"Queen Buffy..."
Summary: The Immortal is a true showman...And has spared no effort or expense...
A little fun cobbled from my various IB brainstormings and a certain film...
Archived at the 'normal' Buffyverse page of the Buffy Rebecca verse, . or direct to story at
.
Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...
Part IX...
Downtown Hell...
"Ladies, gentlemen, and everything else…Is this the Day?...Is there time to run?...Time to hide?...I'm standing here in the midst of a scene of epic pandemonium…" a more or less human reporter spoke into his 30s-style large standing microphone…50s-style TV camera trained on him…
"Good evening Mr and Mrs Hell, from border to border and coast to coast and all the ships at sea…" a large crusty-skinned tobacco-stain colored demon in shirt and tie, hat pushed back, spoke facing his camera crew…
"Oh, the Demonity…!" another, a short purple imp with a tuft of red hair carefully coiffed, sobbed to her camera…Waving to indicate the panicky crowd rushing past…
"Friends, the liberals…" a large, pig-snouted, bald creature in suit and tie addressing his camera…
"Karen, don't you think as a result of these tragic events Hell's Congress should show the courage of our savagely violent volunteer militias on the dimensional border and pass legislation to keep these filthy illegal uncondemned human immigrants and their traitorous relations from being smuggled into our beloved Hell to ruin our economy?…" another large human in suit facing camera to his female human colleague…
"Yes, Lou…I think as a result of these tragic events Congress should show the courage of our savagely…" the woman nodded dutifully…
"It's an even madder house out there than usual…" General Droog shook his head as the car bearing him, Denham, several demon aides, and Irina made its rushing way through or in some cases, over, the fleeing crowd…Several vehicles carrying the rest of the Immortal's surviving staff...And a number of deceased condemned, newly restored to duty at Denham's request...With cameras rolling, following…
"Yeah, isn't it incredible?..." Denham beamed… "Irina, make sure we get copies of all the TV footage those guys out there are doing…"
"Right, sir…"
For the sake of history…he noted to the frowning Droog…Hmmn…Yes…
"Your Benevolence, about your plan…" the demon general began, politely…
You mean the new crazy one to surrender to the Slayer…Or the old insane one to bring her and William here?…Irina thought…
"Yeah, Droog?..."
"Well, sir…I mean…Surrendering yourself to the Slayer?..."
"We don't exactly seem to have many other options to bring her out, Droog…Unless you got something?..."
"Couldn't we just let her go?..." Irina suggested… "All she wants is William after all…If we opened the portal and showed her the way…"
"She'd never trust it without a hostage…A valuable one…" Denham, hurriedly…Avoiding her suspicious frown...
Like I buy this...
Droog bearing a similar expression...
"Ok, ok, I'm not really surrendering myself...Exactly..." Denham began...
Noting that their presence as the only souled vampire and one of the few living human beings in the, even for Hell, extremely dead intercity zone, was sure to be detected, William had suggested the only safe course to which Buffy had reluctantly...Very reluctantly...Agreed...A retreat to the stagnant waters of the Styx...A dip in whose dead and putrid waters which was at least sure to mask Buffy's living essence...And allow him to blend in better scentwise as well...
Well, after all she'd been through so far, it couldn't get much worse...
Or could it?...
"Phffffff..." she gasped, poking head above water once again... "Oh, God...Will?...Isn't this enough yet?...We must stink like six months old fish by now..."
Will?...She looked round...
Uh-oh...She dived back down...Silence descending over the black, fetid waters...
A sudden roar as a huge winged river serpent rose up and moved toward the river bank...Involuntarily, it quickly appeared...Thrashing head, wings, and tail feverishly and, in the open air, held several feet above the water, uselessly...
"Cough him up, you..." Buffy, standing in muck by the river's edge, holding the creature up from below, scanned over its length intently...Oh...
"...Bitch...!"
The serpent raging rather futilely... "You heard me...!" Buffy shook it wildly, pulling up Mr. Pointy from her soaked, slime, muck, and gore-covered pants' pocket...
Oh-oh...The serpent looked round, flexing over...
"No?...Fine!..." she shoved the stake into the belly carefully after feeling a moment...Tearing it open as the creature groaned and thrashed and, with barely an instant's hesitation...Stuck her head in...
"William?...You ok in there?...Come on, honey..." she sank a hand into the now nearly defunct serpent and pulling, slowly, then more rapidly yanked out a battered-looking Will, hair plastered down and covered in gore and muck...He fell into the river and Buffy tossed the feebly writhing creature onto the nearer bank of the river...Grabbing and feeling for Will in the dark waters...Pulling him up...
"You ok, hon?..." she asked anxiously...He put up a hand...Gasping a bit...
"Fortunately..." he grinned at her... "That one had no real teeth after the grabbing fangs..."
He stared at her...Head covered in oozing goo now to add to the general disarray...
"What?..." she stared back...Wiping a bit from both cheeks...
"You've never been lovelier...Queen Buffy..." he smiled...Kissing her cheek...
"Aw...William..." she beamed...
"Ok...Where's my sign?...Is that my sign?..." Denham fumed, craning head at the large billboard rising on the Osama Tower, Hell's nearly completed...Though never to be completed, this being Hell...Tallest structure... "Hell Surrenders to Buffy and Offers Carl Denham as Tribute..."
Several die-hard fanatics of deceased human and of demon variety attempting from windows to shoot or by climbing up, to toss, from the tower the demons at work on attaching the sign and the portal emitter, a large series of white metal rings, forming a slight cone, to a flat area of roof, just below the final thrust of unfinished tower...
After all...Hell Surrenders?...A bit much to stomach for your patriotic Hell dweller who'd ended up here by dint of violent fanaticism...
Droog's troops picking them off...Literally, by means of the flying monkey corps...The work proceeded apace...
Denham frowned, watching..."You can't see that thing for more than half a block...How's she supposed to find it?...And it doesn't even mention the portal escape route..."
Screams as several more fanatics were machine-gunned off the building by diving biplanes...Several workers likewise shot or shaken from their grip on the building's sides...
"We need another billboard...Larger, lighted..." Irina spoke into her headphone from where she stood next to Denham...
"And something a little more dignified, please...For her, I mean..." Denham hastily noted... "She deserves her full title..."
Carl Denham being enough for me...he noted...Attempt at unassuming look...Irina, a withering stare, relaying...
"'Buffy the Vampire Slayer Counselor General''s a bit long, for them, sir..." she noted after a moment's listening...
"Oh?...Well, keep it short and sweet...The way I did for the show...'Queen Buffy'..." he said, nodding...Yeah...
"'Hell offers Carl Denham as Tribute to Queen Buffy'..."
And in abject surrender he still manages to steal the show...Irina frowned, again relaying...
