A/N: Like I said in the last chapter, I've been on a roll, so you lovelies are getting yet another update before my move. Was not expecting this story to flow as freely from me as it has been but I couldn't be happier about it. You all put a smile on my face with your interest in this story. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. :)

Huang looked at her, doing a very good job of hiding the shock on his face at her confession. It didn't bother him in the slightest, he just hadn't been expecting that from the detective.

"You think?"

She cast her gaze downward, hating the way he was looking at her and fearing that he could see straight through her soul.

"Well, yeah. I mean, I've always thought certain women were pretty, checked them out, had little crushes while dating men, but everyone has that don't they?"

"If everyone has those thoughts and feelings on some scale from time to time, then what makes you think that you are in fact gay, detective?"

Olivia ran her fingers through her hair. As much as she had nothing against Huang, she hated talking to therapists.

"I don't know." She knew she'd have to say more than that eventually, if she ever wanted to deal with this.

"I think you do." He looked at her seriously. "Olivia I don't know you as well as the rest of the team, but I have heard through the grapevine and do know that you tend to bottle up feelings and hide emotions. Maybe you don't trust people easily, but I assure you whatever you tell me will stay between us, and you can talk to me. It's what I do and what I'm here for."

Despite her hesitations, she did know she could talk to him and she felt like he genuinely cared about her well being. Taking a deep breath, she decided to begin the process of opening her heart and freeing herself.

"It's Alex." She was unable to look him in the eyes.

"Alex?" He was genuinely intrigued as to where the blonde ADA fit into the equation.

"You asked me how if every female had feelings of attraction and slight crushes towards other women at some point in life, how I felt or knew that I am in fact gay. My response to that is Alex. I have, like I said, previously entertained the thought of being with other women, thinking they were attractive or chasing tail a little bit. But in the back of my mind I think part of me figured it was something I'd just get over or wanted to will it away. Until Alex came into the picture."

"The picture?" He raised an eyebrow.

"The one six. When she joined the team, I knew there was something different about her. I was drawn to her."

"Why?"

"Have you seen her?! Her response was dripping with sarcasm.

He smirked. "In case you're forgetting, detective, I am an openly gay man."

"Right."

"Seriously though, was her physicality the only thing that drew you to her?"

"No, not at all." She smiled slightly thinking about all of the things that she found attractive about the blonde. "She's driven like nobody I've ever met or known, persistent, and incredibly level-headed and smart."

"So if you know all of this within yourself, and you are able to very well articulate to me how you feel about her, why are you hesitant to admit your sexuality? More importantly, why haven't you told her any of this?"

Olivia suddenly felt herself becoming unnecessarily defensive. "Well because, I don't know if she feels the same, if she's even gay. She had a boyfriend years ago. She's out of my league. I've been in a relationship of sorts with detective Stabler for a while, and me having these feelings for one woman doesn't automatically mean I should slap a label on myself, does it?"

"Well, no. But sometimes it takes the right kind of person to break us out of our shell and make us realize what we've wanted and been missing all along. You want to enlighten me as to the relationship you have with Stabler?"

"Not particularly." She was beginning to feel like she'd already said way too much."

"I think you should. I'm sensing there's more to this than what you've told me."

"I'm sensing you need to back off."

"Look Liv, I'm not gonna make you talk, but you're not stupid. You know if you don't talk it's all going to become too much eventually."

As much as she hated him for being right, she knew he was. She inhaled, then let the breath out before speaking again.

"We've been having sex."

"That's it?"

"Yes. No.. I don't know."

"Take your time."

Heeding his advice, she took a few moments to collect herself.

"He's in love with me and I know it. Until talking to you, I hadn't and didn't know how to put a voice to my feelings to myself, let alone to anyone else. Having a friends with benefits kind of thing with him has been my way of giving him what he wants, while willing to ignore my own heart and what I need. I've always known he loves and cares deeply for me. He wouldn't let up so I finally gave in. He thinks it's more than what I feel it is. I don't want to hurt him."

