A/N: Many thanks to my beta MsWDarcy for kicking my butt, and making this chapter a whole lot more interesting... I do believe she requested 'actual' plot. hehehe :) You're request is my command! *waves my arm about as I awkwardly curtsy* Really--you rock my world.

Thanks to all my faithful readers/reviews/subscribers! I wish many sexy Edwards at your command.

Shout out to twicrack83, MarchHare5, twifan82, and jetstreamrose for review every chapter I've put up--hugs to you!

Ms. Jessica Cullen--thanks for checking out my little ditty here, and for rec'ing me on your own. Check out her fic Breaking the Abusive Silence, it's very interesting, and well done, especially accounting her age!

Now, I know there are several of you out there reading and not reviewing--Please review! It will so make my weekend. (Especially b/c I'm stuck on the couch with the flu... or strep throat) -- yea, not fun, so please review!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the creator and owner of all characters, anything Twilight. All plot lines, backgrounds, characterizations, and details belong to ElspethGordie.

Warning: This is rated M for a reason. Adult themes and content. Eventual violence.

Chapter Seven: Concession

I rushed out of the cafeteria. Pushing past several people, not noticing, not seeing.

I found my way down the hall and outside, breathing in the warm air. Trying to settle my racing heart, I sank to the ground wrapping my arms around my belly and placing my head between my knees for the second time today—only this time I was going to pass out.

In my hurry I didn't notice anyone following me.

Then I felt a little hand, cool against my neck, a hand like a child's. I opened my eyes to find Alice's petite face hovering inches from mine. There were crinkles around her eyes, like she was trying to see not just what was in front of her, but beyond.

She squatted at my feet, balancing on the balls of her feet like a dancer ready to spring. I scrunched my eyes closed again. I was an idiot. I ran from the cafeteria. I couldn't handle a simple conversation about weekend plans and I ran! If I wasn't so humiliated, I would be fuming at myself.

Maybe if I ignored her she would disappear. Maybe if I pretended she wasn't there she would leave me alone to my misery. I had no right to drag her along with me. To soil her innocence with my mistakes.

"Bella?" Her voice was hesitant, laced with concern. "Please talk to me."

I let my eyes open. She took that as an invitation and unceremoniously plopped down on the ground, still in front of me, like we were going to hold hands and pour out our hearts. Think again.

It would be better for her if we weren't friends.

"Look Alice. You're great and all, but you don't want to be friends with me. You should just go." I looked up at the grapefruit tree in the courtyard. It would be better for her. I couldn't convince myself it would be better for me.

At once I had two tiny hands on my face, forcing me to look at her. Her eyes were narrowed, and jaw set. The fairy godmother had been replaced by a vicious amazon warrior.

"Isabella Swan. Were you just trying to get rid of me?" Her hands still held my face firmly, refusing to let me evade her question.

Holy crap. She is scary.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't expect her to not listen. I shrugged.

"Well hear me right now. I am you friend. You are stuck with me." With that she let go of my face, and leaned back into the grass on her elbows. The scary warrior had left, and was replaced by the more familiar mischievousness pixie.

She returned to her earlier question, the one I had failed to evade. "Talk."

I started pulling the grass out of the ground and shredding it like birthday confetti. Glancing up through my eye lashes, I saw that she sat still, with the patience of a saint.

I sighed. "I have a past."

She rolled her eyes. "And it's not pretty—"

"—Welcome to the human race."

"There was a guy. He used me." Ugh. Poor baby. I need to buck up and grow a pair.

I tried to evade them, but the memories were there. I had tried to lock them away, but for some damn reason they were persistent—always present behind the wall I failed to build. The holes and chinks were many, and the memory misted over me, like a smoke, enveloping my present.

"Isabella!" I turned in the dilapidated hallway of Forks High to find my oldest friend skipping towards me.

I smiled at her, I couldn't help it. "Bree! What are you doing?"

She caught up to me, and wrapped her arm though mine. "I'm frolicking! What do you think I'm doing?"

I giggled. Bree was the quintessential girly-girl. She always had been. When we were five, she used to drag me into her basement and dress me up in all of her sisters old dance costumes and Halloween costumes. Then in all of our sequined glory she would proceed to drag me out to the playhouse for a tea party, set up by her mom and grandma. We would eat little peanut butter sandwiches cut out like stars, vanilla wafer cookies, and drink cold mint tea out of flower shaped cups.

I put my foot down when we were eight about the tea parties, but we still had fun, playing and dancing in her room. Her house was a nice escape from the craziness of my own. I never knew what time dinner was, and my mom never gave me a time to be home. My mom always had a cause to keep her busy, or a new 'friend.'

Bree tugged on my arm, pulling me back to the peeling walls of our ancient high school.

"Isabella, come on you have to frolick with me!"