"How could they do something like this...?" the First snorted angrily...Colin sighing as he stumbled along at her side...
"Take a car from a nearly helpless Champ of Evil and her cute little adopted boy!..." she kicked at the ground...Hmmn...Probably not the best course in a land of brimstone and occasional streams of lava only barely covered up by our city pavement...She eyed her destroyed shoes...
Well, this is Hell and the former thieves and murderer guys who stopped us and took our car were behaving pretty much in thief and murderer character...Colin noted...To himself...
Mommy First seeming a wee bit perturbed to piss off right now with a clever riposte...
Cute, eh?...Colin beamed...
"And you...You little..." she glared at Colin... "Why didn't you hold them off while I got away?...Or at least look cute and tasty enough to let me run for it while they either tortured you slow or the demon ones ate you...?"
"Sorry...But, ma'am...You didn't tell me to..."
She paused, eyeing him...
"What, suddenly I'm not Mommie anymore?..." she asked, looking a bit downcast...
"Sorry, Mommie dearest..." Colin patted her hand...
"Your own mother curses you as a spawn of Hell and wishes you'd never been allowed to crawl from her womb, you know..." she smiled maliciously at him...
Well, natch...Colin thought...I'm her kid's demon...I'd be a little shocked if the bitch preferred me over my innocent soul...Though the 'crawl from her womb' thing...A bit much...
"But Mommie First loves you..." she patted his head...
Bipolar too...He sighed...Gee, I guess I really lucked out on the adoption thing, eh?...
An sudden explosion nearby...
Time to be on our merry hoofing way...Colin thought...
"Lets get the here outta here..." the First suggested... "C'mon...Pick up your feet, you little $#%4!..."
Hmmn...Maybe those idiots Nast, Mears, and the Mayor had an idea with the reformation thing at that...He peered down the street behind them...
Nope no true Buffy copy of adopted Mommie comin' our way as yet...
"And mind the lava flows, honey..." she noted...Benevolently beaming at him...
The completed sign now up and running, visible even to the edge of the city area where Will and Buffy cautiously made their way...Will gallantly helping her over some giant gnarled tree roots...After they'd killed the giant gnarled tree demon owners of the roots trying to intercept them...
"Holy crap..." Buffy stared at Denham's colossal sign on Hell's highest tower building...Offering surrender and escape...
"Jesus..." William stared...The ground beneath him heaving and buckling at the word...
"Apologies, mate..." he eyed the reproachful-looking ground... "Forgot where I was..."
Buffy stared at the ground, then him...Then shook her head...
Right, Hell...Normal laws of nature by default need not apply...
Though really...Can't see why Angel always grouses about my leaving him stuck here that time...The place is really not as bad as his gloomy brooding all that time when I met him after my resurrection suggested...
"First time one of them's ever had enough brains to offer terms...I gotta give him that...It's a trap, of course..." she noted...
"No doubt about it..." William agreed...
"He's pretty damned miserable and stingy about it too...I'd at least try to make the surrender thing a little plausible..." Buffy frowned... "A secret offer to meet, phony promises of safe exit made at the rendezvous...A invite to dinner, maybe..."
"Probably figured out we didn't have the time for that right now..." William noted... "So we are going, right?..."
"No way to get round it..." Buffy shrugged... "Still, no reason to just walk into the building by the front entrance and get taken right away..." she tried to finger-comb a little more goo from her hair...God, I hope there's a store or something on the way...Will's a dear but I do not wanna be photographed like this... "How's a bit of climbing sound to you?...We head up, find his office or wherever he is, put the grab on, and with him in tow..."
"You really think he's stupid enough to be up there?..." William eyed the building and the sign above it...
"He's there or close by...He'd never miss a chance to film this one..." Buffy noted...
"Queen Buffy..."
Summary: The Immortal is a true showman...And has spared no effort or
expense...
A little fun cobbled from my various IB brainstormings and a certain
film...
Archived at the 'normal' Buffyverse page of the Buffy Rebecca
verse, . or direct to story at
.
Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon,
Mutant Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire
Slayer series...
Part X...
A quarter way up Hell's mammoth Osama Tower...On the low-rent side facing the river Styx...
"Buffy, this is humiliating to say the least..." William noted from where she held him tight with one arm at her side... "I can climb you know...And I'm completely resistant to bullets...Metal ones, anyway...Mostly..."
"Shut up, you're hurt and I'm not losin' you now...I'm fine..."
"At least let me cover you in case their security spots us...Bullets can hurt you..."
She pondered...Nodded, shifting him from her side to her back...
"Just hold on tight..." she called, resuming her climb...
"Till death do us part..." he replied...
"$%#$ that...We Addams/Summers-Walthrops kick Death's ass for breakfast..." she replied...
"There's no doubt about, sir...She's been spotted climbing the Osama Tower..." Droog informed an anxious Denham awaiting report... "About 37 floors up, by last report...But on the wrong side of the building...My marksmen in the other buildings can't get a shot at her..."
"Well, are the planes comin' or no?..."
"We're refueling the ones already at the field and have more biplanes on the way, Mr. Denham..." Droog nodded...
"Biplanes...?"
"Afraid we're a little behind Earth technologically..." Droog sighed... "But we've still got those of our marsupial winged fighters who survived their encounter on Earth as well..."
"Oh...The monkey boys?...Now they might have a chance...Did that big fellow leading them back on Earth make it?..."
"Commander Koog is leading them, yes..."
"Ah...Great...Irina, are our helicopters from Earth are all fueled and set?..."
"The guys are just loading them, sir...Sir, are you sure you...?"
"Irina?...Would I ever send my people to do anything I wouldn't myself...Lets go...Thanks, General..."
"Sir..." the demon leader nodded...
"Hurry..." he hissed to Irina outside... "We gotta be there first...I want everything in position..."
"She's gonna kill you if she sees you there, sir..." Irina sighed...
Us, I should say...
"Of course but we'll keep outta her way...On the sidelines...She'll be a little too busy to go hunting us, I'd say..."
Roll of eyes...
"Fine...If you want to stay behind, I understand...I'll be ok..."
"Uh-huh..."
"I'm off...Which way is it, general?..." he turned to the demon commander... "Your cab is waiting to take you to the field, sir...Ming?..." the commander waved to an aide...
"Right, great...Well, Irina..." he looked at her set face... "Just have the fellas follow my chopper...It'll be fine..."
Longer roll of eyes...
"Ah, come on...Haven't some of us, well...Ok, just me, always come through?...Besides you know I gotta be there..." he went to the door...Waiting...
Irina standing, watching...Arms folded, sour look...
"Irina...Are you gonna let yourself miss the greatest romantic finale in film history?... "
"Yours, sir?..."
"Aw, Irina..."
"Sir, the copters are waiting..." Droog reported...
