I know that this is Friday and you all were hoping that Sunday I would have posted, but my sister doesn't give me a lot of room for down time and I didn't even open my word document until late Sunday night. But that's just an excuse and a very poor one. I'm just going to say I'm SO sorry! You guys are so great for sticking in with me and my posting problems. I love you all for it! And this update is a little longer than my others, to make up for how short the last one was.
This chapter was sort of a struggle for me because I really had to delve into an emotional side of both characters that I struggle with, especially Jason who is so unexpressive on the show it's hard sometimes. I also tried to work in some humor since I worry sometimes that I get to emotional and too sad. You guys will stop reading if I don't try and lighten it a bit! So this chapter took a lot out of me. A lot of deleting and rewriting went into getting this one finished, but I must say it's one of my personal favorite chapters in this story. I hope you all agree! But enough about me and my thoughts…on with the update! ENJOY!
Disclaimer: I don't own General Hospital or the characters!
Sam was sitting on the couch flipping through channels on the TV, but nothing caught her attention. She was never one to watch much television in the first place, using the device mostly for background noise. She liked to normally pass her time working on her cases, Stephen always made comments about how Sam needed to get a life, but she ignored him. He wouldn't understand that she hadn't wanted one besides her work. Work was safe, it didn't betray you. Work didn't lull you in a false sense of security before pulling the rug out from under you. Work didn't break your heart over and over again, proving you a fool. Disgusted with where her thoughts had entered Sam shuts the television off and tosses the remote down on the couch. It hadn't helped pass the time anyways.
With a groan she rubs her eyes, but the image that flashes in her mind cause Sam to let out a frustrated scream and shake her head once. She kept picturing Jason wrapped in Elizabeth's embrace. It was the worst at night when she tried to sleep. She would lie in bed half the night, tossing and turning, as flashes of memories would come back of the two of them and the countless times she had caught them alone. It had gotten to the point Sam would put off sleeping until she finally just passed out from exhaustion and waking up irritable in the morning. She felt bad for her friends, but was extremely grateful for them. Stephen, Maxie, and Spinelli all did their best to keep Sam's spirit up for the past week. Which is why she forced the three of them to go out and spend the day how they wanted, they all deserved it and Sam knew they had their own lives that couldn't be placed on hold just because of her.
Maxie, for the past couple of days, would keep checking in at Crimson when she thought Sam wouldn't notice and yesterday had started to get real anxious. Sam knew that meant something must be happening at the magazine and Maxie wanted to be there, but would never leave Sam without being told to. Spinelli too had started to seem more and more preoccupied, but would never admit he had work he couldn't complete from the penthouse. And Stephen really couldn't do much work from Port Charles, but Sam had been watching him practically clawing at the walls wanting to get out and see the town. So today she had forced them all to go out. She didn't need to be babysat during her visit to the hospital. And even though the three of them protested Sam knew they would take the day and make the most of it.
The knock on the door breaks Sam out of her thoughts. Turning and eyeing the clock she knows she shouldn't be surprised that whoever Jason had sent was right on time. He and Sonny demanded nothing but promptness and excellence. Sonny didn't take idly to mistakes and if you made one you either were placed so low on the food chain to be of no significance or you never worked in the business again. Going to the door Sam had to stretch up to see through the peep hole before opening the door, leaving the chain in place. "Hello?" She says hesitantly, she didn't recognize the man and she wouldn't admit it, but Sam did fear psycho Jerry and whatever he might do if he got his hands on her.
"Ms. McCall?" The man says stepping back from the door so she can get a clear look at him. "Mr. Morgan requested me to take you to the hospital for your appointment with Dr. Drake."
Sam eyed the man, he didn't look evil and like he was plotting to kill her, but looks could be deceiving. "Are you crazy evil and working with this Jerry character who is trying to kill me?"
His eyes went wide first in confusion before shifting quickly to shock. "What! No of course not. Mr. Morgan sent me I swear. Ms. McCall call him if you'd like. Or Mr. Corinthos even can vouch for me. The name is James. James Rylan. They can assure you that you're safe with me. I promise Ms. McCall that nothing…!"
Sam couldn't help but chuckle as she closed the door and removed the chain before opening it again. Holding up a hand to silence the man she nods her head and crosses her arms over her chest. She knew she could've done what James said and call to verify he was legit, but she didn't want to bother Sonny and she really didn't feel like talking to Jason, not yet at least. "It's ok. I believe you." Sam says once he stops rambling. "You don't seem to have the crazy killer vibe going on."
