The current storyline is seriously depressing me, had to write an alternate version to make myself feel better. Hope you like it! -a.
Hazel was sat in a back booth of The Woolpack, she had been there for ages, avoiding going home; back to Jackson. She felt guilty asking Joe to stay on a few extra hours so she could tend to an urgent matter. In actuality she needed time to think, something she couldn't do at Dale Head.
The last 10 days had been painful, watching Jackson bury his hurt when Aaron came round talking about his new talking about his new guy, Flynn. Then after, watching him crumble as his heart broke, hearing him cry at night. He kept telling her he was fine, that it's what he wants, but she knew he was lying.
"Stay out of it mum, I mean it."
She had replayed the conversation over and over, fighting the urge to fix things. She kept wishing for a sign, a miracle, anything to let her know what to do.
"Penny for them?" She had been so lost in her thoughts she didn't see Paddy approach. "Here you go," He said, passing her a new glass of wine, "Marlon said you'd been on that one for ages, warm by now no doubt."
She gave him a faint smile.
"You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. What's up?"
"How do you know when to step in, when to try and fix things, or to leave well enough alone? Do I stand by and watch, or do I try and make them see sense?"
"I assume you're talking about Aaron and Jackson."
She nodded.
"You're talking about two very head-strong, very stubborn lads."
"They need their heads banging together. I don't fault Aaron, really I don't, he's only doing what Jackson wants...and truthfully he wouldn't have stuck around much longer, not with the way Jackson was treating him."
"What d'ya mean?"
"When Aaron kept coming back, when he didn't listen to Jackson's pleas for him to go out and have a life he just started being cruel. Telling him he was boring, flat out refusing to go out with him, talking down to him, lying to him. You could see the hurt in Aaron's eyes. I felt so bad for him."
"I had no idea," Paddy said, his brow furrowed in contemplation. "If I would have known that when I spoke to Jackson then..."
He left the sentence hanging in the air between them.
"Sorry? What exactly did you say to him?"
"I...I...well I mentioned that Aaron was spending a lot of time with him and that he needed to live his own life. I tried talking to Aaron but he was having none of it. Chas tried...I thought Jackson would help."
"You did, did you?"
"Chas and I were worried about him. We didn't want him to give up everything."
"And would you have told him that if Jackson wasn't paralysed?"
"W...w...we..."
"Didn't think so. Did you bother to ask Aaron why he felt the need to spend so much time with Jackson, or did you just assume it was out of guilt?"
"Hazel..."
"Did you for one minute stop to think that maybe, just maybe, Aaron actually cares for Jackson? That he might even love him? That they might not live happily ever after for the rest of their lives, but for right now that this is their happy ending? That they need each other?"
"It wasn't like that Hazel, honest."
"Really? That's what it sounds like." She was shaking with anger now. "Jackson told me that you had wanted them together in the beginning, always helping him deal with Aaron and his moods, but as soon as he's not a fully functioning man you're telling Aaron to run for the hills."
"Now just a minute! It was nothing like that!" Paddy's defence of himself fell on deaf ears, Hazel was standing now. "We didn't want him to waste his life!"
"Waste his life?" She was yelling, she knew everyone in The Woolie was watching them, she didn't care. "But it's alright for Jackson to sit over there with a broken heart? To cry himself to sleep every night for giving up the man he loves? That alright is it?"
She turned swiftly making for the exit, tears of anger clouded her vision. She saw Aaron, standing, watching her; he'd heard what she said. She pushed past him, needing the cold night air to calm her down.
"What have you said this time?" Aaron demanded as he approached Paddy. "You know what, forget it. Just stop sticking your oar in where it isn't needed!"
"Can we talk about it, please? I'll buy you a pint."
"Don't bother," Aaron said as he turned and left the pub.
Once outside he looked for Hazel, he didn't know what to say to her or if she would have a go at him as well, but he needed to talk to her. She was sitting outside the burnt remains of the cafe, she was crying, but the look on her face was pure anger. Now that he saw her he wasn't so sure if talking to her was the best idea, but still he walked towards her; hesitation marring every step.
"Hazel?" He asked cautiously.
"I have never once had a bad thought about your Paddy, but now..." She sighed heavily, not finishing her sentence.
He didn't know what to say, he felt the same way about Paddy now. His constant meddling was doing his head in.
"Shouldn't you be out with Flynn?" Saying the name left a bad taste in her mouth. She didn't know the boy, but that didn't stop her from not liking him.
"Didn't work out. Gave me the brush off," He shrugged. Along silence descended upon them, neither wanting to say what they were thinking.
"I want him back Hazel, more than I've wanted anything before." Aaron admitted, finally breaking the silence.
"Aaron, it's not that simple. He doesn't want you giving up your life because you feel you owe him or because you feel guilty."
