AN: Seth breaks loose here. Please be warned there is some violence from him but I assure you this will be the only time. Hang in there with me; everyone has to hit the worst of the worst before they can heal.
Okay, you know what belongs to other people and that I don't claim them.
JigsawRose, thank you girl for being my beta, I couldn't do this without you.
On to the chapter.
Chapter 8
*Jacob POV*
"Leah, will you do the shopping for me this week please…I have a lot of work to do and I will have the boys coming the weekend?"
"Yeah sure Jake no problem, can you make me a list?"
"I'll try to get it done today at lunch."
"Okay, want me to come and get some for you?"
"Ummm… Yeah that would be great and I'll give you some cash then."
"Okay see you at noon."
I jet out the door shoving on my work shirt. Leah has been a Godsend for me. She is even washing my clothes and running my errands. I can't believe how much of a help she has been these past few weeks. I like the talks we have been having at night are so nice too. I can't believe how much we have in common. I push Leah out of my head and focus on what to have her get for groceries.
Billy wants mac-n-cheese…Seth wants ravioli, so much like Bella that boy. I wonder if I should invite Bella over to eat with us. No she wouldn't and if she did she would be uncomfortable. I dismiss the last thought as fast as it appears.
My morning is daunting and just downright boring. I actually have time to write up a list, yeah a whole grocery list. So when Leah shows up at noon to get it I am ready to give it to her, now remember I may be a dad but I am a guy as well, so like a typical guy I have forgotten to stop and get out money from an ATM, so now I have to give her my card. Yeah I know, what am I thinking?
While I am mentally kicking myself I hear my guys…
"Damn look at that fox, I got to have that!"
"Dude, she is a fine looking specimen."
"Who is she?"
"That is none of your concern." Whoa what the hell was that?
"Jake is she yours?"
"No, but she is a friend. You will not even think about getting with her." Okay why does it matter to me?
"Jake, hey, here I made this for you." She hands me some lunch.
"Hi Leah. Thanks you didn't have to do that. Here is the list and just take my card but keep the receipt so I know what you have spent."
"That's okay. I saw you didn't have anything this morning."
"Thanks for doing this Leah." Gesturing to the list I handed her.
"No problem, really."
Wow why am I feeling nervous? This is weird.
We hug goodbye a little awkwardly, I don't quite know why. I walk back to the guys.
"I thought she wasn't your girlfriend Jake."
"Can it Mike or I'll tell Jess all your secrets."
He shuts up fast and walk away to eat his lunch. The rest of the day goes just like the morning. I find myself rushing home and wondering if Leah is there. Hoping I guess would be a better word.
I get home and walk in; take a look around everything is absolutely clean.
"Suppers in the oven Leah made you a plate too. She seemed different today, you wouldn't happen to know why would you Jake?"
"No why would I?"
"I don't know. Just, thought I'd ask."
I roll my eyes and get my plate. Mmmm…fried chicken. I scarf down supper and head to my room. My head is full of the feelings I had when Leah showed up today. I drift off to sleep and dream of Leah, of all people Leah and I don't know why.
*Bella POV*
To do list for today; get kids to school, work, oh and lunch with Jas. I smile to myself at the thought of lunch with Jas.
"Good morning mama." I hear my boys say in unison.
"Good morning boys." I sit down with my coffee and clear my throat. "Boys, ummm… we need to talk tonight after we get home okay?"
"Whatever." Seth rolls his eyes.
Before I can say a word to him my dad speaks up. "Seth, what have I said about respect for your mother?"
"Sorry mama." He bows his head.
"It's alright baby, I know things are funny for you right now." I look at my dad, he just nods at me. "That's what I want to talk to you about. I want to clear things up a little and answer all your questions a fully as possible." I put my hand over his in an attempt to comfort him.
"Really…No more lies or secrets?" I'm a little taken back by his question.
"Yes baby all the answers I can give, I promise." He looks at me and I think for just a second there is a flash of light.
"Okay, I'll be there." Holy shit that's James's smile, this can't be good.
I take them to school, and head to work. Somehow I arrive a little early, so I use my few minutes of time to call Jake and let him know I need his help. He lets me know whatever I need him he will be there when I get home with the boys. I worry the whole day about my talk with the boys and the smile that Seth had on his face. It's been seven years and I have never seen an ounce of James in him until that moment this morning. I hope more than anything it is a one-time deal, something in my gut tells tonight is not going to go well at all. The day seems to drag on and I have no time for stupidity today.
