Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss. Hnnrrrrrr……..

Warnings: Err, swearing, if that offends you (I don't think I put a warning on any of the other chapters for swearing but then I've spent so much time on this chapter I thought I'd better do it propoerly or it would come back to haunt me...)

Chapter 27

Window to the Soul

That…that stupid kid! What the hell kind of thing was that to say to me? Of course I cared, of course I did…what did he think he knew about my feelings anyway! Damn I was angry, stuff that I was furious and I would have been shouting and ranting my head off if the situation hadn't called for justa little more tact. Ha, tact, when wasI ever worried about that? God, this was all so...just so…fucked up.

I just had to get away, anywhere but near to all that, aggravation.

I had to get away from them…but then, go to what..?

Strangely enough this side of the room, even though only thirty feet from the tumbled imbroglio of chairs and light, seemed exceedingly quiet. I wondered absently if he was asleep. There was no sound of snoring or deep breathing though, and as I stood between the over large fake fern and a convoluted glass statue that could only of ended up in an Esset base, I felt myself hesitate. I mean, I had only come over here to get away but, inexplicably I had brought myself back to another problem. Damn, this wasn't one of those subconscious things was it? This was stupid, why would I even want to talk to him anyway? I mean, it's not like he had anything I needed…

…I didn't need to know why he had done it, I didn't even care when it came down to it, but…but then, if I didn't find out, it was going to nag at me all night and I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing that the person who knew the answer was right there with the answer in his head. Damn you subconscious.

"Are you going to stand there all day? You're indecision is giving me a migraine."

I started, almost guiltily, as his voice broke the calm air. I felt strangely like I was intruding on something, that this was something that I shouldn't be witnessing and that, for all intents and purposes, I shouldn't be here. There was a bad feeling in the air, like the atmosphere itself was tangible. As I stepped past the barrier like foliage I could almost feel the shadows here throwing me dirty looks as I walked across the floor as if on egg shells. It was the feeling of death, that feeling oddly like loss. I tried to ignore it, ignoring the part of myself that wanted my feet to turn around and go back to my seat. In my head I started to wonder if having this feeling of hollow failure pervade me was any better than the feeling of aggravation I had just left.

It was an easy decision in the end.

The chair to the left of the couch squeaked far too loudly for its own good as I sat down. I felt myself curse mentally at being to bloody paranoid and cowardly, wondering to myself why the hell I was acting this way in the first place. I mean hell it was only Schuldich, and heck he was still recovering from a near fatal bullet wound and…I'm going to shut up now because I'm rambling. To put it bluntly I was being an idiot. This whole situation in itself was ludicrous however, so I guess I did have an excuse. In the long run I didn't want to think about it, it was all far too convoluted to start unravelling yet, even though this was probably the prime moment to start doing so; I wasn't given the chance to even consider starting however…

"What, is the place on fire or something?" his soft voice belayed his sarcasm.

"Huh…what are you talking about now?" I asked in confusion, wishing he would just shut up and let me think.

"That's the only reason I can think of that's good enough to let you come anywhere near me right now," he sighed out, rolling slightly to his side to look at me, "If it's not urgent then you can just get the hell back to where you came from."

"Charming," I drawled back, "and what exactly gave you the impression I came over here to talk to you anyway?"

"Oh you know," he shrugged lightly, "just something to do with the fact that I can read your mind or something. Guess that little fact helped."

I felt my fists tightening into balls. Damn, damn, damn it all. I didn't want to have this conversation but…but I couldn't not have it either. I both needed to know and didn't want to know and couldn't care less and cared too much all at the same time. My head almost began to hurt merely at the thought. Well fine, you know what if he wanted me to ask then I would and in return he would give me my answer, fair and square.

"So what exactly…" however I found myself stopping, trailing off slowly, letting the air dwindle on my tongue; I seemed to be starting a lot of things today I couldn't finish.

