Author's Note: Hey, everybody! Here's a new chapter of Typical Beilschmidt Family Moments, featuring Gilbo as a little baby and a 9-year-old Roderich.
And there are two Seinfeld references in this chapter.
Chapter 24: Looking for Gilbert
One day, Claus and Elise decided they needed a break from their 6-month-old son, so they decided to go out to a nice dinner. They asked Germania if he could watch the baby. Frederick and Nina decided to join the couple and brought 9-year-old Roderich over and asked Germania to watch him as well. Germania said he would.
"Are you sure, Dad?" asked Claus.
"Yeah, Dad, you sure you up to watching them?" Nina asked.
"Of course," Germania said as he bounced a laughing Gilbert on his lap.
"Grandpa, I can't find my glasses," Roderich whined.
Gilbert was holding Roderich's glasses, laughing as he waved them around. Roderich saw that.
"Hey!" said Roderich. "Give those back."
Germania gently pried Roderich's glasses from Gilbert's grip and gave them back to the boy.
"Thanks," said Roderich. He put his glasses back on. "I don't look plain anymore."
Claus, Elise, Frederick and Nina got their coats and turned to leave.
"Thanks again, Dad," said Claus.
"No problem," said Germania. "Don't worry, they won't burn the house down."
"Okay," Elise said and laughed. She went over to Gilbert and kissed him on his forehead. "See you later, Gilbo," she said sweetly to the baby.
The four adults left, and Germania was left at the house with Roderich and Gilbert.
Germania turned on the TV, and Roderich sat next to him and Gilbert, who was taking a nap on the elderly man. Germania and Roderich were watching Seinfeld.
"Come on, Elaine!" Jerry Seinfeld whined at one of his friends.
"No, Jerry!" said Elaine.
"Elaiiiine!" Jerry whined again.
"NO!" Elaine said in a scolding manner as Jerry pouted like a little kid.
"Gee, Jerry's immature," said Roderich.
"Yes, he is," Germania said quietly, careful not to wake Gilbert.
Just then, Germania's phone rang.
"Hello?" Germania said when he picked up the phone.
"AAAAHHHHH! Germania, you've gotta help me!" said Germania's friend, Rome Vargas.
Germania sighed at the voice of his Italian friend. "What's wrong, Rome?"
"I was making pasta in the kitchen!" said Rome.
"Uh…so?" asked Germania. So Rome was making pasta. So what?
"So I left for only a couple minutes to talk to some pretty girls!" said Rome. "And when I came back, the water was boiling over, and now the kitchen's a complete mess! And there are roaches everywhere!"
"You want me to go over to your house just to kill a few roaches?" asked Germania. Now he was getting annoyed.
"A-And clean up the kitchen, too!" said Rome.
"Rome, you're going to have to learn to kill your own roaches and clean your own kitchen," said Germania. "I've got my grandsons here."
"Pleeeeeeaaaaaase!" Rome pleaded. "I've got my grandsons over at my house, and…Francis, Antonio, don't touch those bugs! HURRY, GERMANIA!"
The last thing Germania heard before Rome hung up was the man screaming and Francis and Antonio crying.
"Oh, boy," the man said with a sigh. He slowly got up due to Gilbert still sleeping on him and carried the baby to Claus and Elise's room. He then put Gilbert in the crib beside Elise's side of the bed.
"Grandpa, what's going on?" asked Roderich as Germania came out of Claus and Elise's bedroom and went to the front door.
"I'm going over to Rome's place for a bit," Germania replied. "Can you watch Gilbo for me till I get back?"
"Uh, sure," said a confused Roderich.
"Thanks," said a relieved Germania. He went out the door.
Roderich went into his aunt and uncle's room and watched his cousin kicking in his sleep.
"Well, Gilbo, looks like it's just you and me for a bit," Roderich said, careful not to wake Gilbert.
Meanwhile, Germania was over at Rome's house.
"Alright, where are the roaches?" asked Germania.
"In the kitchen!" Rome exclaimed as he held a naked Francis and a squirming Antonio.
"Okay," said Germania. He went into the kitchen and jumped back. Rome wasn't exaggerating when he said that the kitchen was a complete mess, and that there were roaches.
Germania sighed and got to work killing the roaches and cleaning the kitchen, grumbling about Rome and how he should learn to kill his own bugs and clean his own kitchen.
Roderich was watching TV while Gilbert still lay sleeping in Claus and Elise's room.
Half an hour passed, and Roderich didn't hear Gilbert crying to be picked up. He thought something was wrong, so he went to his aunt and uncle's room to investigate.
"Gilbo?" the 9-year-old said as he slowly opened the door. "Gilbo? Where are you?" He noticed that the baby's crib was empty except for a stuffed animal.
Roderich looked under Claus and Elise's bed, under both nightstands, and even in the closet. No sign of Gilbert. He then looked at the window and saw that it was open!
"Shit!" he said. He rushed to the kitchen and picked up the phone. He dialed the number to Germania's phone.
After a few rings, there was no answer. Instead, Roderich heard his grandfather's voicemail:
Believe it or not,
Germania isn't at home,
Please leave a message at the beep.
I must be out or I'd pick up the phone,
Where could I be?
Believe it or not, I'm not home.
When the voicemail ended, Roderich heard a beep and left his grandfather a message.
"Grandpa? Are you there? You've really gotta change that message. Anyway, Gilbo's gone! I found his crib empty, and Uncle Claus and Aunt Elise's window's open!"
Roderich hung up and sat on the couch, hugging his knees, and waiting for Germania to get the message and rush home.
Germania was now done cleaning up after Rome. He checked his phone and saw that he had a message.
"Hm," he said and listened to the message.
"Grandpa! Are you there? You've really gotta change that message. Anyway, Gilbo's gone! I found his crib empty and Uncle Claus and Aunt Elise's window open!"
Germania closed his phone and stared straight ahead, shocked at the message he just listened to. "I shouldn't have left the window open," he said to himself.
"Germania?" said Rome out of concern. He waved his hand in front of his friend's face. "Germania? Germania! What's going on?"
"I…I've gotta go," Germania said quickly. He ran out the door and back to his house, where he saw a scared Roderich sitting on the couch and hugging his knees.
"Grandpa…Gilbo's gone…" said Roderich.
"It's okay, we'll find him," said Germania. He called the police and told them what happened.
An officer stayed with Germania and Roderich and asked them questions while the other officers searched the house.
"I don't understand," said Germania. "I was only over at Rome Vargas' house, cleaning up a mess and killing roaches…and then I got Roddy's message…"
The officer had an annoyed look on his face when Germania mentioned Rome. "Oh. Rome Vargas, huh?"
"Yeah, he was screaming about roaches and stuff," said Germania.
The officer shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Well, do you know of anyone who might—I don't know—have a grudge against you or your family…or something?"
"No," said Germania. "But my son and his wife are gonna be home in an hour! Please find—Gilbo, thank God."
Germania and Roderich smiled when they saw one of the officers with a smiling and laughing Gilbert.
Germania took Gilbert and held him tight. "Where did you find him?"
"In the laundry room," the officer who was holding Gilbert replied.
"Oh," said a relieved and embarrassed Germania.
"Don't scare me like that," Roderich said to his cousin. Gilbert just smiled, and made baby noises.
Once the officers left, Germania fed Gilbert while he and Roderich ate.
After Germania and Roderich ate dinner and dessert, and the dishes were done, Germania made a mental note to himself: Remember to lock the laundry room door! He then put Gilbert to bed while Roderich stayed up.
Author's Note: The Seinfeld references are: the episode Roddy and Germania watched, and Germania's voicemail message...thingy.