I guess I was tired of the serious stuff; this chapter is intended to be lighthearted and funny. Pretty short, because the next chapter will be more serious and I wanted at least one exclusively lighthearted chapter.
Again, I only lay claim to the mesh of words and Haley.
Reid woke up at ten, unable to sleep any longer, and went to check on Haley. Perhaps she would still be asleep, he mused, as she was a teenager and teens were that incredible species that was able to oscillate between nocturnal and normal as their hormones dictated.
Haley, however, had either woken unusually early or her brain hadn't got the chemical memo, so sleep would perpetually pass her by like an e-mail sent to the wrong address.
This posed the question of where she might possibly be, and as Reid approached the kitchen with a puzzled look, this problem was solved soon enough.
Haley was in the process of downing a Godiva dark chocolate bar, and had removed a container of strawberries from the refrigerator, clearly her next victim. She looked up and froze, as if caught in the middle of some horrible theft.
"Mind if I join you?" Reid asked, amused at the girl's deer-in-the-headlights stare.
"On the glucose-fest?" she asked innocently, expression returning to normal. "Your food, your choice. I'm just chowing because I always have a sweet tooth and seldom satisfy it."
"Won't have that problem here", Reid announced with a bit of odd pride, "I get a delivery of imported candies every week. I normally get 10 pounds, but since there's two brains to fuel instead of one, I'll change the order to 20."
"How do you stay so scrawny, then?" Haley blurted out tactlessly. "Your brain can't possibly use that much glucose and burn that many calories, can it?"
"When you make your living off your brain, and you're always encoding and storing or in active recall of information, it burns that many calories and that much glucose. You'll learn. Between the riding you'll be doing and the brain-work I'll be putting you through, you'll stay thin, trust me", he said, opening his second chocolate, this one a Ritter Sport imported from Germany, having the German text on it as opposed to English, as if to verify its origins.
"Riding?" Haley asked excitedly, popping another Godiva truffle in her mouth as she looked at Reid.
"Garcia and I made some arrangements. It seems that there's going to be a bunch of construction people here in a few days to set up several things. Oh, and some supply companies are willing to supply you quite generously. Then there will be five horses shipped here, two of which are pregnant and one of which you know."
"Ee!" Haley squealed in excitement, tackling Reid in a hug, nearly knocking him off his feet. "Did I ever mention that I LOVE YOU?" She began to hug so tight that Reid's structurally-lacking ribcage began to feel near utter collapse.
"Hey, um, Haley, want to try coffee?" he asked, looking to distract her. "Have you ever had it?"
"Nope", she said, releasing her boa-constrictor hug and looking at her new caregiver excitedly, "but I'm willing to try."
…and so at eleven o'clock in the morning, one Dr. Spencer Reid, lacking any common sense whatsoever, gave an already-excited teen who had literally never experienced caffeine or large amounts of sugar at once three cups of over-sugared espresso.
It can be imagined what happened around that household before Reid went to work, the only thing of interest (other than Haley's caffeine-induced ventures, which will simply be left to imagination) was that Reid received a call with instructions to show up at the office as opposed to the field.
At one o'clock sharp, a frazzled Reid and a wacky-shack-worthy Haley walked (in Reid's case) / bounced (in Haley's case) into the office.
"She was absolutely timid last night, so I didn't even go near the two of you", Rossi observed when Reid sat down. "What did you do to her?" He wore a grin, clearly amused, but wondering at the cause.
"Apparently, she's never had coffee or large amounts of sugar before." Reid shot a sidelong glance at the Flubber-esque teen, pursing his lips and narrowing his eyebrows. "No need to smell the printer cartridges, Haley", he said as calmly as possible, and looked away when she shot back a crazed grin.
"And you only have espresso at your house, if I know you", Morgan cut in, smiling from the exchange between Haley and Reid. "How many cups did you let her have, Reid?"
"Three." Reid looked down, turning red and grinning a little at his own predicament.
"You of all people should know that caffeine is a psychoactive drug", Prentiss said.
"I knew that, I just wasn't thinking", Reid shot back, still grinning. No, nay-one certainly couldn't be objective about everything.
"That's a first", Rossi and Morgan replied in unison, causing the teen to burst into laughter and look at Reid, giggling like a little girl.
Reid could do nothing but smile and look up. He'd made a fool of himself.
For once.