My face flushed red, at the thought of the embarrassment if I tripped and face-planted. I would never live it down.

"Bree" I whined. "You know I'll just fall!"

She laughed, tossing her long light brown hair over her shoulder. "Well if you fall, maybe he'll catch you."

"What are you talking about?" I asked her incredulous. She seemed to be living on another planet than me. Crazy girl.

"Oh you know who I'm talking about." Maybe Jupiter or Pluto.

I didn't deem her comment with an answer. I racked my brain for a possibility.

She tugged on my arm even harder in excitement. "Jimmy Crawford!"

I rolled my eyes. No, she lived on Boy Planet. Ever since we got to high school last fall all she's been able to focus on is boys. Who's the hottest. Who has the biggest muscles. Who has the coolest car. She was a walking cliché.

"Bree—once again, what the hell are you talking about?"

Her eyes glinted, or maybe that was the florescent lighting. "He's been watching you."

"Who?" I shook my head in confusion?

She rolled her eyes in disgust. "Jimmy Crawford!"

Um, creepy.

I released a big sigh, she was delusional. "Jimmy Crawford doesn't even know my name, let alone know I exist."

She giggled. It was getting a bit annoying. "Izzy!" I hated that nickname—and she knew it.

I glared at her. "Whatever. I'm not interested anyway, Bree, even if he knew who I am."

"The hottest guy in the freshman class, the son of the mayor has been checking you out! And that's all you have to say?" She pouted.

I sighed—again. I loved her, she had been my best friend for over ten years, but honestly she just didn't get me sometimes.

"Just you see Isabella Swan. He likes you. And you know he always gets what he wants." She turned in a huff, no longer skipping. She was such a drama queen.

It was weird, but she was right.

It took only a few weeks after that seemingly unimportant conversation before my life began to change. Jimmy had begun sitting next to me in the few classes we had together. And he was really sweet. Granted we'd gone to school together since kindergarten, and I always thought he was a bit stuck up, but time changes people.

He smiled at me, and included me in his conversations with friends. When I was sick he copied his notes for me. He bought me a dozen smiley face pencils after my favorite one broke in Geometry. He made me feel special.

He asked me to the winter formal. I was surprised. We were friends, but I never deluded myself to think it was more. He brought me flowers. I had never received flowers before. They were beautiful.

The night came quickly. My mom and I got a vintage dress at Goodwill. She was surprisingly handy and we were able to alter it to fit my small form. I had to wear a push up bra in order to fill out the bust—which for some reason made my mom giggle like a thirteen year old.

But then again, I was excited enough to giggle like a thirteen year old.

He picked me up the night of the dance in his father's red convertible BMW. He still only had his temps, but being the mayor's son definitely had some perks. His wheels squealed as we left the drive way.

I nervously grabbed the passenger door handle, but gave him a quick smile when he glanced over at me.

"You look really beautiful, Isabella." I blushed. Its one thing having your mom tell you that, and it's another completely when it's a boy.

"Thank you." I replied quietly.

He grinned and reached over and grabbed my hand. I was a bit surprised, but I let him hold it. He began rubbing it vigorously with his thumb, and I was sure that he was going to rub the skin off of the back of my hand.

I didn't say anything. He was holding my hand. Me! Plain, scrawny Isabella Swan. Bree was going to absolutely scream.

We arrived quickly at the dance, either time or the driving had gone fast. He opened my door for me, and held out his hand to help me out. I didn't really need his help, and honestly I didn't really want it, but it was Jimmy Crawford—so I took it.

The gym was decorated with streamers and balloons. It reminded me of a John Hughes movie.

He possessive gripped my waist as he led me into the gymnasium. When he smiled at me, I returned it. I got a churning feeling in my stomach, but I pushed off as butterflies. This was definitely the best night of my life.

He danced every dance with me. I had never had anyone be so attentive to me. Before I even thought of it he offered me a drink, and whenever he thought I was getting tired we took a break.

The night was amazing, but it was a bit odd that I didn't even talk to Bree. We waved hello when Jimmy and I arrived, but we never got to dance together, or gossip in the bathroom. I only saw her a few times across the room while I was dancing with Jimmy.

I was surprised that Bree didn't come and kidnap me. She was rather demanding and I'm sure that her date Riley must have been exhausted. It seemed that every time I mentioned her to Jimmy, he would start chuckling and tell some funny story that had happened to him, and I would completely forget about her.

I felt kinda guilty afterwards, but then again she was the one who pushed me towards Jimmy. It would only make sense that she would be ecstatic.

On the ride home Jimmy held my hand again. He turned his head back and forth from the road to me. The obvious attention made me bashful.

He grabbed my hand again and began rubbing. "Isabella. I had an amazing time tonight."

I smiled. "I did too."

