A/N: I'm sorry this chapter took a little longer than expected to update. Life has been a little stressful. Thank you to all my lovely followers for sticking with me and please remember that no matter how much time passes without new chapters or stories from me or what's going on in my life I never forget about you guys!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Law and Order SVU or any of its characters; any characters or situation that I have created is merely a figment of my imagination and is not intended to bear resemblance to any real situation or persons.

Olivia was methodically and meticulously folding laundry, placing it in an ever-so-perfectly straight pile in the laundry basket in front of her on their bed. It surprised her sometimes, how much of her girlfriend's personality had rubbed off on her in such a short amount of time. Having spent much of her life single in that shitty, dingy apartment she'd had before she'd moved in with Alex, being neat and tidy was pretty out of character for her. Not that she was a slob, because she wasn't, but there was a fine line between slob and OCD type personalities. Somewhere in the middle, she realized soon after their move in together that their ADA was at the complete opposite end of the spectrum. In her home, everything had a purpose, everything had a place, and it must be in that place at all times. They had stupid little arguments every now and again, over things that didn't matter; Liv had accidentally left the lid off the toothpaste after brushing her teeth a few nights prior and it had sent the blonde into a near frenzy in the morning. As soon as she'd apologized and promised to pick up new toothpaste, all was forgiven. Their fights rarely left the detective angry. Rather, she laughed at the younger woman's obsessive compulsive tendencies. The passion she had for everything she did, was one major thing Olivia loved about her. She couldn't help but wonder sometimes though if Alex's need for control of little things had become greater after Raye-Anne had died.

"You didn't have to do that, you know." she heard the younger woman before she saw her and felt her long arms snake themselves around her waist from her position behind her, her chin resting on her shoulder.

"We have a housekeeper. I know, I know. You know, we don't really even need her. I clean all the time, I'm happy to play homemaker to you when I'm home. You don't need to pay someone to pamper you."

"Liv, I've told you a thousand and five times, you'll never have to lift a finger while you're with me."

The brunette sighed deeply. She'd probably be having this discussion with Alex until the day she died. "You know I'm not motivated by money. You also know that I constantly have to be doing something or I get bored. I appreciate you wanting to take care of and dote on me, but sometimes I want to lift a finger."

Surprisingly, the attorney in her was not out and ready and she didn't have an argument. "Okay, I'll try to back off a little and let you take care of me too. It's just not something I'm used to." She placed a swift kiss to the older woman's cheek, proceeding to disentangle herself from her and sit on the bed they shared to watch her continue her job of playing "homemaker." Seeing her girlfriend shed her slightly masculine ways and knowing she was completely happy to take on the role of housewife from time to time was in a way, extremely appealing.

"I'm not used to it either, but I'm take huge leaps of faith every day that I'm with you, you can do the same thing."

"I'll try." She smiled then, changing the subject. "So, I've been thinking."

Olivia smirked. The attorney in Alex was always thinking. Often, she wondered if the so-called wheels of her brain ever stopped turning, even in sleep. "Oh? About what?"

"About what Dr. Brown said to you a few sessions ago. When she said you weren't ready to become a mother until you confront yours. It got me to thinking a lot. I think she's right. Not just for you, for both of us. I mean, she didn't say much of anything to me, because it wasn't my session but I could probably benefit from confronting my Mom too. I have a lot of anger and bitterness with regards to my family, not to mention I'm not out to them. Whether I believe it or not, I'm sure that weighs on me and affects the way I am and the decisions I make."

"Well listen to you, Dr. Cabot. When the hell did you become so knowledgeable on all of this?"

"When I had to put my only child in the ground." This came out more icily than she'd intended. "You realize then that time is not limitless, that life isn't infinite. The things you do, don't do, the anger you harbour; all of that will either set you free or fuck you up and make the trip to heaven or hell a lot more miserable."

"Hey, I'm sorry. If you think I should go talk to Serena, then I will."

"Liv you can't do it for me. If you're gonna get any benefit out of it, you have to do it for yourself and understand your reasons. But I will be there, whatever you choose to do. I think it just may be a lot more work and a longer road to becoming healthy parents if you don't, because I know you. I know you want to prove people wrong all the time, but I also know you have a lot of unhealthy emotions that I don't want around our children and that need to come out into the open."

Liv sat for a moment, taking in all the blonde had said, and spent a few more moments mulling over it, her brain weighing the reason in it and the sense it made.

"Why do you always have to be right?"

"You finally admit it! Remember that next time we have an argument, detective."

Three AM and she was awake. Even earlier than she usually got up for work, she thought bitterly. She'd gotten better sleep some nights at the precinct than she had the previous night. They'd mutually decided that out of the confrontations that had to take place, Serena Benson's would come first. No doubt hers would probably be the more intense of the two. Today was not going to be an easy day, and all of her emotions had knotted themselves in the pit of her stomach. She'd opted not to tell her mother ahead of time that they were coming. Partially to avoid reaction, and some little part of Olivia hoped that maybe she'd moved or wouldn't be home. If this were the case, she could carry on bottling everything up. Fuck everyone who thought bottling up her emotions toward her bitch of a mother would reflect negatively on her own parenting. Whether today did or didn't go well, she would prove them all wrong. Without a doubt, she would give half the moms she knew a lesson in stellar parenting if she were fortunate enough to have opportunity to do so.

