Hey! So I'm sorry! So SO sorry! I just really REALLY struggled with this one. But here it is! I hope you all enjoy this latest update and I can't wait to hear what you all have to say! Your reviews really do help to keep this story going and help me fix my mistakes! So THANK YOU!
Disclaimer: I don't own GH or the characters.
"You don't remember?" Jason asks again anxiously.
"No Jason!" Sam says restlessly moving in the bed. "I obviously don't remember. So why don't you tell me what the hell is going on and if Michael and Kristina are ok!" When Jason just sits there shocked silent staring at her. Sam automatically assumes the worst. "Oh my god! They're not ok. What happened Ja…!" Sam frantically says trying to get out of the bed, but before Jason even has a chance to stop her Sam starts gasping in pain and falls back into bed. "Jason…it hurts!" Sam says holding hand to her chest. "It hurts to…I can't… breathe!"
"Just calm down Sam!" Jason says hesitant to touch her, afraid to cause any unnecessary damage. "Somebody help!" Jason shouts over his shoulder and is relieved to see Robin come rushing in.
"What happened!" Robin asks rushing to Sam's other side and noticing right away that Sam was trying to catch her breath.
"I don't know! I turn around and she was waking up and she started asking questions about where she was and Michael and Kristina. Then she was trying to get up and the next second she's gasping in pain and saying she can't breathe!" Jason says watching as Robin works putting an oxygen mask over her mouth to help her breathe. "What's happening to her?"
"She was getting too worked up." Patrick says coming into the room dropping the supplies he had been carrying on the foot of the bed before coming to Robin's side and watches as Sam struggles with the oxygen mask. "Sam! Look at me…ok good. I need you to calm down for me and keep the mask on. Ok?" Patrick watches as Sam nods her head and her eyes slowly start to droop.
"Everything is ok Sam…Michael and Kristina are ok" Robin says rubbing a hand up and down Sam's arm. "Just breathe…deep breaths." Waiting to see if Sam's eyes were going to flicker back open; Robin sighs when a minute passes and Sam's chest starts to rise and fall more evenly and her eyes stay closed. "She's out again."
"Is she alright?" Jason asks worriedly looking at the oxygen mask covering Sam's face.
"I think so." Robin says checking her vitals, waiting until Sam's heart rates starts slowing down to a normal rate. "She woke up so that's a good thing." She shares a look with Patrick who nods his head in agreement.
"But she was in pain! And she's unconscious again…how can that be good?"
"Jason…Sam's body has been through a lot of trauma. She isn't going to be able wake up and walk away from this. Her body is going to force Sam to rest if she won't do it willingly." Robin says coming to Jason's side.
"But she said she couldn't breathe Robin!" he shouts.
"Of course she couldn't Jason!" Patrick yells back. "Sam has one fully functioning lung and one severely damaged one. She woke up I'm sure scared and tired and stressed. A major symptom of all of those is panic and heavy breathing…something Sam can't do right now…Something she won't be able to do until her lung has had a chance to heal." Squeezing the bridge of his nose to find relief from the stress Patrick takes a deep calming breath. "Sam is going to have to stay calm. Getting overly excited like that is going to cause her to have difficulty breathing and you saw firsthand what that leads to."
"Too many more incidents like that Jason and Sam's recovery could be put in serious jeopardy." Robin tacks on to the end of what Patrick was saying.
"Exactly." Patrick says picking up Sam's chart to make some notes. "So if you being here is going to cause another episode like that… than I'm afraid you're not going to be allowed anymore Jason."
"Patrick!" Robin says shocked that he would go to such an extreme.
"I know what we discussed Robin and I'm sorry, but Sam is the patient here. My main concern has to be her recovery and putting a stop to anything that might impede that. And if that means I have to kick Jason out of Sam's room, then that's what I'll do." Patrick looks at Jason with a serious, yet apologetic, look on his face.
"I would like to see you try to keep me out of here." Jason says in a bone chilling voice.
"I will call security on you Jason!" Patrick yells.
"I don't care who you call!" Jason counters taking a step towards Patrick, his fists clenched.
