A/N: This chapter is Anzu/Yami once again, focusing on their first scheduled meeting! Nothing new you need to know that I haven't already written in other chapters.
Disclaimer: Not Mine!
"Mazaki-san, come in," A voice called softly from inside the classroom as she waited in the doorway respectfully. When she was nervous she always tried to be as polite as possible so even if she did mess up she wouldn't upset anyone at least.
And she had good reason to be nervous...today was their first scheduled meeting. She felt like she was floating through time as she entered the room at sat across from him, producing the homework sheets that had been assigned that day.
The nerves she had been staving off all day and successfully ignored while she focused on dance last period suddenly came rushing back as she met that focused look that seemed to loom over her so effortlessly. Panic pressed on her chest, making her heart race faster and faster and her hands tremble slightly.
No! He expected her to be able to control herself! He should expect her to be better than this! Wait what did he say about that element? Which one? They were all the same! Closing her eyes she let the room stop spinning, then slowly dragged herself through a couple questions under his careful instruction.
On the fourth her mind drew a blank and he pressed her for the answer, bringing the panic back full force. The cycle was brutal, repeating itself until she was afraid to open her mouth for fear her voice would come out as nothing more than a squeak.
Where did her confidence go at times like this? She wasn't afraid to face her flaws or to acknowledge her positive qualities. Was it because she was with him or was it simply a fear of letting anyone see this destructive weakness inside her?
She had always been so in control, and confident in her abilities, such a random flaw truly knocked her off balance. He kept asking her what the answer was as she couldn't seem to make her brain or her mouth work.
He asked her what it was she didn't understand and she wanted to slap herself for not paying better attention, then she would look less stupid at least. She understood none of it! None of it at all! The entire concept seemed just as foreign as Marik's body was dancing next to hers or those brooding crimson eyes that glimmered with a knowledge she couldn't reach emotionally or mentally.
Ahh no, she was getting distracted again! Science, math, not eyes or bodies or...God, why was this so hard? She wanted to pay attention why couldn't she just pay attention?
Dropping her head to her hands she slid her fingers back into her short hair with frustration, the feeling of her fingernails against her scalp sharpening her awareness enough to allow her to think at least.
"I don't know...none of it makes sense," She murmured, shaking her head slowly. "I think I have it and then it's just...gone!" She felt him sliding the paper out from beneath her elbows and she sat back, looking at him with a desolate expression.
"We're done for today," He announced quietly and cold shock hit her like a pail of icy rejection.
"I-I'm sorry Mutou-san," She stammered, standing up quickly. "I'll try harder next time, it's my fault I'm doing so poorly. I'll focus harder in class and I won't let anything get in the way from understanding" –
"We're done the science but not the lesson," He interrupted calmly and she paused in her apology, cheeks still burning with embarrassment for her stupidity as she hesitated, uncertain what he meant.
"Sit down," He said leaving no question in his voice and she complied meekly, smoothing her skirt nervously as she did so.
"Hands on the desk," He continued instructing and she immediately complied though he had never raised his voice. She cursed the obvious trembling and wondered if he had asked her to do this in way of humiliation. She knew some teachers like that...
Immediately she balked at the idea of that person being like them. So she had no proof that it was him, it was always possible he had simply been being friendly or even flirtatious last time but her heart contradicted that, insisting that this was the same person.
She had seen and heard of many of that persons frightening judgment games called the 'Yami no game' or 'shadow game' and she knew that he would never have used such a device on one of his friends. Those games were meant to judge, they brought out a person's true characteristics and so were destined to be games of punishment for those who were undesirable human beings.
She had enough confidence in herself that she was not one of those people nor would he believe her to be one. This gave her enough calm to straighten in her seat and stop the trembling of her fingers, raising her gaze to his though her heart still raced when amber met solemn crimson.
"Yes Mutou-san?" She asked, unable to mask the small quiver in her voice.
"This is not a game, Mazaki-san," He told her seriously and she flinched wondering at the double meaning to his words.
