It didn't take Tony long before he fell asleep, really asleep unlike the lat few nights where he had remained hyper alert to what was going on around him. He envied Michelle's fatigue lately, the way she fell asleep so easily. As he slept he could see her there, long summer dress blowing in the breeze, they were back in the market stalls in Johannesburg. Michelle had her hair tied up in a messy bun which rested on her shoulders as she handed the market holder some change before grabbing the ice cream she had purchased and tasting it. He took a photo of her, standing there in the aisle, then grabbed her arm as they walked beside each other. She was laughing, he didn't know at what, and as she leaned her head towards him, he leaned his in towards her and laughed with her. She pecked him on the cheek, then something caught her eye up ahead and she ran over to inspect it, he watched her youthfulness with awe. His hand on his heart he mouthed the words "I love you." As she smiled and mouthed back, "I love you two." A child tugged on his shirt and he looked down to see the grubby face of a seven year old boy, holding out a flower. Tony smiled and grabbed it from him, fetching some change from his pocket. He looked up to show her what he had brought her but she was gone. He looked around, panicked, then she appeared from behind a stall, looking at the scarfs that were on offer. Taking a deep breath he stepped closer before being stopped by the crowd as they ran around him, trying to get out of the way. Tony tried to push his way through them but there were so many. When the crowd parted she was gone. He looked around at the faces nearby but she wasn't there, then he noticed the gap nearby and looked down. Her body lay there, motionless, a crimson stain on the front of her cream dress. He skidded beside her, falling on his knees and took her in his arms, cradling her as he held her close, moving the hair from her face and looking around for any sign that someone might help.
"NO!" He screamed.
"Tony." She placed a hand on his cheek, he'd been moving around in his sleep, his hands squeezing her tightly as he'd laid behind her with his arms around her.
"I'm all right." He promised unconvincingly.
"You're not all right, your exhausted you need to get some rest."
"I will, when all this is over." He told her, obviously his mind wasn't going to let him get any rest just yet.
"What were you dreaming about?"
"It's nothing." He said shaking the thought from his mind. Don't leave me he thought to himself, don't ever leave me. Sensing his thoughts Michelle put a hand on his cheek and smiled.
"I'm not going anywhere. I promise" Tony put his hand on hers and squeezed it gently. "Go back to sleep." He told her as he got out of the blankets.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to get something to drink." He told her, heading for the kitchen. She watched him go without saying a word, what could she say?
"Yes." Jacob said answering his phone as he unstacked some more boxes in the back room.
"Are you still in position?"
"Yes."
"When we give the word, take her out."
"Understood." He said putting the phone away and continuing about his mundane duties.
"Are you all right?" Jack asked Tony as he poured himself a glass of water.
"It's nothing."
"It'll pass. I promise." Jack had been there after Terri had died, the fear of loosing a loved one was such a strong force that it could completely turn your world around.
"I'm worried about her." Tony admitted.
"Michelle's a tough girl. She'll make it through this."
"Don't humour me Jack. We both know this is a one way job."
"I'll admit that the odds aren't great but they're not hopeless."
"How did you do this? leave Terri at home with Kim…?"
"I had different priorities, I was a different person. You're better than me Tony. You always have been."
"No one ever tells you when you sign up that's its for life."
"Hmm." Jack often had that very thought himself.
"I thought that once we were out of there it would all be behind us."
"At least you walked away. I never could, not for long."
"Well that's not me Jack. I don't want to be you. I want to come home to my wife every night, to hear about what our kids did in school that day and not off on some mission god knows where for weeks on end."
"Then don't be. The choice is yours."
"Is it?" He scoffed, he didn't feel like he was in control at the moment. Someone else held his cards at the moment, he was just their puppet.
"You have something I don't have Tony."
"Yeah. What's that?"
"Michelle." Jack said sincerely, then grabbed his coffee and went outside to keep looking through the files. Tony looked back towards the hallway. Would it be enough? Everything still seemed so final.
The knock at the door woke Michelle as she looked at the clock, 5:12am. Who could it be? She pulled on her robe and went out to see who it was.
"What's this?" Tony asked opening the door and greeting the young woman who stood before him.
"Jack said you might need some help." Tony looked at Jack. What else had he been up to?
"I didn't think you'd want Michelle left alone." Jack told him as he stood there sipping on his coffee.
"Thank you." He said letting her in.
"So. What's new?" She asked.
"Huh." Tony scoffed. She'd always had a way with words.
"Chloe." Michelle was surprised to see Tony showing her through the kitchen.
"Hi Michelle." She said in her usual by the way manner. Michelle looked at Tony.
"Jack thought you might like some company."
"Oh. Thank you." Michelle said looking at Jack and then Chloe.