"That is enough!" Robin shouts rushing to stand between the two of them. She first turns to Jason. "Patrick is looking out for Sam's best interest, that is his job Jason, but that's not the only reason. He cares for Sam as much as I do. He isn't saying this just to keep you away from Sam…he's trying to look out for her. Do you understand?" After Jason jerks his head in semblance of a nod she turns to Patrick. "And you know better! Jason is worried about Sam Patrick. He isn't trying to cause her more harm and you know that! So stop treating him like he is! Threatening to keep him out is only going to cause more damage to be done when he hurts someone to break his way back in here." Shaking her head in annoyance Robin steps out of the way. "Now both of you shake hands and agree that you're going to work together from now on to help Sam." When both men just continue to glare at each other Robin sets her hands firmly on her hips. "Do it or I'll call Epiphany in here and let her deal with you two! And she won't be as nice as I am."
Sighing Patrick holds out his hand. "I'm sorry."
"Yea…uh…me too." Jason says looking uncomfortable apologizing. After a briefly shaking Patrick's hand Jason turns back to Sam's bed and reaches out to run a finger down the side of her face, but pulls back at the last second. "So what do we do now?"
"Now that Sam's woken up we know that her head trauma isn't as serious as we were worrying it might be."
"She can't remember Patrick. That seems pretty serious to me!"
"Jason I'm not exactly sure what you and Sam went through in Mexico, but whatever happened Sam ended up with three bullet wounds, massive head trauma, and other contusions. Her mind is probably protecting itself right now. My main concern is with her other injuries, not her memory. That will come back in due time, nothing we do is going to get her to remember."
"Jason, do you know exactly how much Sam doesn't remember?" Robin asks.
"I'm not sure." Jason says shaking his head. "She mentioned something about Miami and then jumped straight into asking about Michael and Kristina."
"Ok…and when did they first run off?" Robin asks trying to form a timeline in her head.
"It was about four or five days ago now, but I'm not sure when Sam found out."
"How did she even know?" Patrick asks. "She hasn't been back in about two years I thought."
"She hasn't…Alexis called her and asked if she would help to try and find them." Jason says all the anger coming bubbling to the surface at how ignorant Alexis could be and careless with her oldest daughters life.
"Why would Alexis ask Sam for help? Does Sam have experience with this sort of thing?"
"I don't know what Sam has been up to since she left. I know she went into hiding or at least changed her name after she left."
"How do you know that?" Robin asks curious.
"Because I would ask Spinelli to see if he could find anything on her and his searches always came up empty for the last two years. It was almost as if Sam fell off the face of the Earth and after all this time she just reappeared." Putting hand over his eyes Jason's shoulders shudder. "For awhile there I worried that something had happened to her, because no one can hide from Spinelli for very long, but somehow Sam managed it."
"Well if anyone could do it, it would be Sam. She knows how Spinelli works almost as well as you do Jason. She would know what things to avoid doing."
"You said she mentioned Miami?" Patrick asks trying to stay on subject.
"Yea. When I asked her if she knew where she was she said Miami."
"Do you think that's where she's been living these last two years?"
"Possibly…" Jason says, but then stops to think about it some more. "Probably…she always was going to go to Miami, whenever she decided to run. She loves the beach so much…and the sun. I can't believe I didn't think of that sooner."
"Ok so what do we know?" Robin asks rhetorically, hoping to get Jason to stop mentally kicking himself. "That Sam's memory goes fuzzy somewhere within the last four days. She recognized you right away Jason and she remembered that Michael and Kristina were in trouble. So she hasn't lost much of her memory."
"Yea, ok. So it sounds like Sam has just blocked out her whole experience once going to Mexico. That's not uncommon considering what she's suffered." Patrick says, trying to relieve some of all their fears.
"How long will it be before she gets those memories back?" Jason asks, not only concerned for Sam's well being, but also because Jerry had been talking to Sam. And he's just crazy enough to tell all his plans and secrets to her assuming that she wasn't going to survive to tell anyone else. Jerry wouldn't care if Sam didn't remember; she was a liability he couldn't live with and would try and take care of as soon as he got the opportunity. That was part of the reason Jason wanted to stick close to Sam, he wasn't going to give Jerry the opportunity he was looking for.
