A/N: Many thanks to MsWDarcy for editing this 3 times... thank you for not letting Bella be a weakling. :) And for also bringing Edward back!

Thank you for my faithful readers! Please leave me a review!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the creator and owner of all characters, anything Twilight. All plot lines, backgrounds, characterizations, and details belong to ElspethGordie.

Warning: This is rated M for a reason. Adult themes and content. Eventual violence.

Chapter Eight: Clamor

The sunlight poured through my window, streaming sideways as the sun went down. The dust that had collected in my room swirled slightly in the beams of light. I had my curtains as wide open as possible. I couldn't let the light be wasted. If I couldn't sit and soak it in, I would take it anyway possible.

I stood in front of my floor length mirror. I knew what I would see, yet I was still surprised. I had changed. I'd avoided mirrors and pretty much any reflection for the past few months. Now that I finally had the courage to look, the mirror showed me a different Bella.

My hair was longer, past the middle of my back. I hadn't bothered with it in a while, and it had grown.

I skipped past my face. My eyes give me away. My mom had always told me that—and I don't want to see what they say, even now.

I stood in my bra and underwear inspecting my body. White, cute, with little bows. It's not like anyone but me will see them. My body had filled out, I was loosing my boyish figure. I've always been on the thin side, but even with all the puking I've done, I had still gained weight. And in some ways, I didn't mind. I had boobs! Real ones. My hips and thighs were rounder, and I think I might almost have curves.

But that's not what I was seeing. All I could see right now was my belly. I looked down at it every day, but looking in the mirror was different. Looking down from above I looked all flat and smooth, but from the side, I was definitely showing a little bump.

The bump was cute.

I liked my bump.

Then I panicked. I have a bump!

Holy Crap. I can play it off as just getting fat for a little while, but that won't last long. Honestly, I'm such a small person, I was surprised I didn't show more than this. I wondered what Alice would do if she were me. Not that she would ever be in my situation—she was smarter than that. But she always seems to know what to do.

I dismissed the thought. I was getting fat—That's all. If I pretended to believe it, so would others.

Speaking of Alice, she wanted me to wear a bathing suit under my dress to the party, and now looking at my bump…that was so not happening.

I still couldn't believe I had agreed. Stupid friends. Stupid guilt.

When Emmett dropped me off earlier Alice had clearly instructed me to be ready at seven o'clock sharp, and to wear my new baby doll dress. I'll just "wear" my bathing suit underneath. Thank goodness baby doll tops are basically maternity shirts. They could hide anything if need be.

Giving myself one last inspection, I pulled on the pre-determined outfit. I even threw on some mascara and a little bit of green eyeliner, hoping to pull some kind of real color from my mud brown eyes.

The door bell rang. Dang.

I walked shakily up the driveway of the Hale's house. Alice must have blown through at least six lights turning from yellow to red claiming that they were "orange" and therefore completely legal. I was just thankful that the car could handle sixty mile-per-hour turns without rolling. It's a wonder she hasn't had a ticket, or mowed over a little old lady crossing the road.

The Hale's house was huge. Much bigger than Emmett's or the Cullen's. It had a courtyard with a fountain, and manicured grass—they must have a fleet of gardeners just caring for the front yard alone. There were tall palm trees out front, but best of all was the bougainvillea permeating the air. I wonder if I can talk Charlie into one of those for our yard.

Alice opened the door, not even bothering to knock. If I thought the outside was amazing, the inside was even more so. It was open and airy—sophisticated. It made the house I grew up in look like a hippy dump—but then again, Mom is kinda a wanna-be hippy.

Rosalie breezed into the room. "Ali, you're late! We still haven't put out the hors d'oeuvres!" Umm…they're having hors d'oeuvres at a pool party? Had I just walked into an episode of The Hills?

Ali flitted into the kitchen leaving me behind. Rosalie tilted her nose up in the air looking down at me and followed her. We're gonna be best friends. I didn't have anything else to do but follow as well, but I took my time observing all the pictures of Rosalie and Jasper growing up.

