Still not getting any reveiws, or favorites/story alerts. I've had 54 different readers though, so without further questioning, I bring you the story ^-^
Disclaimer: I dont own The Hunger Games.
The next moring the gravity of the situation hits me full force. Finnick's charm kept it at bay most of the day but this morning, wakeing up at 4:30 in the morning surrounded by silk sheets hits me hard.
I sit on the floorer of the shower weeping for the life I know I will never have, all the words I have never got to say and all the stories I've never been able to tell. The shower is extravegant in its self, making me cry ever harder. Sobs wrack my body so hard it hurts, I try to stop crying several times but it only makes my cry harder. The gentle, charming smile of my husband I will never have and our children dancing in the yard makes my cry even more.
I stand up, exausted but I'm no longer crying, I take these both as good signs. I make my way out of the bathroom trying to stay on my feet.
I finish showering feeling slightly renewed, pulling out clothing from the dresser. I wonder what it must be like for Finnick and Mags sending multiple children into the games only to watch them die. I couldn't handle it.
Shelly walks into my room at six to inform me that the train will be ariving in the capital in an hour. She is wearing a dress theat curves around her body like a shere. I bit my lip to keep a giggle. Its so silly looking I find myself actually loving it.
I brush my teeth and look in the mirror for what might be the first time since skin looks almost completly white, my eyes hardly seem to look green anymore and long story short, I'm a living wreak. I put down my tooth brush and walk out.
Finnick is telling an animated story to Shelly about what sounds like it may be about one of her capital friends. They both look up when I walk in and Finnick pats a seat next to him.
"Good morning Annie!",He greets as I sit in the chair besides him.
"Morning Finnick!",I say trying to sound cheerful.
He slids a cup infront of me that contains warm black liqued. I wrap my hands around it, peering into it when a warm blast of steam hits my face. It feels good,comforting in an odd way. Odd things are my favorite.
It takes me a moment to notice that Finnick and Shelly are both looking at me. "Its coffee, finnick explains, they don't have it back in district four.",He informs me. "Its made out of.. well what is it made of?",He askes, directing this question at Shelly, now glancing down at his on glass of coffee.
"Its made of coffee beans, that grow on trees", Shelly informs us loudly, like she picked them right off the tree this morning. "Hmm, I thought it would be a bit more complicated if it stumped Finnick Odair", I said. Finnick was trying to bite back a smile, unsure rather to be happy or upset at my comment. Finnick sips at his coffee.
Because of Finnick's example, I take a small sip of my coffee, followed by a large mouthful. Finnick is watching me with an amused expression on his face.
"Don't drink it plain though. I went ahead and doctered yours for you. I figured you were the five surgar cubes kind of girl. Careful though, their addictive.",He says motionin towards the dish of sugar on the center of the table.
"Wow , your just full of advice today", I say.
"Well I do have a tribute to protet and all",He says leaning back putting his chair on two legs.",says Finnick.
"Mhm, If a tribute holds a blade to my neck and demands to know how many suger cubes I like in my coffee I'll be sure to tell them five.", I say smiling.
Finnick lets his chair fall back to the floor. "Thats my girl!",He beams.
For whatever reason, Finnicks comment leaves a tingly feeling inside me. I decide its the coffee.
Mags makes herself know by stomping loudy into the room. She sits on the other side of Finnick, reaching her hands out for a cup of coffee. When she drinks it, it seems like all her anger melts away. I'm pretty sure if anyone was to hurt Mags, Finnick would kill them on the spot.
A scilence lulls the room, I stand up, deciding to eat breakfast when Marvine enters the room.
"I want to speak with Annie, he demands", His voice is rough, I always thought it would be soft though. I think it suprized the others to when Finnick says " Then speak to her, glad you found your voice, by the way.",He says bluntly.
Finnicks voice is so much different when he is talking to Marvine is when he is talking to me, the confusion is quickly overshadowed with panic as Marvine makes his way to me. I think Finnick must have felt the same way because I hear his chair scraping the floor and Mags whispering, "Finnick, its okay."
"Can we talk?"He asks his head nodding to the door. I glance at Finnick and he seems tense but Mags seems relaxed and nods gently.
I turn back to Marvine and offer him a smile. "Sure" I say, maybe he is just a loud person. we walk out the door before he speaks again.
"Mags was talking to me about joining the career pack this morning, but I don't want to. I want to join you from the start and stay that way until one of us is killed."