"Jason you know probably better than anyone else that no doctor can answer that with certainty." Patrick says, knowing that wasn't the answer Jason wanted to hear. "Her memory will come back when she's ready for it to…no sooner."
"So this is all just one big guessing game! We aren't sure when Sam's going to wake up! We don't know how much damage was done to her brain! We don't when she's going to get her memory back! I'm so glad we have a crackerjack team like you working here at General Hospital!"
"Jason that's uncalled for." Robin says, her temper sizzling under the surface. "You know that Patrick is a great doctor. He's done surgery on you, Michael, and Sam and you all ended up better for it. He is doing the best he can…we all are."
"I know that…I just feel like it's not enough. After everything Sam's been through, this just doesn't seem fair."
"Maybe what you're feeling is guilt?" Patrick says quiet enough for Robin not to hear, but Jason did.
"You're right. I do feel guilty. I blame myself completely for Sam lying in this bed! Not only because it was probably one of my bullets that put her there, but also because it's my fault she ran from Port Charles in the first place. And who knows, if she had never left she may never have been in Vera Cruz and none of this may have never happened." Looking down at her peaceful face Jason sighs. "I have to live with that! I have to live with the fact that even when Sam isn't part of my life she still gets hurt by me! I'm like a poison, I harm everything I come near, but I'm just extra lethal to Sam. I don't even have to be close to her and I'm putting her in harm's way!" Overly stressed and overly tired Jason starts to shake and before he does something he would truly regret he turns and heads to the door. "I need to get out of here. Please do everything you can to help her and make sure no one but the obvious can get to her. And if she wakes up while I'm gone tell her I'm sorry." Stopping half way out the door to look back at Sam one more time he closes his eyes and silently prays. "God am I sorry." Walking away the door closes with a quiet thud behind him.
Robin stares at the door Jason just disappeared through Robin then turns to look at Patrick. "You had to say something!"
"I'm sorry! I couldn't help myself. Everything about this has my perspective skewed. I feel like no matter how much I try to detach myself from Sam and the situation and look at it as just as doctor should I can't do it."
"I know…and I'm sorry for yelling at you, but I just worry about Jason." Robin says giving Patrick a comforting hug.
"How can you be worried about that coldhearted, muscled hitman! It's his fault that Sam is in this condition!" Maxie shouts walking into Sam's room. "Spinelli is following after him now, we just saw him storming down the hall like there was fire at his heels…couldn't get out of here soon enough could he? He waited long enough for appearances sake, but now that that's done he can wipe his hand's of Sam all over again."
"Maxie that's not fair." Robin says trying to keep the calm in her voice. "You didn't see Jason when Sam first came in, he was a wreck."
"He was probably worried that Sam was going to die and Alexis would have charges brought up against him for her murder. Because that's what it would've been. Murder!"
"Jason didn't murder Sam, Maxie." Patrick says while grimacing, his headache was coming back. "She's going to be fine."
"Fine!" Maxie shrieks walking towards Sam's bedside. "You call this fine! Look at her. Sam is fighting for her life AGAIN! And it's Jason's fault AGAIN! It's ridiculous that this is happening AGAIN! It wasn't enough that he forced her out of Port Charles!" Maxie says before quickly turning and holding a finger to stop either from interrupting her. "And don't say he didn't, because I know he did! I just don't know how." Turning back to look at Sam she reaches out to hold her hand. "He forced her away from her family and friends and the life she had created for herself here! He isn't going to rest until he's finished her completely!"
"Maxie I really think you need to calm down and think about what you're saying."
"I won't calm down until there is justice for everything that he's done. All the pain that he's caused can't just be forgotten…I won't let it."
"Maximista." Spinelli says walking into the room and coming to stand at her side.
"Where did Jason go?"
"I lost Stonecold in the stairwell. He was moving at such a pace that I feared he would fumble and wind up in a bed next to Fair Samantha, but he thankfully did not. I didn't dare follow him assuming he was seeking a private setting, something that would be impossible with my presence."