"Thank you?" James says confused again. He wasn't sure what he expected when he had been sent for Ms. McCall, but the beautiful and funny brunette wasn't it.
"No problem." Sam says shrugging her shoulders and turning to grab the keys. Stepping out of the penthouse she turns and locks the door. "Besides, what are the chances that Jerry sends someone after me and they arrive at my door at the exact time that one of Sonny's men was supposed to show up?"
"Pretty slim I would say, but are you sure you don't want to call Mr. Corinthos or Mr. Morgan to be sure? I won't be insulted or anything."
Smiling Sam shakes her head and faces James. "If you were going to try anything you would've done it by now."
"What makes you say that?" James asks, curious of Sam.
"Well any self respecting crazy killer wouldn't allow their target to make it out into a public hallway where she can possibly escape or draw in a witness by causing a loud scene. You would've either forced your way in to the penthouse or coerced your way in with an excuse of being thirsty or needing the restroom. And once you had entry your job would've been made a lot easier because I, the unsuspecting smaller and injured woman, wouldn't have seen it coming. I would be helpless to you then." Taking a deep breath Sam pockets her keys. "So, since you didn't do that I'm going to have to assume that A) you're not a crazy killer and I can trust you. Or B) you are a crazy killer, but a bad one, and I'm not too concerned for myself since I'm sure I can outsmart you."
James actually chuckled at that. "You seem to have given this a lot of thought."
"Yea, well..." Sam shrugs her shoulders. "I have plenty of experience with these types of situations and have learned to look for the signs."
James heard the weariness mixed in with Sam's sarcasm and looked at her quizzically. He wasn't new to the organization, but he spent much of his time at Greystone or the warehouses. He had never actually spoken to Jason or met Sam until today. He had heard stories from the others, but everything always sounded so unreal. He was starting to wonder if the was actual truth to the stories, could Sam and Jason have really suffered that way? "That's not really a way to live your life." He finally says.
"This coming from the man who's chosen a life in organized crime?" Sam smiles shaking her head and turning towards the elevator. She freezes, causing James to almost run into her since he was following behind her. Staring at Jason's door Sam is brought back to the last night she stepped foot in the hall. She no longer was staring at Jason's door, but instead saw Jason wrapped in Elizabeth's arms. Closing her eyes Sam shakes her head to clear the image. Opening them again she stares at his door and sighs. "What were we talking about?" She asks looking over her shoulder to see James staring at her concerned.
James didn't know what exactly had caused Sam to stop and he was sure if he asked if she was ok she would probably get upset. Sam didn't strike him as the type to appreciate someone worrying over her. So he instead decided to lighten the mood. "We were discussing how you are able to watch for signs of a psycho ax murder."
"I believe I used the term crazy killer, but close enough." Sam says pushing the elevator button and turning to face him. "So you see now why I trust you don't fit the bill?"
"You did make a very convincing argument." James nods his head and scratches his jaw. "Except you left out one possibility."
"Really?" Sam says confused and staring at James as they both step on to the elevator. "And what's that?"
After pressing the button for the garage floor James shoves his hands into his pockets and looks down at Sam and smiles. "I could be luring you to my car without making a scene in attempt to kidnap you."
Sam's own smile faltered as the elevator doors closed.
------
Jason was in the garage waiting for Sam and James to appear from the elevator. He had spent the whole morning trying to find some way to talk to Sam and finally made a decision. As plans went it wasn't one of his best and he knew he risked pissing Sam off more, but Jason was willing to admit he was desperate at this point to get to Sam. She was always one to recover quickly and she would be gone soon. Time was limited. The ding of the elevator echoed throughout the garage and Jason waited as the doors open, but freezes when he hears Sam's laughter along with a deeper masculine one.
"I'm telling you! You're lucky I didn't claw your eyes out for pulling a stunt like that!" Sam says smiling and turning to stare at James as she exits the elevator. "You don't kid about something like that, not with me at least."
"My apologies." James says shaking his head and holding his hands up in as a sign of surrendering. "Never again."
"Didn't your mother ever teach you better?" Sam asks still smiling.
"My mother always had a sense of humor about these things." James says scanning the garage and pulling out his car keys. "My girlfriend on the other hand…she would react just like you."
