary drink. "I'm really enjoying this water." he offered in an attempt to seem like this day was actually mind blowing for him.

Before another awkward pause could occur, Cloud felt a pebble pelt off his forehead once again. He looked around to find Tifa and Yuffie glaring at him from behind the bar stand not too far from his table, the working bartender beside them wondering why their boss was crouching under the counter. Tifa shot him a disbelieving look as she waved her arms in a gesture urging him to start a conversation with the other man.

Cloud honestly had no clue what to say, so he opted to begin with a typical opening line that was included in almost all the generic date scenes used in romance movies Aerith made him watch with her on Friday nights. "Tell me about yourself."

Leon tore his unsettled gaze away from the glistening lip gloss stains smeared on the rim of Cloud's glass. "Well," he said as his eyes trailed to the blond's revealed chest. He wondered why his vest was completely unzipped to begin with. "I..." he found himself unable to focus, distracted by a faint scar on Cloud's abdomen. The brunet shook his head to gather his thoughts, then settled to look at the other man's face. "I used to be..." he tried again, but instead had his attention fixated on the thick layer of glitter on Cloud's concerned frown.

"Leon, are you okay?" Cloud asked, slightly worried that he might have approached a dangerous topic. Leon was snapped out of his troubled daze at the sound of Cloud's voice. "Sorry, I got caught up in my thoughts." he lied as he composed himself. "I was trying to say that I used to be a SeeD before I had met any of you."

Cloud's thin brows furrowed in confusion. "We all used to be seeds at some point in our life." he pointed out. He didn't expect Leon to be so dense about his question. If he had wanted to know about the brunet's life story from day one in the womb, he would have been more specific.

"That's not what I meant. It was the name of my occupation." Leon explained dryly.

"Ah," Cloud gave him a slow nod before responding. "That's unfortunate."

Leon frowned at the remark and chose to steer away from the topic, not particularly fond of bringing up his past. "Why are you asking for an introduction? You should know enough about me to have asked me out." he said with narrowed eyes.

"It was an accident." Cloud snapped.

Leon figured he was apologizing and waved a hand dismissively. "It's alright. I know you're not very sociable and I appreciate the effort for trying to start a conversation." he said in reassurance.

Cloud wasn't sure whether to take that statement as an insult or a compliment. The blond attempted to give a more elaborate explanation, only to pause at a sudden chill as he felt the temperature in the bar had started to drop at an increasing rate. He frowned and brought his arms over his chest to remain warm, unable to recall the weather forecast mentioning there were any drastic changes in the temperature today. His confusion was short lived after he caught sight of Yuffie fervently pressing on the remote control directed at the air conditioner conveniently installed directly above them. What in Gaia's name was she up to this time? Cloud wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"Cloud, you should zip your vest up if you're starting to feel cold." Leon offered as he struggled to look at anywhere but Cloud's hardened nipples.

"I can't," the other man grumbled, completely oblivious to Leon's distress, "The zipper broke off this afternoon." he said truthfully.

"How did that happen?" the brunet asked to distract himself from anything else hardening.

Cloud quirked a brow when he took notice of Leon's discomforted expression. "Ti―" he abruptly cut himself off before he could tell him what had actually happened. He had no desire to tell him that Tifa ripped it off and risk looking more like a sex fiend than he already did. "It got stuck between the..." he trailed off as he brainstormed frantically for an excuse. To his frustration, no ideas came to mind, so he decided he would just finish off by describing his most recent experience he had of something being stuck; which occurred a few days ago when he had accidentally went through an agonizingly painful episode of accidentally slamming and effectively trapping his most sensitive organ between his freshly glued― "... Toilet seat."

"What?"

"You asked." Cloud replied simply as he lowered his hands to his crotch at the painful memory with a silent wince. He really shouldn't have used his bathroom in the first place right after the broken hinges of his toilet seat had to be fixed with a strong adhesive. Leon bit down his bottom lip and wondered if the blond was purposely trying to make him uncomfortable by wearing a broken vest and touching his crotch right in front of him. He looked away and preoccupied himself with the task of slowly shrugging off his bomber jacket and eventually handing it to Cloud ― both for the other man's sake and his own.

"But what about you?" Cloud asked before he could bring himself to accept the offered article of clothing. He didn't want Leon to bear this temperature in his place. He loathed the idea of sacrifice. He never had a good experience with it.

"I'll be fine. I don't mind the cold." Leon said with a faint quirk of his lips. He honestly didn't.

Cloud gave him a small, reluctant nod of gratitude and took the leather jacket with a gloved hand. "Thanks," he said as he shrugged it on. He didn't want to seem completely socially inept as Tifa frequently described him to be, so he attempted at another conversation. "I…" he began in a quiet voice, unsure of what to say. He then opted to go with his instincts and said the first that came to mind. "Your jacket smells nice." he said, instantly regretting his decision.

Leon seemed taken aback by the blond's compliment. "Thank you…" he replied slowly. He would have returned Cloud a similar compliment about his scent if his smelling senses weren't assaulted by the too strong scent of cologne, vanilla, alcohol and a hint of strawberry.

Cloud's cheeks dusted with a light hue of pink in embarrassment. Though he honestly found the faint scent of leather and cinnamon to be quite nice, he'd rather have not voiced that thought aloud. He could only take so much embarrassment in one day. He averted his gaze from the other man's and busied himself with the zipper on Leon's jacket, grateful that he could finally conceal his exposed chest as he zipped it up with a strong tug.

Leon let out a soft chuckle in amusement, finding the blond's flustered state rather endearing. Cloud hesitantly raised his head at the sound, his timid gaze meeting with Leon's stormy eyes. He found himself unable to look away from the brunet's serene expression as he felt himself inexplicably weaken at the sight. For once, he had to agree with Tifa; the man in front of him admittedly looked quite handsome, especially with the dim light from the candle's flame gently highlighting his attractive features. He felt himself lean towards the man seated opposite to him, feeling entranced in the deep gray swirls of his eyes―

"Tale as old as time," a voice suddenly sang.

