Sorry the title is SOO unoriginal. And if 15 is slow coming it's because my dad just passed from cancer and I am very busy till the funeral next Saturday.
I own nothing that I didn't own last chapter.
To my surprise, Tim came inside with me when we got to the Curtis house.
"Hey, guys, Liz around?" He asked, coming in the door behind me.
"Nope." Two-Bit answered.
"You seen her?" Steve asked Tim.
"Yeah, till 'bout an hour ago. She stormed out and took off."
"What did you guys do?" Darry asked.
"Not sure, really. She just spent most of the day with us and then Ty started asking her questions and she got upset and left." Tim answered.
"What kind of questions?" Soda asked.
"Just what she had been doing when I found her and why she was walking alone."
"I don't see why that would bother her." Steve said.
I sat down beside Pony and he rolled his eyes. "Because Tori hates it when people, aside from her brother, try to protect her and that's what Ty was doing."
"So, that would cause her to storm out?" Two-Bit asked.
"That and everything else that's been going on." Johnny answered.
"Hello?" Darry said picking up the ringing phone. "Yeah, he's in the doorway. You want to talk to him?" After a short pause he handed the phone to Tim. "It's Chuck."
"What's up?" Tim asked. "She's doing what?...You told him that?...So she'll definitely be there...I guess that's a good thing...Yeah, thanks." Then he hung up. "Chuck said Liz is down at Buck's for now training, but Buck might get her to bartend and dance tonight to get her mind off things." Tim explained. "Anyone know where Winston is?"
"Out of town, Tator didn't say where just that he left and he'll be back in a few days." Two-Bit answered.
"When was that?" Tim asked.
"Sunday morning, before the sun was up." Steve answered.
"How come you didn't tell me this, Emma?" Tim asked, turning to me.
"I assumed you already knew." I shrugged. I was surprised he didn't know; he was a gang leader, after all. He does a poor job of leading a gang if he doesn't even know what's going on with people in the neighborhood. That was something I was taught at the same time Kevin started my self-defense and fighting lessons, when I was about 7 or 8.
"Yeah, okay – that's fine, I guess." Tim shrugged and left.
Pony and I sat and talked about random stuff for a while until, later that night, Two-Bit sighed heavily. "As much fun as this is I'm gonna go see if there's a party or free beer or something. Soda, Steve, anyone want to come?" He said.
"I don't know, you think Toria will mind?" Steve asked.
"Well, we'll drop by Buck's and see if she does." Steve stood, as did Soda.
"Can I go, Darry?" Soda asked.
"Be careful, Soda." Darry warned and the three of them left.
Johnny went home for a bit and Darry made dinner for himself, Pony and me.
After supper, Pony wrapped up a couple pieces of chocolate cake and shoved some change in his pocket with the wrapped up cake. "Hey, Em, wanna go for a walk?" He asked in front of Darry, and gave me a look when he asked.
I smirked. "Sure." I knew where we were going – judging from the look – so I ran to get my sweater, and shoved some change in my pocket, too.
After we were down the street enough that Darry wouldn't be able to see us anymore, Pony pulled out a smoke and was going to light it when he realized he didn't have a lighter.
I handed him mine.
He looked up at me in surprise. "You don't carry cigarettes, but you carry a lighter?"
"In New York, it's about the same as carrying a blade." I shrugged and took my lighter back when he finished with it.
Pony laughed after taking a puff of his cigarette. "So what? You just flick it out in a fight and burn someone?"
Wow, this kid is ignorant "Uh… yeah." I said. "But also if you're out at night in a park, under the bridge, or in a warehouse then you'll need to light a fire for warmth… Some people threw parties down by the river, too, and there aren't any lights down there. That's why they use that spot – no cops come by there, ever." I laughed a bit. "I guess that's why it's so dangerous and Thomas forbade me from going there till I was 11 or 12."