I just let the words drift away, leaving a heavy absence of sound in their wake. He rolled back over again, breaking his eyes away from me, lying once more on his back. Schuldich was deadly still apart from that lone motion, his movements hardly seeming to move him at all and his gestures sluggish and uncaring, his eyes slightly dreamy and almost…sad, if that was really the right word to describe his gaze. Perhaps more...lost. His arms were wrapped protectively around his torso where the bandages seemed a stark white against his tanned skin. His shirt lay loosely around his chest, not having been bothered to button it up since we had run, and his bandanna long since gone. His long red hair, as it lay draped over the edge of the cushion, was like a spill of blood against the dark black leather. Yet, the way the Schwartz laid there, that slightly unfocused look in his eyes, it, well, reminded me of the time we had brought Aya home after his sister...no, I meant Ran, but then to me he'd always be Aya. I'd given him that name, and I don't think I'd ever really call him anything else. Yet he definitely reminded me of Aya, that same sort of look, the same posture…but then no matter how desolate Schuldich's expression seemed at the moment, it was nothing compared to the complete emptiness that had been in Aya's eyes when he had lain in that same way back at the safe house. I wasn't even sure why Schuldich should be looking like that, there wasn't really anything wrong now that his wounds were bandaged up and he was healing, so…

…so wh was he looking at the ceiling as if it wasn't there?

Asshole.

"Well don't bother doing it again," he said as he stood, smoothing out his suit and fiddling with his glasses, "how exactly do you propose we get through this alive then? You can't go in there and I won't leave you in the elevator alone."

"Gosh Brad I never knew you cared," I said, batting my eyelashes and making him scowl rather satisfactorily.

"Don't call me Brad, Schuldich," he warned as he walked towards the unopened doors, "I don't really care how we do it. I can strap you down to one of those tables if that's what it takes, but I'm not leaving you in here on your own."

"On my…own, wait," I said with a dead look, my brow furrowing just for effect just to hide it from him, "is this to do with your vision? Or have you seen something else? It doesn't sound like your doing this out of caring for my health."

-Like you ever did that for any of us…-

Bastard.

I couldn't believe it; of all the times to give me one of his "for the good of the team" speeches it had to be when I had hardly recovered from copious near fatal bullet wounds and a severe panic/brain/crazy attack. Well, of course Mr. Stick-up-his-ass wouldn't have settled for anything less dramatic I suppose. God I couldn't believe we were still coming back to that sort of pathetic mentality even after this length of time…

"Are you staring at me for a good reason," I could hear that annoyed element in my voice, but I didn't care enough to correct it at that moment, "or am I just too gorgeous to resist?"

Silence.

"Oh, you're no fun," I said into that silence when there was no reply.

"Why did you do it?" he said suddenly.

Straight to the point, no messing around, perhaps that's one element of Weiss I do appreciate; they're very blunt.

"I couldn't possibly guess as to what you are talking about."

And I appreciate that element because it makes them so much easier to play with.

"You pushed me out of the way of that bullet," he said slowly as he played the scene over in his mind, ignoring my statement altogether, "and took it for yourself. I want to know why and you're going to tell me."

I lay there for another moment, watching the scene in his mind, from his point of view, and tried to think of a good answer, not for him as much as for myself. I didn't care how much he stewed over it and aggravated himself over it as long as I had the answer to keep from him in the first place. Yet, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't really think of one. I was at just as much of a loss as he was. Well, that sucked.

"And of course that's none of your business…" I started with a smirk.

"What was that partner?" he said with an ingratiating and very affronting smile.

"Just because we happen to have been forced to sit in the same room without killing each other," my smirk faded, "does not mean I have to tell you the intricate workings of my mind. I however know yours already and their boring me, you couldn't send in another of your little group for me to rake through could you?"

Silence.

"Thought not," I sighed and turned a little so I could get a look at him, delving further into that black abyss he called a mind, not caring when he finally noticed I was there, "but then I guess I could be speaking too soon. I mean there might be something interesting that I haven't found yet…"

"I wouldn't go there if I were you," he growled, his fair face crumpling into a frown under the strain of my assault, "I'm not the one incapacitated and vulnerable here."

"Yeah," I said, closing my eyes and peering further, "and neither am I."

I think it was when I struck a particular memory, a glimmering golden figure in a black void who I didn't recognise, that he stood up and was beside my couch in a flash. The thin strip of light from one of the side lamps at the other side of the room was abruptly obscured and when I opened my eyes there he was, like some great black angel with a distorted halo, looming and filled with malice.

"I said leave it alone," his voice was as menacing as his appearance.

"I'm sorry what was that? I can't quite hear you," I smiled viciously as I settled softly onto my back, "you'll have to come a little closer."