"You all are too good to him. He honestly doesn't deserve it." Maxie says fuming and crossing her arms over her chest.
"Maximista I don't think you're giving Stonecold enough credit. I know that doesn't have the cleanest record when it comes to morality, but he truly cares for Fair Samantha…he really does."
"How can you say that Spinelli?" Maxie says shaking her head. "When so much of what he's done points to the contrary!"
Stepping close and lowering his voice so only Maxie can hear, "Remember the picture?"
Silent Maxie stares a Spinelli for a moment before quickly looking back down at Sam. Chewing on her lower lip Maxie's arms drop to her sides and she sighs. "Fine! You may have a point, but that still doesn't make up for the fact he might've shot her!"
Robin, Patrick, and Spinelli all share a tired look before looking back at Maxie. "He didn't mean to!" They all say in unison.
------
Jason wasn't sure where he was going. He just knew that he needed to get away from everyone. He needed to sort through what he was feeling, because all he felt right now was confused. He had been so angry and bitter with Sam after he had gotten out of prison that he had reacted without thinking, they both had. And before he got a chance wrap his head around everything that they had said and done, she had left. She up and vanished from his life. Now it was two years later and she was back… but what did that mean? Would they finally get a chance to resolve the problems of the past?
His walking ended up leading him to a place he hadn't been to since the night Sam had left Port Charles. Just like tonight he had been walking trying to clear his thoughts and just like tonight he figured that it wasn't just a coincidence that he ended up here. At Lila's grave. Crouching down and brushing away stray leaves Jason's thoughts go back to that night two years ago.
Staring down at the headstone Jason sighs and shoves his hands into his pockets. "I failed you baby Lila. I failed you and I failed your mother. I was supposed to be there for her. Hold her hand through all the bad times and celebrate in all the good. I was supposed to protect her…instead I was the one that hurt her. I turned my back on her. Breaking every promise I had ever made to her and to you. What makes it worse is I'm not even sure why I did it. How could I do that when I loved her so much? When I still love her… She didn't deserve what I've put her through, not when she stood by my side." Crouching down and putting a hand on the stone Jason lets out a shuddering breath. "She left…and not just me, because that isn't surprising, but she left everything she had built here. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I drove her away, have been for awhile. I just didn't think she actually would do it… when she first came into my life she made many attempts at running away, but she never made it far. She always came back and it took me awhile to realize how glad I was that she did." Feeling hot tears rolling down his cheek Jason furiously wipes them away. "I don't think she's going to be coming back this time. She thinks this is what I want. Thinks this is for the best. She doesn't realize how wrong she is, but that's my fault too. This is all my fault." Standing and pulling his hand back and putting it in his pocket Jason looks up at the sky and all the stars before staring back at Lila's grave. "I failed her."
He hadn't been back to Lila's grave since that night; he felt he had no right being there after everything he had done to Sam. He had failed Lila and desecrated her memory with his actions. But now Sam was back and without even meaning it he was back at Lila's grave, almost as if he was lead here. That had to mean something.
"She's back baby girl. Your mother has come back. Not necessarily by her choice, but what's important is she's here. She's hurt and it's my fault again. I just can't seem to be anywhere near her without causing her harm, but I've come to find out not being near her hurts too. How do I find a solution for that? She stayed away for two years and I have all these questions for her. I want to make things right with her. But I have to wonder if I even deserve it after everything. Maxie pointed out how terrible I can be and she doesn't even know the worst of what I've done. Maybe Sam would just be better off if I stayed away and let her return to the life she created for herself. Maybe I should just let her go…that's truly what would be for the best for her." Jason hadn't even notice the storm clouds, but when there was a clap of thunder he looked up at the sky and noticed the rain clouds moving in fast. "I don't know what to do Lila. If you were here I honestly believe your mother and I would still be together, and we would all be happy, a family. But you aren't…and Sam can't ever have kids and I have Jake and then there's that whole thing with Elizabeth. It's a mess. I'm a mess." A chilly gust of wind causes Jason to shiver and stand up. "I don't know how to come back from all that. Or if we even can." Feeling drops start to fall Jason zips his jacket all the way to keep as dry as possible. "I gotta try though."