Pony just looked at me with an incredulous look as he smoked his cancer stick. When he finished, he dropped it on the ground and put it out. I shook my head. Wow, Tulsa really isn't dangerous enough; it's almost like he has no brains, he needs to live a little.
"Wow, your life was screwed up." Pony said in disbelief.
"No, my lifeis hard; and its not any worse than other New York City kids' lives, I've seen so much worse in kids so much younger than I was when I started."
"Started what?"
"Everything… joined the gang, learned fighting and self-defense, had my first cigarette, first fight, first rumble… Started living the New York City life, started becoming a part of my neighborhood."
"Gang? Fighting, rumbles?"
"Yeah, so? You have a gang." I snapped. "You've fought – and don't tell me you haven't or don't because you'd be a liar. You've been in rumbles, I know you have – so what's the difference with me doing it inNew York City?"
Pony looked at me shocked, then a little embarrassed. "None, I guess I'm just…"
"Shocked. Yeah, I get that reaction a lot." I rolled my eyes. "That's mainly why I quit telling people about stuff – my life, family situation…"
"Yeah." Pony nodded,finallyunderstanding. We walked in silence till we got to a store, then we went in, split up and went to buy what we wanted.
When we left the convenience store, Pony handed me the coca-cola he'd bought me, and opened the Pepsi he bought himself.
I pulled out the licorice I had bought and offered him some, also handing him one of the chocolate bars I bought. Then I pulled out my real loot.
Ponyboy's eyes bulged as he saw all the stuff in my hands, a tube of mascara and some cover-up makeup, cat treats, a pack of cigarettes, bobby pins; and also the box of tampons in my back pocket he didn't know about, though. "You stole all that?"
My jaw dropped. "Don't tell me you've never swiped anything before." I shook my head. Here we go, again.
Pony shook his head fast. "No, no. I have. I just meant – how did you get out with all that stuff?"
I shrugged and bit off some licorice. "I bought the stuff I could afford, and stole the stuff I needed but couldn't afford." I put one of the bobby pins in my hair to pull a portion of my bangs out of my face, and then put the stuff back. "Because I bought some stuff, they thought I was an honest person. They always do. Well – at least those who don't know me and haven't heard about me."
Pony nodded. "Why the cigarettes now? You never bothered to buy them before, and I've only ever seen you smoke once."
"The novelty, I guess." I shrugged.
When we got to the spot in the woods, we dumped all our stuff on the grass and Pony pulled out the chocolate cake.
I immediately yanked off my shoes and socks, rolled up my pant legs, and waded out a bit into the stream. The water was much warmer than I expected and I soon found that I was going in past where my jeans were rolled up and they were getting wet.
"What are you doing?" Pony laughed. "You're going to be cold if you're wet."
"Oh well!" I laughed and tossed my sweater on the ground beside Pony and dove in and swam around in the surprisingly clean water.
Pony just shook his head and watched from shore, eating chocolate cake and finishing his Pepsi.
When I came out the sun had already begun to set and I was a little cold, so I pulled on my sweater and collected up my stuff so we could go up to the bridge.
A few trucks passed over the bridge before we could get across to the side of the two-lane overpass to watch the sunset.
We had missed most of the sunset because of my dip in the stream and I had started to shiver a bit. Pony put his jacket around me again.
"You know, in New York, moments like this are so very rare I can only remember a few in my lifetime." I said as I put my arms in his jacket and wrapped it tight around myself.
"You mean watching the sunset?"
"No, well, yes. I mean moments to myself – where nothing really matters. The next upcoming rumble doesn't matter, my reputation is nothing, and gang turf is meaningless."
"You know, at first I was kind of shocked at your life in New York, but it's not much different than Dally or Toria's here in Tulsa. You just handle it better, I think."
"You really think so?" I looked up into his striking green eyes.
"Sure." He nodded, looking at me now. "Dally let it harden him to the point where he is so cold he has a hard time showing his feelings, and I don't even think it's possible for him to cry. He doesn't care either."
