Author's Note: Part of this chapter references the "You can't say "fuck" in school" scene from the South Park movie.

Gilbo's 6 and Lui's 2.

P.S.: Viktor=Bulgaria and Gabriel=Holland (or Netherlands, whichever you want to call him). Maria=Antonio's mom, Amanda=Francis' mom, Mila=Viktor's mom, and Hanne=Gabriel's mom.

Chapter 13: Gilbert Curses

It was a day just like any other day at Hetalia Elementary School. Gilbert and his friends, Francis and Antonio, were being noisy in class, just like the rest of the kids, until the teacher, Mr. Shu, came in.

"Alright, kids, settle down," said Mr. Shu as he went up to the blackboard. "Let's start the day off with a few new math problems." The teacher then started to write on the board. "What is 5+6?"

Nobody answered.

"Come on children, don't be shy," said Mr. Shu. "Just give it your best shot." He then turned to a kid with dark brown hair who was holding a stuffed panda. The boy had his hand raised. "Yes, Yao?" said Mr. Shu.

"100, aru?" said Yao.

"Okay, now let's get an answer from someone who's not a complete idiot," said Mr. Shu. "Anyone? Come on now, don't be shy."

"I think I know the answer, Monsieur Shu," Francis said, raising his hand.

"'I think I know the answer, Monsieur Shu,'" said Viktor, mimicking Francis.

"Hey, shut up, stupid!" said Francis.

"Hey! Don't call me stupid, you fucking Frenchy!" Viktor yelled back.

"Viktor, did you just say the "F" word?" said Mr. Shu.

"Frenchy?" asked Viktor, obviously confused.

"No, he's talking about fuck!" said Francis. "You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking pumpkinhead!"

"Francis!" said Mr. Shu.

"Why the fuck not?" said Viktor.

"Viktor!" said Mr. Shu.

"Dude, you just said "fuck" again," said Antonio.

"Antonio!" said Mr. Shu.

"Fuck," said Gabriel.

"Gabriel!" said Mr. Shu.

"What's the big deal? It's not hurting anybody. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck," Viktor said as he rolled his eyes at the teacher.

"How would you all like to see the school counselor?" yelled Mr. Shu, and pointed to the door.

"How would you like to suck my balls?" Gilbert retorted and stuck his tongue out at Mr. Shu.

The rest of the kids in the classroom gasped.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Mr. Shu yelled at the Prussian.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," said Gilbert. He then pulled a megaphone out of his Power Rangers backpack. "Actually, what I said was…*ahem*…How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Shu?"

Mr. Shu stared at Gilbert in anger.

"Mierda santa, amigo," said Antonio.

Later, Gilbert, Francis, Antonio, Viktor, and Gabriel were all sitting in the school counselor's office.

"Now I must say I'm very disappointed in you boys," said Mr. McCoy, who was the counselor. "You should be ashamed of yourselves. I've already called your mothers and-"

"You called ma maman?" a now scared Francis said.

"Yes," said Mr. McCoy.

"Oh no, mes amis!" Francis said to Gilbert and Antonio.

"Shit, shit, shit, shitty shit, shiiiiiiit!" said Gabriel.

"Mr. McCoy, can I ask a question?" Viktor spoke up.

"Sure," said Mr. McCoy.

"What's the big fucking deal, bitch?" said Viktor.

"Yeah!" the other four boys said.

"GAH!" said Mr. McCoy. "Now I want to know where you heard this kind of language!"

"Uh…nowhere," said Antonio.

"Uh, we heard them from Monsieur Shu a few times before," said Francis.

"Kids, I seriously doubt that Mr. Shu ever said…" Mr. McCoy paused as he looked at the sheet of paper before him. He then continued, "…'go fuck a goat, you motherfucking asswipe'."

The boys all laughed when Mr. McCoy read their words out loud.

"Sweet," said Viktor.

Just then, the boys' mothers came in, Elise carrying little Ludwig.

"Uh-oh," Antonio said nervously.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice," said Mr. McCoy.

"This just isn't like you, Tony," said an angry Maria.

"What did my son say, Mr. McCoy?" asked Amanda. "Did he say the "S" word?"

"No, it was worse than that," said Mr. McCoy.

"The "F" word?" said Amanda.

"Here's just a short list of the things they've been saying," Mr. McCoy said as he handed the mothers a list.

"Caro Dio!" said Maria.

"What the hell…?" Elise said while covering Ludwig's eyes so he wouldn't be able to see what was written on the paper, as he could now read a little.

"Mo…ther…fuc…ker…Motherfucker," Ludwig said excitedly, uncovering his eyes and pointing at the obscene word on the paper.

"Lui, no," said Elise. "That's a very, very bad word."

"What's motherfucker?" Ludwig asked. But Elise didn't answer him.

"Francis Edmond Bonnefoy, you will tell Mr. McCoy where you heard all these horrible phrases right now!" said Amanda.

"Uh…." said Francis.

"We can't tell you," said Antonio. "We all took a sacred oath and swore ourselves to secrecy.

"It was Mr. Pancreas, our dads' boss," said Viktor.

"Viktor!" Antonio yelled at the Bulgarian.

"What?" said Viktor. "Fuck you people; I just wanna get outta here."

The five mothers then took their kids home after talking to Mr. McCoy.

At the Beilschmidt house, Ludwig was still cursing.

"Motherfucker!" the 2-year-old said, pointing to his grandfather. "Go fuck a goat."

"What the-?" Germania said, very surprised. "Ellie, where did Lui hear this?"

"At Gilbert's school," said Elise. "Lui, no cookies before dinner, honey."

"I want a cookie now, motherfucker!" Ludwig now said to his mother in a whiny voice.

"Lui, stop saying that," said Elise. "I told you that's a bad word."

"Gilbert, you're in soooo much trouble," Roderich said while playing the piano in the den.

"Shut the hell up, Roderich!" shouted Gilbert. "Go fuck a goat!"

"Auntie, Gilbert's cursing again!" Roderich called to Elise.

"Why don't you go fuck your piano, too, you scheißekopf?" Gilbert said to his cousin.

"Auntie!" Roderich yelled again.

"Gilbert Wilhelm Beilschmidt, if you don't stop, no cartoons tonight!" Elise said to her oldest son.

"Sorry," Gilbert mumbled.

Later that day, Claus came in through the door, and Gilbert and Ludwig ran up to him, and Roderich came out from playing his piano.

"Hi, Daddy!" Gilbert said happily.

"Hey, Uncle," said Roderich.

"Hi, motherfucker," Ludwig said in the same happy tone as Gilbert when Claus picked him up.

"L…Lui…" Claus said in astonishment. "Where did you hear that?"

"From Gilbert and his friends at their school, who heard it from your boss the last time you took Gilbo to work with you," Elise said, her hands on her hips.

"Mr. Pancreas?" Claus said. "Ah, geez."

"Mr. Pancreas should go fuck a goat," Gilbert said.

"Gilbert!" said Elise. "Stop saying that."

"'M sorry, Mommy," Gilbert said quietly.

"Claus," said Elise, "if you don't talk to Mr. Pancreas about his language tomorrow, I will personally go down to where you work, and I will kick that man's sorry butt."

"Okay, okay, I'll talk to him tomorrow," Claus said, not wanting tomorrow to end with his wife kicking his boss' butt, which would get Elise-and him-in trouble.

Author's Note: Mierda santa- Holy shit (Spanish)

ma maman- my mom (French)

Caro Dio! - Dear God! (Italian)

scheißekopf- shithead (German)