"And leading him on, lying by omission, that's not hurting him?"

"Probably."

"But you don't care?"

She suddenly felt drained and overwhelmed by the heaviness of this conversation and where she sensed it headed.

"I can't do this."

"No problem. We'll stop. Like I said, I'm not gonna make you talk. You know you can come back anytime."

"Thank you."

Even though she held back more with Huang than she probably should have, even after their half-assed therapy session, she knew what she had to do and she dreaded it. Heading out of his office she figured it was now or never.

She let herself into his apartment without knocking, knowing he was there. To some this may have seemed invasive or creepy, but she simply didn't want to put either of them through the small talk and introduction bullshit. Especially knowing that he now thought everything was on the mend between them, and she knew she had outright lied to him.

"El?" she called out. "You home? We need to talk."

"Yeah I'm here." He said from his spot on the couch.

"Good." She removed her coat, hanging it, and sat down beside him on the couch, turning the tv off so she had his full attention before turning to face him.

"Listen. I had a conversation with someone today, and they really helped me realize something, and it's time I brought it up. I've been lying to you."

His stomach flipped at her last sentence. All the times he'd thought something was up came flooding back to the forefront of his mind as he waited, hoping his silence would will her to continue and put him out of the misery he was feeling.

"I said we were gonna work it out, that we'd be fine. Elliot that wasn't true, isn't true and will never be true and I'm sorry. We'll never be the kind of fine I know you want us to, because I can't love you, I don't. Not how I should, if we're trying for the relationship I know you've always wanted. You deserve something I can't give you. I'm gay."

Groaning inwardly, she motioned to the bartender for another drink. What the hell was it with songs that fit how she was feeling to a T coming on at the worst possible times. It seemed to be something that happened to her often, making her more emotional, and she hated it.

Even more than songs never failing to describe her emotions when she didn't want them to, than the fact said song now coming through bar speakers reminded her of their blonde bombshell ADA, she hated more than all of that what she had done to Elliot, and she had nobody but herself to blame for it.

Their conversation had become intense after she'd revealed to him that she was gay. Him being his thickheaded self, he made every attempt to deny her of her truth and shoot down her feelings, begging that they work it out and find a way to be together. She'd left the part about her feelings for Alex out of the equation, feeling it to irrelevant for the moment. All she could do was profusely apologize, not let herself be manipulated, and remove herself from the situation, which is what she had done. All the apology in the world though, didn't change the fact that she still had to work with him. Also, she still had to forgive herself. The latter was going to be a harder feat than she'd anticipated. As for work, maybe she'd request a new partner, she didn't know. All she knew right now, was that she had booze in front of her. Liquid sanity, and she wasn't going to let it be wasted.

Alex was walking down the street when she stopped cold, thinking she was seeing things and her mind was tricking her. Doing a double take she realized that it was in fact their top detective at the bar. She found this odd. She'd never known Olivia to be a drinker. Knowing a little bit about her upbringing, she never thought she would entertain the thought of being anything like Serena Benson had been. Her curiosity got the best of her, and she pulled herself from the window before someone realized she was peeping in, and walked inside.

"Liv?" she said as she approached her, unable to see anything but the brunette's slumped form from behind. As she inched closer, she could see she was undeniably tipsy, if not drunk.

"You know her?" the middle aged man at the bar asked her.

"I work with her."

"Take her home." He stated as he shook his head at the sad state she was in. He saw way too much of this, and told himself every shift he needed a new job.

"I will." She got right close to the older woman, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Liv? I'm gonna take you home, okay? You can't drive." She looked to the bartender. "I'll call us a cab."

"Sure. I'll take care of it. No worries." He smiled a genuine and warm smile at her.

"Thanks. Come on Liv." She turned her attention back to the detective, and was about to help her step down from the bar stool and steady herself on the ground, when she turned in the seat and looked deep into her crystal eyes.

"I love you."

A/N: Thank you all so much for the wonderful response to this story. I love y'all. New update coming ASAP, swear!