I raised my eyebrows, but he continued.
"And Toria is finding that she is having a hard time staying soft and sweet since she came to Tulsa, and that she is toughening up, too. She's fighting it." He paused for a moment. "But you, you're different. You're kind and sweet here in Tulsa, almost innocent. Then I hear how you lived in NYC and how tough you were there and how you act, and I realize that you just know how to put limits on how hard you become, or what feelings you show where and when. I love that; I just wish you could show Tore and Dal how to do that."
I smiled. "Thank-you." If only he knew. How dumb is he that he fell for this act? It's not like I'm a great actress…
We sat there for a few moments looking at each other before Pony spoke up. "You have pretty eyes."
That woke me up. "What?
"You're blue eyes are so gorgeous."
I made a face. "I hate them. They're so cold and icy. I like Toria's so much more."
Pony shook his head ferociously. "Not at all. They're not cold; but warm, and soft." He studied them closer. "There's something else, too – but I can't pinpoint what it is. Something mysterious."
I blushed a bit. Hesitantly, I looked down, "Nobody's ever told me my eyes are pretty," I almost whispered. "I've only heard cold, icy, even dangerous."
"You've got to be kidding me. I've never seen eyes like yours. So, so…"
"Unpleasantly discomforting?" I offered, looking up with slightly tear-clouded eyes.
"No." Pony insisted. "Interesting. So, mysterious, andintriguing. The first moment I saw you your eyes pulled me in with their deep mystery, their striking beauty."
Striking? Beautiful? Intriguing! My eyes had always been a sore point in my life. John left Mom because I wasn't his; because my hair wasn't like his or my mom's family and my eyes were blue. See, my mother had brown eyes, as did John. My Nana had blue eyes, but 'Not like hers,' as John had said. I think the main reason that particular comment stuck with me was because I heard it the only time that John and Mom fought; the night before John left with Tyler – when I was five. Five year olds remember that stuff.
"Emma?" Pony asked, looking up at me and snapping me out of my newly confused thoughts.
"Yes?" I asked softly.
"Would you, do you…" He sighed, closed his eyes, and started again when he opened them. "Do you want to go to a movie with me tomorrow night?" He finally got the courage to say, and then looked me in the eyes bravely. I nodded, and a few spare tears leaked from my eyes as I smiled.
He sighed with relief. "Hey, don't cry." He wiped my tears gently, without even smudging my mascara – which I had 'borrowed, without permission' from Victoria – and hugged me.
I squeezed him tight, and my brain, which a moment before had been fogged with confusion and mixed – but strong – emotions, was taken over by my heart and an overwhelming feeling of excitement, and the wonderful sense of love.
The walk home I smiled the whole way, pure excitement pumping through my veins – I didn't know how I could make it all the way till tomorrow night – but also Pony walked with his arm around me to keep me warm until we were just down the street from home.
Luckily, walking home dried me off enough that when we got home Darry didn't realize I was, or even had been, wet.
When we walked in the house I noticed Johnny was back and Darry and him were just sitting quietly and reading. Well, Darry was looking at the bills again, and Johnny was looking through some magazine.
The house was dead silent and Darry looked up hearing the door open and close.
"Long walk." He said, smirking slightly. I could feel a hot blush creeping into my cheeks.He knows, he must know. Does anyone else know? Was it that obvious?
Pony shrugged. "It was a nice night."
Darry nodded and went back to reading through the bills. Pony sat down with Johnny and started reading an article to Johnny because he had difficulty with it and preferred to be read to.
I sat down on the other end of the couch and watched Darry as he stressed over the bills. After a while he, sighed heavily and rubbed his forehead, dropping the bill he was looking at onto his lap and closing his eyes.
I cocked my head, and then hopped up and snatched the bill from him.
