Western music played in the background. Karin, Ino, and Sakura were about to fight the battle of the century. Over Sasuke. Thousands of wildly cheering fans screamed for their favorites.
Karin was the first to make a move. She grabbed a shuriken, but in the process, broke one of her fake nails.
"SQUEAL!" Karin squealed. "I gotta go make an appointment with my thumb manicurist!" (1) She ran away.
Now, it was between Sakura and Ino. Ino tried to tackle Sakura, but tripped on her 6-inch stilletos on the way. She fell into a pile of doggie boom boom.
"SHRIEK!" Ino shrieked. "Grody! I need hand sanitizer!" She also ran away.
Sakura was the only one left. But before she noticed this, she realized something else.
"SCREAM!" Sakura screamed. "Ohmigosh, I'm sweating! I need a soothing mud bath!" She ran away as well.
Sasuke was sitting on a throne overlooking the battle. He wept.
(1) Karin has a manicurist for every finger. Just sayin'.