"What the fuck did you do to my sister?"

"Trevor, watch your damn mouth," Sarah snapped. She turned to Derek. "You need to explain to us why our little sister is having seizures because there's going to be some damage inflicted here, and I'm not guaranteeing that it's not going to be done toward this expensive machinery."

Derek bit back a grin at her wording. It wasn't the time for smiles, and he knew that none of the Johnson kids would appreciate it. "The surgery I performed on Maddie was not a guaranteed fix. I got as much of the tumor I could, but there was damage I hadn't anticipated and I had to close earlier than I wanted." He shifted slightly. "Because of the surgery, there is a bigger possibility that the chemo will finish what I essentially started, but--"

"But now she has seizures," Sarah finished in a hard voice. Any good humor was gone, and she stood before her two brothers as a defense of anything that could possibly hurt them.

"It's not a good sign, but it's not a bad sign either." Derek breathed in deeply and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "I know you're angry with me, but there's no way I could have known. The surgery was a success, Sarah."

"Yeah?" Sarah asked. She narrowed her eyes and leaned forward intently. "There's a surgeon in Miami that I've been emailing. He thinks he can really help Maddie. Give me one reason I shouldn't have her transferred."

Derek sat back in his chair, brows raised. Sarah meant business. "Can I think about it or do you need the reason at this moment?"

"Don't get cute with me, Dr. Shepherd. I understand that you're a good surgeon, the best on the west coast, but there's always room for improvement. I need my sister to live, and I will transfer her as many times as I need to in order to make that possible."

The door clicked behind her, and even her brothers looked stunned at her vehemence. Bobby followed her without a word, but Trevor lingered.

"Don't make me bend you over my knee," Derek joked warily.

Trevor narrowed his eyes as if daring him to try. "I want to understand what's going on with Maddie," he said begrudgingly, his eyes moving to his feet. "I'm not good with researching like Sarah, or even science or whatever, but I do know how to care for her when she can't keep anything down after her treatments. Can you--explain it to me?"

Derek studied the boy closely for hint of mockery. "Okay," he said agreeably. He gestured at the chair Sarah had been previously using to take out her frustrations on. "The first thing we'll talk about is the seizures and why they're happening."

-

Cristina and Meredith were on their way to the clinic for Meredith's appointment. Cristina was driving and Meredith was sitting in the passenger seat with her feet braced on the dash. She was debating whether or not to call Mark. It wasn't too late to tell him he was going to be a father.

Meredith let her head fall forward to rest on her knee. It would do no good to tell him he was going to be a father when she was about to terminate the pregnancy.

Since that first call almost two weeks earlier, she had talked to Mark almost every day. It hadn't only consisted of dirty talk, but of...everything: Izzie and her dirty word scrabble, Alex's general evilness, George and Callie, adorable Maddie and her dysfunctional family...everything. Even Derek and Addison.

"Stop," Cristina ordered, giving Meredith an annoyed look.

"What?" Meredith asked with a puzzled frown. She hadn't done anything particularly annoying since getting into the car. What was Cristina's problem?

"You're being all sad. It looks like you want to talk, but I'm not good at the whole talking thing." She gave Meredith a quick glare as if she were about to suddenly force Cristina into some deep and meaningful conversation.

"I don't need to talk," Meredith protested weakly. Her hand was inching toward her pocket. "It's just--"

"Seriously!" Cristina honked the horn and flipped an elderly woman off as she swerved. "You probably need to talk to someone before you..." she hesitated, "make this decision." She mentally rolled her eyes at her delicate wording. Meredith was a big girl.

Meredith clutched at her phone. She desperately wanted to make the call. "I did the counciling," she said almost defensively.

Cristina rolled her eyes. "You actually listen to that line of shit they're feeding you? Because that's exactly what it is: shit. If--Bitch! Get the hell off the road!" She laid on the horn, letting out her frustrations. "Non-driving sons of bitches."

Meredith slowly skimmed through her contact list, though she knew the number by heart. God, she was so pathetic. She hit the send button and slowly put the phone to her ear.

Cristina glanced at her and mentally sighed in relief. Meredith was probably calling Izzie. The blonde was good at the touchy feely crap.

"Yeah?" Mark yawned into the phone.

"Did I wake you?" Meredith asked worriedly. She took her feet off the dash and sat them on the floor.

"Yeah," he purred, rolling onto his back and tucking his arm behind his head. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Meredith groaned, ignoring Cristina's road rage. "I'm having a...very bad day," she said, her hand hovering around her mid-section. She didn't want to get attached to the thought of a mini-McSteamy, but the truth was the visual was becoming more and more pronounced each time she talked with him.

"You on Shepherd's service again?" Mark asked sympathetically. It wasn't that she was being treated badly. She was under the weather, and he was treating her as if she would break. It was so classical Derek that he couldn't help feeling more endeared than annoyed on her behalf.

"No. I'm just--There's something I'm about to do, and I don't know if it's the right thing. I don't want to regret it tomorrow." She tried to ignore Cristina's road rage as she battled her way through Seattle.

Mark laughed. "The truth is you won't know for sure until it's all said and done. You may regret it, but at least you're doing something for the moment."

"You're very philosophical so soon after working up," Meredith observed with a small smile.

"My unconscious mind is invaded by wise men of the ancient past. It goes away after my first cup of coffee."

Meredith laughed out loud. "Thank you, Mark."

"Anytime."

"You called Sloan?" Cristina demanded as they pulled into the parking lot parallel to the clinic.

"Sue me," Meredith muttered. She stared at the building, feeling as if she was making the biggest mistake of her entire life.

Cristina stayed silent to allow Meredith to steel herself. "Ready?" she asked softly.

"Ready," Meredith said unconvincingly. She straightened her back and marched into the clinic ahead of Cristina.

"I guess she's gonna do this," Cristina muttered, following her friend inside.

-

Meredith walked into her house and was immediately bombarded with Izzie's baking. When the girl felt any emotion besides the frequent and unpleasant laziness, she tended to bake. She picked up a cookie and bit into it as she sat at the dining room table.

"Are you okay?" Callie asked hesitantly. She had been hanging around the house more and more since she began dating George. Though she didn't exactly like the other girl due to her complete inability to stand on her own two feet, she was sympathetic toward the difficult choice Meredith had to make.

"I'm fine," Meredith said, spraying cookie across the various magazines and mail spread across the table. "I couldn't do it."

Izzie turned around so fast cake batter flew out of the bowl she had in her hands. "You're having the baby?" she squealed, paying no heed to the batter.

"I'm having the baby," Meredith confirmed. Izzie's excitement added to her own and she couldn't contain her grin.

Izzie started forward, and her foot went directly into the cake batter. She shrieked as she slid straight into George, sending them both to the floor.

Callie and Meredith cringed as George's head bounced off the floor no less than three times.

"Oh, God." Izzie looked down at George. "Are you okay?"

Moaning in pain, George lightly pushed Izzie. "I will be when you get off of me."

Meredith bit her lip to keep from laughing, but she soon gave up and let it out.

"She's pregnant," Callie said, shrugging when Izzie and George looked at her.

"I am," Meredith said through her laughter, "I really am."

"Ugh. I have to clean up this mess," Izzie said.

George finally pulled himself off the floor, wincing at the pain in his head. There would definitely be a knot.

Half of my mistakes I've made 'cause I was moving to quickley
Half of them where made 'cause my heart was moving too slow
Nobody can tell you a damn thing, if you ain't listening
Oh, And half of my mistakes I've made 'cause I could'nt let go