Darry's eyes snapped open and I jumped back, dangling the bill in front of him, just out of reach, like a piece a meat – a huge grin spread across my face.
"You want it? You're going to have to come get it." I teased.
Darry shook his head slowly and smirked. "I don't want it."
I laughed. "But you need it."
"Yeah, unfortunately I do have to pay it." Darry sighed again. "Come on, give it over."
"Nu-uh!" I shook my head. "I'm serious. You want, come get it."
"Aw, come on, Emma, just give me it."
I shook my head and waved the paper in the air, teasing him still – I was so not giving up on this. He was stressed and needed a break. No one else was going to give it to him and he wasn't going to on his own, so I had to do it myself. I'd make him be the kid he practically still was. He would have to work for the damned stupid bill.
I cocked an eyebrow then he sighed and jumped up and tried to snatch the paper from me but I was already in the dining room, on the other side of the table. He stood across the table from me and I laughed and turned and raced into the kitchen. Glancing quickly behind me, I saw he wasn't following, so I stopped dead and looked down at the bill. My jaw dropped. It was the water bill. $90.
Suddenly someone grabbed me from behind, picking me up by my waist. I screamed, caught off guard.
Darry laughed. "Who's got what now, little lady?" He carried me back into the living room and took the paper from me, then set me down on my feet again.
"I could help pay it." I offered quietly, turning to face Darry. "And take less, shorter, cooler showers." I added quickly.
Darry smiled and tucked the bills all back in their envelopes. "Thank-you, but no." He shook his head. "Enough stress for tonight." He put the bills away and came back to sit down in his chair again.
I sat down beside Pony on the couch and peeked over his shoulder to listen in to what he was reading.
I giggled when I saw what they were reading, the comics. "Ooo, my favorite part of the newspaper!" I exclaimed. "Well, besides the police report section of the NYC paper; it was fun to count how many guys from my gang were named each day."
"So, Emma, how are you and Pony getting along?" Darry asked with a smirk.
Pony and Johnny both looked up now.
"Uhm… Good…" I looked over at Pony, and he just motioned for me to go ahead. "We're going to a movie tomorrow night."
"Very good." Darry smiled, and when Pony went back to the funnies, Darry winked at me. I winked back and smiled.
Johnny raised his eyebrows suggestively at me and I stuck my tongue out at him.
A while later Soda, Steve and Two-bit walked in with Toria. Her face was red and tear-stained and she was shaking slightly, clinging tightly to Two-bit.
Darry stood up, knowing immediately, as I did, that something was terribly wrong.
"Soda, can you go put her to bed?" Steve asked.
"Steve." Toria cried.
"Baby, don't worry, Soda will stay with you until we sort things out I promise." Steve said.
Tore looked up at Two-Bit who just nodded. "We'll be right out here. Holler if you need anything, and I mean anything." He told her. She nodded and walked to Steve.
"I love you." She said kissing his cheek.
Steve gave her a gentle hug and kissed her forehead. "I love you too, Toria." He said. Slowly, Soda and Victoria made their way back to our room.
"Darry, you might want to sit down." Steve said taking a seat on the couch himself, Pony, Johnny and I having moved to the floor to read the paper shortly before everyone came in.
Darry sat down slowly looking between Steve and Two-Bit. "Well..."
"Hey, Steve, did you ever find out who that girl was?" Two-Bit asked Steve.
"No, but it might have been Toria, Tim did say that Buck was going to try to talk her into dancing and bartending tonight." Steve answered unsure.
"Guys, what happened?" Darry asked hesitantly, though I could detect a slight hint of urgency in his voice.
"Well, we went to the party and all, and there was this girl dancing on the bar and we looked everywhere but we couldn't find Toria." Steve started.
"So we met back at the bar and talked for a bit before I headed off to find a girl or a poker game and a while later I see this guy come down the stairs slightly shaking. I didn't think much of it until he mentioned something to Angel." Two-Bit added.