Rosalie was and is truly beautiful. The pictures chronicled her life, even more so than Jasper. The whole house was a shrine—a shrine to Rosalie Hale. No wonder she gave off a superior vibe. Anyone who was that worshipped wouldn't be able to help it.

The girls were placing little wieners wrapped in crescent rolls on a clear tray, perfectly spaced apart. They had tiki torches lying on the table ready to be set up, and a six bags of mini umbrellas. How many people were they expecting?

My heart beat began to race, and I could feel the flush grow in my cheeks. I searched the rest of the kitchen, only to find four more trays of baby wienies, three platters of mini veggie pizza crackers, and a two giant bowls of watermelon. And that was just the beginning. There was food that I didn't even know the names for…a lot of food. That meant a lot of people.

Alright, I do realize I agreed to go to a party. A Party. But I had purposely forgotten that people come to parties.

Memories hovered directly beneath the surface, memories I had been holding back for months.

"Izzy! Are you coming to the party at the Myers tomorrow night?" I looked up to see Bree batting her eyes at me. She leaned her head on the side of my open locker door and stuck out her bottom lip for effect.

I continued to breathe even faster.

"It's the end of the year party, and we're invited!" Her voice rose an octave. "Freshman rarely get invited!"

I smiled. It did sound like fun. "I don't know." I was supposed to be packing to go visit my dad for a week. The party was on the last day of school, and I was leaving that Saturday to spend all of June in Arizona with my dad.

"I have to pack, you know that." That only caused her to pull the puppy dog face out, and it was ridiculously endearing.

"Isabellaaaaaaa, you have to come! Jimmy's going to be there!"

I smiled. That was a good reason.

"All the older girls will be checking out Jimmy if you don't!" She began twirling her hair, rambling about what she was going to wear—wondering out loud if her older sister would take her to Port Angeles for a new outfit.

I swallowed the bitter taste in my mouth. I wasn't completely convinced. I really did need to pack.

I pulled some lip gloss out of my purse, and used the mirror on my locker door to apply it smoothly. I'd never gotten the hang of not smearing it all over my face.

Two arms suddenly wrapped themselves around my middle, and I could feel a silent chuckle against my neck. I smiled and turned around.

My boyfriend—yes, that's right girls, Isabella Swan has a boyfriend—and not just any boy, but the hottest boy in the sophomore class. The flipping quarterback of the football team! — He was PDA-ing me in the hallway.

I lifted my face to him for a quick kiss. I still felt so lucky that he chose me—would kiss me! Sometimes I was still shocked over.

He smirked at me, and deepened the kiss. I didn't really enjoy French kissing—it was a bit slobbery, and I felt like I had to swallow so much spit, but I wasn't going to complain.

"Hey Izz," he grabbed my waist a tighter, almost too tight, and I tried not to grimace at the nickname—damn Bree. "You going to the party on Friday?"

I scrunched my nose. "Jimmy, I have to pack for my dad's." I tried to turn back to my locker to grab my bag, but he didn't let me move. His hands gripped my waist even tighter, and I tried not to wince at the pressure.

"You can't leave me for a whole month!" His voice whined, raising in volume more than pitch.

"It's my dad."

"Izz, I can't go without you for a whole month. You need to stay." It sounded more like a command than a suggestion.

I sighed, actually considering it. If he wanted me to stay…

I didn't really want to go to Arizona anyway. I'd barely seen my dad since the divorce. And of course, I didn't want to leave Jimmy.

I knew I sounded petty and untrusting, but part of me worried that if I left he would forget about me. There are tons of girls prettier than me.

Jimmy had changed my whole world. It felt like my life hadn't started before him. I hung out with the in-crowd at school, which made Bree ecstatic. But it was more than that, everyone—I mean everyone—knew who I was. I'd have kids at school, or adults I ran into in town, who I didn't even know, say hi to me.

