Author's Note: This chapter is based on a scene from a "Family Guy" episode, when Peter bought a horse.

P.S.: Gilbo's 7, and Lui's 3.

Chapter 10: Brain-Damaged Horse

Claus Beilschmidt walked in the door on a sunny afternoon, and was met by his wife.

"Claus, where have you been?" Elise asked. "You left for the market 6 hours ago. Did you get the beans?"

"Elise, I got something better," said Claus. "You know how you always wanted a real diamond engagement ring?"

"Oh my God!" Elise said happily.

"That's right, I bought a horse!" said Claus, opening the door to reveal a horse with a stupid look on its face.

Just then, Gilbert, Ludwig, Roderich and Germania came in.

"Uncle…" said Roderich, pointing at the horse. "What the heck is that horse doing here?"

"You bought a horse?" Elise asked, the ridicule showing in her voice. "Why the hell-? I didn't even give you that much money!"

"That's what I thought, Ellie," said Claus.

Flashback.

Claus was at an auction in Kentucky.

"Sold, to the gentleman from Brooklyn, New York!" said the auctioneer, banging his gavel on the podium. Claus went up to the stage to get the horse.

The auctioneer shook Claus' hand and said, "So, what bring you down here, sir?"

"I don't know," Claus said with a smile.

End flashback.

"Claus, there's something off about that horse," said Elise.

"Well, I've got an eye for animals, Elise," said Claus. "This horse is brain damaged; that's why I got it so cheap."

Just then, the horse banged its head into the wall and fell down.

"Claus, son, I don't think it's wise having a brain damaged horse in the house," said Germania.

"Shut up!" said Claus. "You don't know nothing. About anything."

"This is just like when you were 10 and you brought home that bull," Germania muttered under his breath.

"Whatever, Claus, I don't care," Elise said. "Keep the horse."

"That's better," said Claus. "This family works better when we're unified. You'll see. This horse will be a fine addition to our family." He picked the horse up, but then it urinated all over the carpet!

"You know what?" said Claus. "I don't want him to feel self-conscious. Everybody pee."

"But Daddy, I don't have to-" Gilbert said, but was cut off by his father.

"Everybody pee…now," Claus commanded.

"We're an unusual family," Ludwig said.

Later that day, the family was sitting down to dinner, and the horse was staring at them.

"Claus, the horse is here," said Elise. "God, it's so creepy, the way it just stares like that. Why doesn't it do something?"

The horse then moved right behind Roderich and sniffed his hair. Gilbert and Ludwig were sitting next to him.

"Uh…the horse is right behind me, isn't it?" Roderich asked nervously.

Gilbert then got an idea. He took out a sugar cube. "Hey, horsey," he said. "Want a sugar cube?"

"Gilbo, don't," Ludwig said.

"Here," Gilbert said, and put the sugar cube on Roderich's head.

Roderich had a disgusted look on his face as the horse put its mouth on the 16-year-old's head and started to lick the sugar cube. "Gah!" he cried. "Get this horse off me!"