"Yeah...All right, then...Goodbye, Irina...And if I don't make it back...Save the footage..."
"Yeah...Boss, what are you doing?..." she gasped as he came to her, embraced and bent her over and kissed her, hard on the lips...The demon commander blinking at both...He released her...
"I'll miss you, I..." he patted her shoulder as she stared at him... "See Cheryl back at the office on Earth about filing a harassment form...You oughta be able to clean up from my estate if Droog here can take human form on Earth to testify...Droog, see she gets back to Earth ok..."
"Mr. Denham?..." Irina choked out...
"Yes, sir...And I'd be happy to testify on her behalf..." Droog nodded...
"Make sure you have a good TV feed, guys...Cause this is gonna be spectacular..." he grinned and headed out the door following Ming the aide...
Irina, hesitating only a moment, hurrying after him...
"She following us?..." Dedham hissed to Ming... "Yes, sir..." "Great..." he beamed...
Sixtieth floor of the Osama Tower...
"Denham?...Carl Denham?..." Buffy called to a group of...Whatever the quivering masses of whatever they were made of were...Through the smashed floor to ceiling glass pane... "Anyone know if he's around?..."
"I think his office is on the 115th floor..." one called back to her...Gelatinous protrusion in form of a finger, pointing up...
"It would be..." sigh... "Thanks..." she nodded...
"I'm fine, don't worry..." she replied to Will's anxious query... "Just fifty more floors and a whole lot more in the I owe you Pain account for one Mr. D..."
"Say, what's that noise..." she turned her head... "Honey?...Can you see...?"
Uh-oh...Will looked behind him...
"Best to hurry, dear...Airplanes, I think..."
"Geesh..." she groaned... "I might've known...Hey!...I'd keep well inside and head for the elevators down if I were you guys!..." she called inside...
"Speaking of elevators, sweetheart..." Will suggested...
Denham nervously drummed fingers...Scanning round from his seat in the helicopter next to Irina, trying to get a better look at the dark nooks and crannies of the river-facing side of the Osama Tower as spotlights from his and the other copters played over the building...Nearby a film crew in a second copter and a back-up team in a third...
Biplanes and flying monkeys making occasional passes...
But not a sign of their target...
"Maybe the reports were wrong..." Irina noted... "She might have had the brains to know you were conning her and she's waiting on the ground to catch up with you later..."
"Conning her?..." Denham turned...A shocked look on his features... "Is that what you think?...Iri, I'm hurt...I never lie to an opponent, let alone to someone on my payroll, even if I might kidnap her boyfriend, gas her, put her on display in Hell, and she's determined to kill me...That's not the kind of guy the Immortal is...Geesh, Iri..." he shook head...
"Sorry, sir..." she rolled eyes... "Might I ask then...If we're not conning her...What the hell the planes and monkey boys and marksmen are for...?"
"Well...We gotta have some leverage here...She's the Slayer...Besides, look at this spectacle..." he beamed...Leaning forward...Hey...Then sighing back...Nah...Just some dragon poking around...
'Where the heck is she?..." he frowned... "This is costing me a fortune in overtime...And the union is gonna have a fit about flying my crews in unapproved choppers if their Hell rep comes snooping around...Which this being Hell..."
"Well?..." Will smiled as they stepped out of the elevator on the 115th floor...
A tad easier on you than climbing another fifty stories, eh?...
"Always thinking of me...That's why I love you, baby..." Buffy grinned, kissing him... "But when we get home, I'm cookin' you the biggest anniversary/birthday dinner you ever saw...Fairy cake for dessert and everything..."
"My favorite...Thanks...Cicely..." he smiled...
"Think I'd forget...?" she noted archly...
The building trembled a bit at a large explosion below them...They eyed each other...
"Not a planted bomb or the whole place would be on its way down...Missile I think..." Will noted...
"I'd say dear ole Carl was trying to speed us up..." she frowned... "Well, lets see if he's in his office with fifty goons waiting for us..." she started...Then paused...
"After you, honey..."
"Thanks, love..." he smiled gratefully... "But I'm not counting on 19th century behavior from you in this relationship, I hope you know..."
"Alarm, sir...From your office..." Irina reported, pulling headphones off...
"Well, I'll be damned...How'd they get up there without us spying them?..." Denham shook his head... "Just take the elevator?...Well, head us up there...And have Droog hold off the assault till we're in position..."
"Assault?..." she eyed him, pickup the headphones...
"Just a little leverage, Iri...Leverage..." he patted her arm...Pulling microphone to his lips... "People, places...!...This is going to be the big one!..."
"So where is Mr. Denham?..." Buffy frowned at the nervous secretary seated at her desk outside Denham's now shattered Hell office door as Will looked round the inner office...Said secretary, a blonde-haired, three-eyed, gum-chewing green-skinned creature eyeing them both...
"I think he said he'd be tied up on the roof when he stopped by..." the secretary noted... "Though I don't know if he meant working...Or literally tied up...Sorry..."
"Thanks..." Buffy sighed... "Will, lets try up there...He's either flying around the place or he's up there setting up camera angles..."
"I think you can call it a night..." she told the secretary...Who beamed gratefully and grabbed for a bag in her desk drawer...
If the Slayer herself says it's time to knock off...
"Shall we?..." Buffy turned to Will...Who nodded...
But first...He pulled up a bottle of fine old Scotch taken from the Immortal's enormous desk...And two paper cups from a nearby water cooler...
"May as well as have a toast before we play our final scene in this demented maniac's little epic..." he noted... "To us, Mrs. W...And our daughter and son..."
She grinned...Taking the bottle and gulping a chug down before he could hand her a cup...
"You know I'm beginning to remember that I used to rather enjoy a pint or glass or two with you back in 1880..." she smiled at him...
"Of course...We lay off the hard stuff when we're home...I mean around Dawn and Will Jr for sure..." she noted, handing him the bottle...Looking round the office...Ah, just what I was looking for...She beamed at the large sofa...He nodding... Of course, dear...
Another dull thud of an explosion, the building visibly swaying...
"He's impatient, that's for sure..." Will looked out the office window...
"Let him the hell wait..." she grabbed at Will... And pulled him over to the sofa...
"What do you mean...They're still in the office..." Denham fumed... "Are you sure...?"
"The alarm sensors keep going off and Droog reports he now has heat sensitive tracking backing that up...They're still there..."
"What the here are they doing in my office for what...?" he stared at his watch... "Twenty-five minutes...?"
Irina eyed him coolly...
"No..." he blinked at her... "You don't think?...Dear God..." he sighed... "If only I'd thought to have a camera stationed in there..."
"But we can cut in a scene...I could have Idol and that Gellar girl stand in for them...They're already slated to do the other scenes we'll need to round things out..."