"I don't want to get any closer to your stinking breath Schwartz," he spat out with calm malice, "so just stay out when I tell you to stay out. Got it?"

I felt my hackles rise at that one statement and scowled darkly at him. What, we had been acquainted in as friendly a manner as we probably ever would be and now he felt he had the right to start threatening me? Just who the hell did he think he was talking to?

"Well if it's annoying you so much why don't you just get the hell away from me before I feel it my right to retaliate?" I spat back.

"Because I want your answer."

"Well I don't want to talk about it," I replied testily.

"Don't want to talk about it?" he echoed incredulously, "What, you scared or something?"

"Shut up," I said with the most finality in my voice I could gather, ignoring his obvious goad, "and fuck off."

When I heard him move then I thought that I must really have sounded more pissed off than I thought I had and that he was really going to leave. I sighed a little happy sigh, that was until I felt strong arms surrounding me and I was pulled roughly into a sitting position. It wasn't as easy a thing to do as it sounds, my body was still badly beaten up and sore from the fight and must have been a dead weight. That was maybe why I actually let out a small cry when I felt one of the bullet wounds tare open and begin to bleed again.

"Tell me what the hell this is all about," he hissed out, his face now level with mine, my pained breath hardly concealed against his chin, "what the hell's your game?"

"I've got a better idea," I snarled out, wincing only slightly as I felt him push harder into the couch and aggravating my wound even further, "why don't you eat shit and die?"

"God dammit Schuldich just tell me what the hell is going on here or I swear I'm going to make you bleed this couch red!"

"Little too late for that don't you think?" I smirked back, fully ready to either kill him or do some serious damage once my sarcasm had sunk in through his thick skull.

His mouth twisted then with rage, him obviously thinking that I meant about earlier that night when my wounds had been fresh; however when I moved my hand, the one I had been using to clutch at my once more bleeding wound, I think it must have caught his eye because he looked down…and he seemed to cringe at the red patch he saw widening on the bandage there. I stalled on spotting his look however, his odd look…I felt my malice putting itself on hold.

"I…" he faltered, a frown covering my brow at his severe change in behaviour, his hands loosening, "..shit, I…"

He was untying the bandage around my abdomen before I knew what was really happening, his other hand diving inside his jacket as he kept his eyes from my own confused and angry ones. The confusion only heightened when he brought out another bandage. This was too strange, so strange that I just had to let him play it out if only to see where he was going with it. Well I mean why…why the hell, after he'd just threatened to make me bleed out all over this couch, was Yoji was carefully and by all means kindly replacing my soiled bandage?

Bizarre, that was the only word for it however inappropriate it may sound to describe it. I even found myself surprised that he had bought a spare bandage in the first place, trying to seek out the now strangely complicated thoughts filling his head to breaking point. His face, considering his mental state, was oddly calm and focused. However even my confusion and curiosity wasn't enough to assuage my anger and I think I would have pushed him away if it wouldn't have opened the wound in my shoulder too.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I growled out breathily instead.

"You're bleeding," he said back matter-of-factly, not looking to my eyes as he spoke.

"Yeah, and who's fault is that?"

"Well now I'm going to stop it, aren't I?"

"And that's you redeemed is it?"

"Oh shut up, do you want to do this yourself?"
"Anything's better than having to have your dirty hands on me."

He pulled the bandage a little too tight as he pinned it off, scowling at me as he finally looked into my eyes. There was a moment's silence then, a rather awkward one that was neither hostile nor calm, where we both just sat and looked grumpily at each other. It was like we were waiting for something to happen, for someone to come over here just to diffuse the tension, for one of us to say something, for…well anything but this goddamn silence.

"I can't tell you because I don't fucking well know," I murmured into the silence, barely disturbing it, "and don't think that I wouldn't tell you if I did know because believe me I would do anything to get you off my case right now."

"Well," Yoji started, kneeling down on the floor in front of me as I laid carefully back down against the sighing couch, his face hidden by his hair and the darkness, "it's not quite the answer I wanted, but I guess it'll have to do just now."

"Yes," I snipped back testily, even if not quite as hostilely as before.