"It's not like that," He protested.
She turned to look at him, she could see in his eyes that he was being honest.
"Then go get him," She said, gesturing behind him. Aaron turned to see Jackson being pushed to The Woolpack by Joe, neither noticing the two of them.
He didn't move, he was frozen with fear.
"I'll come with you shall I? Buy you a pint." She smiled warmly at him, standing from her seat, and taking his arm in hers. He returned the smile before heading back towards The Woolpack.
They were sat at a table in the middle of the pub, Aaron cringed inwardly at such a public chat. His eyes met Jackson's, a look of disbelief clearly etched on his face.
Aaron began to fidget, shifting from foot to foot, before slowly making his way to the bar.
"You're stalling," Hazel told him.
"Dutch courage and all," He said with a small smile.
Hazel ordered the drinks, Aaron wasting no time in taking a very large drink as soon as Diane placed it in front of him.
"This is it," He said, looking to Hazel for assurance.
"Go get him," She said, giving him a nudge in Jackson's direction.
"Alright?" He asked as he reached Jackson and Joe.
"Get lost," Jackson said bitterly.
"I haven't done owt," He shot back defensively.
"Cavorting with my mum? It won't work."
"Don't know what you're on about mate." Jackson scoffed. "Found her sat outside the cafe crying, talked to her for a bit, then she offered to buy me a drink. Nowt to do with you," He lied smoothly.
"Oh...she alright?"
"Yeah, now. Listen, can we talk?" He asked, a hopeful edge in his voice.
Jackson nodded.
"Do you mind?" Aaron asked Joe, he was already making a move to stand.
"He's fine. What do you want?" Jackson looked to Joe, who sat back down with an exasperated sigh.
He knew what Aaron wanted, he wasn't going to make it easy. He knew Aaron wouldn't do a loving talk in the middle of the pub, he was counting on that.
"Go on then," He could see Aaron's body tense, his strategy was working.
"Aaron," It was Paddy, sensing the tension he was over in a flash. "Can I have a word?"
"No, you've done enough." Aaron said, referring to earlier.
"It's not his fault," Jackson countered, "I just don't want you anymore."
"You're lying," Aaron stated, his full attention back on Jackson. "You want me just as I much as I want you. We belong together Jackson, please stop pushing me away."
"Aaron, I don't think this is the time or the place," Paddy said, grabbing Aaron's arm. It was shrugged off violently.
"Do one Paddy, this has nothing to do with you!" He was getting angry now.
"Oi! Don't talk to Paddy like that! He's only trying to help."
"I don't need help!" He shouted, turning to see Chas sitting with most of his family. His stomach lurched, he didn't need this. "You've all been telling me for weeks to live my own life, well I am. I've been going out, seeing someone, and you know what? I'm not happy, in case you failed to notice. Wouldn't be the first time though would it? My life is right there," He pointed to Jackson, "Jackson please."
"I said no." He was fighting to hold back the tears, to keep the sadness out of his voice. "I don't want to be with someone like you! Go back to your new boyfriend!"
"I don't have a new boyfriend."
"Dumped you already? Can't say I blame him. Who'd want to be with a head case like you?
He watched as Aaron's anger deflated, turning to hurt. He felt a stabbing pain in his heart as he watched him fight against his tears.
"You did...until a couple weeks ago," He whispered, the hurt evident in his voice.
"You're wrong. I don't want to be with someone who is only with me because they feel guilty, or someone who looks at me and all I can see is pity."
"It's not like that!"
"Yes it is, you know it is. All you feel for me is pity and guilt, and I don't need that! You need to move on."
"I don't want to move on Jackson!"
"Aaron, it's over, nothing you say is going to change my mind. So go onto Bar West, find your new boyfriend, and forget about me."
"Jackson..."
"I don't want your pity!"
"It's not pity you div!" He shouted.
"Then what is it?"
"I LOVE YOU!"
Realisation of what he said hit him. He fought the urge to run, instead he knelt down next to Jackson's chair, slowly taking his hand in his. He took a steadying breath before blue eyes met brown.
"I'm in love with you! That's why I was always around, not out of guilt but love. I was waiting for the right moment, but you kept pushing me away."
Jackson's face contorted into something Aaron couldn't make out, he did notice the glimmer of a smile sweep across Jackson's lips before being swiftly replaced with a frown.
"Say something, please." He pleaded, his pulse becoming rapid with anticipation.
"Joe, could you take me home please?" Jackson asked, his voice thick with emotion.
Aaron stood in shock as he watched Joe push Jackson away, giving him a sympathetic look as he passed. He willed his feet to move, but he felt rooted to the spot; all eyes were on him, giving him looks of pity. Hushed whispers filled his ears, reverberating like a drum, pulling him in to a trance of despair.