"Why don't you just ask the Walthrops to do it on a set?..." Irina grumbled...
"Iri..."
"You realize this is sure to end with no film and you dead...For good...The mortal...The End..." she eyed him...
"No film?..." he frowned... "Bite your tongue...Either you or Ken or Roy will finish it for me if I don't make it...As for yours truly...A small price to pay for great Art..."
"Roy died four scenes back...Ken was disabled for life at the Hell portal..." Irina noted grimly...
"Roy?...Say it ain't so...That's a terrible shame...Well, make sure the families are compensated...And Ken gets the best care in Hell and on Earth...Ok then, you or Steve or Carlin...Whoever's left...I've left a shooting script in my office back on Earth to guide you...Now, tell Droog to try a couple more missiles at the base of the Tower...I don't mean to break up a tender moment...One we'll fully prolong in the film...But time is money here..."
"Well...Talk about the agony and the ecstasy..." Buffy grinned as she washed her face in the ladies room...Will beside her, trying to put salve he'd found in Denham's secretary's desk on several of her more severe-looking bruises and gashes...Hold still a mo, he insisted... "But it was worth it..." smile at him...
"What...?" she eyed his perturbed face...He shrugged...
Both looking round as the lights flickered and the building swayed yet again...
"Just can't help thinking I'd've rather done it somewhere other than Hell..." he looked up at her... "I mean...Our first time as a married couple...We didn't even get together after our wedding in 1880..."
"No time like the present..." she beamed...Ohhhh...Groaning as she straightened up... "Believe me, it was special, Will..." she smiled...Then looked a bit perturbed herself...
"You don't mean you're worried about anything...Coming from this?..." she eyed him as he rose...Urging her to take it easy...She'd likely resprained several sprains just now as well as reopened multiple wounds...
"You mean some benighted Hell's spawn crawling forth from your womb?...That's only in movies..." he shook his head...
"Thanks for that image..." she frowned...Then brightened... "It would be nice to have another of our own...Close to Will Jr in age and all...Lets see about it when we get back...We can make Angel dig out Wolfram-Hart's stuff on vampire/human pregnancies and I'll get Giles to cough up anything the Council has...If Angel and Darla can do it, oughta be no sweat for us..."
"That would be nice...If you're sure you want more kids..."
She frowned... "I ever give you the impression otherwise...?"
"I just mean..." he shrugged... "Slayers are busy women careerwise...I wouldn't want you to think I expect a 19th century style family..."
"You keep mentioning that..." Narrow look..."What's wrong with our century?...I don't remember it well yet, but we had values then, I know that...Damned good and solid ones that people kept to...It's probably why we made it back together..." she eyed him...
"You are happy to be back together?..."
"Cicely..." he shook his head... "How can you ask that?...I'm just suggesting your Buffy side might be a little repressed right now what with all that's goin' on...You may feel later you've made some promises to me you might not care..."
"This is all back to that cavern at Sunnydale, isn't it?..." she frowned... "I get it...I let you down then just like in 1880...And now you don't wanna put any faith in me, eh?..."
"Not so...Buffy...I have complete faith in you...I knew in my soul you'd come for me all those years and I knew you loved me when you said you did...And that you'd come for the big one in LA, somehow...I knew it... "
"Really?..."
"Really..." he nodded...
"Well...I want more kids...If I say I want more kids, I mean I want more kids...And if I say I love you...I mean I love you..." she glared... "We'll work out any career problems that may cause..."
"Right then...Gotta get back first, though..."
"Yeah...But you really did believe me back in Sunnydale?...You said I didn't..."
"I was giving you an out...I knew you couldn't stay..."
"Some out..." she frowned... "That 'No, you don't' has been tormenting me every day since then...I couldn't sleep without you there, sayin' it...I couldn't sit down to eat without you there, tellin' me..."
"That was probably your Cicely..." he noted... "Finding some way to push you along..."
"Yeah?...Well, whatever or whoever...It was hell, Will...I was ready to kill Giles, the whole Council...Myself...Until Denham offered me a chance to save you...So long as I kept away from LA...And you..."
He stared at her... "And you actually betrayed Angel and Giles for me...?" wry smile following...
She shrugged, grinning... "Betrayal's such a harsh word...Lets say I chose to save my husband and spared Angelus' soul and the Council of Watchers from the full fury of the wrath of Cicely Walthrop/Buffy Summers...After all, I had good reason to plaster all their guts across their walls...Just going along with Giles' refusal to trust in Angel was hardly a big 'betrayal' kind of thing..."
"I don't say I'm letting Dru off, though..." she frowned... "Now lets go find that miserable sob and get outta here..."
"Yeah...You know...Another daughter would be something..." he beamed as they headed for the stairway to the temporary roof level... "What should we call her?...Joyce...?"
"Will...You are the best..." Buffy smiled at him...Smashing open the locked roof door overhead... "But I'd be fine with mom-in-law's name...Ummn...?" she pondered as they took opposing sides at the door, peering out...
Just give me a min...I'll get it...She hesitated...Ummn...
"Well, Joyce...Anne...How's that...?" he suggested...
"Anne?...Really?...Oh, that's so beautiful...But Anne Joyce would be..." she was cut off by the sound of machine gun bullets striking the concrete and steel of the roof...They leaped out and raced for a sheltered nook near the base of Denham's gigantic sign...
"Ok, closer..." Denhan insisted... "Close up on that biplane, I wanna shot of the pilot...Yeah, the big, drooling green guy in the goggles...Oh, look at him waving...I couldna hired a better guy, he's like Redford in "Waldo Pepper..." he glanced at Irina...
"Ok, not quite as handsome...But we can airbrush those oozing pustules...Keep with him as he makes his run, there he goes...Come on, come on...Stay with him...Whadaya mean it's too steep, he'd doing it in a biplane, for cryin'...Ooops..." The copter suddenly lurched up, barely missing the side of the building where the biplane had just struck...
That was a real shame...he sighed to Irina... "That fellow had great potential...Ok, lets get with it and see what else we got comin'...Hey, here come our monkey flyboys in again..."
A troop of the flying monkeylike creatures were dropping down fast, hurling rocks and spears at Buffy's and William's little nook...The biplanes holding off for a moment...Until several pilots noted that they were again on camera...
"Buffy, for God's sake will you let me cover you?...A few rocks and bullets aren't gonna hurt me..." Will insisted...
"I'm fine...And wooden spears will...Ow!...Damnit!...Here, how do you like it, asshole!" she tossed a large rock at the face of a leering flying demon in goggles and scarf...Whose plane dropped like a stone...
"At least lets get some better cover, girl..."
"I'm tryin'...Damn roof door just got hit...There's no way backdown from up here, except climbin'...Do you see Denham around anywhere?...Look for a film crew..." she climbed up the nearest pole of the giant billboard of surrender...
