"Do you think it's possible that he forgot everything?" Kirk had waited until he was sure McCoy was out of earshot before he addressed Dr. M'Benga.
"Captain, you know Leonard better than I do. And I know, he is a master of repression. He is used to functioning under great stress, that comes with the job, but whenever something bad has happened to him, he refuses to talk about it. He just puts it somewhere to the back of his head and that is that. I believe this is what he is doing right now."
Yes, that was a good description of Bones. Kirk had known him for almost nine years now, and he still didn't know the details of his divorce and his life before he'd joined Starfleet. He never talked about it. Jim had never asked, either. He had been afraid to, actually. Afraid, that Bones would push him away and as a result wouldn't talk to him for over a week. Or that it would just bring up memories that would only hurt his friend.
"I know what you mean, but I think he really has forgotton all about the attack."
"I believe you are right. His subconsciousness is probably doing that for him. It is a common survival mechanism of the human brain and a very reasonable one, in my opinion. If there are memories that are so disturbing that it makes you unable to go on living, it is best to do away with them."
Kirk sighed. "But, you cannot delete memories from the brain."
"No, and that may be a problem. The memories are still there, they are just stowed away in the bottom most drawer, so to speak."
"And they may surface again."
"Yes. And when that happens, I just hope that Leonard isn't rock climbing or performing surgery on someone."
"Rock climbing?" Kirk raised his eyebrows.
"Well, you know what I mean. I just hope he isn't in a precarious situation somewhere, where losing your balance can mean death."
Although Kirk thought it was unlikely that Bones was going to be rock climbing somewhere, at least not voluntarily, he could name dozens of those precarious situations that M'Benga meant, that had ocurred for Bones only in the past three weeks.
"Doctor, I've talked to Spock, he would be willing to perform a healing mind meld with Bones."
"I think that would be a good idea, Captain. If we knew for sure, that these memories would never again resurface, then of course I wouldn't recommend it. Let sleeping dogs lie."
Kirk nodded to himself. "There is another reason why we need this mind meld. We must know what information the attacker wanted from Bones. Now, if you say he has repressed everything and buried it somewhere to where not even he has access to, what would that mean for Spock? Would he even find that information?"
"I am not sure, Sir. As you know, I have some experience with Vulcan physiology and Vulcan telepathy. I know that a mind meld can be very exhausting for both participants. There is always the risk of overexertion that at least theoretically could result in death. At the moment I would therefore recommend to wait at least another day, until Leonard has recovered from his wounds. And Spock should prepare himself with meditation."
"He is doing that right now. The thing is: When should we tell Bones what really happened on that planet?"
"He is suspicious already, isn't he?"
"You've seen him. He didn't believe me a minute. I think he also has a right to know."
"He will, early enough. Captain, to be honest, if anything like that ever happened to me, I wouldn't want to know."
Kirk nodded again. He was somewhat thankful that M'Benga gave him an excuse to put off telling Bones, that he had been mind raped and had possibly provided the Klingons with information that could result in the destruction of the Federation, and therefore had to immediately undergo another meld in order to search for this information in the depths of his mind - a place where he'd stowed away all other unpleasant memories that he had collected during his life. He balled his hands to fists. Maybe they would be able to find the relevant information without hurting their good doctor.
"I'm on the bridge, Doctor. Call me if there's a change." And with that he left sickbay.