"So you have a girlfriend?" Sam says nodding her head as she followed him towards the vehicle. Both were unaware that Jason was standing in the shadows waiting for them. "What does she have to say about how you make your money?" Sam asked without thinking, realizing too late the question was probably too personal.
"She has her concerns, but then so do I." James says, not at all bothered by Sam's question. "Both of us are just going to accept the risks and enjoy the time we have. Hope for the best and all that."
"Well that's a…well a different way to look at it."
"It's the truth, isn't it? Life isn't supposed to be easy and danger can be found anywhere." James shrugs his shoulders unaware the effect his words had on both Sam and Jason. "If you keep looking for it you're only asking for trouble. Not to mention miss out on the great moments." Sam had stopped walking causing James to have to turn and take a few steps back to her. "What's wrong?"
Jason didn't have to ask that question he knew. Sam was probably thinking the same as Jason was. That their relationship, their love had been affected because they had gone looking for trouble. Because Jason had been unable to just accept the risks like Sam had and cherish their time together anyways. James had no clue how his words hit a chord with both of them and Jason knew that he would have to apologize to Sam about so many things…and soon. He was finally broken out of his by Sam speaking.
"What? Oh nothing…Nothings wrong." Sam waves a hand. "You're both just very lucky to have found each other." With a lump forming in her throat Sam coughs to clear it. "Don't let her go, not for anything. Ok? And don't ever let the world in. It just wrecks it."
James nods his head once grateful for the advice. "Ok." They both stared in silence for a moment until James clears his throat. "Now I really should get you to the hospital. Not to mention you're an easy target standing in the middle of the garage. If Mr. Morgan heard about this I would hate to think what he would do. I had strict instructions to not break protocol and to keep you out of any danger."
"We're technically still in Harborview Towers, so I'm not too concerned since security has been brought up a notch with my moving in." Sam smiles and hooks her arm through James. "And don't' worry about Jason. Your secret is safe with me."
Jason was glad that Sam appeared to be in a good mood, but he didn't like how comfortable she and James were. Jason had never met the man before today, but Sonny really seemed to like him. And James had seemed to be eager for the added responsibility and seemed to know a thing or two about protective detail. But he wasn't winning any points at the moment. Jason didn't care if the man mentioned having a girlfriend. He definitely didn't act like it. Waiting until the two were finally near enough to the vehicle they would recognize him right away Jason steps out of the shadows and clears his throat, his gaze staring at their linked arms.
"Looks like the secrets out." James murmurs, dropping his arm immediately after noticing where Jason was staring.
Sam's breath caught in her throat. When she first saw movement from the shadows she immediately thought there was trouble, but in the next instant recognized the outline of Jason's body and then his face had been visible removing any doubt from Sam's mind it was him. "What are you doing here?" She asks crossing her arms over her chest.
"James you can go now. I can take Sam to the hospital." Jason's words were simple enough, but the look in his eyes and the tone of his voice gave away that he wasn't offering James the day off. He was telling the man to leave.
"What if I don't want you to take me?" Sam asks coming to stand in front of James so Jason's hard glare was on her and not him. Jason's eyes immediately softened.
"Sam." Jason says reaching out towards her, but she made herself out of reach. Clenching his jaw Jason quickly brings his gaze up to James. "You can leave, I got it from here."
James kept looking between Sam and Jason, knowing that the smart choice would to be to listen to his boss, but it didn't necessarily make that the right choice. "It's no problem for me to take her Mr. Morgan."
"See Jason, James can take me." Sam says with an appreciative smile over her shoulder. "Besides I'm sure you have better things to do. Business to tend to, phone calls to make, people to see, possible illicit affairs…"
"Alright that's enough." Jason says stepping forward, crowding Sam's space, forgetting for the moment James was still there. "You have got it all wrong Sam. It wasn't how it looked."
"Really? Jason? Because that's exactly what it looked like to me. It looked like history was repeating itself. It looked like you and her were…"
"Perhaps I should leave." James says uncomfortable at the direction the conversation had taken. "You two obviously have a lot to discuss and I would just get in the way." He takes a small step backwards.
"No you don't have to go. I don't have anything else to say to Jason." Sam says and her eyes showing just how tired and upset she really felt.
"Don't listen to her. There's a lot left to discuss" Jason says looking over Sam's head at the other man before returning his gaze back to her. "Sam you have to let me explain."
