Everyone calls it bad, he says it's good. My opinion means nothing, I'm on the fence. I can't say it's either one. I have no opinion.

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"Wow you look so different you've filled out!"

Lips at the junction of her neck and shoulder her hands buried in his hair gripping tightly.

"You look the same though, maybe a little fatter."

"Asshole!"

"What? You've got a big ass, sorry to be the first one to tell you!"

Hands on her hips, gripping too tightly, they'll leave bruises.

"What are those?"

"Penny candies. Ivan gave them to me."

"Let me get one."

"Get your own!"

Lips on hers, softer then she imagined. A tongue swipes the slit of her lips, her mouth opened, a hot tongue enters her mouth gliding over hers sensuously. She tastes like penny candies, like warm summers and lemonade. She tastes like his childhood.

"So, how did you take it when Francis said he loved you but just not that way?"

"Oh I never told. I've decided to waste away forever all by myself in one-sided love."

"If you tell you might give you pity sex."

"Would you?"

The bed is soft she notes. It smells like fabric softener, wurst and Cool Water cologne. It's soft, plush and comfortable. Her shirt is unbuttoned, slides down her arms and is discarded to the floor. His arms, his rough hands glide over her belly and her sides then begin to pull away the black skirt and panties with some difficulty so she lifts her hips and helps remove them.

"I would."

"You shouldn't say that."

"Why not? Giving you false hope that Francis will say yes?"

"You don't wanna know."

Their clothes are gone and she's seeing him in a way she never imagined.

He's grown up but he's still lithe with very fine powerful muscle and he's rough, the body of a man who works hard. Her eyes lower taking in his pectorals, his powerful arms at either side of her head, his hard washboard stomach and finally the ash blond silvery pubic hair where he rigidly stands at attention the tip pink.

His hand lowers, fingers tracing her soft belly up to her breasts and then down again. His knuckles brush against the soft mound of downy hair tickling her. He lowers himself onto her and gives her a hot open mouth kiss.

"Why? Who is it you're so in love with?"

"I'm not telling."

"Stop being an idiot."

"I'm too awesome to be an idiot!"

His hands grasp her thighs, opening her legs wider and instinctively she wraps them around his waist and moans into his mouth as the very tip of him rubs against her.

"You."

"What?"

"I was going to drive to your place and tell you. Damnit don't look at me like that ok, it isn't so hard to understand. I love you Beta, I always have. That very first day I saw you, hell, even before that. When I looked at Mrs. Hedervary's albums and I saw you I just knew it was you, I was waiting for you."

"Is that why Roderich kept secrets from me, did he know?"

"Of course he did the stupid aristocrat. Like I would dream of trying to steal you away from my cousin I might be a bastard but I'm not as bad as he thinks."

He forces his way with one great thrust and it's almost painful. Almost. It's been a long time since Roderich has touched her and when he has he's always too gentle too sweet too careful. His hands are too smooth his scent is almost too flowery and his voice is almost like a song.

She doesn't feel guilty about thinking that, not at all. Roderich is too boring in bed, he always had been.

"Gilbert I..."

"Don't. I don't think I could take it if you rejected me. Let's just pretend like I never said it."

"Gilbert lets go to your place. I don't think a diner is the best place to talk about this."

"Sure. It's not far away."

He had sat her in his lap, her head against his shoulder raining kisses onto his shoulder her arms hugged him tightly. They moved together, breathed together.

"B-beta..."

Say it, she thought, say my name again.

"Beta..."

The world turned black around her, stars exploded behind her closed eyelids her breath caught and then she screamed. He took her face in his hands and kissed her, kissed her like she were the air to breathe as though there was nothing else in the world that mattered except her lips.

And then Gilbert came.

"So this is your place?"

"Yeah."

"So you love me?"

"I do...damn it this is so not fucking awesome, I'm blushing!"

"Gilbert?"

"What, damn it?"

"Kiss me."

"What?"

They lay side by side. Her eyes take in the pink flush of his face and the swell of his lips from their kissing. Her hand reaches up and traces his cheek. He catches her hand and kisses her palm making her giggle. She leans into him snuggling against his warmth.

"Hi."

"Hey." Gilbert says. His arms glide around her, hugging her tightly to him. "So, how was it?"

"That's not nice to ask." She says sleepily.

"Awesome doesn't have to be nice."

She lifts her head and stares into his red eyes. She sees the boy that very first day. She kisses his lips.

"Beta."

She falls asleep in his arms. She hasn't felt this satisfied in years.

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