I'm going off of the original story. I already have most of it written, for those of you who don't remember the original story. The characterizations will be very similar if not the same. The main difference is Maddie's role. I've also grown a little as a writer so there's also that reflection. That's the reason I'm rewriting: to better the story.
Meredith sat in her bathtub with her knees pulled to her chest, staring at the pregnancy test laying face down at the opposite end of the tub. After three solid weeks of throwing up and one week since people started noticing and commenting, she finally accepted that she might be pregnant. She couldn't bring herself to look at it.
Scenarios kept running through her mind. What if she was? Would she be able to tell Mark? Oh, God, what about Derek? There were so many questions and no answers.
It was three o'clock in the morning and she was sitting in her bathtub afraid to look at a pregnancy test that could alter the course of her existence forever. Sighing, Meredith picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number.
"Who is this?" Cristina barked into the receiver. If it wasn't a really cool surgery, she was about to commit homicide.
"I need you to come over," Meredith said.
"Unless you're dead or dying, you better have a good explanation," Cristina growled, ignoring Burke's arms tightening around her.
Meredith leaned over and picked up the pregnancy test. "I'm pregnant," she said flatly.
Cristina froze. "I'll be right over." She flipped her phone shut and slid out of the cozy bed to find some clothes.
"Where are you going?" Burke asked groggily.
"Meredith's. She's having a crisis," Cristina said, slipping her feet into slippers. She wasn't going to bother with shoes.
"At this hour?" It was hard to comprehend much after such little sleep.
"Meredith's crises don't limit themselves to normal hours," she informed him, pausing to give him a long, lingering kiss. "This one will probably require many hours of talking so I'll see you tomorrow?"
Burke was left feeling very confused, which wasn't unusual considering his girlfriend's strange, close-knit relationship with Meredith Grey. He rolled over and pushed it out of his mind as he drifted back to sleep to the intoxicating scent of Cristina.
Cristina slipped into the bathroom and found Meredith curled up in the bathtub staring sightlessly at the shower head. "So, you're pregnant," she said by way of greeting.
Meredith shrugged. "That's what comes from, drunken, unbelievable, unprotected sex." She let her head fall forward to rest on her knee. "I just can't believe that this is happening to me."
Cristina sat beside the tub and copied Meredith's stance, without the burdened droop of the shoulders. "I guess I'm going to be your person?" she asked quietly.
Meredith shook her head. "No," she said miserably.
Cristina was deeply offended. "You were my person. Who is your person then? Izzie? Seriously?"
Meredith half-laughed, half-cried. "I don't have a person," she clarified. She held up the pregnancy test. "I just found out."
"So I'm going to be your person?" Cristina asked, just to be sure.
"I don't know," she said truthfully.
Cristina, once again, took offense. "You're going to have to be a little clearer when you insult me, Grey. Who, if not me, would be your person?" she demanded.
"Addison Shepherd?" Meredith suggested, dragging herself out of her thoughts long enough to joke.
"Right," Cristina snorted.
"She would probably do it if I asked her," Meredith pointed out, sliding down so she was laying. "She's just--a good person that way."
"And we're petty bitches who hate her," Cristina said, unimpressed. "Are we jumping on the Addison ship now that you're pregnant?"
"No," she laughed. Quickly sobering up, Meredith slowly rolled her head to look at Cristina. "You can't tell anyone."
"It's not like you'll make it embarrassingly public like I did," Cristina pointed out.
"No, I mean--" She clicked her tongue and sighed. "I slept with Mark Sloan, Cristina."
"Holy hell, Meredith. Was he, like, amazing? God, I'm so jealous right now." The implications suddenly hit her and she turned to look at Meredith with wide eyes. "You're carrying baby McSteamy?" she hissed.
Meredith nodded dejectedly.
"I kind of assumed it was either McDreamy's or you didn't know who the father was. Wow. So are you going to tell him before you..."
"I don't know if I can do it."
Cristina almost didn't catch the statement, it was so quiet. "Do what? Tell McSteamy?"