Sam stared into Jason's blue eyes and she could see a million different emotions staring back at her. Regret was the most evident and pain, but Sam closed her eyes and turned her head in an effort to ignore the impulse to reach out to him. "I don't have to do anything Jason. Not anymore." Sam says quietly shaking her head. Stepping around him towards the car Sam opens the passenger door and climbs in. Leaning her head back on the head rest she closes her eyes.
Jason silently cursed as he watched Sam climb into the car after the sound of the door slamming he turns back to look at James. "Give me the keys." Jason holds out his hand.
"Ah… Mr. Morgan maybe it would be for the best if I were to…"
"Give me the keys." Jason says again.
Sighing and looking past Jason at the woman sitting in the car James holds out the keys. "She isn't going to like this."
"That's my problem." Jason says taking the keys and walking around the back of the car so Sam wouldn't see him coming.
------
Sam was resting back against the headrest with her eyes closed and she heard the driver side door open. "I'm sorry about that. Jason can be pretty intense." Sam's words fade off as the door closes. "Jason!" Sam shouts opening her eyes to stare at him. "What did you do to James?" She asks turning around to see James staring apologetically back at her. Reaching for the handle Sam stops when the car starts in motion and she turns back to glare at him. "What in the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I need to talk to you."
"So you kidnap me!" She asks crossing her arms over her chest.
"I did not kidnap you. I'm taking you to the hospital for your appointment. Kidnapping implies…"
"It implies you're taking me against my own free will. Which is exactly what you are doing."
Jason lets out a tired sigh while rubbing a hand over his eyes. "Sam I'm not kidnapping you. I just would like a chance to talk to you. And since you've been dodging me, using your friends to do it, I had to do something to see you." His voice had gone soft, matching his eyes when he turned to look at her.
Sam held eye contact with Jason until he had to look away or risk crashing as he exited the garage. Once he turned his head she felt she was freed to look away as well and she did. Looking out the window Sam enjoys the view. It was the first time she had been outside of the penthouse since leaving the hospital. It felt nice to be out, even if it was just to take a quick trip to the hospital. Sam continued to stare out the window and watched as the familiar scenery passed. She could feel Jason's gaze every time he would glance at her. "What is this all about Jason?" Sam finally asks while she stared out the window.
"It's about us Sam." Jason says stopping at a red light and taking the opportunity to turn more towards her.
Sam brought her gaze back to his and shook her head once. "There isn't any us Jason. I think that night I finally realized it and it's about time you do too."
"No!" Jason says quickly without really thinking. He saw the shock fill Sam's eyes, but he didn't regret saying it, not until he saw a sadness enter her eyes.
"Jason…don't make this any harder than it already is." Sam looked away from Jason's gaze in time to see the light change. "The light is green." She says looking down at her hands.
Jason squeezed the steering wheel and eased off the break. He knew this wasn't going to be easy, but he was starting to feel defeated. "I'm not trying to make this harder Sam. I just have to explain..."
"I don't want your explanations Jason. I don't want anything from you. Not anymore!" Sam's voice was rising with every word. Turning to face away from him she takes a couple deep breaths.
"What do you want Sam?" Jason asks fearing the answer.
Sam stares out the window and watches as a park comes into view. "I want…I want you to stop this car Jason." She brings her gaze back around to him. "Right now! Just stop the car. Stop the car!" She repeats her voice even more impatient, but surprised that he was actually slowing down.
Jason finally put the car in park and turned in time to see Sam climbing out "Sam!" He says as the door slams in his face. Cursing Jason reaches for his own door handle and climbs out of the car following after Sam who was heading down a trail leading into the park. "Where are you going?" He calls after her.
Sam looked over her shoulder as she continued to walk. "Away! I just need to get away!"
"That's your answer for everything isn't it?" Jason can't help but ask as he caught up to her since his stride was twice as long as hers. "To just runaway whenever the mood strikes you, what everyone else is feeling be damned."
Sam stopped and turned. She waited until Jason was within arm's reach of her and when he was she waited a second to see if the urge would pass and it didn't. It was fast, took only a second and Jason didn't see it coming. Sam raised her hand and slapped him hard across the cheek, her hand leaving a red mark. He didn't flinch at the harsh contact, only stared at her and Sam knew he could see the tears forming in her eyes. "Don't you dare! Don't judge me Jason!"