------
Feeling an immense pounding all around her head Sam slowly raises a hand and massages her temple, but all that did was cause more pain, but now it was noticeable in her arms and chest and the rest of her body. Shifting slightly she lets out a low groan and stops moving immediately. Catching a movement out of the corner of her eye she turns her head as little as possible to see Maxie and Spinelli both sleeping on the couch in a very uncomfortable condition. The noise she heard was Maxie stirring in her sleep, probably trying to get more comfortable. With as little movement as possible Sam surveys the rest of the room, noticing it's just the three of them there. In the pit of her stomach she felt something she wasn't sure she wanted to name, but it felt like disappointment. Sighing and then wincing in pain Sam tilts her head back and rolls her eyes. "Ok so it looks like the only movement I can manage at this point is blinking!" she says in an angry whisper, trying not to wake up Maxie and Spinelli. Closing her eyes Sam tries to remember what's going on.
She remembers waking up in this same room, which she recognizes now as being one of the private rooms at General Hospital; which means she was back in the last place she planned to be…Port Charles. She also remembered Jason, a very vivid memory of him holding her had with what she could only describe as concern in his eyes, but that couldn't be right. Could it? Her thoughts were all so muddled and she was confused. She remember the phone call with Alexis and then fighting with Stephen, but after that it was a mess. A vague picture of traveling, she thinks there was a plane ride, but she could swear she spent lots of time in a car too. She didn't know what any of it meant and she had no memory of how she wound up so beat-up and at General Hospital. What made it all worse was the harder she tried to call up the memories the worse the pain in her head would become. Tired, in pain, and frustrated Sam slams a hand down in the bed and that causes a sharp jab of pain up her arm which almost causes her to cry out, but at the last second she pulls it back in. "This is ridiculous!" She murmurs she says closing her eyes again.
"You're awake." Robin says standing by the door, speaking softly.
"Yea. " Sam says opening her eyes. "How long have I been out?"
"The first time or the second?" Robin asks coming closer.
"Both." Sam says resigned.
"Well I'm not exactly sure how long the first time, but we're thinking it was about 30 hours." When Sam's eyes go wide Robin holds up a reassuring hand. "But that's including your surgery."
"And the second time?"
"A couple of hours, tops." Assured that everything was looking normal Robin turns to face Sam. "Ok I want honesty here…how are you feeling? Scale of 1 to 10."
Groaning Sam closes her eyes. "Oh don't worry I'll be honest…I hurt…I'm thinking 10 times 10. There isn't a scale invented to cover how much pain I feel." Opening her eyes to see Robins face, Sam stares into her eyes. "What the hell happened to me?"
Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly Robin shakes her head. "I don't think I should answer that. I think you should talk to Jason about that, since it was the two of you who were down there."
"Down where? What happened? Why was I with Jason? Tell me something Robin…please."
"I can tell you that you were brave…if it wasn't for you and Jason, who knows what would have happened to Michael and Kristina. And I can tell you that you are one strong woman."
"That's it?"
"And I'm glad that you're back." Robin says smiling and reaching to squeeze Sam's hand. "And so is Patrick."
"Well I'm not staying." Sam says quickly.
"Well you will be for awhile." When Sam starts to argue Robin holds a hand up to stop her. "You aren't going anywhere in the condition you're in and the best way to get better is to rest…not stress and fight your treatment every step of the way."
"So you're saying I need to be a good patient and listen to my doctors?" Sam grumbles.
"I'm not naïve enough Sam to actually believe you're going to do that…I honestly doubt you're even capable of it. I'm just saying that it will be easier if you do."
Taking in everything that Robin had said Sam sits in silence for a moment before looking back around the room, her eyes resting briefly on the two sleeping on the couch, before coming to a stop looking at where Jason had been standing when she woke up before. If she closed her eyes she could see him standing there again, practically feel him holding her hand. After all this time he still could affect her. Looking back at Robin she clears her throat. "Where is he?"