Meredith snorted. "I don't know if I can abort him or her." She gave Cristina a desperate, almost pleading look, willing her to understand.
Cristina clearly didn't. "Meredith, do you know what happens to pregnant interns? You have your entire career ahead of you! How could you possibly juggle a kid with residency and then becoming a world-class surgeon? Nannies? You know what it was like for you. You have more problems than almost anyone I know because of it."
The memories of her childhood were almost enough to decide for her. "What if this is my last chance?" she asked quietly.
Cristina lost her wind and frowned. "What do you mean?"
Meredith smoothed her hand over her stomach. "I mean...you have Burke. There will be another chance to have a kid somewhere down the road. I don't have him--"
"You can have him," Cristina interrupted.
"Not him him, but someone to spend the rest of my life with." God, she sounded like an idiot. "I feel like this baby might be my only chance."
Cristina sighed. "Okay, I understand that you need to think about it, but think about this. You're carrying baby McSteamy, meaning that it will be hell for you if people find out. Being a single mother will be hard enough. I just want you to think this through."
"I know." She smiled and stood up. "I'll make my decision and tell you what I decide. It's time to sleep."
George woke Izzie up the next morning. "Look what I found," he said to the half-asleep woman.
Izzie was brought completely out of sleep when she saw the positive pregnancy test in George's hand. "Oh my god," she whispered. "Where did you find it?"
"In the bathtub," George answered. "Cristina and Meredith are both asleep in Meredith's room. I don't know whose it is!"
Izzie sat back against the head board. "Meredith probably called Cristina all freaking out and stuff...or Cristina came over here because she was freaking out. It doesn't even matter. George, we're going to have a baby!"
Minutes later, Izzie burst into Meredith's room brandishing the pregnancy test like a wand. "Tell me who's pregnant," she ordered.
"It's Meredith," Cristina said instantly, pulling a pillow over her head to muffle the high-pitched voice.
Meredith put her foot in the middle of Cristina's back and pushed her out of the bed. "Squealer."
Izzie squealed. "You're going to have a baby?"
Meredith groaned and leaned over to look at her unfazed friend laying on the floor. She had taken all the blankets with her and was fast asleep again. "I am pregnant," she admitted, laying back.
"We're going to have a baby!" Izzie said happily. "Have you scheduled a doctor's appointment yet? What doctor are you going to have?"
Meredith thought longingly of sleep and envied Cristina for being able to sleep through Izzie's chatter. "One far away from the hospital," she said. Then she paused and frowned. "I don't even have a doctor's confirmation yet; just a home pregnancy test."
"And symptoms," Izzie pointed out. "I can't believe I didn't notice sooner!" She wiggled excitedly. "Can I come with you to the doctor? Oh, I can't wait."
"Iz," Meredith said quietly. Izzie, hearing the seriousness in Meredith's voice, paused in her excited rambling. "I don't even know if I can keep him or her."
The words sobered Izzie. "I know it will be hard," she said delicately, "but we can help you with late-night feedings and early-morning changings, and we can baby sit when you have to work and we're off."
The insistence and offers of help made Meredith's eyes sting. She was such an emotional, hormonal wreck. "I still haven't decided. When I do, after I've confirmed the pregnancy, I'll let you know."
Izzie reluctantly nodded and left to relay the conversation to George.
Meredith could hear their muffled voices. She unconsciously rubbed her stomach, not knowing what to do. The pregnancy test could've given a false positive, but Meredith knew her body and she knew something was different. She knew in her heart that she was pregnant.
-
Meredith swore Cristina to secrecy about Mark. She didn't want anyone to know she slept with him, even Izzie and George. Of course, she was more worried about Derek finding out, but she kept that to herself.
The doctor's confirmation was all she needed to send the other interns into a debate about whether or not she should keep the baby. Izzie was in the process of making a pro-con list when Cristina suddenly said, "Cheetoh."
Meredith immediately tensed, her fork in her mouth. She slowly turned around to see an amused Derek Shepherd. "Hey," he said with a charming smile.