"Sam…" Jason hadn't meant to say it. He knew he had no right, but watching her walk away just ate at him, made him feel like he was going crazy and caused him to say very stupid things.
"Because you might not like what I have to say in return!" Sam heard a gasp and turned to see they had an audience. Two older woman were sitting on a bench under a tree watching the two of them. Closing her eyes Sam turns on her heel and starts back down the path, she can hear Jason following closely behind her. After a few minutes pass she makes sure there is no one around and stops walking, turning to face Jason who came to a stop after closing the distance between them.
"Sam I didn't mean it…"
"But you obviously did Jason!" Sam cuts off his words. "That's what you never seem to understand!" She says turning to stare out at the pond.
"What don't I understand?" Jason asks reaching out and grasping her elbow, turning her back to face him.
Staring at him Sam almost wishes he could understand without her having to say the words. "You don't understand that your words, your actions…Everything Jason…Everything that you do whether you realize it or not means something. There's a reason for all of it."
"Sam." Jason raises a hand to brush back her bangs. He stomach clenching when she steps back from his touch.
Shaking her head Sam lowers her gaze to Jason's chest, not able to look him in the eyes. "There's a reason why you never told me about Jake. There was a reason why you didn't come to me with your grief over Alan. There was a reason why you believed Amelia and all her lies about me. And that reason is because you didn't trust me. Me Jason! The woman you claimed to have loved! But you didn't love me either so I shouldn't be surprised!" Sam glanced up briefly to his face and saw the flash of hurt and denial.
"If you had loved me you wouldn't have had an emotional affair with Elizabeth for months. You wouldn't have betrayed me over and over again, going behind my back and sneaking around. If you had loved me Jason, none of that would ever have gone on." She finally dared to bring her gaze back up to stare at his face and saw that he was now looking down at his feet. "So you see. Everything you do is for a reason Jason. You may not have realized it, but that's why. You didn't love me and you didn't trust me. But by the end of it all I didn't trust you either. I didn't trust you at all Jason."
"Did you still love me?" Jason can't help but ask.
Sam bit lightly down on her bottom lip. "Does it really matter?" But Sam knew without him even answering that it did. If she was going to admit it though she couldn't face him while doing so, she turned and walked towards the pond, stopping at the water's edge. "Yes I still loved you, because despite everything when I looked at you I saw the man who held me in his arms when I couldn't stand on my own after my daughter died. I saw the man who fell in love with me even when he couldn't remember me or who we were to each other. You were still the world to me Jason, even though I knew that I couldn't trust you with my heart. You still meant everything to me."
Turning back to face him Sam wipes at her tear streaked cheeks. "That's what made it hurt the most. I couldn't trust you anymore, but that didn't stop me from loving you. From hoping that one morning I would wake up and find it was all a terrible dream. That you and I would still be deeply in love and everything that had wrecked it: Manny, my mother, Ric, Amelia, Elizabeth…all of them! Everyone and everything that had come between us would be gone. And it could just be you and me again. How I hoped that that would be possible, but it never happened. Because too much was there between us and it all is still there. And time has only made it all worse." They both stood in silence for a moment. Sam had nothing really left to say, her emotions having gotten the best of her that she probably couldn't speak if she wanted to.
Jason had known he had hurt Sam deeply with his betrayal. He knew that he had made so many mistakes and had a lot to make up for. But he had never realized how much he had truly messed up. "I did love you." Jason says, his voice gruff. He coughs once to clear it. "I know you don't believe me and you have every reason not to, but Sam you have to know…You were everything to me too."
"You certainly had a funny way of showing it."
"That's just it Sam. I couldn't." Jason closes the gap between them, but doesn't try touching her. "After we both forgave each other for the night of the black out and all the repercussions that followed after it. And you were able to forgive me for pushing you away. I just didn't know how much more you could really take or that I wanted to throw at you. I didn't want to be the cause for anymore of your pain when I had already put you through so much Sam." He did reach for her now, needing the reassurance. When Sam didn't pull away Jason let out a relieved breath and brought his hand down to grasp hers. "You were always so strong and brave. Fearless when every day you spent with me put you in danger. I didn't think you could take much more."
"You didn't trust me." Sam says solemnly.
"No Sam!" Jason releases her hand to grab her shoulders.