I felt wanted. Appreciated. Noticed, for the first time

Jimmy grabbed my attention again, eyes glinting. "You have to stay." His smirk reappeared suddenly; I'd hardly noticed it was gone. "Think how much fun we are going to have this summer!"

He let go of my waist, throwing an arm over my shoulder. I grabbed my bag from my locker, and let him pull me down the hall.

"And it's gonna start with this party." He was sure, no room for argument.

I shrugged. "Okay, I'll talk to my mom."

Bree reappeared from nowhere, triumphant. "I knew he could convince you!"

I rolled my eyes, even though she was right. He could convince me to do anything.

It was surprisingly easier than I thought—talking to Mom. I told her that I want to stay home with her this summer, that I felt like things were going too quickly, and I wanted time at home. She called Charlie, and though he wasn't happy, he agreed. I kinda thought he would put up a fight. Typical.

School ended quickly. Freshman year had flown by, and it was so much more than I expected.

Bree and I got ready for the party together Friday night. It was rare for us to hang out outside of school. Now that I was dating Jimmy, it felt like I barely saw her.

We laughed and primped, talking about boys. I got to hear more about Riley. It surprised me that their relationship had gotten so serious so fast. The three of us had been friends for a long time—before Jimmy that is.

She gushed. "Oh Isabella, he is such a good kisser! I swear we made out in my basement for three hours!" She giggled to herself. I cringed internally—that's like drinking a liter of saliva. Jimmy and I had made out before, but I always put an end to it before I felt like I was going to drown.

She looked over at me conspiratorially. "We're gonna do it."

Do what? I repeated my question aloud to her.

She looked at me like I was crazy. "It!" I shook my head at her in confusion.

She let out a sigh in exasperation. "The dirty deed, the nasty, bouncing the pogo stick!"

My eyes widened in surprise. "Like sex?"

She rolled her eyes at me. "Of course!"

"When?"

"Tonight." She smirked sexily at me, and then looked back at the mirror to finish putting on her eye shadow.

I froze, literally shocked into stillness. Bree and Riley were going to have sex? But they were only fifteen! They—we were too young for sex!

We were, weren't we?

Does Jimmy think we are going to have sex too? We'd been going out longer than Bree and Riley.

I'm not ready for sex!

I cringed.

Bree didn't notice my mental panic attack, which was probably good. I watched as she applied some va-va-voom lipstick making her look like a hooker, then she puckered and kissed the mirror.

She grinned at me. "So, how bout you?"

Uh. "Uh, what about me?" I tried to act nonchalant and went back to finishing my own makeup.

She nudged me in the arm. "You know! Sex! Are you and Jimmy gonna do it?"

"Uh, we haven't really talked about it." I tried to brush off her question.

"Honestly, I'm surprised you haven't done it yet! He's the quarterback—tons of girls are dying to give him what you haven't." Where did that come from?

"Bree, what are you talking about." I turned towards her to give my full attention. I wasn't the most observant person in the world, and if she knew something—she was going to tell me.

"You know, just rumors. All the cheerleaders are just waiting for Jimmy to be free again."

"So what are you saying? That I have to put out to keep him?"

She shrugged.

I shook my head. "He cares about me! He would wait for me."

She shrugged again.

"Whatever Bree. I'm not ready. And if he cares about me, he'll understand that."

She smiled at me like I was a little child. "Okay, if you say so."

I ground my teeth trying not to snap at her. Did she think he'd go somewhere else if I didn't put out? It pissed me off. I can't believe she isn't on my side about this. Jimmy would never do anything to betray me—never.

We spent the rest of the time getting ready in silence, awkward silence. Bree had been my best friend for a long time, but now it felt like we were miles apart. She had accepted the popularity so easily—I didn't. It just didn't feel like me.

Jimmy picked us up at eight. My mom had been bouncing around, probably more excited than I was over the party. She had put on "mood" music, and wore her Indian sarong in anticipation—she wasn't even going.

