Chapter 53

A Place for Everything, and Everything in it's...

I'd never thought it would really come to this. Fool that I am, I'd always held onto that boundless optimism, knowing beyond practicality that someone would come for us. Everything would be alright in the end.

But now, here, in this place, this place. The space in between life and death. A never ending void like limbo. I could no longer see, or feel. It was as if I was floating, suspended, eyes closed. All I could hear were sounds, vague, muffled, as if my ears were filled with foam.

I'd been here so long now, I wasn't even sure what I was anymore. Was I Ken? Was I Ran? What was the difference between the two? Where was the boundary? The resistance was becoming weaker and weaker, the two entities inside of me barely pushing against each other anymore. What would happen when they gave up? What would that mean?

To be one, to be whole again. It was too much, not too little, there was too much inside of me, too many people in my head. Would it be so very bad, if we were to merge together? I don't think I would mind at all.

Huh, maybe Ran would mind. I tried to smile but wasn't sure if it worked. Did I even have a mouth anymore?

No.

I don't think I do.

I.

I.

Who is I?

I saw him walking down the corridor and, despite the multitude of different places he could have been going, I knew what his destination was without having to think twice. I watched him, savouring the fact that he didn't know I was doing it, savouring the power I had over him, little that it was.

"You go near him," I almost laughed as he jumped, spinning around to glare at me, "and I'll fucking kill you Fujimiya."
"Well, that seems highly imprudent," he said back tonelessly, "considering the circumstances."
"Don't think for a second that would stop me," I said, feeling for one beautiful moment that I could kill him and have no remorse.
"I wouldn't," he said, surprising me slightly, "if I didn't know you better."
"Yeah, well maybe you need to take a closer look," I said, trying to sound as dangerous as I could.

He watched me warily for a moment, as if he might just continue to defy me.

"He doesn't want to see you," I lied, "you'll only make it worse for him. Why don't you just leave quietly as you were planning to do and save him any more of the suffering you've already put him through."

That got a reaction. He blanched visibly before he managed to put his blank mask into place. Yes, I thought, any mention of the betrayal you'll never be able to atone for, the purgatory you damned him to, that would be enough, I thought. He looked towards the door to Yoshitsuna's room, opened his mouth and then closed it. He hesitated, looking to me with what would probably pas for an imploring look on Fujimiya Ranmaru.

"Tell him I...I..." he swallowed tightly, looking away and shaking his head, "no, never mind. You won't tell him anyway, no matter what I say."
"How very astute of you," I said flippantly, feeling a surge of victory seeing his broken look.

Then he turned on his heel and walked back the way he had come, leaving me with a sour taste in my mouth. Fucking bastard. I don't need to feel sorry for you, not after everything you've done! I know what's best for Yoshitsuna, and he'll thank me one day. We don't need you, we never did.

"Seriously," Schuldich's drawl didn't have the force behind it that it usually did, "how much longer are you going to lie there pretending to be ill?"

In all honesty the statement was much more wearing simply because I was desperate to get out of this fucking hospital bed. My leg was healing nicely and, despite the damage done to the muscles and the blood loss, I would probably be okay to walk on a crutch. The branch thankfully hadn't been that thick and had passed through without too much damage. Still, however, he was here to rub my face in it.

"Believe me I'd be out of here if I could," I said back testily, glaring at the nurse as she checked my vitals and my bandage.

He didn't reply and I decided that I'd better look at him. I hid my reaction behind a neutral expression. He looked awful, and I don't mean long-night-awful I mean really-fucking-terrible. Thankfully his eye was cleaned and bandaged, hair tied back so it didn't look such a mess of blood and dirt as it had before, he'd even procured some clean clothes. Still, it wasn't his appearance that made him look like he'd died and been brought back, it was his face. He looked drawn, pale and lifeless. The pain of my wound and the horror of the things I'd witnessed had kind of taken precedence over thoughts concerning anyone else's situation, but now, seeing him like that...

"I'm sorry," I said, looking away towards the wall, "about Nagi."
"It's...that's..." his hesitation made me take notice more than his tone of voice; I looked up at him in confusion and the nurse coughed politely and left.

She shut the door behind her, leaving an awkward silence. Schuldich didn't say anything else, just sat in the seat beside my bed and looked at his hands. It was then that I realised just how normal it seemed that he was here at all, visiting me, and that freaked me out a little. Working together and empathy was one thing, enjoying someone's company was entirely another.

