Part VII
When Duncan woke up, he felt like crying.
That came as a shock to him, because he wasn't a crier. He hadn't cried since his aunt died when he was thirteen and before that, he didn't remember the last time he had cried. But now he was glad everyone around him was sound asleep, so they wouldn't see him struggling not to break down.
It took him a while to realize none of what he had just seen was real. There was no party, he wouldn't leave the economy section to find Courtney dancing with Alejandro, and she hadn't told him that it was over between them.
Duncan stood up and stumbled out of the room and into the hallway, in direction to the bathroom that didn't have a confessional camera. Walking helped him wake up a bit, but he could still see the images of the dream in front of his eyes more clearly than the hallway he was walking through.
He entered the bathroom and fumbled for the faucet so erratically that he hit his hand against the mirror above.
"Fuck!" he hissed.
He turned on the light and examined the damage; there was a shallow cut on the back of his hand, and small shards of glass were all over the floor. From the way the mirror had broken, it was obviously the cheap kind of glass, but there was no surprise there.
He opened the tap and put cold water on his hand, then on his face and neck. The cooling sensation did good to his troubled state of mind, and only then could he think with a bit of clarity.
What the hell had been that dream?
And why did it contradict everything he thought in real life?
His cheeks lighted up when he remembered openly bawling in front of Courtney in his dream. What the fuck was wrong with his unconcious? Then he blushed harder when he realized he was trying not to break down right now.
God, he couldn't erase the memory from his mind of her face when she discovered his motives. He had to admit, when she said it like that… it did sound pretty stupid.
It was pretty stupid.
Duncan paced through the bathroom, cradling his head in his hands. "Oh God, my brain's racing," he whispered to himself. Get a grip, Duncan, he told himself.
His brain was flooded by images of the dream one after the other. That moment when he had seen her so beautiful, when his reasons for what he had done had seemed so petty, and he felt so attached to her. The dread when he found that she didn't believe him and his desperation when he saw her literally slip from his fingers. The moment she disappeared and he felt so… incomplete.
Duncan kicked the toilet, nearly knocking the rotten thing from its base.
With his back to the wall, he slid down until he was sitting on the floor, sprawled across the small bathroom with his legs keeping the door shut, so no one would suddenly enter and see him like this.
Duncan buried his face in his hands. Okay. Think clearly now. If Tyler was right and she knew everything, that was it. He had lost her. She would never forgive him, that much he was sure of.
So if everything was already ruined, all cards had been played and there was nothing to be be said or done, why was he so freakin' emotional now?
He shut his eyes under his fingers and stopped his breathing, attempting to choke the lump in his throat.
He wanted to stop it, right then and there. He wanted to stop everything. He wanted to march right up to first class, find Courtney in whatever situation she was in and apologize. If she was crying, console her; if she didn't know, confess. And claim he was crazy for doing what he did and beg for her to take him back— reason? He didn't need a reason; he loved Courtney, he would never hurt her!
He had never in his life been so afraid of losing something.
Silently, a few tears finally rolled down his cheeks.
Of course, they only lived on his cheeks for a second until he angrily wiped them out. Get a grip, Duncan, he told himself. You're losing it.
Duncan stayed there for a long time, until the first few morning rays started to leak through the dirt-stained windows, and with the sun came clarity. And with clarity came back the memories—the memory of the circumstances he was in, of the people he shared his current situation with, and of himself.
Slowly and against his will, he was losing the notion of Courtney as the beautiful girl who inspired him so much love, and had started to remember the bitch shell who had put him through enough crap to last anyone a lifetime –remember himself, remember the the boy who had looked like a wimp in international television, the tough guy who cared about how he was viewed. The boy who had to do this, to redeem himself of the embarrassing happenings of the last season.
It was either him, or her.
…What was he going to do?
"It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel."
-Author Unknown
In the end, morning arrived to First Class without seeing Courtney leave her section and go confront Duncan. The girl resolved to obey her better judgement and stayed put, not trusting herself if she were to face Duncan.
At dawn, Duncan left the bathroom and returned directly to economy class; he dodged First Class and never got to tell Courtney what he really felt.
And Gwen wasn't anywhere near getting the courage or the impulse to make things right by herself.
Somewhere in the duration of the night, the rest of the Amazons had turned up to First Class; they had silently come in and taken their usual seats, surely thinking Courtney was asleep. The brunette thought she was probably between sleeps or at least only half-asleep when she saw them arrive.
The brunette had found out the truth about her new friend and her boyfriend, the night before, then she had spend the night indulging herself in doubt and self-pity. When the sun shone over First Class, shining bright and mocking her, she was over it.
