Settling herself down deeper into the sofa cushions, Kerry took a long sip of red wine, enjoying the peace and quiet around her. She had managed to put Henry down to bed a half hour earlier than normal, exhausted from a day of catching up, and she took the time to finally relax.
Taking another sip, Kerry appraised the wine in her glass, swirling the red liquid around the edges slowly. Listening to the silence in the room, Kerry couldn't help but feel somewhat lonely for a moment, which was ridiculous, she thought, I have my son, my life, my work…
But not her.
Shaking her head as if physically removing the thoughts from her mind, she rested her glass down on the coffee table, stretching back and leaning her head on the back of the sofa. She kept her eyes open for a moment, staring at the light hanging above her head. It reminded her of the Congo, the sun beaming above, unrelenting. Her hand moved subconsciously to her stomach, her fingers finding the small bandages that now covered her wounds through her shirt.
She thought back to that day, seeing Kim leaning over her, her hands pressed firmly into Kerry's stomach. She could feel the soft tears falling on her own face and there was only one thing that bothered her; not that she was dying but that after all this time, she was still hurting Kim.
"Kerry?" A soft voice had called out to her in her sleep, opening her eyes gently. She had expected to see Kim's face at the foot of her bed, worry etched on the blonde woman's face but instead she saw Gillian standing over her, taking her pulse from her wrist. "Are you awake?"
"Hmmm…" Was all she could muster at that moment, her eyes rolling to the French woman.
"It's okay, take it easy. You've been hurt, but you're fine now." Gillian explained lowering Kerry's pale arm, careful not to interfere with the IV.
"Kim." Kerry asked hoarsely, her throat painful. "Is she…"
"She's fine Kerry, exhausted but fine." Gillian gave the weak woman a small smile, nodding over to the sleeping blonde curled up in the chair beside her.
Watching the woman sleep, Kerry smiled to herself, wincing only at the throbbing in her side. She looked down at the bandages around her stomach, the first signs of blood beginning to soak through. "What happened?" She reached out a hand, gingerly touching the bandages. "Was it bad?"
"It could have been worse. Two, through and through almost. One nicked your liver but all in a days work." Gillian reached out and adjusted the drip in her IV, studying the slowly flowing liquid.
"Were you there?"
Gillian stared back at the red head, "Operating?" Kerry nodded gently in response. "Yes I was there."
"And Kim?"
Pausing a moment as if not sure how much to say, Gillian replied, "All the time. She held your hand through everything."
Kerry closed her eyes, not quite sure what to do with that information. Opening them quickly, she looked at Gillian, panic in her eyes, "She didn't-"
"No," Gillian cut her off abruptly, anticipating the question. "I couldn't let her. You don't usually stick your hands inside your girlfriend's stomach until at least the second date right? Is that how you Americans do it?" Gillian lightened the moment, her eyes twinkling. She laughed at the relief on Kerry's face and the smile that followed.
They both remained silent, watching Kim in the chair beside them. She stirred gently, turning herself over then resuming her deep sleep.
"Thank you," Kerry finally spoke, lifting her arm up and gripping Gillian's hand lightly, squeezing the fingers.
"You would have done the same for me-" Gillian began only to be cut off by Kerry this time.
"I meant for everything. All the help and guidance, for saving my life and for looking after her." Kerry's eyes fell on Kim once more, her eyes beginning to shut slowly.
"You're very lucky Kerry, not many people get another chance like this."
She opened he eyes careful not to burn her retina's out on the light above. Squinting and looking around, Kerry's eyes fell on the clock on the wall. It had been nearly an hour and feeling quite refreshed, she went to sit up, holding her stomach as she moved. Pulling her hand away she felt a dampness on her finger tips and looking down, she could see the red stains on her blouse and skin. Sighing heavily, she stood up, using the crutch beside her for support. She made her way towards the stairs, keeping her footsteps light as to not wake Henry up.
When she made it to the large en suite, she carefully unbuttoned her shirt, leaning against the counter behind her. Hissing as she began to peel off the bandages, she closed her eyes, not wanting to see the blood on her stomach. Over the years she had grown accustomed to the sight of blood and organs but seeing her own; glimpsing her own mortality was too much. She placed the bandages on the floor, careful to tuck them behind the door for the moment in case Henry found her in here after another nightmare.