"Nagi's going to be fine," he sounded confused even as he said it, "apparently."
"What?" I asked in confusion, "But...what the hell are you talking about?"
"Fujimiya, he's got a plan," he shrugged, taking a long, deep breath in through his nose and letting it out slowly, "he's going to put everything right."
"You mean," I said, feeling a little sick at the reminder of Uesugi's resurrection ritual, "he's going to bring him back to life?"
"You betcha," Schuldich said, with little feeling behind it, "you'll get your team members back, and we'll get ours."

I couldn't help but sigh in relief to that. I'd been pushing it all down, keeping my emotions at bay while I focused on being calm, on staying alert and being dependable and reliable. But now, in the face of this small victory, on accomplishing something, it was enough to warrant at least a little reprieve.

"I don't want to know how he's doing this, do I," I wasn't a question, but Schuldich slumped back in his chair and answered me anyway.
"No," he said with a small, forced smile.
"Yeah, I thought not," I said back, feeling a hell of a lot better than I should at seeing some emotion on his face, "so, uh..."

He looked over at me as I hesitated, having to turn his head to watch me with his eye. I tried not to think about it and continued.

"Any more information about your, you know," I shifted, "father?"
"...No," he said in the same tone as he'd been using for everything else, "not that we've had any time to look into it. Your contacts here said, that red haired woman, she and Crawford talked, I guess their taking it as some sort of lead."
"Best that we've got," I shrugged, "might give us some sort of game plan. Whatever your father was dealing with will be what this Uesugi wants."
"I hope so," he said, sighing heavily, "because I don't really want to think about the alternative."
"What do you mean?" I frowned.

He looked down at his hands and took a deep breath. His eye was intense when he fixed me with another stare.

"He already has everything he wants," Schuldich said, "and now he's going to war."

"So how does this work?"

I knew I sounded like a broken record but there was so much I didn't understand and it was so very, very risky that I couldn't help it.

"I'm not going to explain it again," Fujimiya growled out, unusually tense.

Although I guess I couldn't really blame him, he'd had a pretty rough time of it. Brought back from the dead by his mortal enemy only to end up banishing himself back to that same fate voluntarily, all to save two people he'd never even met; and leaving his friends behind to fight alone. I swallowed and nodded, allowing myself to try and put my faith in him, allow myself to put Ran and Ken's fates in someone else's hands. It wasn't easy, let me tell you. I stared at the seemingly lifeless body of one of my closest friends, laid out as if already dead. This wasn't a plan, that was all that kept running around in my head, this wasn't a plan this was a best guess solution. Crawford and Manx were talking at the other side of the room, standing next to the corpse of the Schwartz teammate, Nagi. I swallowed again, trying to clear the itching in my throat. I was so absorbed that I didn't even hear the door open.

"Omi," I looked up in surprise, "you look shocked kid."
"Yoji-kun!" I couldn't help it, I ran to him.
"Whoa, steady," he said with a grimace as I hugged him tightly, "still a little sore here."
"Sorry," I said letting go slowly, noticing that he had a single crutch under one arm and that Schuldich was standing behind him, "come in, we're getting ready."

I wasn't too absorbed, however, to notice that Crawford cut his conversation short as soon as he noticed Schuldich and was at his side in an instant. The worrying thing was that Schuldich didn't really seem to react, just let Crawford lead him by the arm over to where Crawford had 'set up camp'. I noticed that Farfarello was also there, almost entirely out of sight in the corner. He was staring intently at Nagi, as if he could see something no one else could. I looked away, back to Fujimya who was setting some things out on a table, placing them delicately and precisely.

"Are you sure about this?" Yoji asked me as we approached the assassin, "I mean is this the sort of stuff we want to be messing with?"
"This might sound bad," I said wearily, "but right now, I don't care what it takes."

I turned round to look him square in the eyes. He looked down at me with sad understanding.

"I want them back," I said, "and I don't care how we do it."

I saw Yoji's eyes flick to Fujimiya, looking away quickly; he looked guilty. I nodded my head, breathing in deeply and letting it out. I knew, I knew what it meant, I knew that I was asking a lot by asking him to accept this.

That for our friends to survive, someone else had to die. Not that he was meant to be here, he'd stolen Ran's body, but...well, I didn't like it any more than Yoji did.