She opened the door and hugged Jimmy like he was her own. She hadn't been very subtle about what she hoped for our future. He smirked at me over her shoulder; it read very clearly, the I-can-do-whatever-I-want-because-I'm-Jimmy-Crawford look.

I rolled my eyes. He glared at me back.

"Now, Jimmy don't you just look handsome." She basically petted his arm. She was right, his simple t-shirt and low riding jeans did make him look hot. I heard her mutter none too quietly to herself. "If I was twenty years younger, I would so tap that." Ugh, I wanted to gag.

He sauntered towards me, and obviously gave me a once over. I blushed at his perusal. He narrowed his eyes, then whispered in my ear, "Go put on that red top with the sparkles."

I pulled in a breath surprised, possibly going even redder. What's wrong with my outfit? I flashed a timid smile at my mom and darted up the stairs. If that's what he wants, it's easy enough to change.

I returned quickly, changed into the shimmery red top with the plunging neckline. He smiled at me, and wrapped his arm around my waist possessively.

"Baby, you look gorgeous." I tried to smile back, but it was more like a grimace.

"You look nice too." He flashed his killer smile at me and winked. I returned it, genuine this time, all awkwardness forgotten.

Bree came flying down the stairs. "You guys ready to go?"

We nodded, and headed out the door. Bree was lacking a bit of grace this evening, and literally galloped to the car. If I didn't know better, I would say she was already drunk. I was embarrassed by her ridiculous behavior.

We arrived at the party and it was already loud and crowded. You could hear the music down the block. I was surprised that the neighbors hadn't called the cops. But if they hadn't yet, they wouldn't at all. Forks is lackadaisical about anything involving their 'star' children.

Jimmy gripped my hand tightly and I trailed behind him walking up to the house. He opened the door and I could feel the bass vibrating in my chest. I hated that feeling.

It reminded me that I really didn't like parties that much… but I would have fun as long as I was with Jimmy.

Everyone we passed clapped Jimmy on the back, giving exuberant hellos. Tracy Myers, the senior giving the party sauntered up to us perusing Jimmy with her eyes. When he let go of my hand to give her a hug, I couldn't help but notice he left his hand on her hip a moment too long.

I narrowed my eyes. He dropped his hand and grinned at me, like I was amusing.

He pulled me towards him, and wrapped his arms around me. His hands began to drop lower on my back than I expected and he palmed my butt. I squeaked when he squeezed, really hard. He chuckled again in my ear.

"Come on baby, don't be a prude."

"Bella.—Bella!"

I snapped my head up and met Rosalie's crystal blue eyes. She handed me an empty tray and several bags of already chopped vegetables. "Arrange these." She ordered.

My eyes widened in surprised—Yes, Sir. I wanted to salute—but briskly attended to my task anyway. Distraction was good. I neatly created two veggie trays before I noticed that my job was complete. While I was lost in my job, the girls had busily finished up everything else.

Then I realized something. I was fine. The memory had come, and the memory had gone. And no one noticed.

I picked up the tray, and carefully balanced all my hard work while I brought it out through the sliding door out onto the patio. I was not going to dump this on the ground by tripping like a fumbling idiot.

I set the tray down and looked around at the patio finally, now that my hands were free. It was magnificent. "Wow."

There were Chinese lanterns hung at perfect intervals around the patio, and into the yard. Tiki torches stood by the pool, with little center pieces of red and white gerbera daisies were on every flat surface. Alice flitted from one end of the yard and back, dragging Emmett with her, as he fixed each streamer.

"Rosalie, this is beautiful."

She smiled. "The decorations are all Alice. I do the food."

I glanced again at the spread. Did they realize that they had invited high schoolers over? I had never been to a party like this, and I've been to my fair share of parties.

I voiced my thoughts. "No, really. It's all amazing. You do realize you invited a bunch of teenagers, right?"

She laughed, "This is a tame party for us, you should have seen the end of the year bash we had in May."

She leaned over conspiratorially. "Alice and I had Emmett, Jasper, and Edward completely convinced it was a costume party."

