Author's Note: The prompt was, "A known mistake is better than an unknown truth."
Promises, Promises
I do. Cristina's words still rang clear in Owen's mind as if it were yesterday. Well, it was yesterday, he thought, opening his eyes to the dim light of dusk that bathed their honeymoon suite in a rosy hue. He glanced over at Cristina, who lay softly snoring beside him. He could feel her breath tickling his skin with each exhale. She shivered slightly – the covers having shifted overnight – and subconsciously cuddled closer into the warmth of his bare chest. Owen smiled and carefully pulled up the blankets, cocooning them together. Cristina let out a sigh of content.
He loved mornings like these – when he could simply absorb the sight of her and revel in having her near. And now, he would have mornings like these for the rest of his life because Cristina had said, "I do."
Even though his arm was currently being used as a pillow and he couldn't see it, Owen could feel the unfamiliar weight of his wedding band on his finger. It felt permanent, and it felt…right. Like it was always meant to be there.
It always would be there.
Owen resisted the urge to pinch himself and make sure he wasn't dreaming. When he'd first met Cristina and kissed her, he didn't know if he'd ever see her again. He'd long learned that Iraq didn't allow for certainties. But now, he was no longer in the army. Now, he could make plans – plans that involved spending the rest of his life with the woman he loved.
There was a phrase that he'd heard time and again while overseas, an Arabic proverb: "A known mistake is better than an unknown truth." Lord knew, he'd made plenty of mistakes, especially when it came to Cristina. Last year alone was a record high.
It still pained him to think of what he'd put Cristina through. It had certainly not been his intention to catalyze a chain of painful events when he'd asked Teddy to come on as Cristina's cardiothoracic mentor. If he had known about Teddy's feelings for him, he never would have called her. There were other cardio attendings and other war buddies, but there was only one Cristina.
He had made a mistake.
It had been a mistake of disastrous proportions, wreaking havoc on their lives. Seeing Teddy had brought back all the baggage and unwanted memories of war, triggering his PTSD to the point of confusion. According to the proverb, things were better off now that all of it had come to light. Sure, Teddy could finally move on. And yes, it had brought Cristina and him closer.
But it was no excuse.
He had caused Cristina to question his feelings for her. And that was something that never should've happened. And he'd make sure it'd never happen again.
His biggest regret was balking at her question. "Do you love her or do you love me?" The heartbreak in her voice played over and over again in his head, weighing heavily on his conscience.
When he'd said his vows, he was promising to make it up to her every single day, to never make feel alone again. He would prove to her that he was – and would only ever be – in love with her, Cristina Yang. That it had always been her from the moment they'd met.
That was the truth.
And because the truth always bore repeating, Owen whispered into his sleeping wife's ear, "I will always love you."