Richard needed Kahlan to turn back around, to look at him. He glanced over at the side table, finding his excuse.
"Mother Confessor, I need to change your bandage." He said cautiously, gauging her reaction. Richard saw her tense up, and he wasn't sure why. What was he doing wrong? He furrowed his brows as he watched her move to a sitting position in front of him, her eyes cold and hard.
Kahlan continued to stare at him.
"Am I doing something wrong?" Richard asked, his eyes searching hers for an answer. She shook her head. "You're lying."
Kahlan drew her head back, her mouth slightly parted while her eyes narrowed at him. She had never been accused of lying before - more importantly, no one had ever caught her lying before. She wasn't sure how to react. The Mother Confessor lying, the irony was ridiculous. Kahlan watched as his brows wrinkled together. He was truly confused. Perhaps she was making too much of a deal about the whole situation. She looked down at her hands, fumbling at the laces of her dress.
"It's nothing," She finally stated, her gaze meeting Richard's. "I thought Ester would change my bandages." Her tone was colder than she intended, and she saw pain flash across Richard's eyes. Kahlan hated this. This was just another experience where he would sneak his way in closer to her and she would end up letting foreign feelings reign over her. Kahlan couldn't allow that to happen. She couldn't figure out why it was bothering her so much.
"Kahlan," Richard froze when he said her name, realizing he had slipped up and hadn't addressed her by her title. Kahlan's head jerked up as her eyes widened and she stared at Richard, making no move to hide her shock. He felt small under her gaze, his heart racing as he half expected her to confess him right there. He was fairly certain it was incredibly disrespectful to refer to her as anything but the Mother Confessor. Richard stammered. "I'm, I'm sorry, I didn't-"
"No," She felt moisture pooling in her eyes as she smiled sadly and shook her head. "It's fine. I prefer it, actually." Kahlan blinked and wiped her eyes with her hands, trying to make the potential tears fall away. Realization hit Richard.
"No one calls you by your name, do they?" He felt his heart sink, her reaction to him saying her name was so profound. Richard doubted she ever had a friend, anyone close enough to call her that without it being disrespectful. He wanted nothing more than to gather her in his arms and assure her that everything was fine, that he was with her now, that he was her friend.
"Other Confessors did, before I became the Mother Confessor. Now, everyone just calls me by my title," She looked down at her hands, her eyes nervously darting around until she met Richard's gaze again. "It means a lot that you would call me by my name - regardless if you were scared I was going to harm you." She sighed as she looked over to the items on the dresser. He smiled and Kahlan's gaze returned to him.
"Well, Kahlan, I need to change your bandage." She laughed lightly as she nodded, looking down and carefully peeling the bandage of her skin. Richard slowly swung his legs over the bed, his knees bumping against Kahlan's as he adjusted himself to a sitting position. Kahlan tilted her head and he realized he was still shirtless. She was staring at his ribs. He chuckled before telling her everything was fine, that he was healing. She nodded as she watched Richard dip his fingers in the paste.
"Ester told me this may sting a bit," He looked at her and waited for her confirmation nod before he applied the paste. She jumped slightly at the cool contact, but still felt the warmth of his skin on her. The paste was wet and sticky, and it slightly smelled. Kahlan scrunched her nose and Richard laughed. He looked at her nervously before spreading his legs and inching closer, moving his head by her neck. Kahlan froze, unaware of what was happening. He let out a soft breath, sending shivers down Kahlan's spine. Richard repeated the action, letting out soft breaths and blowing lightly on the paste. He saw her skin prickle up and he smiled as he blew out another breath.
Richard moved back, resting a finger onto the paste, only to find that it was only partially dried. He scrunched his nose. His body was beginning to ache from leaning over, his arms having to rest on his knees at odd angles in order to reach her neck. Richard looked up at her as he moved to the very edge of the bed, his knees making contact with her cot. Kahlan's face bunched up in confusion as Richard leaned forward, pressing his palms to each side of her, hearing the cot creak under the additional weight. The position was easier for him and allowed him better access to make the paste dry. He brushed his hand by the side of her neck that was untouched by the wound, sweeping her hair out of the way as he leaned in and applied air once again. After a few minutes, Richard tested the paste - unfortunately, finding it dry.