Surprised by her willingness to share, I leaned in. "Really?"

She snickered. "Emmett came dressed as the Incredible Hulk— "

"Original." I laughed.

"—Jasper a cowboy." She rolled her eyes. "And Edward as Dracula. They lived it up like everyone else had got it wrong. Emmett even tried to leap the pool in one bound, proving his strength." She snorted. "It didn't work out."

I chuckled at the irony. I'm sure she had never had a party like the one I went to last May. Yes, I realize my sarcasm makes me a bit morbid, thank you for the concern.

I watched as she scurried back inside to take care of something else. I check my phone for the time. People would be arriving soon. I stakes out a place in a well protected corner. I had come, and darn it, I'm going to have fun. Even if that is protected fun—for the good of the party guests.

I grabbed a glass of punch. It hadn't been spiked—yet. All my experience lead to rather inebriated teenagers by the end any kind of gathering; I was very interested to see if they would live up the standard.

I waited and watched as people began to trickle in. I didn't recognize anyone, but I've only been here a week.

Emmett's booming laugh echoed across the yard, and I spotted him stalking towards Alice. She held a chair in her hands, trying to ward him off like he was a wild animal. I giggled to myself. They were so goofy.

I became wrapped up in the people watching—it was fascinating. Who knew people could be so interesting.

Even caught up in the people, their conversations, their flirting, I knew. I felt it the moment he arrived. Bizarre and perhaps rather creepy, I could feel that Edward, the oddly silent sometimes lab partner and brother of my new best friend was here. It was like he was the polar opposite magnet to my charge. Part of me felt pulled to him.

But I stayed strong. I stayed put. No need to cause a scene. That should be my motto.

I tried to distract myself by trying to figure out what the heck Emmett was explaining to the group that had surrounded him. He had done everything but stand on his head to act out the story. My interpretation was that last summer he became a pirate. But his purpose was for the seeking out of 'fair' maidens not plundering ships for gold. In the midst of his voyages he received the gift of flight which led him to become the president of the United States for one day only. In that day he released all captive goats everywhere, and made it national peewee football day. This position led him to meet a woman with "large tracks of land." And then he woke up. I crack myself up.

Nah, it was probably about some hot chick with boobs the size of melons. I bet a wind swooped by at just the right moment and he got a peek at a pantyless ass.

Mine was better. I snickered to myself.

"What's so funny over here?"

I jumped and looked up, surprised. Edward's eyes crinkled in amusement as he looked down at me.

Our eyes connected, and my internal compass needle righted itself—pointing directly at him. My skin felt translucent, like he could see past all my barriers even physical ones to my very core.

My breath hitched, but I couldn't break the connection. It was unnatural, and perfectly natural at the same time.

"Edward!" Alice squealed across the pool. Her distraction freed us, and I fumbled with the fabric of my dress on my lap, check to see if my 'fat' was noticeable. I glanced up and saw him wave awkwardly at his sister, then run his fingers through his hair.

I sighed.

I added a new item to my bucket list: touch Edward Cullen's sex hair.

"So, what were you laughing bout before?" He sat down in one of the pool chairs next to me.

I smiled. "Just Emmett." I pointed to him. He was still regaling his group with some tale. He was squatting, and making the point to look each person in the eye with utmost seriousness. Edward groaned.

I eyed him curiously. He shook his head. "You don't want to know."

I laughed to myself, it was probably much worse than anything I came up with.

He leaned back, and put his hands behind his head. "What do you think of the party?"

"It's great." He looked at me dubiously. "Really—this week has been more fun than my last three years combined."

He whistled. "High school so far must have sucked."

I muttered, mostly to myself. "You have no idea."

He looked at me confused, probably hoping that I would go on. I ignore it and changed the subject. "I thought this was a pool party." I waved my arm in front of me. "How come nobody's swimming?"

He let it go and smiled mischievously. "You wanna be the first."

My eyes widened, and I shook my head furiously, bracing my arms in front of me to ward away his advances. He laughed. I love that laugh.