"While he was off doing that, Soda and I were talking to a kid named Todd. We were just talking when a girl barreled down the stairs in her panties and socks, ran straight towards me and wrapped her arms around my waist. I didn't know it was Toria until Soda told me to turn her around so no one could see her." Steve continued.
Steve was cut off when the front door swung open and Dally walked in leaning heavily on Tim. "What happened to you?" Darry asked as Tim deposited Dally in an armchair.
"Fight." Tim answered.
"Can't you just stay out of trouble?" Johnny asked.
"Don't worry about it, kid, I'm fine." Dally answered, wincing.
"What happened to the other guy?" Pony piped up. I just sat and watched everyone, though my mind was mostly concentrating on what Steve had just said.'…in her panties and socks, panties and socks…' Over and over in my head.
"It was more than one fight." Tim said. "The first guy who gave him the bruised ribs and black eye will be laid up in his house for the next three to four weeks, even longer if Steve get's a hold of him. The rest of his bruises are from the Socs we ran into on the way here."
"Did the first guy actually do something?" Darry asked.
"Yeah, and he's a right bastard." Dally answered.
"Dallas." Darry reprimanded.
"The fucker tried to rape my little sister." Dally growled. Rape. I shuddered, nasty thoughts and images starting to fester in my mind.
"I gathered that much from Steve." Darry replied.
"Where is Liz?" Dally asked.
"Her room, I think, with Soda." Darry answered.
"You think?" Dally spat.
"I think she's in her room, but I know she's with Soda." Darry answered.
"What's been going on while I've been gone?" Dally asked, suddenly changing the subject. Wait – when did he get back anyways?
"Not much really, just business as usual." Tim answered.
"Go get me a couple ice packs kid." Dally said, turning to Pony.
"Darry!" Victoria screamed suddenly. "Darry!"
"Go." Tim urged.
"Darry, Steve, you had better come here." Soda called. They both walked down the hall.
"So want to tell me what really happened while I was gone?" Dally asked when Steve and Darry left.
"Like I said, nothing much, Liz's been in a few fights with Brumley boys, but she won't stay in to avoid them." Tim answered.
"Any change in her behavior?" Dally inquired.
"She seems tired of the fights, but she won't stay out of them." Two-Bit answered as Pony brought Dally his ice packs.
"Tim, your gang's allied with them isn't there something you can do?" Dally asked placing one ice pack over his eye and the other between his back and the chair. Pony sat back down and he the look he gave me was about the same as I had given him, fear, confusion…
"I'll try to get a hold of their leader, Nathan Smith, but you'll have to give me a few days." Tim answered. "The only thing we can do right now is stick with her and try not to leave her by herself so much. I see no other options and I'm not making her leave Tulsa. "Nathan Smith. Huh. Well that saves me the trouble of finding out his name. Hm… I don't remember any guys named Nathan, but then again… That was years ago…I can't name everybody I met then … Can I?
Just then Darry walked out with an arm around a crying Victoria followed by Steve and Soda. "Hey, Baby, what's wrong?" Tim asked. Dally sat up and looked at her the best he could with one eye.
"Lizzie Beth, are you alright?" He asked.
"He's there, every time he's just there." Victoria whimpered.
"Oh, Baby, you know he can't hurt you here." Tim said glancing over at Dally who made no move to say or do anything. Tim sighed and walked across the room taking Victoria into his arms. He started whispering reassuring and comforting words to her but it only made her cry more.
She was seriously sobbing now, and I was more than a little pissed at Dally for not doing anything about it. His little sister was bawling her heart out, probably terrified out of her mind, and if I knew anything, probably in some pain also – and he wasn't doing a damned thing.
Finally, Tim shook his head and picked Tore up, giving her back to Darry who took her back down the hall.
"And you blame me for not protecting her." Tim spat when Darry disappeared. "How could you just sit there and do nothing! Do you know how often we've seen her cry? She was bawling her eyes out and you just sat there like it was nothing."