At lunch with Jas I am so distracted because of the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I stayed quiet not ready to lose it to a stranger. Poor guy probably thinks it's his fault. I will have to fix this later right now I need to focus on my other issues first. Yes, you can mark this as the worst date in history.
Finally my day ends and I head to the school, now when you have had a hard day and dealt with a lot dumb asses the last thing you want to do is deal with the epitome of stupidity. So when Jess came up to me once again squealing I held nothing back.
"Jess really are you stuck in high school…I hated your squealing then and I sure do hate it now!"
"Holy cow Bella rude much?"
"No Jess being rude would be like, I know how you have mutable 'friends'" I used air quotes for friends, "And I highly doubt that that baby that in you is even Mike's. So please take your holier-than-thou attitude somewhere else because I am just too busy for this shit." I leave Jess's jaw frozen and open and go to get my kids. Billy is his usual happy self, but Seth looks almost creepy. It's like you can see James seeping out of him, and it turns my stomach.
"How was school today?"
"Good, we sang a new song today."
"Wow I can't wait to hear it sweetie. Seth how was your day?"
"Eeeah, my teacher wants to talk to you."
"Now?"
"Yep."
"Would you like to tell me what it's about?"
"Why don't you just talk to her and find out?" My oldest is getting more and more defiant by the day, this is worrying me.
"Okay, well let's go then."
I walk in and his teacher is at his desk. "Hello?" he looks at me. "I'm Bella, Seth's mother; he said you wanted to speak to me."
"Yes, Mrs. Black, how are you, I'm Mr. Nelson but you can call me John?"
"It's nice to meet you, John, so what seems to be the problem? And please call me Bella."
"Alright Bella, well it seems Seth is having trouble with a young lady in our class. It seems she is upsetting him, and rather than come and get an adult, he threw her against the wall forcefully, and held her there until another teacher pulled him off of her."
Oh no! This can't be happening! No no no. What am I going to do?
"I am terribly sorry; I have always told him to get an adult for issues out of his control. I don't know what to say." I look over at my son and let the disappointment pour out of my eyes as they tear up; it seems to have no effect on him.
"Well when I spoke to him he said he felt he had it under control."
I couldn't hide the gasp that escapes. "I will deal with this, I assure you. If it happens again please call me on the spot."
"I assure you I will, this just happened so I figured I would wait to speak to you, however I am sorry to say he will not be able to come back the rest of the week."
"I understand, thank you for bringing this to my attention, please understand he is trying to work through a lot and acting out seems to be his coping mechanism. It's no excuse I know but I'm just trying to tell you he is a confused little boy."
"Well not to overstep but I think you may want to get him some help for that temper of his."
Now I'm agitated. "I will handle it, thank you." I take both the boy's hands and I walk out with them. On the way home I try to talk to Seth and all he does is shrug at me or act like I am not speaking at all. We pull up in front of my parent's house and there is Jake, honestly I feel a little better having him here. I open the doors to let the boys out and Seth pushes past me swiping me with his bag, I look over at Jake who is about to say something and hold up my hand to stop him. Billy inadvertently is my ally, excitedly rushing to greet his father. I turn and walk in the house. I go in and there is no Seth, my mother informs me he is in his room. I take a deep breath and blow it out and ask everyone to the living room, and holler for Seth to come too. He shows up only after my dad calls him. Now I know parents are supposed to help you but when it comes to dealing with your own children how does that work? I brush it off and get started. Jake hangs his head to listen. I just stay standing this is too much for me to sit down.
"Okay so I know there is a lot of confusion right now about what is going on and I want to clear the air. Seth I know you have a lot of questions I would love to answer them, would you like to ask them?"
He looks at me with so much anger in his eyes. "Yeah. I want to know are you having a baby, and lie to me." This get Jake's attention, I swear how he did not get whiplash from jerking his head to look at me I will never know.
"No Seth I am not having a baby. I swear." Jake relaxes tremendously.
"Then why are you seeing a doctor so much?" Again Jake jerks his head to me.
I swear if you keep that up you are going to break your neck.
"I have…I have been going to see a therapist and we have decided that maybe I should start to go out and be around people, again."
"Why, you can't stay with a man…They will never be good enough." He sneers at me.
