A/N: I just realized that I hardly included Zetsu in any of these! Oh, Zetsu-chan, I hope I can be forgiven!
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Zetsu was staring at a raw steak.
"Hmmm," his white side observed. "It does need to be marinated a bit more."
"On the other hand," his black side argued. "Steak is best eaten in it's natural state."
"But," the white side added. "The flavor of the marinara would contrast nicely with the tenderness of the meat."
"However," the black side maintained. "The marinara's sweetness might counteract the sage and parsley seasoning."
His white side frowned. "Hey, I never agreed to parsley!"
His black side scowled. "But we already agreed to sage! Sage tastes best with parsley, every idiot knows that!"
Suddenly, Itachi walked into the kitchen. "Hn," he muttered to himself.
Both of Zetsu's sides burst into laughter. "Haw haw haw! Itachi's talking to himself!"