To break is all I know Chapter 9: It's just the beginning, a bleach fanfic

I do not own Bleach … :) and I do not earn any kind of money from this snippet

This chapter had been betaed by Cittyno2 (thank you very much). If you find any mistakes it's her fault (not mine). I wish you pleasant reading and sorry for a short and lame chapter.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

To break is all I know

Chapter 9: It's just the beginning

"Today is my birthday … and I'm 13. Goat Chin keeps on mumbling something about me being an adult and having children and of course Ichigo is beating the crap out of him … nothing new in our family.

But … I cannot be happy.

It has been a year and two months since Toshiro left for that business in Soul Society and I still have gotten no visit, no letter, no nothing. I thought it would not take more than 3 months, but 6 months have passed, then one year and in the end, I gave up any hope. I want to tell Ichigo how much I miss Toshiro, but I cannot do it because the thought of confessing my love is impossible. I was not created for a simple task like expressing my inner feelings or anything too deep … but sometimes I have the sensation that I'm too profound in some aspects, like love, hate, understanding, passion, but because of my rough exterior I'm unable to share them with anyone.

With Toshiro I had this opportunity … I guess that's one of the reasons why I have fallen in love with him; being an amazing soccer player was just as important … and let's not forget his status as a shinigami captain, I'm such a hypocrite.

If I'm still able to make fun, it means I'll get over it. I'm not weak …and in time this strange feeling will disperse into thin air. And who knows … maybe I'll find another moron to fall in love with.

Preferably not a one sided love like it was with Toshiro.

Was it a one sided love? … If he left me so easily, I guess it was.

Jinta is being an ass because of it and keeps on telling me that I'm so ugly that I scared the poor boy and even worse is that I have begun to believe him. I'm not beautiful like Yuzu, I'm not a shinigami like Ichigo and I'm not capable of goofing off like dad … wait a second … scratch the last part with my dad, he's not a good example.

Really … I think I'll be okay …

And next time I'll try to fall for a normal human. Not a shinigami and especially not a captain …"

Kurosaki Karin's diary

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Karin left the library dashing towards the Kurosaki household. It wasn't a long way so in 10 minutes she was able to see the red roof of the house. She already knew that her father would go ballistic and kick whoever dared to rape his little cactus, but truth to be told she wasn't giving a fuck about his so called parental love. He was being a bother in the literal sense of the word, and Karin was sick of all this shit.

She was tempted to try cornering Yuzu for another discussion, but she appeared to be so happy with Aizen's date and all, that she dropped the idea. If her sister was happy, so be it. She'll keep an eye on Samaki, but discreetly (because she is such a discreet person) and follow his every move … she'll be like his shadow.

Her mind drifted at Aizen again. It was the fifth time in an interval of 10 freaking minutes, so if she did the math she was thinking of him every 4 minutes.

'2 minutes … Damn it. I'm incapable of doing a simple division and I'm in the 10-th grade. God damn these hormones, this teenage stupid-ness and …the fucking impotent piece of shit Aizen Samaki' thought Karin hitting a rock that dared to stand in her way. It was dumb luck it was 9 and a half and no foot of human could be seen in sight.

And the worst part in this insupportable situation was that she wasn't all obsessive with anything … apart from Yuzu, Ichigo, maybe her father could be added in the equation and a little of Toshiro, but just a little. The fear of feeling for someone else anything but friendship or hate was a pain in the ass … one she wasn't eager to repeat. There were times when she felt hate and repugnance towards him, but there were times when friendship was not enough to describe her inner thinking.

Finally reaching the house, Karin pressed the door handle, knowing that on the other side Isshin was waiting for his beloved cactus. Next time her father dared to compare her with the spiny plant she'll shove one up his ass in order to show him the difference. Then he would understand that no matter how much he wanted to make fun of her interesting character, the coin will flit and he will flit as well … in the toilet or in the wall; his choice.

'I don't understand … sometimes I'm scared of him and sometimes … I feel like I did with Toshiro' thought Karin, not daring to open the door 'I don't want to repeat the same thing that happened with Toshiro. I don't want to be left alone for the second time' she looked back checking if someone followed her 'No … I'll never fall for a creep like him'

"My beautiful cactus is finally home!" squealed the ex-captain when Karin decided that opening the door couldn't be so bad. She regretted it a moment later.