The shadows seemed to close in around us, the room darkening. It was as if I could feel my fuming frustration blacking out the edges of my vision, my haunted thoughts straining under that one damnable question. Why had I saved him? It wasn't even the most important question I could be asking myself right now considering the situation, yet it was the most persistent. I mean surely I should be thinking about how to get us out of this, about those new strangers who'd been blagging such crap earlier, about…well anything more important than why I had suffered a momentary madness earlier that night and saved someone I would never have considered sanely saving in a million years. Even as I had tried to justify it, it still seemed wholly alien, a concept not even conceived in the days when…well, let's just say the days before Schwartz. The momentary thought of sacrificing my own life for another's was something I had only suffered from once before that moment…but, well, that was different, completely different. This was an enemy, no two ways about it, no mater how much we pretended to be on the same side, we were enemies; it's that simple. Right? Of course I'm right.

And now I had a headache, great, of course; the indigestion after the main course. I bowed my head to my chest and ignored the pain…it was only pain after all. My wound twinged and I felt shiver run down the length of my spine, curling in on myself further as it made my mind tingle at the sensation. I didn't want to think about this, god damn these bastards, all of them; anything but this.

"There's something wrong with your Kitten over there you know," I said slowly, smirking as Yoji frowned.

"My…kitten?" he said with an incredulous look.

"Siberian you dumb fool," I growled, suddenly annoyed by hisidiotic ignorance,"he's…not right."

"Speak for yourself," he snorted, turning round to sit on the floor with his back against the couch, "you're so far beyond "not right" you…"

"Don't finish that sentence," I said tightly, daring him so badly in my head to even try it.

"God, could you get to the point perhaps?" he sighed, patting the pockets of his jacket and cursing when he didn't find any cigarettes.

"Fuck you," I snapped, "hell, try to help someone and they throw it in your face."

"Yeah, you're just so charitable."

"Meaning?" I drawled.

"You know exactly what I mean. Like you expect me to believe that you would tell me anything for free out of concern for a member of Weiss."

"Well under any other circumstances you'd be right on the mark by predicting my indifference and perhaps even joy at the thought of you being in pain; unfortunately my testy American friend over there has decided that we need you idiots to stay alive," I looked over to him out of the corner of my eye, "so I guess I'm forced to be concerned against my nature and better judgement."

"Ha…just as I thought," Yoji shook his head and if it wasn't so dark…I could have sworn there was a slight smile on his lips, "so…what is it you wanted to tell me?"

"Well, Siberian he…there's something wrong with his mind," I said vaguely, not really sure how to describe the feeling in words, "it's as if the guy has some severe split personality disorder."

"Ken? Are you nuts? He's the sanest of us all…" but he seemed to falter from his denial as he looked forwards in stubborn defiance, opening his mouth and closing it before finally sighing and bowing his head, "…alright you have a point. He has been acting really strangely over the past couple of days."

"You got any idea why, apart from the obvious reasons like the threat of almost being killed repeatedly over the past twenty four hours?"

"Well…" he seemed ready to say something before closing his mouth again, "not really."

"You know, I can just take the information if you're not willing to give," I warned him.

"Look, some secrets aren't mine to give away," he tried to reason.

"And this makes me care why?" I asked with a frown.

"Just don't bother all right," he snapped, "it's nothing to do with what I'm thinking of anyway; it's as if he's acting like a different person, like someone else is giving him lines to speak. This isn't some sort of trauma, this isn't grief and it isn't because he had his head bashed in on a banister either."

"More than likely I think it's something to do with the person who bashed his head off of the banister in the first place," I shrugged, "but then that's just my expert opinion."

"Yeah well," he sighed and in his mind wondered why he was even having this conversation; the thought made me want to laugh, "well I think there's something more to it than that. You…you don't now what it is do you?"

"No, not really," I shrugged again, uncurling slowly to get more comfortable, "but I can tell you one thing, it's taking its toll on him whatever it is. I think you'll have to keep an eye open, just incase…"

"Incase what?" he asked after a moments pause.

"Incase anything happens."

"Oh," he said sarcastically, "thanks."

"You're welcome."