"Well don't just stand there! Go after him!" Aaron looked up, Pearl was in front of him, a fiery determination in her eyes.
"Yeah, go on mate," Ryan chimed in, then Adam, even Cain told him to go. Soon most of the pub was telling him to follow Jackson. That was all the encouragement he needed, he was out of the pub like a shot.
"Jackson," He yelled after the two, running to catch them up. "You can push me way, tell me you don't want me, and how much of a head wrecker I am; you can do whatever you like, but that won't change how I feel or how much I want you. I'll wait for you as long as I need to for you to realise that."
"I don't want you to wait! Don't you get that? I did all of this so you would go out and have a life, not rot with me. I pretended not to care when you brought Flynn round, I acted like I was actually happy that I had been replaced. I pretended that my heart wasn't broken into a million tiny pieces. I didn't put myself through all that so you could come crawling back when you new fella got tired of you. So just do one and leave me alone! Let's go Joe."
"Sorry Jackson, not this time. You need to hear him out." He gave Aaron a pat on the shoulder as he walked by. Thank you, Aaron mouthed.
"He is so fired for this," Jackson said, loudly enough for Joe to hear.
"He didn't get tired of me ya know. Flynn, I mean. Said he didn't want to be with someone who was clearly in love with someone else."
"I don't care!" Jackson yelled furiously. "You don't get it! Every time you walked through that door I hated you a little more. You were wasting your life! You're 19 Aaron, you should be out having a laugh, not caring for me. You're not cripple, so why did you act as if you were?"
"Why does everyone think I'm wasting my life? Because I chose to stay with my boyfriend and not go get bladdered? You always say you can think for yourself, well so can I! And I think you're being selfish."
"Selfish? How do you figure that? If anything I was being selfless."
"You want everyone to what you want, regardless of their feelings. You finished with me to make yourself feel better."
"No, I did that for you, to help you."
"How is breaking my heart and making me think you don't love me helping me? All you did was hurt me, but I took it because I love you that much and I hoped you would start coping with everything and let me back in."
"It's over Aaron, just go."
"Fine. Just one last thing."
"What?" Jackson managed to get out before he felt Aaron's lips on his. This wasn't one of the fleeting kisses Aaron normally gave him; it was slow, tender, encompassing all the love Aaron felt for him. He tried to remain still, neutral, not let on that he had been dreaming of this for weeks. He couldn't fight his feelings. He felt his lips betray him, slowly parting to accept Aaron's tongue, the feel of it moving together with his caused his head to spin. He felt his stomach flip as Aaron's hand tugged slightly at his curls, while the other caressed his neck, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss.
His need for air was overwhelming, but he didn't want this moment to end. If it ended they would be in the same position as before, but now in the heat of the moment everything made sense again. They made sense again.
The need for air was too much now; Aaron slowly pulled away, breaking the spell. He rested his forehead against Jackson's as he tried to catch his breath.
"It can still be you and me against life. I'm not going anywhere." He gave Jackson another small kiss before making a move towards Smithy.
Jackson could feel the moment slipping away, he knew if he didn't say something now he never would; he didn't want to lose Aaron, but he didn't want to trap him either. He closed his eyes, hoping for clarity, listening to the beating of his heart as it returned to its normal rhythm. He knew what he had to do. Slowly he opened his eyes, watching as Aaron drew closer to Smithy.
"I love you too!" He shouted, Aaron stopped. "I never stopped loving you. I'm sorry for being such a pratt...for everything. Please come back."
He watched Aaron turn around, his breath caught in his throat at the sight; he had never seen such a beautiful smile. Aaron was at his side again, his hand tracing the outline of Jackson's jaw.
"I'm here, always," He said before kissing Jackson passionately.
There was an eruption of cheers behind them, everyone from The Woolpack came to watch. The two men blushed deeply at the thought of an audience, but one look into each others eyes and it was forgotten.
"Let's go home," Jackson said, his voice almost a whisper.
Aaron pushed him back to Dale Head, the smile never leaving his face. He got Jackson into bed, a wave of nervousness washing over him. "Can I?" He asked, pointing to the bed.
"Thought you'd never ask," Jackson smiled, the big beaming smiled that Aaron loved.
Aaron climbed gingerly onto the bed, snuggling down to rest his head on Jackson's chest, his hand resting alongside it to feel the rise and fall of each breath.
"Are we good?" he whispered, not knowing if Jackson heard him. He felt him take a deep breath, his anxiety rising with each passing second.
"Yeah mate, we're good. I really am sorry."
"I know. I kinda understand why you did it, but please don't do it again."
"I won't," he smiled. "I love you Aaron, more than anything."
"I love you too Jackson."