The two men jolted in their seats, having not expected the candlestick before them to break into a musical number. Their shock was quickly settled down, as they were used to objects and animals alike having the unexplainable capability to speak.

Cloud turned his head aside and lowered his head to hide his flushed expression underneath his long bangs, feeling a slight twinge of apprehension after he realized he had been staring at another man.

"True as it may be." the candle continued. The men sat in silence as they found the song to be both soothing and a better alternative to another awkward pause. The candle raised its arms dramatically, feeling encouraged by their attentive silence. "Barely even friends, then somebody bends," the singing ornament turned its head to give Cloud a suggestive look. "Unexpectedl―"

Cloud rudely interrupted the song and poured his glass of water over the candlestick's flames, not liking what the lyrics were implying at him. The candle sputtered indignantly and frantically shook off the water pooling in its handles.

"That song was nice." Leon said with a dejected frown as he watched the candle jump off the table and trot off with a string of foreign curses.

Cloud shot him a pointed glare. "That's it." he snapped, refusing to go through with this anymore, let alone for an entire night. His pride couldn't take another blow after being thoroughly ridiculed today. The line was drawn when even singing dinner ornaments felt the need to make this day worse. "I'm leaving." he announced as he abruptly stood up from his chair and marched briskly towards the exit of Tifa's bar. Leon followed suit and trailed behind the frustrated blond with an air of worried silence.

After leaving the small bar, Cloud eventually slowed his pace and turned to face the quiet man behind him. He let out a heavy sigh and closed his eyes before he finally spoke up. "Leon," he began with a frown, "I thought I could do this, but I can't."

"I'm sorry," Leon apologized before the blond could further elaborate.

Cloud expression twisted into a mixture of both surprise and confusion at the brunet's sudden apology. "It's not your fault―"

"I'm sorry," he repeated firmly as he took a hesitant step towards Cloud. "I understand if you're not ready for this. I wouldn't have agreed to anything if I knew you needed more time."

"What? Leon, it's not your fault." Cloud tried again.

"It is my fault." Leon snapped in an instant. "You sounded so unsure of yourself and I accepted anyway." he finished with a small sigh, his eyes cast aside to avoid the blond's gaze. Cloud could only offer the other man a blank stare as he found himself growing confused with the situation. "Hey, it's alright," he offered in an uncertain voice as he hesitantly placed a gloved hand on Leon's arm in reassurance.

Leon glanced at the hand from under his long, shaggy bands with a small frown. "If you say so." he said with slight reluctance. "I have to admit that I do appreciate that you asked me out tonight, even though it was one of the strangest and shortest dates I've ever been on." he added, his veiled gaze traveling to the blond's glittering lips. "Thank you for that."

Oblivious to Leon's uneasy stare, Cloud tightened his hold on Leon's arm as he took a short pause, inwardly debating whether or not he should tell the other man that everything was the result of a mistake. His lips tensed in a tight line after he realized that he had to take a moment to think about this to begin with. He loosened his grasp on Leon's arm and dropped his hands to his sides, drawing in a small breath before gathering himself to explain the entire ordeal.

"Goodnight, Cloud." Leon said before the blond could even manage a word. He brought a hand to Cloud's to give it a slight squeeze before turning to leave towards the opposite direction.

"Wait," Cloud abruptly spoke up. Leon turned his body slightly to face the blond with a raised brow, urging him to continue with a questioning expression. Cloud opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't bring himself to speak as he found his voice inexplicably refusing to work at the sight of the other man's concerned gaze. "Your jacket." he blurted out without a proper thought. The brunet's expression softened at the words, his eyes gleaming with an amused glint. "You obviously need it more than I do. You can give it back to me tomorrow." he replied, raising a hand up in both a dismissive and departing gesture before he continued his walk down the narrow road, occasionally stopping by store windows to glance at moogle plush toys.

Cloud let out a heavy sigh after the brunet was out of eyesight. "Gaia damn it." he cursed as he inwardly berated himself. For reasons he couldn't understand himself, he felt strangely grateful that he didn't have to go through the trouble of explaining himself to the other man.

"Why are they taking so long?" Tifa asked as she folded her arms across her chest, beginning to feel impatient. She and Yuffie had been waiting for the two men to return ever since the moment they had left, unaware that they had no intention to because it was a struggle to hear their conversation over the constant loud clattering of glass around them.

Yuffie shrugged and shoved another fistful of peanuts into her mouth from the complimentary bowl of snacks she snatched off the bar table. "Maybe they went to the bathroom." she offered between mouthfuls.

Tifa gave her an incredulous stare. "Together?" she asked in disbelief.

Yuffie lowered the now empty bowl aside with another shrug. "They're guys, Teef. It's perfectly normal for them to help hold each others penis while they take a leak." she said dismissively, purposely leaving out the facts that the only time she saw that occur was in a questionably explicit video she had forced Tron to download for her, and the fluids the men were leaking out was certainly not urine.

"I guess," Tifa said with slight reluctance as her features scrunched up at the ninja's crude choice of words. "In that case, I can't wait to ask Cloud exactly how big Leon is." she added excitedly.

A/N: Sorry for writing them such a short date. I had no idea what to have them do. I don't really like this chapter either.

For anyone who's wondering, according to Urban Dictionary, this is what dilly dally shilly shally means: 'An expression used to chastise someone who is wasting time, focusing on unimportant things, procrastinating, or otherwise being an emo blond-haired sissy boy.'

Lyrics from Tale as old as time belong to Disney.