God, look at me would you, what was I doing here? What was happening to the world? Everything was turning upside down and inside out, nothing was what it seemed any longer. Crawford was right when he said that we couldn't rely upon old perceptions any more, not when things had changed so radically. I mean I would have thought it a cold day in hell when I found Schuldich not only being half civil to me but even helpful, well to a point. And now I found myself sitting here next to him, his hair falling against my own, his voice permeating my thoughts and I didn't feel disturbed in the least. In fact, what was disturbing me was the reality that I felt calmer over here in the dark sitting against this couch than I did back over beside Omi and Ken. However, the aggravation that had been building in the air between everyone sitting in that circle of chairs made it hard to both concentrate and relax in any way…and basically that's what I needed to do right now. If Crawford was right about this place then this was the most rest we were going to get for a while. We were going to be running from the moment we left here and I for one was going to take advantage of this silence and calm to its fullest. Damn the convoluted explanations and the bullshit, the cover stories and the masks. I didn't want or care about them enough to merit staying over there in that circle of light, instead of over here in this calm darkness.

With the one enemy I never would have believed myself preferring over Omi of all people. I mean Schuldich, I never would have thought I would prefer him over even a knife in the back, a kick in the groin…anything really.

"So what is with this place?" I asked just to stop my introspection more than anything else, "What does it mean to you?"

"Are you still talking?" he said back with an annoyed tone which I ignored with an odd sense of ease.

"You went pretty nuts back there, in the lift I mean and," I stopped as I recalled the fear, the need to escape, clouding my vision as I felt it in every fibre of my mind, "that was your memory I saw, wasn't it?"

"And you thought I was being weird when I offered you my advice," he snorted, "now you're playing psychiatrist?"

"It's more curiosity actually," I said back, recalling suddenly the fact that I had seen Schuldich smoking earlier, "oh, and you can give me a cigarette while you're at it."

"What? Do you want to live beyond the next five seconds? You get off bossing me around or something?"

"Just give it up already and just give me a damn cigarette," I sighed, hoping he would just acquiesce so I didn't have to get them myself and risk being sent into a coma just to feed my nicotine habit.

Silence, a snort, rusting and then I felt something soft and light bounce off of my head and roll down my coat to land on the floor. I smiled at my victory and picked up the white stick before popping it into my mouth. Then came the distinct sharp pain of a solid metal lighter smacking me in the back of the head before dribbling down the same path as the cigarette had.

"Before you bugged me about that too, thought I would get straight to it."

"I'll kill you later," I growled back around my cigarette, picking up the lighter with one hand while rubbing my head with the other.

I inhaled deeply as I lit up, detachedly watching the way I could see my face reflected in my sunglasses as the red tip glowed brightly. I hadn't even had the presence of mind to take them off as I had wandered into the dark side of the room, not exactly at the forefront of my mind I guess.

The silence lingered, like the smoke pooling and eddying through my vision. I wasn't going to get an answer to that question either, I gathered from his stony behaviour, and simply let myself enjoy my cigarette and this moment of silence for what it was.

Escape.

I guess that, when I was slowly working myself up over why I would possibly prefer to get away from Omi and Ken and to come over here of all places…it was simply for that reason alone. It made the most sense now that I had discovered it, quite the little revelation. It was of course what we had all futilely been hungering for ever since things had slipped out of our control, spiralling seemingly endlessly into darkness, but then who wouldn't? No one would want to voluntarily live in a world where friends seemed enemies and enemy's friends, where you were constantly looking over your shoulder, constantly fearing a bullet in the back or another friend to go insane…

…but I digress; escaping this nightmare seemed like a dream. Unfortunately, the reality of gaining such a dream seemed as unrealistic as the bullshit those two weirdo's had been spouting before I left the little "meeting". Unattainable and intangible. Just like…

"Yoji…"

God. I never thought that…that I'd hear her voice again. I never knew it would hurt so much, so much just to hear her again, to see her disappear again after having her so close.

Asuka. I hadn't even really thought about it till now, what I had thought I had seen back at the nightclub after we were attacked. When Schuldich had touched it inside my mind earlier, the feeling of rage that he dared watch something so personal had outweighed the underlying feelings that accompanied the memory itself; now however, as my brooding deepened, it was all seeping back into my consciousness.