"Don't worry, scaredy pants, I won't throw you in."

"Thanks." I regained my humor quickly. I hoped he noticed the sarcasm dripping off my insincere gratitude.

"Alice has actually forbidden swimming until ten o'clock." I knitted my eyebrows in confusion.

"She wants it to be sophisticated." He used his fingers to air quote 'sophisticated.'

I giggled. "That sounds like Alice. I had no choice over my attire for the evening. She even used the look to get me here tonight."

"Yea, she used it on me too."

"Really?" He nodded. I tried not to notice, but we had both been slyly making eye contact with each other. It was like a game. We'd get eye contact and spark—but then we'd chicken out and look away.

"This isn't really my scene."

"Oh yea, King of the nerdom, right?"

He laughed. "Not so much anymore. But this isn't me. I feel like I'm evading people more than socializing." His voice got a little harder, but I knew it wasn't directed at me. "What about you? Why are you hiding back here?"

"It's just safer for everyone if I'm over here."

He waited for me to explain, which made me want to give him the Bella death glare, but I refrained. I didn't think he deserved that yet.

"No need to make a scene." Nodding slowly, he finally got the idea.

I reached for my cup on the glass table, but noticed it was empty so I set it back down. There was no way I'd get through the crowd without bumping into someone. Edward must have noticed my actions, because he moved to get up and took my cup from the table.

"You want a refill? It's no problem." He smiled his lopsided smile that made my insides go to mush.

I grinned, and nodded. "Thanks." He brushed it off, and left to go refill my drink.

I let my mind wander after he left. I was glad I came.

Caught in my mind I didn't notice until too late that my corner had been invaded again, and this time it was not welcome. The girl from the first day of school, with too much make-up and fake boobs… Jackie, Jordan…Jessica?...and a fake blonde stalked into my corner. She stared haughtily at me, as if I had invaded her space.

Empty headed bimbos at a high school party? Check. I'm glad all my expectations were not being crushed around me.

The indiscreet looks that said I was not wanted continued, but I choose to ignore them, and gazed back out at the crowd. I hoped Edward would return soon.

"What are you doing here?" Jessica asked. It was a rhetorical question. I answered anyway—I'm ornery like that.

"Sitting." I gave her my best insincere smile just for emphasis. I prayed they would go away.

The other girl smirked. "Hiding out fatty?"

I am not fat. I ignored it.

She laughed at her own snide. "Sneaking cakes and cookies, marshmellow?"

Original.

Jessica giggled—it sounded like a piglet squealing—not the cute kind.

"No wonder you're constantly puking."

How did they know about the puking? I clenched my jaw and told myself that they were just a bunch of skanks trying to make themselves feel better. They didn't know anything about it.

The fake blonde snorted. "Yea, she's either bulimic or preggers."

They doubled over laughing; Jessica's boobs basically falling out of her top.

"Nah, definitely bulimic. Who'd touch that? I bet she's a prude."

Bitch. I saw red.

Reviews are better than coming up with your own ideas of what Emmett could possibly be saying!

Recs:

For the Summer by camoozle
Summary: Every year Bella waits for the 'Pay Checks' to roll into her sleepy river town and every year Edward's hers, just for the summer. AH, AU, OOC, B/E
My rec: So sweet. This is full of innocence, awakenings, and first love. It makes me feel so nostalgic. It's in progress, so it won't take too much to catch up. A definite read.

Memories Left Behind by Ailisraevyn
Summary:Edward doesn't remember anything about his life before thirteen. Bella's mom abandoned her and her father when she was five. Can these broken souls save each other, or will their past tear them apart? AH, Canon Couples, Language & Drug Use.
My rec: I really like the Jasper in this fic, he has a horrible past, but is still resilient. I also like the family groupings with Alice and Emmett being siblings. The Bella has a great personality, with the usual insecurities. Most of all it has a beautiful darkward, who makes your heart ache for him as he's just trying to survive.

Please Review!