He reluctantly pulled away and smiled at her, Kahlan having the most dumbfounded look on her face. "Helps it dry faster." He chucked when she shook her head, smiling. He reached for the ointment after cleaning his hands, dipping his fingers into the brown substance and looking into Kahlan's eyes.
"This is going to hurt." She nodded when he began touching the area around the wound with the ointment, lightly massaging her skin. The pain was horrendous, her wound feeling as though it was being pressed together and torn into - even though he never touched it. Despite the pain, Kahlan relished his touch. He was so kind to her, being as gentle as possible. She cringed and he stopped his movements, looking at her with concern.
"I'm fine," Kahlan said through clenched teeth, giving a single nod for Richard to continue. He frowned and then did so. To his surprise, blood didn't leak out of the wound at a faster rate, as Ester had warned. Richard smiled at her as he reluctantly broke contact, moving back into the bed so that the back of his knees made contact with the mattress. She smiled.
"Thanks." Kahlan reached for the bandage but Richard lightly grabbed her wrist, rubbing her skin with the pad of his thumb.
"Ester said to let the wound stay exposed for a bit, it helps the healing process." Kahlan froze under his touch, disappointed when he let go of his grasp on her wrist. They sat in silence for a moment before Kahlan gained the courage to speak.
"What was your life like before you became the Seeker?" She looked at him through her lashes, her head turned downward. She heard him chuckle and returned her gaze to him. Richard scratched at his hairline.
"Safer," He laughed when she scoffed at him. "Peaceful. Nothing eventful really happened. My brother, Mark, has a high position in Hartland, but other than that, my life is .. well, was .. rather normal. I was a woods guide. Come to think of it, my life was normal until a certain woman in white came in and saved me from the swords of some rather violent D'Harans." He joked. "After that, I bothered my grandfather about you for months until he told me he was a wizard. Then I began asking him about you again, and all he informed me of was that you lived in the Midlands. I suppose he didn't want to tell me that the woman I was so persistent on knowing was the Mother Confessor." Richard smiled at her and she looked at him rather confused.
"You wanted to find me?" Her eyebrows scrunched together as her mouth fell open in shock.
"Of course," Richard was startled she would even ask such a question. "You saved my life, I owed you. And then you save my life once again. I owe you everything, Kahlan Amnell." She closed her mouth as she glanced to the side.
"What is your life like?" He asked, aware she would probably brush off the question and change the topic.
"Lonely." The word pierced through Richard. She looked unaffected by her statement. "Everyone is either scared of me, or intimidated by me. The Midlands treats me as if I'm a power that is larger than life itself. No one bothers to try and know me. All the women are scared I'm going to take their men from them, take one as a mate. In Aydindril I can barely do anything for myself, the maidservants and staff always insisting they get me exactly what I need. All I had was my sister, Dennee, but then she disappeared. She went in hiding because she was with child. I don't even know if she's alive-"
"She is," Richard interrupted, Kahlan's gaze questioning. "Before I was brought here, I saved her from a D'Haran quad. She was the kindest of any of the Confessors I've encountered, full of life and personality. She thanked me profusely, and she was certainly still with child." He smiled and was caught off guard when Kahlan practically jumped from her seat and hugged him, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. Richard smiled as he encircled his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. She pulled her head from his neck and showered his face with kisses, her attitude jubilant.
"Richard Cypher, you are a rare person." Her eyes beamed and Richard looked up at her questionably. Kahlan's clenched her eyes shut as she sucked in air, biting her lower lip. "I'm sorry, this is .. inappropriate." He laughed as she pulled herself off of him, settling back into her previous seat.
"Dennee always had a large and kind personality. Most Confessors, myself included," She glanced at Richard before returning her gaze to her hands. "Cut themselves off from emotions and face the reality of what we are, what we can never have. Dennee, however, always had such life and positivity. She always assured me that we would be happy one day." Kahlan's voice faltered and she wiped at her eyes. Richard changed the subject.
"She was wearing black." Kahlan looked up at him, shrugging slightly. He elaborated. "You wear white."
"The Mother Confessor always wears white, all other Confessors wear black." He nodded as he ran his hand through his hair, debating whether or not to voice his next question.