I have no idea why Mags and him were already talking stratagy when me and Finnick havn't even started. Maybe its just because Marvine isn't a very talkative person, and me and finnick can't stay serious for very long, from what I'm learning.
"Sorry I'm kinda jumping to the gun here, just think about it and talk to Odair or whatever about it. Just let me know before the interviews", he says
Marvine is waiting by the door, unsure if I should go first or not. I slip through the door, hoping to save him from anymore trouble and he follows after me. I finally return to my seat with breakfast.
Shelly tells us the plan for the day. When the train arrives t the station, and for the next half hour we will be at the training center. There, each district has their own floorer and sleeping quarters. We will take a look and relax for a few minutes, and then its off to the remake center, There we will be prepped by 3 people that are reffered to as our "prep team" then we walk for our open ceromonies and then we are free for the night.
I'm not sure what I'm more nervous about. Being naked infront of three people I don't know or riding around in a chariot infront of millions of people and live television.
Finnick catches onto my discomfort quicky, even though I havn't said anything at all. I have been fiddiling nervously with the linen of my napken, though.
"Don't worry about the prep. Its not the most comfortable thing, but it doesn't hurt. The capital and district 4 have very different ideas of fashion, but you'll look wonderful" He says, his green eyes don't leave mine as I nodd, and I have to accept his words as the truth. Its hard though, because I can remember all of the rediculous costumes tributes end up in. I'm not afraid to look stupid, but I don't want to end up naked infront of everyone.
Somehow I feel Finnick won't let this happen though. I already feel my trust in this man is to great. I've never wanted to trust him at all and he's probably the person I trust most.
"From what I've seen, district 4 and the capital have different views on everything", Shelly says. "I saw a wedding in district 4 a couple years ago and I was shocked at the rediculously old dancing I saw!", Shelly continued.
"Oh you must have saw the celebratory dance at wedding. I hate it.", Finnick explains.
I feel laughter bubbling inside me and I know exactly what he is talking about. Its odd but I can't help but feel like its one of the best because of it. I slide my chair back and stand up.
Finnick doesn't miss a beat. He shakes his head and says "No Annie don't do it", His cries are so melodramatic. He is a much better actor than I thought.
"You mean this dance?", I say innocently.
"Annie Cresta!",Finnick cries.
I jokingly start spinning and kicking, replicating the popular wedding dance. Finnick groans but suddenly, he's beside me doing it. He grabs my hands and we're both spinning in quick circles and high kicking like we are on stage. I can here Shelly's scabdalized gasps and Mags laughter and Marvines bewildered chuckles every now and then, but the dining room is a blur of bright, overbearing colors. I catch Finnicks gaze and he is laughing louder than I've ever seen him, and I think to myself that he actually looks happy for once and I problably look happy too, which is so absured given where I am, but what about this isn't absured? I'm a few days away from my death and I'm doing a wedding dance with Finnick Oair on a train heading towards the capitol. I would not belive my life if I weren't living it.
I get a stitch in my side and slowly stop spinning. I double over laughing, gripping my stomach and resisting the urdge to vomit all over the carpet. Finnick collapses right there on the floor and I follow in suit, resting my head on my knees until it stops spinning.
"I thought you hated that dance?",I say between gasps. finnicks voice is humored as it drifts towards me.
"I do. It's still fun though! Especially with such a pretty lady."
I don't have to look up to know he winked.
"Your such a flirt," I mumble in exasperation. I'm smiling, though.
"Thats why all the ladies love me"
"Crazy" Mags says, she sounds like she is smiling though. "Both crazy."
At that moment, crazy sounds like a fine thing to be.
I finally get a chance to ask Mags what I've wanted since yesterday when we are at the training center, waiting to ride to the Remake center.
Marvine is in his room (like he always is, although he has warmed up a bit), and Shelly is in the other room trying to make sure the car will be arriving on time. Mags and I are sittin in comfortable silence in the living room. Finnick left almost the second we got here, after getting a call that made him purse his lips tightly. I wonder if he's somehow in trouble. As he was walking out, he told us goodbye but seemed so forlorn and scared that I wanted to ask him whats wrong. I glanced at the others, but no one other than Mags, seemed to think anything of his behavior. It was in that moment, watching them watching Finnick, that I decided no one else sees him in quite the same way I do. Wether that's good, or bad, I havn't determined. For all I know, I'm watching something tht isn't there.
Mags is watching the television but I get the feeling that she isn't really.
"Mags?", I ask hesitantly.
"Yes?", She turns around and offers me a gummy smile.