"Hey!..."
"Sorry, honey, tryin' to find another foothold...Duck!" She pushed him back as a hail of stones rained down on them from above where several of the flying creatures had found the top of their nook and were dropping their loads straight down, one after the other...
"Whoops!..." she pulled her hand back from an exposed edge struck repeatedly by bullets as several planes, heedless of their comrades, dived in, firing...Several of the flying demons screaming and falling, caught in the line of fire...
"Whoa...Thanks..." she called as William caught her teetering frame...He tightly wedged and braced in the nook...
"Whoa..." Denham blinked at the intense fire...Stones, spears, ricocheting bullets, whizzing shrapnel...And the falling demons...
"Awful close there..."
Irina eyeing him a moment...
"Irina, tell them on the ground to have the planes pull back a little, we can't get a good shot...Ummn...Tell 'em we need a clear shot before the final kill..."
"Sure..." she said curtly, frowning a bit...Denham starting at the tone...Irina?...
"Boss..." the pilot blanched a bit... "I think the Slayer's seen us..."
Hmmn?... He looked where Buffy could barely be made out in the indented corner of the roof by the billboard, hanging on to what was apparently William bracing limbs tightly against the nook's sides to hold them as much out of sight as possible...Her dead level stare directed their way...
You...
"I think you're right...Lets pull back a bit, too..."
"Oh...I'm gonna kill that Denham when we get outta this...Mostly or fully human or whatever..." Buffy glared...
"Least of our worries right now, love..." Will noted...As they ducked to avoid another hail of bullets from a diving biplane...
"Queen Buffy..."
Summary: The Immortal is a true showman...And has spared no effort or
expense...
A little fun cobbled from my various IB brainstormings and a certain
film...
Archived at the 'normal' Buffyverse page of the Buffy Rebecca
verse, . or direct to story
at .
Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon,
Mutant Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire
Slayer series...
Part XI...
The Osama Tower…Tallest structure in Hell for the moment…Unfinished after floor 115…Naturally never to be completed despite the most frantic efforts, this being Hell...
A tall, older, rather familiar-looking man in turban stood patiently, hands bound by some sort of leather straps to the building, just below the temporary roof…Turning at the sound of the helicopter moving in to hover at the ledge near him…Denham, Droog's aide Ming, and Irina stepping cautiously out onto the ledge, followed by about three large creatures attempting to drag a number of what appeared to be spotlights and a large net out of the copter and onto the ledge…
"Who among the Satanic Verses are you?..." the bearded, bespectacled man in turban stared from his bindings…
"Denham, Carl Denham…His Benevolence, the Immortal to you…" slightly stern tone in his voice surprising Ming beside him…
"What are you doing?...Is this a joke?...Tell those…Creatures to remove those things…Is that a net?...Do you people have a permit?...I shall contact the authorities…"
"I don't need one, pal…I'm the Authority…And yeah, that happens to be the biggest net in Hell…Though frankly not quite the size I'd had in mind…Irina?..."
"Right, boss…"
"And may I ask, sir, what you're doing here…?"
"That is my concern, infidel…Be off with you…"
"Not while I have business here...My film crew needs more lighting…And I wouldn't mind a look at your permit, pal…"
"I need no permit, dog…This is my tower…I'm awaiting glorious martyrdom on this structure…"
"You mean, by plane…" Dedham asked, looking a bit perturbed…Just like a fanatic to come and louse up things sticking his suicidal face in my big finale...
Lord, let an ironic planning commission stick a guy's name on a building and he thinks he owns it...
"Plane?...Of course not…I'm leaving it in Allah's hands, though I presume it will be due to lack of water and food…Though it does seem I shall never enjoy the blessing, judging by how long I've been up here…"
"I don't think you can voluntarily go the suicide route here in Hell, pal…"
"Well, it's the willingness and desire that count, infidel…"
"Say, I'd be happy to arrange a plane crash…A big, painful one…Soon as we're done…"
"Hardly necessary, young man…"
"No prob…I love NYC…Ming, get General Droog on the horn and tell him to have a few of the planes let Osama have it soon as we're done here…Shoot him into bloody guts, that's my order…"
"Wait…"
"Enjoy the martyrdom…But you know there really aren't any virgins waiting and you'll wind-up right back here, just like after that mob in Pakistan got hold of you…" Dedham gave a wave… "Lets set up over here…Make sure we can run the power line through a window…"
"I was really thinking more along the lines of a lifetime of contemplation first!..." Osama called…
"Ming, if the head gets shot off intact, have it sent to Rudy Guiliani as a gift with my regards…Irina should have a few of my cards to go with it…Ok, fellas, careful…Stretch that net out good and tight…Get those spotlights and lasers secure..."
Sound of howls above as several flying monkeys fell past them...Their copter weaving to avoid the falling bodies...
"Lets move it, guys!...The chopper can't hold place here for long..."
"The planes are coming in again, Boss..." Irina told him...
"Planes...?" Osama called... "Wait..."
"Tell 'em to hold off a mo till we're done here..."
"Iri?..." Denham caught sight of Irina's frowning face...
"Nets?...Sir?..."
"Just in case, Iri..."
"I see..." narrow look...
He sighed as she turned to inch her way over to the helicopter now back in position...
"See your severed head around, O-boy..." he called to the fuming Osama now looking to free himself...
Buffy and Will had taken advantage of a lull in the biplanes' attack to move to a slightly better protected position under the great sign...
"What the here's that?..." Buffy looked over, shielding her eyes from the intense and massive glare now showing all around the building just beneath the edges of the roof… "Damn he's gone down there..." she moved over to the ledge, peering...Will beside her, urging her to take care...He tossed a rock on the roof back at a descending, shrieking flying monkey swooping down upon them...Direct hit...The creature squealing as it dropped...
"He must need more light for filming...And he seems to be advertising some more…" William noted…Pointing to where a large banner pulled between two helicopters reflected several lasers now installed among the spotlights... "Carl Denham Surrenders..." he read out...The banner went taut... "...To Queen Buffy..."
"Another damned sign...While those planes plaster us with machine guns...Cute way of surrendering..." she fumed, looking over...
"Think he means to parley...?" Will asked...
"Think he'd like us to stick our heads out so those planes can shoot them off..." she pointed..."Where's his copter?...He must be have been down there...Neither of those two could be his..."
"In that case, with your permission, Mrs W..." Will politely asked, holding rock and indicating his chosen target...
"Mr. W..." she nodded... He threw the rock at the banner with enormous force...The two copters spinning round wildly as the bannerwas hurled back and torn away from them...One getting the banner's remains caught in its blade...Descending to an emergency landing while the other backed off...
Hmmn...Denham watching from his copter...