"Where are the others?" Yoji asked, "Yamagata and Yoshitsuna?"
"They..." I sighed, speaking in a hushed tone "they aren't going to be present. I don't really understand it all myself but, from what I can figure out there's some underlying tension. I don't think Yoshitsuna is happy about him leaving."

I saw Fujimiya's movements falter out the corner of my eye. He could obviously hear me and I felt another stab of guilt. I wouldn't change my mind, I wouldn't cast doubt on this, I wouldn't, I would do anything to get them back. It wasn't doubt I was feeling, it was anger, sheer anger for this Uesugi who could cause us to have to make this decision in the first place.

"We should begin as soon as possible," Fujimya said, interrupting my thoughts.

Everyone was focused on him instantly. He just looked back, tired but determined.

"I'm ready," he said, using his usual arrogance to cover up the barely discernable fear underlying it, "I need you all to get out of the room."
"What?" Crawford said harshly, "we're not going anywhere until..."
"We need to be here to make sure..." I started.
"You need all the help you can..." Yoji said.
"Oh just shut up, all of you!" Fujimya said harshly, his calm facade breaking to reveal the scowl underneath, "no one needs to be here except me! You're all just distractions and I'm going to need all the concentration I can get, understand me? Get the fuck out, now."

No one had an answer for him. We just stared. I think we were even more surprised when Schuldich was the first to react.

"Alright," he said tonelessly, "do what you have to."

Fujimiya nodded to him in thanks as he slowly walked from the room, leaving a lingering look with his friend. Crawford, lips tight with anger and frustration, barked an order at Farferello and the two followed Schuldich out. I looked to Fujimiya and wasn't sure what to say, to do, shouldn't I do something? This man, he was sacrificing everything, I...

"Thank you," was all I could say, feeling a little useless as I turned and herded Yoji out of the open door, followed closely by Manx.
"You might want to keep that door shut," he said to her as she was closing it, "no matter what happens."

She gave him a critical look, as if she wanted to say something, to argue, but ended instead with a tight nod and compliance. She locked the door securely behind us.

"There have been more reports of Uesugi from our operatives," she said to us once we were alone in the hall, "I'm leaving Greer with you to keep an eye on Fujimiya and this...procedure. I have to keep an eye on his movements. I'll let you know what's happening as soon as I know myself, alright?"
"Thank you Manx," I said, meaning it; she smiled at me, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder before she left.
"Don't worry," Yoji said, his arm going round my shoulders from behind as he steadied himself against me, "this is going to work."
"I wish I had your confidence," I said, feeling sick with myself that I was even thinking about this not ending well.
"Hey, I've seen this guy fight, he's strong," Yoji said seriously, "if anyone can pull this off, it's him."

I lifted my hand up over my chest to hold onto his hand that lay draped over my shoulder, squeezing it tightly. He squeezed back.

"Please," I whispered, not even sure who to, "please."

I watched through the reinforced glass as Fujimiya stood looking at the bodies before him, breathing slowly. He ran a shaking hand through his hair and lifted his head up, looking to the light in the ceiling, closing his eyes. Then back down. He turned and picked up what I realised was now the broken end of his sword and an old, mouldy looking scroll. He let the scroll open with one finger, allowing the dusty parchment to unravel haphazardly over the floor as he dropped it. With the broken sword, with no hesitation, he cut deeply into his palm and allowed his blood to drip over the parchment at his feet.

Then I heard it, running feet and a voice shouting.

"You can't go in there!"
"Ran!" I barely saw him move from the now open doorway at the end of the hallway to the glass covered door in front of us.

I stumbled back with Yoji as he slammed into the door, hands flat against it. I saw Greer draw his gun and point it at him, followed by another guard who had followed him in through the door at the halls entrance. Yoshitsuna didn't seem to pay them any attention. He frantically tried the door handle, finding it locked, letting out a cry of frustration as he slammed his hands against the glass and shouted again. I stared in shock, unsure what to do.

"Ranmanru! Don't you dare do this!" he slammed his hands against the glass again and I looked past him into the room, seeing Fujimiya staring at him.

I caught my breath.

"Kami, how can we ask him to do his?" I breathed out, hardly hearing Yoji's questioning reply.

I'd never seen him look so sad. Never, not our Ran. After his little sister's death he had never allowed himself to show emotion, I'd never had a chance to see him show sadness. He was always stoic, rigid, serious. But this...the look onf Fujimiya's face as he stared at the man banging defiantly on the glass bordered on broken. Slowly, as if in antithesis to Yoshitsuna's mania, he let the broken katana fall from his hand and walked towards the glass. Yoshitsuna didn't let up.