Robin was confused at first at the abrupt change in topic, but she caught on without having to ask he who. She obviously was thinking of Jason. "He had to go."
"Had to? Or wanted to?" Sam asks wryly.
"Had to." Robin says firmly, noticing the doubt in Sam's face. "I don't know what's going on or what happened, I'm not going to pretend that I do either. But I do know that Jason was truly concerned for you Sam. He was an absolute wreck the whole time he was waiting for an update and even after you were out of surgery he wouldn't rest until you woke up. And before you make some smart remark…he wasn't just concerned of Alexis having charges brought up against him. He was concerned for you."
"How do you know?"
"Because I've seen Jason in and out of this hospital, whether he was the patient in the bed or the friend in the waiting room. He only gets that look…and you know the look I'm talking about. The one where he looks like he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and his eyes are so full of grief that all you want to do is hold him close. He only ever got that look when it was you lying in that hospital bed, when it was your life on the line. He loves Carly and those boys, he would risk life and limb for Sonny and the rest of the people he calls friend…but none of them can bring that look to his face."
"Things have changed since all of that Robin." Sam says shaking her head. "I don't think that look applies to me anymore."
"I'm just saying what I saw. And that wasn't an indifferent Jason Morgan." Squeezing Sam's hand, Robin lets it go. "But I should let you rest…before I go I'm going to give you another shot of pain meds."
"Oh thank god!" Sam sighs.
Laughing Robin pushes the medicine through the IV and waits as it quickly does it's magic. "Get some rest."
"Mmmkay. Tshanks Robnn." Sam slurs with half lidded eyes.
Shaking her head and grabbing the chart Robin notes the dosage she had just administered before putting it back. Turning to leave she sees Jason standing on the other side of the door staring at her. Quietly exiting the room she smiles. "Hey. You just missed it. She was awake and very lucid. Definite improvement."
"Really!" Jason says looking relieved. "Did she say anything?"
"No…she had a lot of questions though. I told her she would have to ask you."
"Of course she has questions…I have questions too."
"Well you're both just going to have to talk to each other…I've always found communication works best. Just don't yell. Or Patrick will threaten to kick you out again."
Rolling his eyes Jason crosses his arms over his chest. "I'll promise to try not to yell, but that's the best you're going to get."
"I figured." Robin says smiling. "I know how you two work." Looking back into the room and noticing there is nowhere for Jason to sit with Maxie and Spinelli on the couch Robin turns back to look at Jason. "I'm assuming you're going to be staying here indefinitely."
"As long as Sam will let me…yes."
"I'll see what I can do about getting you a recliner."
"Thanks Robin." Jason calls after her as she heads down the hallway. "And I don't just mean for the recliner."
"I know." Robin says watching Jason hesitate. "Jason!" Robin calls before he opens Sam's hospital door. "Sam is afraid or maybe concerned I think might be a better word for it."
"Of what?"
"Of you…I mean…Shoot I didn't mean that the way it sounded! Sorry…I'm tired and not really thinking clearly." Sighing Robin runs a hand through her hair. "I meant…I think she's concerned to trust that you care."
"Of course I care!" Jason says irritated.
"I know that Jason, but whatever has happened between you and Sam…it's left her with lots of doubts."
"Yea…ok. Thanks for letting me know."
"No problem…just thought you should know what you're walking into." With nothing left to say Robin walks to the elevator. "I'll try and get the chair up here soon." She says pushing the button and waiting for the doors to open.
Waiting until Robin disappears on the elevator Jason quietly opens the door to Sam's room and shuts it slowly behind him. Walking to Sam's bedside he reaches out and picks up her hand and gives it a light squeeze. "I have a lot to make up for Sam." Letting her hand go Jason sighs and turns to look out the window.
"Jason…" Sam says breathlessly. Turning to stare at her Jason notes right away that her eyes were still closed and she hadn't moved. She was just talking in her sleep. "Jason." She says again. Reaching out he runs a hand through her hair, brushing her bangs away.