All Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, again I'm just borrowing them to feed my own addiction

A/N - The first few chapters do not hint much of the story to come but are necessary in defining the person Bella will be as the story progresses.

Thank you for the reviews, they go a long way in motivating me to keep going. This being my first shot at this and all.

I stepped into the entry way, calming my errant nerves as I walked further into the house. Sunlight from the large windows illuminating the large room that I'd spent countless hours in. The memories surged back with a vengeance as I took in the room that looked so much the same as it had two years ago, with the exception of the furniture being covered in dust cloths and many of the personal items that made this house a home missing.

I could clearly picture Emmett sitting on the edge of the couch, elbows resting on his knees, game controller in hand, yelling animatedly at whatever game he was playing while Rosalie looked on with a bored expression on her face. I wasn't surprised that I missed Emmett, he had fully embraced me as his human little sister. It was the tinge of longing to see Rosalie that floored me.

A small snort escaped at the realisation " Ha, I'm finally losing it"

I fingered the chess pieces, set up on the board collecting dust. I recalled how the family had told me of their dislike of taking on Edward or Alice in this game of strategy because they "cheated". The psychic and the mind reader, their abilities making them nearly impossible to beat. I recalled however a game of almost epic proportion between Edward and Jasper. The memory brought a smile to my face. This wasn't a chess match that had lasted mere hours, but days. Both had used their abilities to their advantage, until as per the norm the chess board had ended up flipped and flying through the room.

Thinking of Jasper sparked my last memory of this room, my 18th birthday. That night was essentially the catalyst for the family's leaving but I didn't blame Jasper and had forgiven him before I'd even left this house for the last time that night. How could I blame him for giving in to what was essentially his nature. Besides, something I'd come to terms with was that even if that night hadn't happened Edward would have still left at some point. He'd always been obsessed with my humanity and frankly being immersed in a world where you are the natural food source was going to lend some threats to said humanity. It was just a matter of sooner rather than later. Poor Jasper though, having to shoulder the blame for this event. Over the last couple of years I'd come to realize that the entire family had to shoulder some of the blame for Jasper's lack of control. They hadn't placed a lot of faith in his control and well when your entire family keeps expecting you to screw up and try to eat the human well it can become a self fulfilling prophecy. It was because of this that I'd never gotten the chance to know Jasper very well, something I deeply regretted.

I looked towards the stairs, unsure if the fragile hold I had of my emotions would be shattered if I were to venture up those stairs and to Edward's own personal space, his room.

"Suck it up Bella, you wanted a goodbye. It's not like you're going to have this opportunity again" I chastised myself

Tentatively I slowly made my way up the stairs, my hand gliding along the smooth railing. I felt like a condemned man walking to his execution.

"Get a grip, you've faced blood thirsty vampires and lived to tell about it, some of your closest friends are shape shifting wolves, it's just a room!" my pep talks were starting to take on an air of exasperation at myself.

I couldn't help but think, it's his room though. The one thing in this house that was completely him. The memories awaiting me there were not entwined with the rest of the Cullen family. They were of my time spent alone with Edward.

Just a room, Just a room, Just a room I chanted internally to myself as I opened the door.

I almost had to laugh at the first thought that jumped to the forefront of my mind……."Its so clean."

Gone were the scattering of books and journals littering many of the surfaces. The furniture was the same but everything was in it's place. What shocked me most was that everything was in it's place, it looked as though he'd taken almost nothing with him. His books were lined up on the shelves, all his collections of music still organized in that OCD way of his. I stepped into the room and was immediately aware of how much this space still smelled like him. I thought this would bring me to my knees, such a physical reminder of him. I took in a deep breath, enjoying the scent more than dreading it.

"hmm that boy always did smell heavenly." I smiled, recalling how he'd told me it was all part of the façade.

I ran my fingers along the spines of the books on his shelves and the cases of his cd's as I walked around this space that was so essentially Edward. I felt almost peaceful, being amongst his things. I'd spent two years hanging tight to my memories of all things related to him, at my lowest points using them to assure myself that he had existed, that there had been a time that he had loved me, even if he didn't anymore.