"Guys, I don't think the new banner quite works for them…" he noted to Irina...Can't we try again and fit in another word or two?...No?..."
Well maybe she got the message and is mulling...He watched the damaged third copter descend hurriedly as the banner was torn back...
No, I don't think so...
"Lets try another approach..." Buffy suggested... "This is taking too long and they can probably replace the planes almost as fast as the dead pilots..."
"And that other approach?..." Will eyed her look up...Up the giant sign...
There?...He blinked...
"See if we can get him in close by climbing the thing..." she eyed the top of the sign... "He's sure to want a few close shots before sending the planes in for the kill..."
"Though neither of us is really up to scaling that…" Will glanced toward the top of the huge lighted sign before them…Lightening occasionally striking its sides…
"We'll manage...I'll carry you or you can carry me if you have to..."
"Over the threshold…?" he grinned…
Hovering near the one hundred fifteenth floor of the Osama Tower…
"Nothing from posts 6-10…" Ming called back to Irina…Who turned to where Dedham peered out at the huge neon sign blazing his offer of surrender…God that's gotta look great on camera...
Two more helicopters now in position about nearby buildings, making four still aloft, including the one which had brought him and Irina…And all four filmin' away, thank God...
"Sir…" she tapped his shoulder…
"Nothing from the other observation posts…"
"She's still kicking...Literally…And so is Walthrop…She's not about to consider settling down here in Hell, you know…She's just bidding her time waitin' for the planes and planning her breakout...And grab for my throat..." he put on a nervous look...
"Right...Sir, what are you planning to do if she shows again...?..." Irina frowned
"Just leave it to me, Irina…" he waved her off… "Delicate negotiations are my forte..."
"Hey, Osama!..." he called out the copter window with bullhorn to the still-bound, somewhat more reluctantly would-be martyr… "I know you can't see anything up there but do you hear anything like a Slayer prowling on the roof?..."
"F-you, infidel!"
"Make sure we cut that bastard out of the picture, Irina…" he turned to her…
"Yes, sir…" she sighed… "Sir, you must have a plan…You're not really going to end this with them shot off the building and their bodies caught in those nets, are you?..."
"Just wait and see, Irina…That's my motto…You better check in with the other guys…"
"Sir..." she pulled at her headphones... "They've spotted them!...They're climbing the sign...!"
Dang straight...Denham beamed..."She could've just holed up and waited for us to try and storm the roof but that girl never takes the safe and easy way..."
"The planes are coming in..." Irina reported, listening to her headphones...
"I think we'd better back off a little..." Denham noted to the pilot who gratefully nodded...The copter moving away from the building... "But get us up to their level at the top of the sign so we can follow the action..."
"The big finish, sir...?" Irina frowned...
"Sacrifices have to be made for Art, Iri..." he noted...
"Queen Buffy..."
Summary: The Immortal is a true showman...And has spared no effort or expense...
A little fun cobbled from my various IB brainstormings and a certain film...
Archived at the 'normal' Buffyverse page of the Buffy Rebecca verse, . or direct to story at
.
Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...
Part XII...Conclusion...
"Queen Buffy..."
Summary: The Immortal is a true showman...And has spared no effort or expense...
A little fun cobbled from my various IB brainstormings and a certain film...
Archived at the 'normal' Buffyverse page of the Buffy Rebecca verse, . or direct to story at .
Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...
Part XII...
"Down!..." Buffy pulled William down as another biplane made a run on the colossal neon sign Denham had had erected on the Osama Tower's current roof…Bullets whanged off the metal poles…Will in turn pulled himself over Buffy as a shield… "Sweetheart, you're wonderful but you're just making us a bigger target…" she hissed to him… "The bullets go may not hurt you but they still go through you…" she pointed out…
Right…He sighed, moving back…
"Ok, lets try now!..." she called as the last plane peeled off… "Head for the top and look for Denham…He's sure to be in the closest chopper…"
"I dunno, love…I don't get the impression these guys are holding off for the filming…" Will noted…
"Damnit, Droog…!" Denham was currently shouting into his microphone… "I said to have the planes back off a little…We just got our lighting in place and I want to get a few good shots!..." Irina frowning as she listened…Glancing at Droog's assistant, Ming beside her and Denham…He frowning as well…
Something not quite right here…
"All right, I take full responsibility!...Now tell 'em to back off…Just leave Koog and his monkeymen…They'll keep the Slayer pinned down…" he put his microphone down with a frustrated look…Bureaucrats…He fumed… "No regard for Art…Just follow the book, unthinkingly…"
"We could just have Droog fire a couple of missiles into the roof…" Irina noted archly… "That'd end this pretty quick and final…If you wanted it ended…Finally…"
"What's that supposed to mean?..." Denham eyed her… "I just need some more footage with decent lighting…Droog's planes will nail em on the next pass…Besides, Hell's Board of Inquiry would have a field day with me if I destroyed the tallest building in Hell…And a field day in Hell is one Hell of a field day…"
"Uh-huh…" Irina said, dryly…
Ming showing laudable reserve but an expression of restrained disbelief…
"You guys…" Denham frowned…Pulling up the mike… "Steve, can you see the Slayer and close in for a shot?...Hey, Steve?...What, oh, hello Carlin…"
Steve's bought it, Irina thought…
"That's a damned shame…Stray bullet through the shoulder, eh?…Well, we'll close in and you keep behind…Your our one remaining back-up crew, I don't wanna lose you…Tell the crew on Steve's chopper as soon as Steve's off to hospital to rush their footage to…"
The chopper rocked wildly…
"The Slayer's gone on the offense, Carlin!..." Denham called into the mike eagerly… "We'll move in but definitely keep your distance…"
We'll move…In?...Irina blinked…As another flying fragment struck the chopper blades…
"Sir, we've got to get out of here…" The pilot called… "The lights have us an easy target for her here…"
"What?...Don't be soft, buddy…" Denham glared at him… "Just maneuver a little, she'll never hit us…" The chopper careened wildly… "…Again…"
"Sir, we've gotta pull back…" Irina urged… "Either we pull back or I'll order Droog to target the roof with his missiles…And your heroine and hero will bite it…At least she will…" she eyed him…He staring back…
"What?..." Ming looked at them…
"He's not gunning for the Slayer and Walthrop…" Irina glared at Denham… "This is all staged…"
"Irina?..." Denham put on a hurt tone…She pulled microphone to lips with threatening glance… "Cut his mike off…" she told the pilot who eagerly complied…
"Iri…" Denham frowned… "You know I'm a tolerant boss and I love you…But this really toes the line..."
"Yeah, yeah...Pull back or…" she pushed her transmit button on the mike…
"Ok, ok…Pull back…A little…" Denham sighed…The pilot sighing with relief, directed the chopper away…
He frowned at Irina... "Happy?..."