I fiddle with the bottom of the silk, lavender shirt I put on this morning. I remember her less accommodating response to Shelly asking this same question, and I despertly don't want Mags to dislike me.
"Why did you want to be Marvines mentor and not mine?" I finally push past my lips.
She leans forward and puts her hand on mine. "Nothing personal child, your lovely.", Her words warm me until I remember she didn't answer my question.
"Did Marvine not want Finnick?" I press carefully.
Mags leans her head back on the chair and her eyes drift shut. For a second, I think she is going to sleep.
Then she smiles.
"Same." She finally whispers
My eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Same? whats the same?" She opens her eyes again and looks at me, like I've stopped speaking her launguage.
"Finnick and you. You and Finnick", She says like its crazy for me to not have know.
If I don't think about what she's just said, it makes me happy. It's insane, but I think maybe Finnick and I could be friends. I think maybe we are already. I hope we are.
I continue to think it through and I get more confused as I do. Finnick Odair and I are almost polar opposites. He's strong, confident, likeable and capeable. I'm weak, skittish, shy and uncertain. And sometimes, a bit strange.
"Finnick and I are alike? In what ways?" I question.
She settles a wrinkled and liver spotted hand over her heart. She opens her eyes again and I feel like she is peering deep inside of me.
"In all ways that matter.", she finally answers.
It would be all to esy to write Mags off as senile, but despite her age and her difficulties getting around, she seems wiser and anyone I've ever known. Which confuses me even more.
"Mags we only met just two days ago", I remind her. She keeps smiling that same smile.
"And you don't even act like it at all.", She says, as if it was a complete and perfect rebuttal to my objection.
She stands shakily and makes her way down the hall to Marvines room, and the more I think about what she said, the more I realize it was.
My skin is stinging as my prep team works on my body, and as soon as they ask me about my family, my hear it as well.
It is easy enough to accept that I am going to die, but it is hard to accept that I am never gong to see my family again. i already miss them. I fing myself wondering more and more about the afterlife and what will actually happen when I die. I wish i had cora here to ask about it. Lonliness cripples me, I would give anything in the entire world just to have one more conversation with my sister again.
"I have an older sister, and a younger brother. And a dad" I reply. The woman who posed the question smiles kidnly. Her skin is bright pink and her eyebrows and eyelashes are metalic silver and gold. I think its charming in its own way. The other two make almost snide comments at her and seem to pass judging looks frequently, but they have been kind enough to me. One of them even complemented my hair.
Finnick was right about it not being as bad as I though. Stripping down infront of them had made a blush creep all the way from my sholders to my hairline, but they simply smiled and said I was adorable. It made me feel better, until I remembered where I was headed. I don't think adorable is what I want to be seen as when I enter the arena. I wish there was a way to control blushing.
"Splended! I have a brother as well, infact he's a game maker this year!" Ellonise replys. Her fellow prep team members did not even offer their names to me and I was to scared to ask. After the first hour I get used to being naked infront of them, and I start to feel more at ease. Elloise and I small talk a bit, but the room is mostly silent.
I wish there was something to keep my mind busy because I'm starting to miss my family so much, again. After I'm waxed, conditioned and polished to their hearts desire they leave the room. Elloise wishes me good luck as she goes. I pull the robe back over me as I wait for my stylist. I don't even want to think about what cleaning off or using the bathroom is going to be like in the arena, with all of panem watching.
My stylest is a woman, much to my relife. Her name is Mauve, her skin is covered in multicolored triangle tatoos that all join together. Its quite and interesting affect. She's quiet to, quiet enough for me to pick it up in the first few minutes we've been together.
"Whats your favorite part of the sea?" she askes me. Her voice is mousey, but trusting.
"The waves.", I finally say. "It's nice that the waves are never still, it gives it a purpose, almost.", I say.
"I've never seen the ocean but I've always wanted to, maybe I'll go there someday.", She says.
If I win would she get to? Probably, the stylists always go on the tour with the victor.
"I hope so, its beautiful.", I say. Another silence falls over us as we finish lunch, not saying anything else.
"Well, would you like to see your outfit?", She askes. I nod. She reveals it, and at least I'm not suprized. It's impossible to see its form without it being on, but I'm almost positive that I'm going to be the sea its self.
It takes an hour to get the costume on completly. The costume itself is made of a silver-blue material that shimmers in the light like the sea does when the sun hits it. It has one side that goes over my right sholder and its completly sleeveless on the other side. It coveres my breasts, but then leaves my stomach bare. The bottom is a wrap skirt that knots over my right hip bone and goes all the way over to the floorwe past my bare toes.