Then there it was, the one thing that had the potential to shatter the tenuous hold I'd had on my grief since stepping into this house and this part of my past I needed to let go of. Sitting solitary on one of Edwards many shelves was a picture frame. I knew what picture I'd find enclosed in the elegant wooden frame. My teeth chewed on my lower lip, my breathing becoming more shallow as I contemplated whether I could handle all that would come with looking upon the photo in that frame. I reminded myself yet again that this was what I'd come here for, well technically more than what I'd come here for but thanks to Alice for seeing that I needed this.

I carefully took the frame down off of the shelf, closing my eyes and taking a calming breath as I prepared myself to look upon the Cullens for the first time in two years. I slowly opened my eyes and looked down at what I'd been longing to see for so long, their faces.

It was a photo taken in the clearing where the family so often played baseball. Immediately I felt the sting of tears as I sunk to my knees. Sobs broke loose from my chest as I stared at the stunningly beautiful faces of the Cullen family. Carlisle and Esme, kindness exuding from them even in the photo, then Emmett larger than life with the mischievous look he always had on his face, his arm around Rosalie, her extreme beauty jumping out at you . Next was Jasper, his blonde curls falling over his forehead, a serious look on his handsome face. The next part of the paper image brought my sobs to a fever pitch, my breath coming out in gasps as I rocked myself back and forth on the floor of Edwards room hanging on to the framed photo for dear life. Alice……her dark hair jutting out in every direction, her arms wrapped around me as she kissed my cheek and on the other side of me…..Edward looking down at Alice and I with that crooked grin on his god like face. I don't know what spiked my grief more, seeing his face after so long or realizing for the first time what I no longer felt. I missed Edward, or was it the idea of Edward I missed more. The thrill of your first love, feeling wanted and the sense of belonging I'd felt with his family. It was like a sudden epiphany, I was no longer in love with Edward. I could let him go, and with him the girl I used to be. The feelings were raw, and tore through me. I hadn't realized until now how hard I'd held onto him, not wanting my feelings for him to disappear. But they hadn't disappeared really, just changed, to go along with how I myself had changed. No more was the innocent naïve girl that had fallen so in love with this mythical creature. In her place was me, a little jaded, a lot more cautious, with a maturity I hadn't yet possessed when I was with Edward.

I lost track of how long I sat rocking back and forth on Edward's bedroom floor, my body wracked with sobs as I was hit with all of my self realizations. I took gulping breaths to calm myself, surprised at how freeing it was to let out all of the grief I'd been holding in for so long. I stood, reaching out to place the frame back in it's place before deciding to take it with me. They had taken a piece of me with them when they left me and Forks, I wanted my own piece of them to take with me into my uncertain future.

Uncertain to me anyway, the words from the little pixies letter reminding me that the all knowing Alice seemed to have the inside track on what my future held. I couldn't help but remember how often I'd been told how Alice's visions are subjective and could change based on what people decided. I couldn't help but wonder if my decision to finally close the door on this part of my past would have any bearing on her visions for my future. No matter, for now my future was in my hands and for the first time in two years I could look towards it with some hope rather than allowing my past to eclipse it. I was no longer worried that I would forever mourn the loss of my first love. I knew without a doubt that I could begin to move on from here.

I backed out of Edward's room, taking one last look around before shutting the door. I leaned forward and placed my forehead against the door, letting my lips skim the wood.

"Goodbye Edward, now we're both free." I whispered as I turned and walked down the hall to the stairs.

I'd gotten what I'd come here for and so much more. I'd wanted closure but in it's place I'd received a sort of absolution. I placed the key on the mantle, knowing they would find it if they ever, who was I kidding they are immortal. When they returned to their Forks home. I opened the door, locking it, taking one last look around attempting to put everything to memory. There were no tears as I closed the door. Only a new and foreign feeling of excitement and hope as I walked down the steps of the Cullen house for the last time and towards my future.