"It wasn't nothing, Shepard. You don't know what you're talking about." Dally said.
"Damn it, Dallas, I know exactly what I'm talking about. Tore was almost raped today because an asshole didn't think you were in town. Ever since her parents died you promised you wouldn't let her get hurt and look what happened. That's not protecting her, Dallas, that's turning your back on her. Wait – so she wasn't raped, but almost… Well I guess that's just as bad, but that's also a bit of a relief.
"Did it ever occur to you that I'm in so much pain right now it hurts to breathe?" Dally snapped.
"I don't give a damn if you came back shot up from war or hell itself when our little sister bawls like that you get up off your damn ass, say to hell with your pride and make her stop bawling. She would go to the end of the Earth for you Dallas and you're supposed to do the same." Tim shouted.
"Victoria just fell asleep you idiots, stop shouting. I don't care if any of you stay the night but you had better not wake her up." Darry snapped, coming back into the living room. "Shepard, you staying?" Tim nodded. "Dallas, you alright?"
"Considering I just got chewed out for not being able to move, yeah I'm fine." Darry walked over and pulled him up before helping him lie on the couch.
"Don't strain yourself. Guys, there are blankets at the foot of the couch if you're staying. Pony, Soda, Emma, time for bed. The rest of you don't stay up too late."
"Darry, where's Toria?" Steve asked.
"My room. I'm not letting her sleep alone tonight and you're built too much like the jerk. She'll freak if she can't feel the difference."
"How do you know?" Two-Bit asked.
"I went to school with Mitch's brother." Darry answered before disappearing again.
Soda and Pony got up to go to bed, and I followed them after looking over at Dally who seemed to already be asleep.
When we got down the hall, Pony stopped by my door as Soda went on to their room. I think Soda understood Pony and I.
"You okay, Em?" Pony whispered.
I nodded, my eyes tearing up. "I don't think Tore is, though." He agreed and gave me a hug; saying goodnight and going off to bed with a bit of a sulk. Probably feeling bad about Tori.
When I went into my room and closed the door behind me I felt terrible, and tears were already flowing freely down my face.
My mood tonight had gone from annoyed, to happy, to confused, then spiked up to pure adrenaline excitement, and then plummeted down to worry and now almost downright depression.
The events of the last hour, since Toria came home, had gotten me thinking and brought up some memories and emotions that I had rather kept buried –deep. But now they were uncovered, and my tears were only pulling more bad memories and thoughts to the surface. I really tried hard to keep them buried but it seemed as though I was unable to.
Changing into pajamas through my tears, I then crawled under the covers and let down my barricade and allowed all my memories and emotions overflow.
The fact that Dally didn't do anything about Toria crying made me think about Thomas and how he left so soon after… well, that. And now I was starting to, for the first time, really miss T.T. and feel less angry at him for leaving me so soon after. Just more lonely and abandoned.
Then, I started to feel guilty at the fact that I was feeling sorry for myself when the awful thing had happened to Toria tonight.
But my anger towards myself only made me cry more and I had to shove my face into my pillow to muffle my sobs.
'Oh would you suck it up and stop being such a damned baby when your sister was just about raped tonight!' A voice in my head screamed at me.'Why've you been such a big baby lately? You're a New York hood for heavens sake! A gang leader!'
'But I'm still just a kid and sometimes kids cry.' I argued back.
'Kid or not, pull yourself together and toughen up – you're sister is not going to be in good shape tomorrow and you need to be in better shape for her. So quit your bawling, go to sleep and put that damned brick wall up again if it's the only way you can bury your rabid emotions!'
I obeyed the voice and surrendered to sleep, but the brick wall took more work build building. I was plagued with nightmares most of the night; some were about me, but many about Toria, too. By the time morning rolled around I had managed to rebuild that brick wall and was starting to feel sorry for Tori again, as I should have been the whole time.