That golden vision appearing before my eyes so suddenly, drifting through black velvet, sliding from nothing and encased within infinity. That vision of her alive yet inspired by death, talking to me, telling me…not to die myself, even though I had wanted to. It was split seconds now that I looked back on that moment, that moment where I thought I was going crazy, either that or I was dead, and she was there, a shimmering Isis leading me onwards whilst pushing me away. I hadn't hardly believed my eyes when I had first looked upon her, her body smooth as silk, fading in and out around the seams, her eyes large and caring and…dead. Heck, would you look at me? I was half dead at the time, hallucinating, and I'm acting as if it really was her and not a figment of my dying brain standing there smiling at me. I knew it hadn't been her, even though I had wished it was, all in those split seconds. It just proved to me, in the end, how close she still was to me, that even after her betrayal and death at my own hands I had never really let her go. But I didn't want to think about it, none of it, perhaps, realistically, because of how close she still was in my heart. I would rather torture my brain with questions of why I was here in the first place, why Schwartz was here, who the strangers really were, just what the hell was going on here, just why Aya had gone insane and…

…but then…hell.

Oh hell.

There I was, yelling at Omi, accusing him I front of everyone of not caring, of not once thinking of Aya since he had tried to murder us in cold blood, and I hadn't thought about it since it had happened either. I'm such a hypocrite, berating him when I was supposed to be giving him hope, that's what he'd asked me for wasn't it? I mean Aya was the reason we joined up with Schwartz in the first place, for many reasons. Firstly, purely because of the sequence of events, he caused Schwartz to take us at a disadvantage when they first arrived; we were incapacitated, outnumbered and disorientated. Secondly, we teamed up with them because, can't believe I admit these things really, we couldn't find him on our own. I know I would never ever say something like that out loud, I know because I never have even when I've thought the same thing on numerous occasions, that we can't do this it's too much, we're not good enough, I can't do this anymore…yet I've always proven myself wrong in the end. I was hoping against hope that it would turn out the same way this time.

"So you think it's all bullshit, do you?"

The soft voice blew visibly through the smoke hanging around my head like a halo, distorting it into a million tiny vortexes. I breathed in slowly through my nose, ignoring the tickling sensation as the smoke made my nose itch; it was a moment before I replied, trying not to think "too loudly" about the idea's running through my head.

"You think any different?" I started, looking intently at the leaves of the plant in front of me while I spoke, "That wasn't an explanation they gave us back there, it was some sort of smoke screen. They didn't even answer our question, they just babbled on about some useless history to deviate from the fast that they were covering up for themselves."

"Yes, but think about it…" he started, stopping to roll slowly and carefully over until I could feel his breath shifting through my hair as he spoke, "if they really were covering up then wouldn't it be easier to just make up something convincing instead of something suspicious? If you ask me, there is an element of truth to what they're telling us."

"Truth? You of all people are buying this? I would have thought that after our experience of Esset and the like would have made you more cautious; you're seeming awfully blind here. Anyway I thought you could just go in and take from their minds the fact that it's all obvious lies. It's all too farfetched and they're so evasive; I don't like the feel of them."

"The feel of them eh?" I knew he was smirking without even turning my head, "Well, truth is, I can't see their minds, they're completely closed to me."

"Heh," I scoffed, shifting the smoke dramatically with my hand, "so even your great powers aren't infallible hmm? Since when did Schwartz start admitting weaknesses?"

"Oh it's not a weakness," he practically purred in my ear, "it's only truth, I don't tell lies. It's the same idea as the fact that it is true that I could simply and effectively kill every Weiss in this room without breaking a sweat, just as an analogy of course."

The softness of his voice did not belay the obvious threat that lay underneath, sending shivers up and down my spine; he said it so casually, continued on normally after saying it, yet I knew that it wasn't a casual thing. I would be careless, had been careless enough, to almost forget that this was one of the Schwartz assassins who had on many previous occasions tried to take my life. You would think that wouldn't be an easy thing to slip your mind ne?

"Anyway," he continued, altogether blasé, "I don't read any bad feelings, not to say that I trust them or that they're not just good at hiding, yet they seem genuine. The younger one is easier to read, he's more inexperienced than the other yet…yet there's something about him that doesn't quite fit."

"So what, you're not getting any bad feelings from these guys at all? Nothing, nada, zip, zero?" I asked with a look of sarcastic disbelief, "Please forgive me if I don't believe you."

"Testy much? You seriously think that it has to be what their telling us that's suspicious, or that they don't feel bad on the outside? Having mental shields as strong as my own at the simple age of nineteen isn't suspicious to you?" his voice was as biting as my own, dangerous even.

"Huh, what's that supposed to prove? I bet your shields were just as strong when you were nineteen," I snapped, half turning my head to look at him out of the corner of my eye.