Reaching out to the towel rack, she pulled one off and pressed it to her stomach firmly, mopping up the blood. At that moment the doorbell rang downstairs, startling Kerry. Swearing under her breath, she entered her bedroom, towel pressed to her stomach and blouse open. Peeking out of the doorway first as not to come across her son, Kerry snuck down the stairs as quietly as she could, juggling the crutch and towel.
The bell rang again, louder now as she stood in front of the door. Dropping the towel to the ground beside the door. Kerry hastily buttoned her blouse up, slightly crooked but enough to cover herself. Opening the door, Kerry stepped back, her eyes taking in the blonde woman on her doorstep.
"Can I come in?" Kim asked, her eyes studying the redhead's eyes then falling to the blouse. "Oh, I'm sorry, am I interrupting-"
"No, not at all." Kerry answered hurriedly, knowing what Kim must have been thinking. "Please come in." She stepped back, allowing the tall woman past. Once inside, she shut the door, her eyes never leaving Kim in front of her. "Wow, you're here." Was all she could say and she chided herself at how obvious that must have sounded.
Kim lowered her backpack to the floor, noticing the towel with smears of blood,. "Oh my God Kerry are you ok?" She stepped forwards, instinctively moving towards the smaller woman.
"Yes I'm fine, just some bleeding. Was trying to sort it when the bell rang," Kerry smiled at the concern on Kim's face as she reached down and picked up the towel awkwardly, leaning against the wall. "Really Kim, I'm fine." She undone her buttons once again, pressing the towel to her stomach.
"You're not ok Kerry, let's get you cleaned up." Kim moved forwards, wrapping an arm around Kerry's waist and the other holding the towel, allowing Kerry to walk easier.
"I just need some fresh bandages-"
"And to get cleaned up, you're starting to get blood on your pants." Kim chided her half serious, reminded of the many 'arguments' the two had had. She helped Kerry up the stairs and with Kerry's directions, into the en suite once more. Kim left her against the counter as she filled the sink with lukewarm water and grabbing a flannel off the side. "Now tell me if this hurts ok." She soaked the flannel then wrung it out before pressing it against Kerry's skin, wiping away the blood gently. "Is this ok?"
Kerry watched the woman in front of her, seeing her own blood beginning to dot onto Kim's hands. "You know we haven't even had a second date yet." Kerry remarked, smiling at the conversation she had had with Gillian.
"What?" Kim looked up, a confused smile on her own face. "Is this pressure ok?" She repeated, continuing her work.
"It's fine." Kerry replied, "And it's not important."
"It is important though Kerry because it sounded like you were asking me out on a date." Kim studied the wounds in front of her, picking up a clean towel from the side and patting dry the area.
"And what would you say if I was?" Kerry shot back, feeling a rush of adrenaline in her stomach as Kim looked up at her, holding her stare easily.
Kim stood back for a moment before rummaging in the cupboards beneath the sink, pulling out a fresh plaster and bandage. Ignoring the question and the growing look of worry on Kerry's face, Kim began to wrap the bandage around Kerry, standing up and circling her arms around the red head, fastening it tight. She felt Kerry's breath on her collarbone and she smiled, knowing she wouldn't be able to keep up the game for much longer.
"I would say that sounds wonderful." She whispered into Kerry's ear, laughing at the exhale from the small woman beneath her. She kissed her forehead, letting her lips linger there for a moment before pulling away, her own question now.
"And what if I said I didn't want to go back to San Francisco?"
Kerry stood back, studying the woman in front of her and all of a sudden she could see the insecurities in the normally stoic blue eyes. She wasn't going to play games now. "I would ask you to stay." She thought back to the night in Doc Magoo's where she had uttered the same words, begging the psychiatrist to stay not only for that night, but in her life.
Moving forwards quickly, Kim found herself pressed up against Kerry, her hands cupping her cheeks and bringing Kerry's lips up to her own.