"I never thought it was, not even for a second," She replied, mind spinning. Was he assuring her by saying it wasn't a shadow game or reprimanding her by telling her not to take things so lightly? Her answer worked both ways but she desperately wanted to know. His harsh expression grew marginally softer so whatever question she had answered, it was the right one.
"I am sorry though, I haven't been trying my best. I allow myself to get distracted which is unfair to you" –
"Stop apologizing," He said flatly and her mouth clamped shut automatically. Again, his voice and expression hadn't changed a bit yet his words stirred both fear and respect within her, enough so that she obeyed his commands without question. The reaction only seemed to deepen his frown though.
"I'm not angry with you," He said with a sigh, looking weary for a moment though it could have been fatigue or impatience, she was uncertain.
"You're worried about messing up, which you shouldn't be because I'm not your formal teacher and you wouldn't be here if you didn't need help. Tutoring is not about being smart it's about becoming smart, your intelligence on the other hand was never in question. Aside from that, I know a thing or two about this learning disorder. Having an Executive Functions disorder is much like having an Attention Deficit Disorder, it makes keeping your mind focused and on task extremely difficult. Every word out of my mouth plucks at the strings of your concentration, tempting your mind to explore every thought associated with it. You're also nervous, which makes sense since you are alone in a room with a strange person," His mouth twitched slightly at this and she blinked simultaneously.
Strange person? Where did he get that from?
She didn't know him personally before because she had believed up until the end that he was Yuugi but that didn't mean he was strange just that she didn't know all his personal details. It wasn't like he'd stuck around afterwards for her to find out either.
She felt a little righteously indignant, almost as though he had insulted her by referring to himself in such a way. He chuckled quietly, startling her out of her thoughts. He couldn't help it; the opportunity was too perfect to not bring up the small but defined pout on her face.
"I see something I said struck a chord," He said and she glowered at the teasing smile around his lips. She considered confronting him right now, she had the opportunity and the means since no one else was around...but that seemed like cheating the game and that was one thing she knew for sure –he did not like cheaters.
"Of course not," She replied with a smile and though he didn't back down she could help imagining him pouting on the inside at her stubborn response and then she just had to giggle. He closed his eyes, enjoying the melodious sound.
"It's nice to hear your laugh, Mazaki-san," He said, opening them again to look at her with a familiar glimmer in his eyes, teasing her by leaving out the again. He was certain she had him figured out at this point, the Anzu he knew wouldn't flirt so heavily with a man she didn't know so she must be playing with him, making it into a game for them both to enjoy.
He could see her strategy already. It wasn't very complicated, all she had to do was wait for him to slip up and if she made a mistake like she just did, all she had to do was deny it. If that annoyed him, he'd have to blow his cover even if she already knew. That would require losing the game though which he didn't plan on doing. Until she formally accused him he wouldn't say a word.
"Um...thank you..." She said, flushing slightly at the compliment and he mentally smacked himself for forgetting the other part of such a simple strategy. She could also pretend she didn't know who he was, sowing all sorts of doubt in his mind and making it seem as though he were intentionally flirting with her. Damn these double sided words! He had never played a game with so much potential for embarrassment.
"Forgive me if this sounds too forward, but to remedy the nerves we might work better together if we knew a little more about each other. Working with strangers is not nearly as easy as working with friends," He offered suavely.
She sighed internally, heart fluttering...respectfully. Right, respectfully. His wisdom had always been very charming to her. Of course she used to have a crush on him...but that was two years ago. Surely such feelings didn't remain.
"I would like that," She said quickly. He nodded, eagerness filling him up inside though his expression remained unreadable. He had waited a long time to figure out what his own feelings were for Mazaki Anzu. Long ago he had adopted Yuugi's...now what were his own?
"Was I right about why you were so nervous earlier?" He asked to start things off. Her expression which had been constantly caught between horror and concentration when she was working was extremely unnerving, especially when reflected in those dark red tinted pools that her irises made around her pupils. Was it really his mere presence that could bring out such a look?