All my left over skin is painted to look like it is covered in waves. I have to bite the inside of my cheek to stop from laughing because the paintbrush tickles. All in all, it's not awful, It's at least comfortable and at least I'm not dressed as a fish like last years tributes.
"I was hoping you would say the waves are your favorite part of the ocean.", Mauve admits. She touches the crest of a wave painted on my forearm. "Your last name inspired me. Cresta. All the pictures of the ocean I've seen have beautiful waves like this, with the white crest."
I smile. "Its great, Mauve. Thank you.
She smiles back shyly.
As we walk down the ground floor of the Remake center, I feel less like a freak inside my costume and more protected.
It's nice to know that when I am presented in front of all these people, it won't be as myself. It will be as something stronger than myself. The chariots are lined infront of the giant doors. Most of the tributes are already in theirs with their district partner.
I spot Marvine in the district 4 chariot, talking amiably to his stylists. It makes me happy that he has found someone he can talk to. Mauve and I walk up to the chariot and she helps me climb in, making sure I don't step on my skirt.
Marvine is the ocean as well, with waves painted all over his bare chest and arms with long silver pants. A few moments later, and the opening ceremonies are beginning. Our stylists disappear as the district 1 chariot heads out into the city circle.
2 follows, then 3, and I almost lose balance and topple over when the District 4 horese begin trotting rather briskly. Marvine steadies me and I try to thank him, but the roar from the capital citizens is so loud I know he can't thank me.
Finally, the chariots stop in front of President Snow's mansion. He addresses us and thanks us for our bravery. I want to say something about how it wasn't a chice, how most of us were forced aginst our will, but its the kind of thing you can only say to yourself.
The final lap takes us back to the Training Center. I am climbing out of the chariot, listening to Mauve and Marvines stylist talk about how great we looked when someone knocks hard into my side, sending me falling of the chariot.
I only scrape my hand when I fall, but I feel awful. This is the second time Panem has seen my fall down. I'm sure I'm going to be one of the first targets in the arena, as I've got to look like such an easy one to kill. Marvine and Mauve help me up, and I see finnick pushing his way through the crowds, assisting Mags. His eyes are locked on mine and I know he saw me fall. I roll my eyes at him, trying to brush the entire thing off, but I'm scared.
He delivers Mags (it's difficult for her to maneuver through large crowds), and then immediatly turns on his heel and starts over to the District 2 mentor.
I watch him arguing in confusion for a full minute before I realize that one of the tributes from 2 must have been the one who knocked into me. I had originally thought it was an accident, but his reaction was making me feel it probably was not.
I think that made me feel even worse. I wanted to ask Mags why someone would knock into me, but I stop myself before I do. I realize just how innocent and pathetic that question would be. It's almost as bad as asking why people are mean.
I am going to have a hard time adjusting to the arena. I am going to have a hard time accepting that people want to kill me, instead of assuming the best of them. Finnick pushes a finger into the District 2 mentor's chest and walks away cooly, his eyes hard. I am reminded then of how scary Finnick Odair can be.
When he joins us back at the chariots, he grabs on to Mags again and gently helps move her through the crowds once more. I follow Marvine and his stylist, picking carefully at the gravel in my palm. We're all shoved in an elevator with District 7. I'm thankful we have only a short ride, because the male tribute was shooting hostile glances at Marvine, for whatever reason.
It isn't until dinner that finnick finally says something. Shelly and Mauve are talking about a new television show in the capitol while Mags, Marvine and his stylist discuss the other tributes' costumes for the opening ceremonies.
Finnick turns to me, his eyes still not quite right. He has scratches too, down his neck. I stare at the dumbly for a minute before I realize there is nothing they can be but fingernail scratches.
I'm sure is prep team will remove them immediately tomorow, but I can't belp but feel peculiar when I see them. Concerned for his wellbeing is the dumbest feeling I have. The second feeling I have is shock. Oh yes, this is finnick Odair, and here is proof of his conquests he makes in the capitol, that I so obviously forgot about. Or just didn't care about. "Distric 2 is full of snakes." He says. I force myself to shrug.
"It's no big deal." I keep my fists balled up in my lap though
. I only have to look back up at him to know that he noticed this too, but that he is not going to say anything about it. I definitely think that Finnick and I might be the kind of friends in the limited way we can be.
"Are you okay?" I ask before I can stop myself.
"I'm Finnick Odair, I'm more than okay." He says with his trademark confident grin.
"Of course," I laugh, but I feel like I could cry, because I know that deep down, he is hiding something.