Meredith was not endeared to him in the least, at least not with her stomach churning the way it was. "Did you need something?" she asked through her embarrassingly big bite of salad.
Derek raised his eyebrows and handed her the chart. "Maddie's surgery is today. I thought you would like to scrub in." His eyes ran over her pale face. "If you're up for it."
How could he ask that? "Of course she's up for it," Cristina cut in, offended on her friend's behalf.
Meredith shot her a grateful look and made to stand. Derek put his hand on her shoulder. "Eat," he prodded. "Her surgery's not for another several hours. I would like you to discuss the finer points of the surgery with her sister when she arrives within the next hour though."
Derek gave them all a dazzling smile and exited the cafeteria.
"He just ordered you to eat," Cristina said, whistling at his audacity.
"Who, Shepherd?" Alex asked, plopping down next to Izzie with his tray. He smirked when Meredith began eating again. "You're going obey his orders?"
"I'm hungry," Meredith retorted. "When I'm hungry, it's nice to actually eat. I was already planning on eating when he came up. Unless you think I should starve?"
Alex raised his eyebrows. "Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of a strange bed," he snapped.
Meredith dropped her fork and stood up. She looked like she was about to go postal on Alex, but she walked away without a word.
Izzie gave Alex an icy look and ran after Meredith. "Way to go." Cristina smacked him on the back of the head. "Truly." She followed Izzie.
Alex shrugged and picked up Izzie's juice. He hadn't really said anything that wasn't already expected of him. They were just mental.
"Alex is an ass," Izzie said breathlessly, catching up to Meredith. "He says things. Don't listen to him, Mer."
Meredith turned to her and smiled. "He was right though."
"About what exactly?" Izzie demanded.
"I'm pregnant from a one-night-stand, and I still get this feeling in my stomach every time I see Derek--"
"Nausea is expected in pregnancy," Izzie pointed out jokingly.
Meredith let out a cross between a laugh and a sob. "I can't keep this baby," she said sadly. "It's me. I'm the dirty ex-mistress who fell in love with her married boss. I slept with a man who was in love with another woman and now I'm pregnant with his baby."
"I thought you didn't remember who it was!" Izzie said.
Meredith sighed. She hadn't exactly said that, but Izzie assumed. "I have to go talk to Sarah," she evaded, ducking into a closing elevator.
-
Meredith was sitting in her room staring at the ceiling, just thinking. She'd been doing that a lot since that night.
Maddie's surgery had gone without a hitch, and she was in recovery. It wasn't a miracle surgery, where she got to walk straight out of the hospital and lived a long, painless life, but it was a start.
She was getting too close, she knew, but Maddie was just so loveable and easy to talk to. She made everyone around her love her and want to make everything better. Her older sister was the same way, and Meredith couldn't help feeling a connection. Sarah was intelligent, and she was constantly online, pretty much researching everything Meredith talked to her about.
The best thing she could do was excuse herself from the case, but how could she? She reached for the phone and dialed the hospital, checking up with a nurse on Maddie's recovery.
After hanging up with the hospital, Meredith didn't put down the phone. She stared at it for a long while before dialing information and getting the phone number to the hospital in New York where Mark worked. She needed to know if she was making the right decision in terminating the pregnancy.
When the phone was answered, Meredith felt like her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth. "Hello?" the voice on the other end said, annoyed that no one was answering.
Meredith took a deep breath. "Mark Sloan," she blurted.
"Excuse me?"
"Dr. Mark Sloan. He's a surgeon. Is he...there?" Meredith silently cursed her awkwardness.
"He's in surgery right now. Do you want to leave him a message?"
Meredith shook her head and hung up. Mark didn't need to know. She would just have to trust herself. Terminating the pregnancy was her decision and she didn't need anyone else to confirm whether or not she was doing the right thing.
She bolted to the bathroom and emptied her stomach. It was the right thing to do...right?
Don't let go
I've wanted this far too long
Mistakes become regrets
I've learned to love abuse
Please show me what I'm looking for