"Soon as you give me the details..." she replied...
"The details, eh?...Well..." he smiled... "Ever since that first day I sneaked a look down your blouse during your job interview and you slapped me back across the room...And tole me either you were now my assistant or I was changing my name from His Benevolence to Buttafuco..."...She blinked at him...Huh?...
Aw...Ming teared up a bit...And I was even there at Sunnydale with Spike and Buffy...
Well, watching them with the First...
"Well at least tell me you're not gonna go and say Walthrop's line, are you?..." Denham sighed at her...Taking her hand...Irina?...For the first time she ever seen...And she'd looked at everything in his photo and film archive and portrait collection, going back to 1282 plus one unconfirmed Roman mural from 576...A nervous look...
She smiling slowly, shyly...Boss?..Then shook her head...
"Nah...I believe you...But I still want the details...Carl..." she frowned, small smile at end...
"Damn…" Buffy sighed, watching them pull off… "Almost got 'em with that last pipe…You ok, Will…?"
"Fine…" he called back…Tossing a piece of concrete fragment at a flying monkey trying a desperate close-in run…
Gotta say, those fellows don't lack courage, he noted…Watching the creature plummet…
"You get the feeling in spite of the show, they're not putting their all in?..." he called… "They've got the heavy stuff in those missiles and the planes have definitely pulled off…"
"Yeah, he's holding back…Probably trying to get footage…" she called back… "Maybe we should try smashing his lights below…"
Say…She eyed the glimmering sky…Looking rather like…
"Will!...What time is dawn in Hell?..." she called anxiously…
"Couldn't say, love!..." he called back… "But I'm pretty sure Hell sunlight doesn't destroy vamps…"
"Lets hope so…" she returned… "Cause it looks like we're gonna find out for sure in about half an hour…" she pointed…
"You've been deliberately holding back…" Irina accused…
"Naturally…" Denham shrugged… "I want to keep the scene going for a while…It's heartbreaking and colossal…The doomed Slayer and her lover…Trapped on the Osama Tower, awaiting their grim fate…It's epic tragedy…"
"That's not what I mean…Is she in on this?..."
"Irina?...Those were real bullets, you know…"
"Do I?...And all of which managed to miss her in any case…" she noted…
Was wondering about that myself…Ming nodded…
"Are you suggesting I deliberately sent Hell's best to their deaths under orders not to kill the Slayer…?"
"This is Hell…They come back in a day at most and this sort of death is probably a zillion times easier than their daily torture here…Only the Slayer and Walthrop…And us…Can suffer anything permanent…" she pointed out…
"What did you do?...Offer the pilots film credit and close ups…?" she eyed Denham coldly…
"Now Iri…I did have a deal with the Slayer to help her get William…Though she's not in on this part…I knew she'd never let William be put at risk…Besides I wanted realism…She had to believe she and he were in danger…"
"So you put us, your faithful team, and yourself at risk?...For this damned film?..." she fumed…
"For Art, dear…Any sacrifice is worthwhile…And that's clearly stated in all your contracts…"
"You got us all...Literally but for us last five and yourself...Killed...!" she stormed at him...
"I was up front about the risks...I've been in the front lines the whole time...Irina, darling...Life's not worth living and Art not worth making without risk...Whether it's the Slayer taking on a horde to save the world, us risking life and limb to make an epic film sure to do bonfire business at the box office, James Joyce risking Nora's wrath, Shakespeare putting his philosophical Prince Hamlet up on that stage in front of the groundlings ready to throw bricks and chamberpots...Irina, everybody who came along came voluntarily...Came...Cause they wanted to be a part of this, to share in creating a masterpiece...Creation, Irina...The consummate act of being human...The dream that kept that poor Walthrop's soul alive...And I got everyone of reasonably good moral character on the team a papal dispensation before they crossed the portal...So the good guys are safe in Heaven and the bad...Still right here..."
"And me?...You sob...Would you have sent me off to Heaven without a thought to get this thing done?..."
"Did I ever let you leave my side?...Once?..." arch smile...
She blinked...Why you little...Reminding me of that now...She fought back a grin...Frowning...
"The Slayer didn't come...Voluntarily..."
"Of course she did...She just came for William, not the film...Though in its way, that's great Art too..." he beamed... "And I have every intention of leaving the book rights to Walthrop...If he's had enough experience to be up to the challenge..."
"But you were gonna leave her on exhibit in Hell before her enemies?..."
"Cicely Walthrop/Buffy Summers?...Are you kidding, Iri?..." he grinned... "Sweetheart, I've watched that girl since before she was Cicely...Last time about 1668, I think, in England?...Yeah, England...Though come to think of it, I think William was the girl then...So I guess the last time..." he pondered as Irina stared... "Well, no matter...And there's no way anything in Hell or Heaven, for that matter, is gonna keep her from William...Except their own mutual fears...Which dealing with required a little help from the world's most benevolent matchmaker and greatest film producer/director..." he beamed...
"And the planes...Monkey men...Missiles..." Irina noted...
"Unless Droog contemplates a military coup in Hell, the missiles are going nowhere but where I say...The bullets were blanks...But excellent ones...With little non-lethal explosives all over the roof and that sign to look like things were getting shot up...And the monkey men, brave lads all, never had a chance again the Slayer and her vampire mate...Though I gave them all film credit and the survivors will be guaranteed jobs and the best medical care on Earth..."
"She's still gonna kill you...If she's really not in on this..."
"And I except the risk...All part of being the writer/director/producer of the greatest epic the screen has ever seen..." he raised a triumphant fist... "Von Stroheim would be so proud...Erich was like a dad to me when I was learning the ropes of this business..." he noted fondly...
"You're crazy enough to be his son..." she shook her head...
"And will do my adoptive father in the movie business proud..." he shook his head firmly... "Are you with me, darling?..."
"Are you crazy?...No..." Irina shook her head...
"Iri...I'm crushed..." he looked down...Ming looking downcast from his seat as well...Oh... "Worse than Angel falling into Hell...That guy Riley, Buffy's filler boyfriend, realizing Spike was her numero-uno and leaving to hunt peasants, er demons in Latin America...Worse even than William...Facing Halfreck's ersatz Cicely as she told him..."
"...'You're beneath me'?..."
They looked up...Where Buffy had just dropped onto the copter from a Koog she'd grabbed and forced to fly her and Will over from the sign...And smashed her arm, wrapped in Will's favorite jacket...Tis a far, far better thing I do...He'd noted to her beaming face, handing it to her... through the supposedly unbreakable plexiglass window just below the metal frame of the copter...
"Beneath us, that is..." Will added...As he smashed his foot through another section...They dropped into the copter cabin...