Mags finishes eating first, and then askes Marvine, Shelly and the stylists to come to the living room. I know she is aming to get Finnick and I alone, and I can only accept that she truly believes what she daid this morning.
I guess she just really wants us to be able to be friends. I am greatful, because having a frien with me right now would be a luxury I desperatly need. A friend is what I wished for earlier today when I missed Cora so terribly.
A freind is what I need more than anything, someone to trust with how I am feeling and someone whose opinion I trust. I think Finnick fits bth those qualifacations, in the narrow way he can with how briefly we have been acquainted.
"Finnick, what do you think happens when someone dies?" I force myself to speak before I chicken out.
I take a moment to appreciate that this is the second time I've made Finnick look shocked. He recovers quickly though.
"Got death on the brain today, Cresta?" He asks. He's smiling, but its sad this time. Its tragically beautiful. It makes my heart ache.
I trace patterns of waves onto the table. I kind of miss the waves on my skin. "I've been in that sort of company,"I mumble thinking about the way the district 7 triubte glared so hatefully at Marvine and the way the District 2 tribute knocked into me, just for the purpose of knocking me down.
Finnick shifts in his chair, turning to face me better. His eyes drift down to my palm again, but he doesn't bring it up. "
What do you think happens?" He askes, real curiosity in his voice.
My eyes roam around the room as I ponder this. His gaze stays steady on me as I do this, and its not hard to trust someone who can look you in the eye so honestly.
"I'm not sure. My brother thinks people haunt the shores as ghosts." I smile a bit, thinking about Andy and his Maiden of the Sea. "I hope we just stop, but maybe our energy does linger around in a way.
Finnick cocks his head, his eyebrows dragging down.
"Why would you hope we just stop?" His eyes bore into mine as if he can lift the answer straight out from my own head.
I gaze back, an this much eye contact makes me feel strange. For the second time I feel as if he's X-raying me. It's not the same as when Mags stared at me like she was seeing into my mind. That was more like she could understand things about me that I couldn't yet. With Finnick, I felt like he is seeing everything as it was and talking to me about it, whithout opening his mouth once. I guess it felt like being understood in a way.
I break the stare finally, glancing don at my lap. "I think those who suffer in life should be able to know that there is a place to end somewhere. That even though they've had so much pain, they can look for an ending. Like a long, perfect sleep where you are never plagued with nightmares or never have to be woken up. And then you eventually turn into flowers."
I glance back up at hem, and the soft smile is back. I think its his best one. Its my favorite. I think my heart might melt. No, my heart already has melted.
"I think that is one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard about death." His voive is honest and a blush rises to my cheeks. I hope he doesn't notice but the way his eyes twinkle make me sure he has.
He continues. "I have always hoped for that too. I mean, I can't think of a world where heaven and hell could exist, because how woul you judge who is good and who is evil? what criteria would realistically work? Almost everyone is suck a mixture of both."
He stops talking and I have a feeling we are both picturing his trident enter the bodies of the other tributes in his games. I fight the urge to set a comforting hand over his hand.
"No one deserves to be burned for eternity anyways." I say once he's finally looked back up at me.
"Not even Snow?" He asks.
"Not even Snow." I affirm.
He reaches forwrd slowly and pushes my hair back over my sholders, and my heart begins to pound in my chest, and I know my face is red again. It's ridiculous because he is finnick Odair and he is touchy with everyone. But now that I think about it, he hasn't been touchy with me. Something about this gesture sets a warm feeling in my stomach and its al i can take to keep from giggling out of nervousness.
"I like the way your mind worksm Annie. Its special." He says. Serious Finnick Odair is something different in itself.
"Like yours," I blurt out thinking about what Mags told me this morning.
He grins "Like mine. But nicer."
"That's what Mags meant when she said we are the same." I say instead of asking because I realize that it must be true. I am going on the assumption that Mags told Finnick the same reason, and I turn out correct.
"Yes I think so too." He says. A pause falls over us. The recaps for the opening ceremonies must be beginning soon. I'm about to suggest we move to the living room when he speaks.
"I think I can answer your question now." I nod.
"When someone in the arena dies, they are finally at peace. And they bring you one step closer to coming back home."
I don't think he knows, but his answer was all I needed to handle all of this.
A/N What did you think? This chapter wasn't as hard for me to write. Do you want to be in the story as a tribute or someone from the capital?! Well here is your chance. Please send information about your charcter in a review and you will be added in! Yay :D
Thanks for reading please R&R