Her father began the speech he usually used in this situation, changing some aspects, but keeping the base intact.

"It's almost 10 … where have you been?" she cracked a knuckle "I was worried about your innocence." this time she flexed her biceps "What if someone saw you and dared to touch you in an improper way!" her right fist was ready to shut him up forever "You are my cactus and I love you, my not so beautiful daughter …"

Karin couldn't contain her arising anger, so she grabbed a cactus that rested on the window still and shoved the plant directly in his gaped mouth. The target was hit and Isshin stumbled back while big tears were forming in his black eyes. He tried to take it out or something, but the thorns were scratching his fragile esophagus so he gave up.

"This is a CACTUS!" she screamed punching him in the gut "I AM NOT!"

Isshin would have defended himself in front of his not so sensible daughter, if his oral cavity hadn't been abused by the spiny bush in such a dreadful way. He tried to say something but the sounds that inevitably erupted from his mouth were moans or groans of pain.

"Did the cat eat your tongue?" asked Karin, the sarcasm being evident in her voice.

Ichigo chuckled but didn't try to help his incapacitated father. It was quite normal for the man to be in a predicament that involved his violent daughter or delinquent son and over this, he saw it coming for a mile, but still didn't want to move a finger. It was his fault for saying those stupid things that inevitably angered Karin.

"More like the cactus" said the older sibling, sipping noisily from the soup "But he has a valid point of view. It is 9:45 and not an hour proper for coming home. Yuzu had gone to bed for at least 10 minutes, and you barely came home, Karin" he turned around facing his disobedient sister "I guess you understand my problem, right?"

Karin scowled at her brother and was forced to bit her tongue in a failed attempt of stopping some pretty awful words from coming out. She finally decided to leave the courtesy for later, when she won't be so annoyed by this whole situation that included Aizen, her father and her irksome sibling and attack her family with some well aimed invectives.

"No … I do not understand your problem Ichigo? What I do is my business and you shouldn't butt in it like a freaking idiot" She was too angered by the situation to even try stopping it "And don't you dare get all protective with me, because I'm tired of it"

Isshin tried to intervene between the arguing siblings, but Ichigo was faster in his resolution.

"I'm protecting you because you are my sister and I don't want to see you hurt" he said, realizing that it was kind of cliché on his part to state such an obvious thing.

"So … it's the same thing with Yuzu, right?" attacked Karin.

She was pretty shaken up by her contradictory, but interesting discussion she previously had with Aizen, so her nerves were on edge making the whole situation worse. If her father had tried to say something in order to stop them, they didn't hear it, or maybe didn't want to hear it, being too preoccupied by their own issues.

"Of course" replied Ichigo angrily.

"Then why do you leave for weeks, even if you know she'll cry like crazy after you?"

She had a valid point, but Ichigo wasn't easy to defeat nor in a fight nor in a discussion … the exception of this rule being Rukia, the only girl that could snap Ichigo right back on track. But since Rukia was missing, Ichigo mumbled under his breath, hoping that his sister won't hear:

"I'm not the only one that makes Yuzu cry"

If Karin was annoyed before Ichigo's stupid reply, after it she was threatening to go into a state of absolute vexation. She wanted to say something, to jump on her brother and stuff his brain back in his head, but … she decided to leave it like this. She made enough bad blood between her and Ichigo to last for some time.

"Good night dad …" she waved in his direction, trying to cover the sorrow that took over her whole being "Don't worry …I'm not hungry. I guess I lost my appetite" and she climbed the stairs towards the room she shared with Yuzu.

The worst part in her fights with Ichigo was that they tended to spread on a long period of time … usually from one to three months. They weren't as virulent as her hassles with Yuzu but they were just as bad.

She reached the door and squeezed inside silently, hoping not to wake up her sister. Luckily, Yuzu was sleeping peacefully on her bed, from time to time a snore escaping her opened mouth. Karin smiled softly at her sister's fragile frame, but her attention snapped back at the inviting bed. She undressed rapidly trying to do it as quietly as possible.