"It's not really because I see you as strange...It's just, I've always known I was bad at the math sciences, it was just a fact and if I thought if I worked hard enough I could do well anyways. With this new disorder I feel like I've lost that right somehow and I don't like not being in control. On top of stresses with dance it makes it hard to focus sometimes," She said, a little embarrassed to be revealing so much to him over such a simple question. He just nodded thoughtfully though.
"What's your favourite color?" She nearly dropped out of her chair as he asked the question with a perfectly serious expression on his face out of seemingly nowhere.
"Eh?" Was all she could manage as she tried to find the connection. He just smiled, an expression that said there was no way he would tell her unless she could figure it out. Fine, she could do that.
"Its" –she stopped herself abruptly as her pride nearly made her mouth runaway on her. At the same time she couldn't lie to him either. "Um...it's crimson, like violet and red mixed," She said, avoiding his gaze as she felt heat rising in her face.
Ugh, why couldn't she just say red? That was so embarrassing. Had she been watching his reaction more closely she would have seen that he was merely puzzled. Giving it a moment's thought he couldn't figure out what would embarrass her about a simple color.
Given crimson was a very specific answer, but he still didn't see the connection. Maybe he wasn't winning this particular game as easily as he had thought he was. She still possessed the ability to surprise him.
"What's your favourite class this semester?" He decided to continue in his line of random question, the way a stranger might treat another stranger. She looked up again with a small smile.
"Science or dance," She replied easily and he was irritated to find that she had once again surprised him.
"Why science?" He had to ask, the question nearly burst out of his mouth.
"Because that's the class all my friends are in. None of the guys take dance except for Bakura-kun so even though I get the most accomplished I don't enjoy it as much." Especially now that all her thoughts were consumed during that class by the after school practices with Marik that had just begun.
It only took one day to realize that he wasn't patient but he wasn't rude either and mistakes weren't sneered upon but he was quick to correct. He truly was a serious dancer which intimidated, inspired and irritated her all at the same time.
"What about your female friends?" His gaze sharpened as she looked slightly uncomfortable.
"I've always gotten along better with guys...I know how bad that sounds but I've been through a lot with those guys, no silly girls could even compare. The only girl I've ever been close to is Miho-chan," She said, wondering if he'd heard of her reputation as a slut yet. It wasn't usually broadcasted much outside the dance rooms but there were times...
"Nosaka-san?" He questioned curiously and she nodded. "Ah...she's a very sweet girl. She worries about you," He said, eyes distanced as though remembering something before snapping back to her. It was her turn to be surprised.
"She does? Why would she worry about me?" Anzu asked, frowning a little. Miho didn't seem all that worried when she spoke to her in dance class except for warning her to get to know Marik before judging him or trusting him.
"She didn't tell me," He said with a small fathomless shrug, "I noted that she was distracted and she said she was thinking about you, that was all." She would have to ask Miho herself then, a conversation that could grow very sticky.
"Mutou-san what is your favourite color?" She asked suddenly and he raised an eyebrow, obviously not having expected her to turn the questions back on him.
"Well it's like truth or dare isn't it?" She asked, confidence restored by their lighter conversation. His expression was blank, reminding her that there was probably still a lot about this time that he did know about.
"You asked me questions and I answered now I get to do the same? It's like...breaking the ice," She explained as well as she could and he nodded slowly.
"If it makes you more comfortable," He said and she realized it did. Once again in her need for confidence and control she had become subtly defensive. This truly was a type of lesson, even if he wasn't teaching her grade twelve science.
"So?" She prompted and he thought for a moment.
"Brown," He finally said and she stared at him disbelievingly.
"Brown? Why such a boring color?" She asked then realized what she said and immediately regretted it. How rude, to say that to a teacher! He just chuckled slightly.
"Brown isn't always boring, it depends what value you put in it. It can be warm and familiar, welcoming I suppose. Plus, wood is brown, like a tree which is a symbol of support and growth," He said thoughtfully and she could only stare, awed by the depth of everything his said. It was like his mind was a great maze, each thought twisting this way and that to cover all the angles.
"How did you get so wise so young?" She grumbled quietly, realizing she was jealous of his ability to judge things so well. When someone asked her what her favourite color was she just said 'crimson' and when you asked him he came out with some philosophical answer!
