Author's Note: This chapter is a parody of the "Friends" episode, "The One with Phoebe's Birthday Dinner".

P.S.: This chapter also features a 4-year-old Gilbo and a little baby Lui!

Enjoy ^_^

Chapter 17: Toddler Locked Out, Baby Locked In

Claus and Elise had just come home from a night at a nice restaurant. They got out of the car, and as they went towards the house, they saw Gilbert standing outside in his footed pajamas.

"Gilbo, what are you doing outside, honey?" Elise asked.

"I went outside for a second to play with Francis and Tony, and then they went back home, and I can't open the door," Gilbert answered his mother.

"Oh no," Elise said worriedly. She tried opening the door, but it was locked. "Claus, the door's locked!"

"Where's Grandpa?" Claus asked Gilbert.

"He went to help Rome get Lovi to stop headbutting Tony," said Gilbert.

"Maybe my sister can let us in," Claus said, and then walked away. Nobody answered at the Edelstein's house, so he tried Rome's house.

A few minutes later, Claus came back from making calls and told his wife, "Okay, well, my sister and her husband aren't home right now."

"No!" said Elise.

"Oh-oh, wait, my dad'll be here any minute," Claus said hopefully. "And he has the keys."

"Alright, I can't, I can't wait that long!" Elise said nervously. "You have to do something…knock that door down!"

"I would, but I bruise like a peach," said Claus. "Besides, you know, everything's gonna be fine. Lui's sleeping."

"Yeah, Mommy," said Gilbert.

"What if he jumped out of the basinet?" Elise asked, still very nervous.

"Can't hold his own head up, but yeah, jump out," Claus said sarcastically.

"Oh my God, I left the water running," said Elise.

"No, Ellie, you did not leave the water running," said Claus. "Please, just pull yourself together, okay?"

"Mommy, calm down," said Gilbert.

"Ah, did I leave the stove on?" asked Elise.

"No," said Gilbert.

"You haven't cooked since 1983," Claus said in an annoyed tone.

"Is the window open?" Elise asked nervously. "Because if there's a window open, a bird could fly in there."

"Chill out, Mommy," said Gilbert, getting scared of Elise now.

Claus decided to mess with his wife a little. "Oh my God, you know what, yeah, I think you're right," he said. "I think…Listen, listen!"

"Huh?" said Elise as she, Claus and Gilbert put their ears to the door.

"What's going on?" Gilbert asked; he didn't know that his dad was just messing around.

"A pigeon, a pigeon," said Claus. "No, no wait, no, no, an eagle flew in! Landed on the stove and CAUGHT FIRE! The baby, seeing this, jumps across the house to the mighty bird's aid! The eagle, however, misconstrues this as an act of aggression and grabs Lui in its talons."

All of what Claus was saying was starting to scare little Gilbert even more.

"Meanwhile, the faucet fills the house with water," Claus continued. "Baby and bird, still ablaze, are locked in a death grip, swirling around in the whirlpool that fills the house!"

"Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that's true," said Elise.

Half an hour later, Germania showed up with the keys and unlocked the door, letting himself, Claus, Elise and Gilbert inside.

"Grandpa, you're late," Gilbert said.

"Sorry, Gilbo," said Germania.

When Elise turned on the lights, she and the rest of the family saw a bunch of German guys sitting in their living room, drinking beer. Some of them were playing "Hot Potato" with baby Ludwig!

"Give me my baby," Elise said angrily as she snatched Ludwig out of one of the guy's arms.

"Get out of our house," Claus said, glaring at the men. He, Germania and Elise then threw all the guys out of their house and locked the door.

"Look at them run away, bunch of scaredy cats," said a laughing Gilbert.

"Okay, Gilbo, time for bed," Elise said as she and Claus carried Gilbert and Ludwig to their rooms for the night.

When Elise turned the light on in the baby's room, she was surprised to see a bunch of cats just meowing and sitting there! She then left the room, still holding Ludwig, and went to Gilbert's room to talk to her husband.

"Mommy?" said Gilbert.

"Claus, there's a bunch of cats in Lui's room," said a very, very confused Elise.

"Must be the Karpusi's cats," said Claus. He then went to the kitchen and dialed the number to Leonidas and Athena Karpusi's house.

After a few minutes, someone answered.

"Hello?" asked a very sleepy (actually, perpetually sleepy) 7-year-old Heracles.

"Hi, Heracles," said Claus. "Are your mom and dad home?"

"Yeah," Heracles replied. He then left Claus on hold while going to get his parents.

"Hello?" said an equally perpetually sleepy Leonidas.

"Hey, Leo," said Claus. "I think your cats are over here. They're all over Lui's room."

"Okay, Athena and I'll come over and get them," Leonidas said with a yawn.

"Thanks," said Claus. He then hung up the phone and went back to Elise and the kids.

Minutes later, Leonidas and Athena came over with their son.

'Geez, the whole family's sleepy,' thought Elise as she looked at the sleepy trio.

"Okay, where are the cats again?" asked Athena.

"They're in Lui's room, Mommy," said Heracles.

"I'll show you where it is," said Claus. He led the Karpusis to Ludwig's room, where the cats were still all over everything.

"Okay, guys, come on," said Leonidas.

"Come on, time to go," said Athena.

The cats didn't listen to either of them.

"Come on, kitties," said Heracles, getting out some cat food. "Time to go home now."

The cats complied happily and followed the boy out of the baby's room.

"They never listen to us," Leonidas said with surprise.

"Thanks again for getting those cats out," said Claus.

"No problem," Leonidas said and then tiredly stumbled back home and somehow made it through the door with his eyes closed.

Elise shook her head. "I'll never understand them," she said about the Greek family across the street from their house.

Claus and Elise then put Gilbert and Ludwig to bed…but not before four of the German guys from before grabbed Gilbert and played "Hot Potato" with the boy, using him as the potato!

"Get out!" Claus and Elise shouted and threw the guys out the window.

"Auf Wiedersehen!" Claus shouted angrily at the retreating figures.

"And stay out!" shouted Elise.

Author's Note: Now you know where Heracles gets his perpetual sleepiness, ha-ha ^_^

Reviews make those guys too scared to use Gilbo and Lui as potatoes in "Hot Potato" ^_^