"Congratulations on the marriage and the baby." Chloe added.
"We'll leave you to it." Jack said herding Chloe outside, "It's almost time to go." Jack reminded him. They didn't say anything. Tony lowered his head the went to pour her a glass of milk, she drank some, silent in each others presence. With so much to say, they said nothing.
"Tony."
"Michelle. No." He decided he didn't want to go there.
"But."
"Shh." He said, pulling her close and kissing her gently. Then rubbing her arms as he let her go. "I had a lot of time to think last night and you know what I decided."
"What?" She tried to say, the lump in her throat making it hard to speak.
"You are far too important for me to screw this up."
"Hmm." She chuckled softly, he was glad to see a tiny hint of sparkle in her eye again.
"I want you to have this." He said, handing her the photo of the two of them by the lake. "This is how I'm going to remember you, in happier times, and when I get back I promise that every day will be as good as that night by the lake."
"Promise me you wont take any unnecessary risks." She made him promise.
"I'll be home soon. I promise."
"Sorry to interrupt Tony but we need to go." Jack said as Chloe came to stand by her side.
"You bring him home safe."
"Count on it." Jack promised her.
"You're my world baby, nothing can keep me from that."
"I love you." She said, her hand on her stomach as she watched him walk to the car. He wanted to look at her one last time, but he was to scared to turn around in case he chickened out. He opened the car door, threw his bags inside, then raced to her side picked her up and held her tight as he kissed her with every bit of passion he had in him. Drawing breath, he kissed her forehead, smiled and climbed into the passenger seat beside Jack. His last image of her was in the rear view mirror as Jack drove away, one hand on their child, the other on her mouth, too strong for her own good to let herself cry.
"Whose this?" The pilot asked.
"He's with me." Tony sized him up,
"I was only told to pick up you."
"He comes or I don't go." Tony insisted.
"All right." The pilot said, "We don't have much time. Get in." He could always shoot him on the way if Delton didn't approve. Jack and Tony threw their bags into the large cargo plane and crawled inside. Four other men sat inside, full commando gear and looking as mean as a cut snake. Taking up a position in the middle of the plane Tony and Jack sat in silence, it was going to be a long flight.. Tony felt his breast pocket, the ultrasound image still safely tucked inside, and reminded himself why he was doing this.
It was a long flight to Johannesburg, Jack was glad when he looked over and saw Tony fast asleep. He hated seeing his friend so tortured especially when there was nothing he could do to help. Jack kept a close eye on the men, trying to size up their weaknesses. They were a close knit group, it wasn't going to be easy. The one closest to him was at least six foot four, his biceps as big as a small cushion and covered in tattoos memorialising his conquests. He had a crew cut which covered his receding hairline and a nasty scar across his right eye. His weapon of choice a ten centimetre double blade which he never let go of, juggling it, sharpening it and using it to slice up the apple he ate for lunch. Still it was no match for a bullet shot from a distance Jack thought to himself. Two more sat playing cards, smaller than the first and with less bulk but still bigger than the average citizen. They laughed and drank as the tried to beat each other at poker. Jack was sure he could take them out with a few mind tricks, they seemed the sort to argue over menial disputes in an ever going contest for superiority. But it was the fourth, silent who sat watching them all who was a mystery to him. He looked like, like a mother watching her children at play, short cropped hair and a more official looking military attire he seemed to be one who liked to follow the worlds, needed order and consistency to make sense of the world around him, and if Jack had to guess he would have picked him for a highly religious man as well. His ego in check he was going to be harder to manipulate. Sensing he was being watched Jack pretended to close his eyes to rest, his had ready on his gun.
"Whatever happens out there it can't be traced back to me." Delton told Stutter.
"It's already taken care of sir."
"I'll need my plane ready. As soon as I know he's safe I'll be leaving the country for a while."
"Very good sir. Anything else you need me to do for you?"
"Contact our man in Los Angeles. Make sure he's kept up to date."
"He's just waiting for your word."
"Don't get me wrong. I wish it hadn't come to this."
"Of course not sir."
"That will be all Stutter."
"Yes sir."
Delton sat down and looked at the picture of his sister and her son. It had all started so innocently, a few extra weapons for some blood diamonds which he could move on the black market. The extra cash had helped him expand his empire to what it was today. No one was meant to get hurt. He wondered what would become of his world now? Would his superior think him a liability? Would he be the next to disappear? All these thoughts continued to run through his mind. Almeida was a good man, but he knew too much and he was the kind of man who kept digging until he found what he wanted. He knew what he had to do, it didn't mean that he liked it though, and then there was his wife. Such a tragedy. He was glad he'd never found the time to have a family, his responsibilities to his company were his only obligations and right now even that was more than he could handle.