I saw him open his mouth to retort only to stop, look a little confused and then close it again.

"Was that supposed to be an insult or a compliment?" his voice was still sullen yet now held a warped sense of curiosity as well.

"…Fucked if I know," I said after a moments hesitation, unsure as to the meaning of my statement myself despite the tone I had taken.

"Hmm," his vague reply slipped out into the air, neither an agreement nor an acknowledgement; it just was.

I could almost feel the time slipping away as we sat, the formless murmurs of the rest of our group like ghosting whispers. I mean this was all fine in the meantime but…well, it wasn't forever, unfortunately. This was, no matter how I tried to play it out in my mind, a short teasing period of rest. I knew that I kept coming back to that thought, that this wasn't going to last, but in reality I was still clinging to the hope that it could be. It hadn't sunk in yet that I couldn't just stay like this forever, that perhaps if we just didn't move then things could just stop in their advance along the path of time and we could stay in this dirge like stagnancy.

Ha, would you look at me? Sound like a sorry loser yet?

Back up, back up and start again. I was getting myself depressed thinking this stupid shit, stupid and useless. If I kept on like this then I was going to end up killing myself just so I didn't have to ever do anything ever again. That was following the same reasoning as I was using right now right? Right, idiotic; I need to think differently. Things had to advance, you couldn't just stands still or in the end you'd never get past the bad things to the good things. Yeah, that was more like it! Heh, would you just look at the self medicating shrink at work, genius ne? I liked to think so.

The soft clicking of shoes on the hard floor brought me back to my senses. I looked up as they continued to approach, focusing on the space beyond the fern in anticipation of the intruder. I heard Schuldich move behind me also, his small wince hardly noticeable as he pushed himself up onto his elbow.

"I think he wants me alone," was all he managed to chuckle out before the silhouette of Crawford appeared before me.

"Oh, so I'm being chucked out?" I said back as I pulled the last of my cigarette from my mouth and held it in my fingers, "does he expect me to just leave?"

"Yeah, something like that," he nodded and then all of a sudden the last of my cigarette was gone from my fingers and I turned sharply to look at him, "but I think it would be best for both of us if you did."

I could only glare as he slipped it into his mouth and took a long draw on the last of the burning embers; I was, however, too confused by his last statement to put up a fight. For some reason I found myself believing him and then I found myself sitting away from the couch and avoiding the looming shadow of Crawford sitting just in the corner of my eye. Schuldich let the smoke out slowly through his nose and closed his eyes happily.

"Yeah, I needed that before I have to deal with even more shit," he said more to himself than to me, "Sitting through your little conversation having only the fumes to keep me company was hard enough, but this one coming up needs nicotine."

"What in the hell are you talking about?" I shook my head as I stood, changing my mind as I looked down at him once more, "no, it doesn't matter, don't tell me, I don't want to know."

"Good, I wasn't planning on it anyway," he snorted, grinding the cigarette butt out roughly onto the ground.

I decided to walk past Crawford as if he wasn't even there, not really as a jibe but more so I didn't have to, as Schuldich put it, "deal with even more shit". That wasn't to say that I didn't notice the look in his eyes as I passed however, a strange glint that was hardly visible in his half shaded face, and the odd angle to his posture as he stood rigidly and watched the couch as if…it almost seemed he was looking straight at the couch and bypassing the person on it. It reminded me strangely of the look Schuldich had donned earlier but minus the hollowness or the, well…anything. Crawford was far too guarded to read anything from. I found myself wondering, as I walked away from them both towards the circle once more, why Schuldich had ever trusted Crawford in the first place? If he didn't trust the strangers because he couldn't read them, why trust another man you couldn't read? Yet, I guess I was being trivial, anything could have happened between them and I'd be none the wiser as to its significance or its existence.

Not that I, in the end, really cared.

AN: Please feel free to kick the author

Ah, well, that took it's time didn't it? Again, apologies for it being so late and I hope the fact that I'm giving you two makes up for it! For some bizarre, unknown, preternatural reason I was not able to finish this chapter for far too long a length of time. I had it 98 percentdone for about three weeks and then for some reason…just couldn't finish it. Highly frustrating doesn't even cover it, and I'm still not even happy with it now it's done. However, if it seems unfinished to you in any way, at least now you'll know the reason why; I just had to post it before I went insane. As ever please R&R, feedback very welcome!