Still half asleep, she absentmindedly ran a hand through her hair as she made her way to the counter to start the coffee maker. Being unable to ease the feeling of the knot in her stomach or the uneasiness that consumed her, she knew she wouldn't eat or drink anything that day. At least not until everything was over. Alex, on the other hand, needed breakfast and coffee to function properly and happily in the morning. Knowing the blonde wouldn't be up for at least another 3 hours, she took it upon herself to make breakfast and bring it to her in bed or keep it warm until she woke up. Alex did enough to show affection and devotion to her, so when Olivia had the time she made it a point to make it up to the other woman. She'd taken a day off work to go see Serena, and had all the time in the world to waste. Never would she admit it to anyone, but she kind of liked knowing she didn't have to work, not being so rushed. If she let that slip to Alex, she knew she'd see to it that she was pampered for the rest of her life and never had to work again.

Rolling over onto her back, she was sure she smelled something even though not fully awake, her senses not fully functioning. She lazily ran a hand over her face and rubbed her eyes before opening them. The faint outline of her girlfriend's figure standing over her was visible.

"Hmmm?" she sat slightly upright as her line of vision began to clear.

"Morning sleepyhead." Olivia chuckled at the sight of a half-awake Alex Cabot. Undoubtedly, she was at her cutest in these moments.

"Morning. You ready for today?"

"Not really, no. But I know I wouldn't be able to do it without you there. Eat up, I made you breakfast." She nodded her head in the direction of the tray she'd left on her nightstand. "I'm gonna go take a shower, you know I took the day off so there's no rush."

As she watched the detective's form walking away from her in the direction of the bathroom, she pulled the breakfast tray into her lap and smiled. It never ceased to amaze her how much information Olivia retained. Even when she didn't feel the older woman was listening, she remembered little things she'd told her when they'd first met that were incredibly insignificant. That she hated when a drop of milk was left in the container in the fridge without the last person to use it finishing it, that she loved books and detested gossip and fashion magazines, that her favourite colors were black, blue and purple or that her favourite breakfast foods were pancakes, sausage, bacon, eggs and toast; all of which she now had on her plate, perfectly cooked and presented gorgeously. Liv had remembered everything, right down to her black coffee preference.

Being raised in a family that was all about money and very much detached emotionally from each other, she had vowed to herself that she wasn't and wouldn't be about that growing up and when she found the right person would cater to them, but it was becoming more and more evident every day that she was with Olivia, no matter how "messed up" people thought she was or how much baggage she had she knew how to treat a woman and had as much of a desire to cater to that woman.

As they pulled up to the apartment, Olivia thought her heart would stop. She didn't know if she could go through with the meeting, but had no more time to stall or contemplate anything. Serena had in fact moved but despite all her protests, Alex insisted that she go through with what she needed to accomplish and with the help of some locals, they'd managed to track down where Serena Benson was now living. As the brunette looked around, she realized the place, from the outside, and even the whole neighbourhood left a lot to be desired.

"This is it." Alex hoped that her tone conveyed that there was no room for discussion. "Let's go."

Getting out of the car, she went around to the passenger side and Olivia followed suit. Not wanting to hold hands for fear of making it to obvious they were an item before allowing her girlfriend a chance to confront her mother herself, the blonde placed a reassuring hand on her back as they walked up the steps together and let it fall to her side again when the other woman knocked on the door.

They waited a substantial amount of time before Serena came to the door. It was the first time Alex was seeing her, and instead of instantly hating her like she thought she would, she was instead overrun with thoughts of just how much Olivia resembled her. Serena was much more tired and haggard looking, drugs and alcohol no doubt having had their part in ageing her features, but Olivia was the spitting image of her.

The older woman squinted momentarily as Olivia found her voice and spoke.

"Mom?"

Recognition took more than a few minutes to register itself upon her face; with it, Alex thought she saw a hint of pain, but couldn't be sure.

"Livy?"

Olivia cringed. She hadn't heard that nickname in ages and it made her stomach flip. Serena often called her that on her "good" days, when she liked her daughter. Those days were followed by drug and alcohol binges, abuse, neglect, and hate, and for that reason she hated to hear that name. It reminded her too much of what came after the bouts of caring and affection.

"Yeah, Mom, it's me."

Wordlessly, Serena stepped aside granting them access into her home and shut the door.

"Sit, please."