"Forgive us for dropping in..." Buffy noted archly as she stood up... "We loved your big scene but thought it and you could use a little punching-up..."
"Slayer..." Denham beamed...Ming trying to look as inconspicuous as possible in his seat...Hey it worked for me at Sunnydale...The pilot struggling to keep control of the damaged chopper...
"Just in time...I surrender..."
"You bet you do..." Buffy nodded...Grabbing him and lifting him out of his seat...
"Slayer...Please..." Irina pleaded... "He's insane and was willing to get us all killed but he actually didn't plan to kill you..."
"We know..." William sighed...
"You know...?" Denham looked rather disappointed...
So much for all my efforts at realism...
"We found your phony bullets..." Buffy frowned... "And Koog told us they had orders to hold off hitting Will with those spears...Which turned out to be plastic..."
"But the best wood imitiation without being wood money can buy..." Denham insisted...
"And, by the way, Koog said he'd like to renegotiate his boys' contract later on...They've elected him their union rep..."
"What?..." Denham frowned...Why that...
"You staged this whole damned thing, you crazy loon...!" Buffy shook him... "We still coulda got killed!..And may yet..."
"And could get killed any day, any battle...Going for a carton of milk across the street..." Denham noted...Gurgling a bit as she lifted him..."But...This...One...Time...Most... Import...port..."
"Important?..." Will offered...Eyeing Buffy who reluctantly lowered Denham...
"Uhhh...day of your lives...You get a permanent record...For Posterity...And your kids...Of all the incredible things no one...Demon, human, whatever...Would otherwise believe...Because, Mrs. Walthrop...Mr. Walthrop..." Denham wheezed...More out of breath by his eloquence than Buffy's strangling... "A Picture...Especially, a Moving Picture..." he raised a finger to the heavens... "Truly is worth a thousand Words..."
"And..." he gasped a moment... "You wouldn't have made it to him in time...The Partners would have held him and destroyed him...Not that that would've have stopped you but...I figured...You kids have waited long enough...And those jerks deserved a major asskicking...Especially on camera..."
They stared at his beaming face...
"Ok...Let him go...!" Irina held a small contraption in her hand...The last of Denham's gas grenades, he noted, staring with the others... "If I set this off here, we all go down..." she insisted... "Let him go..."
"Irina..." Denham waved a frantic hand... "Don't fool around with that thing...They're very sensitive...We're negotiating here...It's no sweat...Right, Slayer?..."
Buffy glared... "Tell your little psycho secretary..."
"She's my girlfriend..." he smiled at Irina...Who beamed back..Aw...Boss, then glared, tensing as William eyed her...
"I can set it off before even one of you can reach me!...Let him go!..."
"I doubt that..." Buffy frowned... "But, ok...I was gonna anyway..." she released Denham...
"I'll take that. love..." Will had reached Irina before she could move and snatched the grenade from her hand... "But as one very determined lover to another, mucho points for a good try..." he tossed the grenade out the broken window...
"You won't hurt him...?" Irina pleaded...
"I ought to...A lot..." Buffy glared at Denham... "But...He's right...The Partners would've made things a lot tougher without his leading me through...And he did protect Will all those months in LA...Though you owe me for this outfit..." she shook her torn blouse... "And Will's jacket..."
"You can put it on your expense accounts..." Denham beamed...Whoa...All gasped as the copter lurched...
"You better set us down..." Denham turned to the pilot... "On the roof?..." he eyed Buffy...Who shook her head a moment then looked at William...Who shrugged, then smiled...Why the hell not, girl?...
"Ok...Get Carlin on the last chopper over and have him pick us up...We've only fifteen minute to Hell dawn...!" Denham shouted to Irina...
Buffy gulping...Dawn?...Still not sure about that...
"Dawn in Hell can't hurt vamps..." Denham reassured her... "You have my word on it..."
"I want your head on it..." she replied... "And a UV shade over the roof just in case..."
"Fine, fine..." he sighed...Actresses and their demands...Geesh, give em a little praise and it goes straight to their heads...She'll be impossible from now on, like Norma Talmadge back with Sennett in the '10s... "Irina?..."
"On it...Carl..."
He winced...Will grinning at him... In for it now, mate...
"Ok...The final scene, guys...The audience either not knowing Hell well enough or accepting the suspension of disbelief thing, sees the coming Dawn and knows our poor Queen's struggles have all been in vain...Her souled, noble, but vamp lover is doomed...She could flee...Yes, she could...But..."
"I like it..." Buffy smiled...
"I like it better being fictional..." William frowned... "In real life, Mrs. W., you think of our kids and flee..."
"Yes, dear..." she nodded...
Like Here, she thought...
"But there's one last thing..." she frowned at Denham who stared back...
Lord, what does she want now?...I save her hubby...Connect her with her past...Make her the leading lady in the most colossal production since...Well, ever...
"Ok...Everyone off the set and on the chopper but the actors...Places..." Denham called... "Queen Buffy!...You're protecting your beloved from those deadly rays as the planes come in for that last attack...Irina?..."
"Planes on the way, Boss!..."
"Ok, we're off..." Denham climbed into the last chopper..Buffy having heaved their damaged one over the unnetted side of the building...Where Osama still shrieked vengeance on all dogs of...OW!...
"Kids...It's being great workin' with ya!...The rounds at the wrap party Earthside are on me...!" he shouted to Buffy and William, now underneath her in position... "You bet they are...!" Will called...
"Ok...Enough romance, we've got a film to finish..." Denham turned to the pilot...
"Everyone clear, Iri...Darling...?..."
"Clear, Boss..." 'Boss' affectionately drawn out...
"Ok...We're set...Take off... And hold us at one hundred feet off the roof...Ming?..."
"Sir...?" Ming looked up from his seat...
"You're either on my team now, or headed for the ground fast?..I can't have Droog blowing this scene now..."
"Right, boss..." Ming nodded...
"Sir?...We'll be too close to..." the pilot began...
"He said one hundred feet!...It means one hundred feet!..." Irina glared...
"Right..." the pilot sighed...
"Ok, ok...Camera...Carlin, are you ready?..."
"Set, Boss..."
"The nets secure and hooked?...And are we ready to cast the escape portal and get outta here as soon as we make the take?...Before Droog finally catches on?...Cause as soon as he can see us in the light of day..." he looked at Irina...
"All set...We scoop the nets with our cast and make a flying run for the Earth portal..." she nodded...
:"Great.. Remember, everyone...We've only one chance at a take...So make this one Immortal..." he shook a fist...
"Ok...Lights...Camera..."
"Denham..." Buffy's annoyed voice over her hidden mke...
He sighed...Right, right...
"Sorry, Slayer...Just habit...All yours..." he eyed Irina...What?..
Now, Carl...She grinned...
You promised...
"Action..." Buffy and William, together...