When she glanced his way again his lips were parted slightly but no sound was coming out, a pained look crossing his face as he searched for an answer. She didn't understand at first then felt a giggle bubbling up inside when she realized what she had done.
It was only a stray thought, she hadn't really focused on what she was saying and no doubt he didn't realize it was just a saying. He thought it was a legitimate question in the game! And how could he answer it without losing the much larger game they were playing?
The giggles were threatening to escape, even though she wasn't sure she wanted him to lose to fast or so easily. This game was proving far to interesting for that.
"I wouldn't consider myself wise," He said suddenly and a mix of relief and irritation rose within her at his quick thinking. "I simply thought through my answer...isn't that what you did? After all, crimson is hardly a common color," He questioned, hard put not to be amused as her cheeks turned an instant cherry pink. She wondered if there was steam coming out her ears because it certainly felt like it.
"Ah...crimson is...a beautiful color," She stammered, and he hid his amusement to save her anymore embarrassment, though he was still curious why she had such a strong reaction to something so simple.
"Is that the only reason it's your favourite color?" He pressed and she raised to hands to her cheeks, feeling the heat radiated back on them and nodded quickly before her mouth could give her away again.
"Must seem fickle compared to your reasoning, huh?" She managed once she trusted herself not to blurt out that it was her favourite color because it had always been his hair and eye color that she used to differentiate him best from Yuugi and convinced her they were separate people not just separate personalities. It seemed like such a silly reason now that he was her TA and well, a man compared to a girl who was only in high school, a girl who hadn't seen him for years!
"No, certainly not. It wouldn't make sense for it to be your favourite if you thought it was ugly would it?" He replied lightly in that infuriatingly calm voice. She looked up, feeling shy for a moment, wondering if she was reading too much into that statement.
Seeing his once again blank expression she was sure she had. How could she presume to be his favourite, let alone think that he found her beautiful? The stress was seriously getting to her this past week.
"I think that's enough getting to know each other for one day. Will you be coming at this time again sometime?" He asked, gathering his papers together as he glanced at the clock and she immediately snapped back to attention.
"Y-yes. I have a commitment after school most...well...every day...but I will be here at three thirty sharp if that's alright with you Mutou-san. I wouldn't want to in convenience you..." She trailed off in a worried way, looking at him, though it wasn't in the overly apologetic to the point of being cripple way she had earlier and for that he was grateful.
"I told you, I'm always here. That would be fine," He assured her and she smiled radiantly, getting out of her chair to grab her bag, slinging it over her shoulder. Once again he noted that she was in street clothes rather than her uniform and he vaguely wondered why as she made her way to the door.
"Mutou-san?" She called back to him and he looked up, face withdrawn and serious once again. She wondered when the next time his more playful attitude would come out again. That person had always been very serious...perhaps she could leave him something to think on that wouldn't seem to forward. A small thanks for all the times he had saved her.
"I wasn't entire truthful," She began, edging slowly out the door so she could take off before he could question her once she got this out, "Crimson is a beautiful color...but it's also a very rare eye color. An old friend of mine had eyes like that." Then she was gone with a small sad smile, like she had never been there, leaving him to ponder her words.
A/N: The end of this chapter made me sort of sad for some reason. I guess I just don't like thinking of Yami as an 'old friend'. Also, I tried to capture what it feels like to have EFD/ADD but it's really hard to describe to someone who's never experienced it. Think of it like a whirlwind of nonsense constantly following you around! I hope people enjoyed it and the next chapter will be up soon! Please review with constructive criticism or compliments; they help so much in the writing process!
Here's a preview for the next chapter:
"I would like to see you dance sometime," He said musingly before guiding his gaze back to her face and wondered if he had overstepped some sort of line by the genuinely surprised look on her face. Her mouth opened then closed as though she didn't know what to say and he winced remembering the delicate grey zone he had been avoiding.
"Well like I said...I practice every day after school before I come here in studio three. It's not illegal to come and watch," She said sounding almost shy despite her confidence in her abilities and the invitation grabbed his interest.
Romantic? Maybe...or maybe not.