At least, over it enough to be able to function.
Now, the brunette took her breakfast as she observed the unsuspecting Gwen walk around their plane section, without a worry in the world, and Courtney decided.
She would get her first.
She thought she was so special, didn't she? So original in her gothic get-up and permanent scowl, like she was the one who had invented cynicism. She acted so pure and innocent, and so much like she had a right to judge everybody because she was oh-so-nice, but to pull a move like this… only an insecure, scared little girl would do something like this. Accepting the advances of a guy that was taken, too scared to even demand that he broke up with his girlfriend before they pursued a relationship. Whore.
…She would be easy to break.
Courtney would squish whatever sense of self-esteem Miss Depressed had left. Little Gothic liar had no idea what was coming to her.
"D'you hear Duncan last night?"
"Yeah, I think he crashed with the door or something."
"No, I mean before that."
Tyler looked at Owen. "When?"
"Before. He was talking in his sleep." Owen lowered his voice, "And I'm pretty sure I heard him say 'I love you' once."
"Really?" Tyler's eyes widened, and his blond friend nodded. He chuckled bitterly, "So who do you think he was dreaming about? Courtney or Gwen?"
"Why not someone else?" Owen quipped.
The jock laughed. "True." His eyes went a little cold when he gazed at the punk across the room.
Right now, Tyler almost couldn't believe how he had talked to Duncan the day before. Duncan. The guy who could snap his bones like a tootpick. And he had stood before him and given him every reason to. It now gave him chills to think about that, but those things needed to be said.
Duncan was talking to Alejandro now. Tyler narrowed his eyes, and he suddenly felt uneasy. Those two together could mean no good.
Alejandro could barely believe what he was hearing.
Because yes, he had set Duncan up for it, he had tried and intended to get the very response he had gotten. But it surprised him when he got it so quickly, so effortlessly from the boy. There had been even a sick eagerness in his eyes when he said,
"That's easy! Heather's kinda into you right? So. Seduce Courtney!"
Alejandro, who couldn't stop himself from making observations about most people he encountered, had decided that day that Duncan had not just lost interest in Courtney, as he had assumed– he downright hated her.
"Of course!" Alejandro feigned an amazed tone, and while he spoke he observed the smirking punk in front of him, trying to figure out his true feelings. "If I seduce Courtney, it'll distract both of them from the game at hand, and one of them will surely vote the other out!" There was something in Duncan's eyes that told him to stay wary. It shot through Alejandro's mind the possibility that Duncan and Courtney might have been planning everything, from Duncan's cheating to this very moment…but no—that was simply too out there. (Wasn't it?)
"What an idea, Duncan" he finished with praising—out of habit mostly, because the punk wasn't really affected by praise or by critique.
"What is?" Tyler and Owen had approached the two.
Alejandro quickly briefed them in the plannings, and when he was done, Tyler couldn't believe the proposal had really come from Duncan's mouth.
"Can you believe that guy?" He asked Owen when they were apart from the group.
"Yeah… he is a genius, isnt he?" Owen responded in an awed voice, and Tyler understood he was talking about Alejandro.
He was about to explain what he had really meant to his friend, when he caught him looking at the Latino with adoring eyes.
The jock closed his mouth, looked back at Duncan and, knowing he was alone in the sentiment, simply shook his head.
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaack to this story after more than a month! xP Hey people, if you're interested why don't you go check my other story A Christmas Ghost Story? I don't mean to self-promote but I'm pretty proud of it :)
CarmillaD: Los genios del mundo son idealistas *abrazo*
Eeeh, no entendí la referencia porque cuando era chiquita me vi todo DragonBall y ahora no me acuerdo de nada xD de Sailor Moon tampoco me acuerdo... de Pokémon sí :D
Pero estoy de acuerdo, por querer hacerlo parecido a un reality están desafiando lo que ellos mismos habían estipulado que eran las personalidades de los personajes en TDI. Ufa, bueno, para eso esta el fanfiction, no? 9_9
¡Amo a Tyler! Él representa a todos los marginados que tratan de tener éxito en algo para lo que no sirven ni remotamente xD De aquí a diez años va a ser tremendo atleta porque nunca se rindió!
JAJAJAJAJA, sisi, la autora habla español, pero Duncan no! xD Jajaja, me encanta escribir sueños. Los sueños de Duncan trataron de mantener a Alejandro IC haciéndolo hablar español, pero le salieron con cualquier cosa! xD Me gusta pensar que cuando Duncan pasaba por la casa de Courtney cachó algo de español, pero no lo suficiente. :D
Me reconfortan tus últimas palabras… eso era exactamente lo que quería mostrar ^^
~The Lighthouse