"Yes Jason!" Sam shouts back shaking herself out of his grip. "You didn't trust me to stand by you. Even after I proved over and over again that I wasn't going anywhere. Not until you proved that I had nothing left for me here."
"I didn't mean to push you away." Jason shakes his head.
"You may have not meant to Jason, but that is exactly what you did." Sam knew that everything she was feeling Jason was feeling to. All the pain and regret. She knew because it was there in his eyes. "And it hurt Jason. No one has had the power to hurt me the way you have."
"It's the same for me Sam." Jason whispers. "No one has the effect that you have on me. When I see tears in your eyes I want nothing more to take all that pain you're feeling and bring it on myself…To save you from it. And it is only worse when I'm the reason that the tears are there, that it's because of me you are in pain. I would try everything in my power to prevent that from happening, but it just seemed to make matters worse. I would only hurt you more."
"Because you can't protect me from life Jason, things are going to happen that's going to hurt me. You can't stop that, you can't shield me from everything that's out there."
"But I want to." Jason reaches out to brush her bangs back to get a clear view to her eyes to see fresh tears swimming there.
"But you can't. It's not possible." Sam shakes her head causing the bangs to just fall back into her face. This time she brushes them out of the way herself. "James made a very great point back in that garage Jason. You can't stop the bad from happening and when you try to, when your whole focus is on that…you miss out on all the great things that are happening. And that's what we did. We were so focused on the bad. You were trying so hard to protect me, that you pushed me away. When all I really needed at the time was to be held close…to just have you there beside me and letting me be there for you. I just needed you Jason, that's all I wanted." She felt a tear escape down her cheek and swiped it away quickly. "And that was the one thing you couldn't seem to give me."
"What about now?" Jason asks and in the silence that follows he can hear the beat of his heart, loud and fast. "Is it too late for that now? Or is there still a chance?"
"A chance?" Sam says confused for a second before realization took over and she understood what Jason was asking. "You're seriously asking me if you and I could ever be together again?" Sam asks disbelievingly.
"Yea…that's what I'm asking." Jason says holding eye contact. Because no matter what Sam would say he knew her eyes would tell him all that he needed to know.
Sam's eyes grew wide and her jaw went a little slack, but she pulled herself together quickly. It took another second to tamper down the hope she had started to feel at the thought of her and Jason together again, an idea she had never really thought possible. "You can't be serious Jason. What about…? What about Elizabeth?" Sam grounds out the other woman's name. "You two seemed pretty cozy the other night." When Jason releases a tired sigh Sam keeps talking. "I wouldn't want to intrude on anything that's going on between the two of you…"
"There is nothing between me and Elizabeth." Jason says over her voice.
"You could've fooled me. That looked like a private moment I walked in on. Something I am definitely familiar with, especially when it comes to you and her. In fact it almost felt like history was practically repeating itself that night." Sam's voice rose with every word until she was shouting.
"Sam no, please believe me, it was nothing like that." Jason says purposely keeping his voice low in hope she would follow suit. She didn't.
"Elizabeth sneaking behind Lucky's back to run into your waiting arms…all while unsuspecting Sam is left believing that there's hope. That just maybe this time things would be different. But once again I'm left the fool who has the uncanny ability to walk in at the worst time possible." Sam takes a deep breath and is able to get a handle on her anger and lowers her voice. "You didn't even have the decency Jason to go behind a closed door, but out in the middle of the hallway where anyone could have seen. It was like you weren't even trying to keep it a secret. At least before you two took it inside the penthouse."
"There is nothing between me and Elizabeth." Jason says again.
"You keep saying that Jason."
"Because it's the truth!" Jason runs a frustrated hand through his hair. How was he supposed to convince Sam that he was telling the truth and that what she saw with Elizabeth was nothing? When two years ago they were in the same situation and Jason had been undeniably guilty.
"Then why was she there? Why were you two in such a tight embrace? Why Jason? Why!" Sam asks her voice cracking. "Tell me why, because the only thing that makes sense to me is that there is still something going on between you and Elizabeth."
"There isn't Sam. There hasn't been since you left. Elizabeth is nothing to me Sam." He could see the doubt in her eyes and hated it had every right to be there. "I made a mistake two years ago when I let her get between us. Don't let her do it again now." Jason couldn't take it any longer. She had been standing less than a foot away from him for awhile now, her breath brushing his face with every word. He reached out cupped the back of her head bringing her lips into contact with his. It was a fast kiss, but held so much anguish and anger and passion that Jason let it linger before pulling away to stare into her eyes. "If you want to try this again don't let Elizabeth stop you Sam. Because she means nothing compared to you."