Olivia was more than surprised at what she saw. The apartment left as much to be desired inside as it did outside. It wasn't as bad as she'd expected, but didn't exceed said expectation by much. It wasn't a crack house, but was far from a home. There was one tiny loveseat in the corner that looked like it had been picked up used and was more than worse for wear. Its dark green fabric was ripped, exposing the stuffing in many places, and cigarette burns and stains were evident. There was no paint on the walls and what little light there was, coming from a bare bulb without a fixture hanging from the ceiling, showed that what bit of wallpaper was left was peeling. Other than that there wasn't much furniture to account for. Just a table for one in the kitchen, which was marginally smaller and not much prettier than the living room. Not wanting to sit but not wanting to be rude, Olivia positioned herself haphazardly on the arm of the loveseat while Alex quietly stood next to her. Serena momentarily left the room and came back with the one wooden chair from the kitchen, placing it across from her only child and sitting. She was unsure if she should sit next to her. She wasn't even sure what to say. After many minutes of them both seemingly trying to take each other in, Serena spoke.

"Well, I been clean for two weeks."

Her voice sounded even worse than Olivia remembered it. Harsh, hoarse, and rough. No doubt from smoking and drugs.

"That's not that long." She felt Alex nudge her side. "I mean, that's good. I guess that's good." It was hard to sound convincing, and she was sure her attempt at doing so was an epic fail. It was the same old song and dance she'd heard her whole life, and she had no reasons to believe now was any different.

"I know you're mad baby. I know it."

Despite the fact she really wanted to seem calm, cool and collected, and that she had Alex with her, something inside of her went off and she couldn't stop it.

"Ya think?! I spent my whole entire high school experience going from couch to couch, living at friends' houses because I got sick of your bullshit and wondering what I'd find when I got home or whether you were gonna "fuck me up" as you so eloquently used to put it. I spent my life like that, and you have the nerve to sit here and call me baby, like you gave a shit about me the whole time? Fuck you!"

"If you would just listen for five fucking minutes Olivia Benson I swear to God you may understand a lot more than you do! You're so damn stubborn and bullheaded. It's not always your way or the highway."

From her position standing next to her, Alex could feel her lover getting angrier. She gave her hand a squeeze to reassure her and will her to give her mother a chance to speak, as much as she hated how she was talking to her and what little she had been told. This gesture seemed to be enough, as Olivia relaxed. As if also sensing this, Serena continued.

"Livy, baby you got every right to be mad. I'm fucked up. I ain't got nothin'. Hell, I don't even have a phone. I got nothin' now, and I had nothin' then to give a child. Sometimes I think I should've given you up. But then I hear about you and all the stuff you're doin' now, and I know I done the right thing. I didn't do right by you, but I think to myself, if you went through all I done to you, and still are the way you are, you're better than I am."

"I know I am. But thank you. The way I am is in no part thanks to your good parenting but is in part thanks to your lack of it. I'm really not here to reminisce about all the shit that happened. I'm here to confront a lot of things. While I'll never forget them, I need to let go of them to be able to move on in my own life. I deserve that and you owe it to me. You owe me a lot more than you can ever give me, but I'll take that much."

"Do you hate me?" Pain was more than evident in Serena's eyes.

"Yes. Hate is an easy emotion. It's love that takes work. It's pretty much known by everyone that I'm less than fond of you, but I came here to tell you things too. Not because you deserve to know them, but because I need to free myself of the fact that you'd never know if something happened and that weighs me down."

"Things like what?" Serena knew she deserved to know nothing of her daughter, but was more than eager to drink in any information she was willing to give.

"Well, you notice I brought someone." Smiling over at Alex, she suddenly gained more confidence than ever. "This is Alex. We've been together for a while. If I'm going to confront everything I should, it's about time you knew from my own mouth that I'm gay."

The older woman was slightly taken aback over her daughter's admission, but not entirely surprised. Out of the few things she remembered of Olivia's childhood, she rarely remembered her dating. If she did, it was a date or two here and there, but nothing to write home about.

"Well.. Um. That's.. good. I can't say it bothers me one way or the other really. You want nothin' to do with me anyway."

"I didn't say that. Don't put words in my mouth."

"You implied as much."

"Oh fuck OFF I implied as much! Of course I'm gonna imply that right now. You have done nothing to deserve my love, devotion, attention or a single thought since I walked out on you in high school. Sorry to burst your bubble, but you have to earn your title of mother in my book."

"You're right."

"I know I am. It's not about being right, it's about common fucking sense. You don't do what you did to a child. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"A lot of things. I know I need help, Olivia. What I need to know, is will you, could you, ever love me? Could we have a relationship? I know I've only been two weeks clean, but I want this time to be different."

"I may be able to love you Mom, but I have a long way to go. I want to be a better Mom than you, and nobody can or will ever love you if you don't know how to love and help yourself."

"I know. I want to. I want to know how, learn how."

"So what's the first step?"

"I need to go to rehab."

"Well then let's go."

"Together?"

She smiled. "Who else is gonna take you if I don't?"

"Right now?"

"Yes, Mom. Now or never."