"I was wondering," he took a pause, "will you go out with me again this week?"

The butterflies started fluttering again, like a swarm of locus in my stomach. I used my free hand to brush a stray hair out of my face. I had had fun. I knew that I had been wary at one time, but he was so sweet.

"I'll have to ask my mom."

He smirked. "Oh, she won't have a problem with it."

I felt nervous. "In that case, okay."

I couldn't tell for sure, but his eyes glinted with my simple affirmative. He squeezed my hand, maybe a little too hard. "Just okay?"

Seeking to reassure him, I replied. "I would love to go out with you again."

His hand stopped squeezing, and he returned to rubbing, but gently this time. I sighed. I looked over at him; he was carefully focused on the road. It was odd, he was smiling brightly, but it didn't seem to reach his eyes. He must be tired; it had been a long night.

I blinked my eyes tightly. I hadn't thought of that night in the longest time. For a while I had ranked it in my top ten favorite days ever. I so was naïve.

I looked over at Alice; she had sat up and scooted over next to me.

I felt like I had zoned out for hours, not moments, but she seemed not to notice.

Alice in her white sundress and strappy heels was sitting on the ground, scooting around in the dirt for me. If she found me important enough to be this persistent, she deserved the truth—at least part of it.

"Everyone loved him. The whole town. He cheated. I dumped him. He didn't like being dumped, so he got back at me." My voice cracked at the end. I couldn't help it.

Alice leaned her head on my shoulder, sighing. "I'm sorry, Bella."

A tear sneaked past my defenses and slid silently down my cheek. "Me too."

"So that's why?"

"Why what?"

"Your medical condition. Why boys or men can't touch you."

She had it partly right. I guess it was one of my 'conditions.'

Yet no one had said it so plainly before. Untouchable. I knew it. My mom knew it. The doctors at home figured it out when I started screaming.

The first time it had happened was after what I call "the incident." It hurt. It hurt so badly that just thinking about it brings back the pain, like a ghost that always haunts me.

I was in the emergency room that night. Someone had found me. I don't remember who.

Then an intern touch me. He checked my pulse and my breathing. Cognitively I knew that he was helping me, but what I felt was much different. Utter terror.

And then I was back in that room, like I had never left. Only it was happening again, and this time I knew what came next.

And I couldn't stop it.

The room was spinning. I knew where I was, but I just couldn't get control.

That night I was trying to prove to myself, to everyone that Jimmy did not make me. I need to prove it to the town, to everyone who had used to be my friends.

Mary Jackson was having an end of the year party. It was at the beginning of May, so perhaps a little preemptive, but no one was going to complain. We were all ready for the year to end. Especially me.

High school sucks.

I got to the party and couldn't help but feel the stares. It pissed me off. How dare they treat me like I was an outcast? I had been their friend for years, and just because I dump my boyfriend they discard me. He, the lying, cheating bastard, was better than me?

I grabbed a drink someone handed to me. I don't know who. I only took two sips before I threw it out. Beer is disgusting, and I knew something stronger was thrown in because my tongue started to feel numb.

My head began to throb. I hate parties. I always had. I have no idea why I am here.

I felt my way to an empty room. It had posters on the wall, and an old pool table in the center. The ceiling fan was on low, slowing going round and round. I found it hypnotizing. The room was spinning.

I started screaming, coming out of the flashback, and threw myself off the gurney onto the floor only adding to my numerous injuries. The intern tried to reach for me, which only made me scream louder.

I learned to stop the screaming quickly. It didn't help. It never stopped anything.

I remembered that Alice as waiting for an answer. Why men can't touch me. And I guess this was why. Why I wasn't normal anymore. Why the memories would never go away.

"Yea."

"Did he hurt you?"

I squeezed my eyes tightly shut.

"Yea."

Alice lifted her head from my shoulder, and wrapped her arms around me, holding me tightly around the shoulders. She began to murmur quietly, about random things, her parents, Rose, her favorite TV shows, what shoes she was going to buy at Macy's.

I hadn't even noticed, and I don't know when I began crying in earnest, but the tears flowed down my face. I didn't make any noise. Just simple tears, mourning. And she understood.

We sat there rocking for I don't know how long.

Part of me had held out hope that she would leave, and save herself from the train wreck that is me and my life. But she stayed. It was in that moment that I realized I was stuck with her. And it made me smile.

Review are better than Alice as an Amazon Queen--in her world you don't need to be tall to be an Amazon.

Recs:

Portrait of a Girl by Zors--SOooo good, I obsessively check to see if she has an update, and she has promised one soon, yay! Think Twelfth Night--but better. Summary: Edward, smartest student at St. Bart's School for Boys, always thought he was straight. That is, until he met new student Ben Cheney. But what happens when Edward discovers that Ben is actually a girl who goes by the name of Bella Swan?

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