Sam closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his. "I've waited so long to hear those words." Sam whispers.
"Believe them." Jason urges before bringing his lips back down to Sam's. This one longer than the last, he pulls away only when he feels her hand on his chest, pushing at him.
"You can't just kiss me and expect that to magically fix things Jason." Sam leans back, needing air to clear her thoughts. "A kiss isn't going to erase everything that has happened to us."
"I know that Sam. And I don't expect it to." Jason's runs a hand down her hair, loving the feel of the wavy curls beneath his fingers. "But it's a start, right?"
Sam stared up at Jason and felt her heart stop for a moment at the thought she might never look into his eyes again. Looking over his shoulder Sam thinks back to her life before Jason, then she thinks about the time she spent with him, and finally her thoughts end up on how her life has been without him. Retuning her gaze to his she raises a hand to cup his cheek. "What is it?" Jason asks, he could see a change not only in her eyes, but in her whole demeanor. And when she cupped his cheek he really didn't know what that meant.
Sam gave a small smile at the concerned confusion he was expressing. Her unexpressive Jason had truly opened up to her…Finally. "I was just remembering my life before I ever met you. And then I started to think about the time I got to share with you. Before my thoughts settled on to how I've been living these past two years without you…"
"And…" Jason asks when Sam doesn't continue her thought.
"And…I realized that as afraid as I am to get hurt by you again. I just can't imagine not being able to look into your eyes ever again. That if I was to just walk away now I might be making the biggest mistake of my life. And that, to me, is just as terrifying as getting hurt again. Losing out on a chance at a life with you all because I was too scared to try..." Whatever else Sam was going to say was silenced by Jason's lips on hers. Sam pulls away quickly to finish what she had to say. It was important. "But I'm serious Jason. If you hurt me like that again I don't know if I can take it. And I don't just mean everything with Elizabeth, but if you start to pull away from me again. I won't…no I can't accept that Jason."
"I don't expect you to Sam." Jason agrees readily.
Sam appreciated him so much in that moment, for understanding her when so many people never seemed to. "So we're really going to do this?" She can't help but ask it just didn't seem real.
"We really are." Jason says before brushing his lips against Sam in a chaste kiss. He leans in again, this time not as innocent as the last. He couldn't get enough of kissing her, he missed it. "I have missed you so much." Jason says after pulling Sam close, wrapping his arms around her, his lips buried into her hair as he inhales the scent of her shampoo.
Sam closed her eyes and released a low hum of happiness. "I missed you too and your hugs. I never felt more secure than when I was wrapped in your arms."
Jason didn't want to have to let Sam go, but he knew that Sam still needed to get to the hospital. Patrick and Robin would be waiting for them. "We have to get on the road." He says pulling back to look down at her.
Sam groans at the thought of having to go back to the hospital, but knew there was no getting out of it. Stepping fully out of Jason's arms Sam starts down the path back towards the car, but stops after a couple steps to turn back towards Jason. "Coming?" Sam asks holding out her hand for him to hold.
Jason's smile widened as he reached out and held Sam's hand in his and walked with her side by side back to the car. When they passed to two little old women Jason nodded his head in their direction before looking down at Sam who's cheeks were red with embarrassment. "What's wrong?"
"I'm just thinking about the scene we made earlier." Sam whispers, knowing the women were still watching them. "I bet they haven't seen a show like that since Jerry Springer was taken off the air."
"Jerry who?" Jason asks as they reach the car.
Staring up at him Sam chuckles as she climbs into the car. "Never mind, it was just a talk show dealing with very, very dysfunctional people." She says after Jason climbs into the driver's side.
"And you compare us to the people who were on that show? Why?" Jason asks as he starts the car.
Sam's chuckle from before turns into a full blown laugh and she shakes her head. "Just drive the car Jason. We don't want to late."
OK so I hope the longer post and the attempt at some humor makes up for my terrible absence! I know there is no excuse and I say again I am so SORRY! You guys are all truly amazing! I can't wait to hear what you all have to say about this latest update. Like I said, this one was harder for me to write since it really gets into the heart of these two and their problems. So again…Thank You all for reading. And the reviewers…YOU GUYS ROCK!