"Other than Dennee, have you ever had a friend?" Her sad eyes met his as she slowly shook her head. Richard smiled at her. "Well, now you do." Kahlan smiled and continued to shake her head.
"Everyone is scared to talk to me, let alone be friendly." Her blue eyes stared into him. "Being touched is unfathomable."
Richard realized what she was saying. Aside from him, she had never been touched in a friendly matter. She had probably never hugged anyone aside from Dennee - and now, himself. It was no wonder, a touch of a Confessor could destroy a man. He had thought the same thing, never wanting to touch them. But now he found himself never wanting to stop touching her - and she was certainly the most powerful of all the Confessors.
"I'm sorry I was so impulsive," She began, nervously looking around the room. "I was just so happy to hear that Dennee is still alive and well." Kahlan's lower lip began quivering and she blinked away the tears forming in her eyes as she smiled sadly. Richard moved closer, wrapping his arms around her and letting her sink into his chest, her cheek making contact with his flesh. Kahlan began sobbing and Richard felt her tears fall onto his skin. He wanted nothing more than to take away all her pain and sorry.
"Shh," He ran his fingers down her hair. "It's okay, Kahlan. I'm here, I'm right here." She sobbed even more. "I'm always going to be here." Kahlan's crying stopped suddenly, and Richard felt her pull away, meeting his eyes with her red rimmed orbs.
"Don't say things you don't mean, Richard."
He stared at her. "Of course I mean it, Kahlan."
She began shaking her head vigorously. "You don't. Soon enough, you will fulfill the prophecy and defeat Darken Rahl, and then you will return to Hartland and live your life. I'm only here for a short duration, and soon you will leave." She waved her hands in the air. "It doesn't even matter - or, well, it shouldn't. We don't even know each other." Richard pressed his hand under her chin, forcing her to look up at him.
"I have wondered about you and searched for you for a year. Despite everything my grandfather said to try and discourage me, I always held hope that I would meet you." He moved his face closer to hers. "I felt I have known you my entire life." She laughed as she batted his hand away, pushing him away from her. Kahlan reached for the bandage and Richard caught her hand, taking the bandage from her.
Kahlan sighed and let Richard apply the bandage, his warm fingers running over her skin.
"I'm sorry for what I said last night," He nervously glanced at her. "About my grandfather warning me about Confessors."
"He wouldn't be a very good grandfather if he didn't warn you." Kahlan said, diverting her gaze when Richard looked towards her.
"Why were you in Hartland?" He questioned, now sitting in front of her as she poked at her bandage.
Kahlan licked her lips and sighed. "To try and convince a certain man of high position to not side with D'Hara."
"Mark?" Richard asked incredulously. She nodded.
"Darken Rahl heard of what I was going to do and sent a quad to find me." He nodded at her words.
"When I left, he hadn't said anything about D'Hara."
She shrugged, her eyes meeting his. "I realized it was a danger to come into the territory if Rahl was going to send quads who would kill innocent people on my behalf. When I saw them corner you, I realized it was safer for the people of Hartland if I left. My ruling resides over the Midlands, not Westland."
"Why do you cut yourself off emotionally, Kahlan?" He asked, Kahlan's eyes betraying emotion. The sudden change in conversation was unexpected, but Richard held off the question as long as he could. He wished he knew more about Confessors, if he had, it would have spared Kahlan the pain of having to explain it to him.
"If I become to close to a man and develop feelings for him, and if we were to indulge in an act of passion, the hold on my power would be released and would confess him." She put it so simply and Richard just stared at her. He wasn't aware that a Confessor's power would release if they were to make love to a man. Now he understood why Confessors shut themselves off, if they allowed someone in, then they could only end up hurting themselves of the person they loved - or both.
The only problem was that Kahlan had already let him in.
Richard was fairly certain he was developing incredibly deep feelings for her. Despite her being a Confessor, he was sure that he could find a way around it. He had to. How could he fall so hard for a woman he just met? All Richard wanted to do was gather Kahlan in his arms and assure her that someone would find a way to be with her without her magic affecting them. He was determined, but he could never let her know. All he could do was be a support to her. Richard knew he shouldn't voice his next thought, but the words spilled from his mouth. He didn't regret them.
"I'm sure you wouldn't need confession to make a man fall in love with you, Kahlan."