After she was done with the process of changing in the PJ, Karin slipped under the covers and closed her eyes.

Two minutes later Isshin opened the door checking his daughters, only to find both of them fast asleep.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

When he came home, Aizen was received by an enthusiastic man that asked him very impolitely if he fucked her. His adoptive father was demonstrating his animalistic behavior and he seemed to be a pig of the lowest kind.

"No" answered reticently the boy "I have some books to read, so if you could excuse me" tried Aizen to reason with the creature … but it was in vain.

"Pussy"

'Motherfucker' thought Aizen while carrying the books in his room 'I cannot wait to kill you'

Only after he shut the door behind him, Aizen let loose a wave of swears …

Finally he decided that the creature didn't deserve this trouble and opened the book Karin had recommended. It had an interesting cover, but his attention didn't linger on it, being distracted by the first chapter … Gaia, the primordial Earth - goddess

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

The night cleared its sky and morning came with another boring school day. The blue cloudless sky was foretelling a beautiful day with plenty of sun and heat. It was the end of September, but even so, the dog-days were on the agenda; they tended to leave a sour taste behind that was being accompanied by a rainy weather.

The hours began in their usual lazy, but firm rhythm and time flew by …

For the first time in his two weeks of school, Aizen was waiting impatiently for the computer science private lesson. He was pacing in the small and tight laboratory making the space look even smaller than it already was.

After their last encounter, that was the day before, Aizen read the whole book and now he wanted to discuss some aspects that bugged him; and since he couldn't discuss them with his adoptive family, because they were incredibly stupid, or another classmate, because they were just as stupid, the only left option was Karin. At least he was 100% sure she will be a good partner and she will know what involved the book … after all she was the one that had recommended it.

The door screeched, screaming for a drop of oil on its old hinges.

"You are late" snapped angrily the man.

"Sorry … I had to …" began the smiling boy, as he closed the door behind him.

Aizen didn't listen to anything he might have said, because he was too busy staring throughout the window. His classmate, who happened to be the class representative, continued the erratic speech and apologized at least 5 times, not noticing that Aizen didn't bother to listen to a word. Andy didn't say anything about Karin, believing that she had informed him of the change that took place in the schedule, but stated some unimportant aspects regarding their lesson.

When he finished all he had to say, Andy invited Aizen on a chair.

"Where is Karin?" asked the man, before talking his usual seat. He tried to smile and succeeded in fooling his computer partner at least for a short period of time.

Andy looked perplexed at him, but then identified the issue "She didn't tell you about switching the lessons" he corrected himself "It's not really a switch. She asked me to supervise your computer science lessons" a bright smile appeared on the representative's face "Don't worry. She's not very good at teaching things and with her violent temper … I wonder how you survived with her"

"It was … ok" said shyly Aizen, trying to look genuinely happy with the switch "But like you said … not a bright teacher and sometimes with fits of anger"

Andy smiled making a short statement while the computer loaded its background programs "She's pretty energetic, but if I were to be honest with you Samaki-san, she knows her subject better than me"

"What do you mean by that?"

Aizen was curious to know what did the boy thought about the soccer team captain. And he also wanted some extra information regarding the fire creature that got his attention so thoroughly. In another words Aizen was searching for this knowledge in order to know her as a whole being. Who said that being in the center of attention is a good thing?

Andy laughed a little, but answered, "Your soccer captain is very apt at almost anything"

Aizen raised an eyebrow not understanding the statement.

"She is quite smart and knows a little something from every possible field" explained the boy "but from what I've heard she loves soccer, computer science and ancient history"

This thing left Aizen being uncertain. This is why she knew things that were not related and had almost nothing in common, like soccer and mythology.

"Okay tell me what was the last thing you studied with Karin" asked Andy.

"Office Word …"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

One hour later, in Soul Society the meeting Renji announced to the Substitute Shinigami was beginning.

It was 3 o'clock sharp when the Captains and their lieutenants were preparing to enter through the large doors of the 1-st Division. The only exceptions were Ikkaku, Yumichika, Rukia and Ichigo, who were staying outside waiting to be invited in. Due to their low rank in Gotei 13 or lack of rank in Ichigo's case, they could only watch the scene run before their eyes.