"I mean it Fujimiya, if you dare leave, I swear I'll find you and I'll haunt you forever, I swear, I swear..." his voice broke on the last word, swerving from angry frustration to sheer sorrow, wrenching into a sob.

I felt myself stifle a cry that I hadn't even realised had been building in my throat, my hand coming up to cover my mouth. Yoji pulled me closer but didn't say anything, instead turning to Greer as he holstered his weapon and moved in to restrain Yoshitsuna.

"Hey!" Greer turned to him in surprise, "leave him."
"Manx told me nothing should hinder this..." Greer said with a frown.
"Look, you know what's happening here," Yoji said angrily, "you know this is the last time he's gonna get to say goodbye."

Greer sighed harshly through his nose, looking as if he would ignore Yoji's request, but after a moments deliberation backed down, telling his colleague to back off. I looked back to Yoshitsuna and watched as Fujimiya reached the glass, his face open, nothing was hidden. I couldn't look away, even as he lifted his own hand, bloody and cut to place it against Yoshitsuna's, smearing the blood over the pale glass like a testament to his life, to prove he'd been alive, that he was there, that he was there.

"I still have to make you pay for all the things you've done to me," Yoshitsuna screamed, losing momentum as the anger seemed to bleed out of him, "damn you, all you've put me through, damn you! Don't you dare..!"

The blond man let his head drop forwards against the glass and after a moment Fujimiya mirrored the action. His mouth was moving but I couldn't hear him, trying to read his lips. I couldn't make it out, could only see that Yoshitsuna was crying but no sound escaped his lips either, silent tears. Then Fujimiya pushed back from the glass, repeating the silent words; Yoshitsuna was shaking his head.

"No, no," he kept saying, "please, don't..!"

Then Fujimiya mouthed something I couldn't mistake.

-I'm sorry- he said, and –I love you-

Then he placed his hands together and the force of the blast seemed to bleed through the wall and threw us all off our feet, sliding along the shiny floor in a heap of limbs.

I thought I could hear something.

No.

Guess not.

Maybe just...

...thought it was maybe me.

Who?

Me. Us. We...are you still there Ran?

Ken. Somebody's at the door...

I can hear it too.

Answer it.

I can't. I...I don't have the key.

Answer it.

Didn't you hear me? We. We're together in this. I can't.

Please!

What if something happens? We're safe here, I can be with you ,we, us, I...

Want to save you. Let me go!

I can't lose you!

LET ME GO!

Blinding light and then darkness. I saw it all at once and I screamed as glass shattered down onto me from above, bringing my arms up to cover my face. I turned onto my side and fell from wherever I'd been lying onto the floor. The pain was blindingly real, real...

real

I was...I was..!

"Ken?" I heard the voice, and then I felt a groping hand in the darkness, that took hold of my own, that wasn't inside of me it was-
"Ran? Is that you?" I coughed out, looking up to find him crouched on the floor in front of me, not inside me, not where I couldn't see him, in front of me.
"It's me," he said, helping me up onto my knees, "it's me."

I reached out and my fingers touched his cheek, feeling stubble and sweat and oh god, it was real, this was real! I fell forwards into his arms and let out a choked sob of sheer relief, more than I had even felt before in my life. He was pressed against me and I could feel him against my skin, through the clothes on my body, my own body. It was over, god it was over.

"We're alright," I said a little hysterically as I pulled him as close to me as I could, "we're alright, oh god!"
"Ken, it's alright," he said, sounding more shocked than anything, his hands running up and down my back, "we're alright."

Then there was a sound of coughing from above me and I heard groaning, then there was light and people were pouring into the room and I couldn't handle everything at once. I buried my head in Ran's shoulder and promptly passed out.

An: I am so sorry for the year long wait for this, but I finally did it! I tell you, honestly, I've been writing this chapter since last year, it's had so many changes it's not even funny anymore! Especially sorry to Gillian Sillis as I kept promising an update and never came through on it, I hope you're still reading and like this update! I will finish this story! I hope it's come out well and isn't too, too anti climactic. I was trying for a dramatic ending and hopefully that has worked!

Ok, back to work I guess! Please leave a review if you have time.

Maiko