Finally Renji made a head sign, and they joined the meeting. The shinigami elite gathered in the same room could only foretell that something bad had happened and Ichigo feared they will approach his sister's problem. Luckily for him the important matters they had to discuss weren't related to his family or friends, but this didn't mean they weren't urgent.

All of them were watching Yamamoto and as always, Ichigo was the first to ask the question that bugged every single soul present in the room.

"Why did you call us here Old Man?"

Kuchiki Byakuya, the 6-th Division Captain, sniffed at the usual impoliteness shown by the orange haired boy in the presence of a highly respected officer like the Captain Commander. He was about to protest over this fact, when the old Captain's deep and strong voice echoed in the room silencing all of them completely.

"Aizen had escaped from Muken"

It came down like a brick and hit hard. A multitude of whispers were being heard in the room, and even some erratic gasps from the lieutenant of the 2-nd squad, who was having an outburst of fear. Hinamori said nothing, but Matsumoto who was just beside her could clearly see how artificially marble white was the girl's face. The busty woman tried to comfort her friend, but she was too scared to do so.

On the other hand, the chibi white haired captain didn't lose time with whispering questions or answering some of the ones that passed beside his ear; he asked loudly so the whole group could hear it:

"But how? It's the lowest level of prison … nobody had ever escaped from it"

Every single head turned towards the Captain Commander waiting for an answer. They were all eager to know what happened and how the said man did escape from the most dangerous and well guarded prisons. They all wanted to ask other questions, like when, where or way, but this one was what they had in common … to know how.

The bald captain coughed. He didn't have a hard time concentrating, but this was one request he couldn't answer because of a vast gap in his knowledge. All captains and theirs subalterns were watching him waiting for something he couldn't give them.

"We do not know"

More whispers erupted in the room, enveloping everything in an aura of mystery. A feeling of stress and fear spread like a cover over the group of top shinigami.

"But I sent my lieutenant to find out" continued the man ignoring the frightened spikes of reiatsu that didn't disperse after his, so called, comforting answer.

Zaraki was smirking like a madman, while the others were showing concerned faces. On the other hand Ichigo wasn't saying a single word, deciding to thing through the situation. It was unusual for the orange haired boy to study some aspect, but Aizen seed to be the exception in this case.

"Who discovered the disappearance?" asked Byakuya, seizing the rumors for one second.

"Yes" agreed the 8-th squad lieutenant Ise Nanao as she arranged the glasses that threatened to slip from her pointy nose "It's not like someone visits him in that place"

A chuckle was heard from somewhere behind them and the whole group turned around watching a figure detach from one of the shadows. It was a tall, but slim person with a short sword that had a light blue handle with some strange shaped rings around it, looking vaguely familiar … if they looked closer it was resembling an eight of steel around a wakizashi. The man was wearing a shinigami uniform, but his identity was still a mystery since his face was completely covered by a dark shade.

"I discovered Aizen's disappearance" his advancement continued until his wide foxy grin was being observed by the whole community "And knowing Capta'n Aizen, he's probably makin' some horrific plan in which Sou' Society is destroyed"

The moment of silence that installed in the room after the stranger's face was in plain sight had been broken by Toshiro's voice. It was an icy tone, but not upset … the snow white captain was clearly surprised by whoever was the person.

"… I … Ichi … Ichimaru Gin …" stuttered an astonished Toshiro.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sorry. This was a short chapter, but I have an excuse. I was … busy. I was with my mother in a computer science camp and I barely had time to write this little chappy, but here I come.

Well … I think that brothers should fight; it's healthy in any relationship. Sorry for the cliffhanger.

And yes Hakkuchi, all of them are acting like idiots, but remember that you see the whole view, while they can see only around them … from their perspective what happened is perfectly normal: Ichigo chasing Toshiro from the human world and so on. And you have no idea how dangerous this attraction is *evil smirk* Ohh … Of course I remember that omake. Aizen's love for tea is mythical *laugh*

And you'll find out Toshiro's real feelings for Karin …