"Seth, that's enough, you don't say things like that to your mother." Jake rushes to my aid.
"What, you saying you weren't good enough for her, Jacob?"
"Seth." I breathe out in shock. "Come here right now." I point to the floor in front of me. He stays where he is at.
"Seth, now!" My dad's holler must have scared him because he gets right up and walks over to me, staring me down just the way James used to.
How is this man coming out in my child now, after all these years? How do I stop it? What am I going to do? My mind is in a whirlwind and I just can't stop it, I am consumed by fear and failure. My mother starts to get up to come to my aid I hold my hand up; I need Seth to see I can do this… alone.
"Seth, baby, you can't talk to people like that. It's rude. Do you understand?" I keep my voice low and sweet as I kneel down resting on my toes keeping my knees off the floor. I understand he is lost right now, and I need him to understand that I am here for him.
"I get it, I get it all. It's all your fault you just can't let me have anything. Now you want to go find me a new daddy and I don't want it. I don't want nothing from you. I hate you." Now the words alone would have been enough to knock the wind out of me, but as I register what he has just said I feel him shove me backwards into the wall, and then to add insult to injury he slaps me. Before I could respond to anything I have my mother and Jake at my side to make sure I am okay. My father is rushing to my son no doubt to punish him. I see the anger in his eyes and Seth isn't much better. My father being the police chief is a firm believer in not hitting women and he just watched his Grandson slap his daughter.
Bell move your ass, you need to interfere NOW!
Now you know when you have something extremely shocking happen - one of two things happens, time either speed up or slows way down. Well mine sped up and I have little to no time to react so I did the first thing I could do… I crawled between my father and my son.
"STOP!" I am not afraid of my father hurting my son, but I need both of them, all of them to know I have to handle this. I take a minute to compose myself.
Alright James you son of a bitch I will not let you ruin my child, it may be your blood in his veins but my love will trump you, I will save him. Yes I cursed this man and the genes that where passed down to my child. I've always said I am crazy so would you really expect anything else?
I turn around, learning from my previous mistakes I stay on my knees to be eye-level with him. "Seth, I will not allow you to hit or shove me. Now I love you but because you felt you needed to be violent with me I think you don't need any TV, for two weeks." Oh boy am I ever glutton for punishment, I see his fists clench and before I can guard myself I feel my sons tiny fist connect with my cheek. For a seven year old he sure can pack a wallop. My eyes instantly water and I look right into my sons eyes. My heart just shatters; all I can do is wrap my arms around him and hug him. I just want him to feel the love and they say children are sensitive to touch, now that did not go like planned. He grabs a hand full of hair a rips my head back, knocking me off balance and I fall to the floor. The anger there is indescribable. I just lay there for a minute; to say I am in shock is an absolute understatement. Now I just sit there and cry, I am so lost… I will not strike my child in any way. My mother rushes to me. Now I hear Billy crying I look over and see my youngest son just distraught. I motion to Jake to get to Billy. He rushes to his side and starts to sooth him. My father looks at me. I nod my head admitting defeat and allowing him to assist me. He picks up a very angry Seth and leaves the room without saying a word. That old saying it takes a village to raise a child has never meant so much to me at this point.
"Jake will you take Billy home with you tonight and be sure he gets to school in the morning?"
"Bella I..."
"No mommy I need you." My son sobs out to me. In an uncontrolled reaction I rush to him pick him up and console him
"Shhh, your fine, mamas here. It's okay." I rock him and my mother goes to the kitchen. Jake and I sit on the couch with Billy, calming him together. My mother returns with tea.
Oh bless you mama.
She looks at me and smiles with a nod; she knows what I am thinking.
Mmmm, chamomile tea.
After a short while Billy falls asleep and Jake puts him to bed. When he comes back down my father is with him.
"Bella you may be my daughter and I love you to death, but why in the hell do you have to be so fucking stupid?"
"Daddy I needed to try."
"Try what…To push the kid to his breaking point?"
"Charlie," my mother breaks in "had you jumped in, in the beginning, Seth would be harder on Bella. Bella took all he gave her to show her love, and to show him no matter what he does she will always take more because she loves him that much. Had she allowed you to step in from the start, Seth would have been taught he can do whatever he wants and Bella is nothing to him?"
"But he can see her has a punching bag now. Now you know I don't usually condone spankings but damn it that kid needed one." My dad points to the stairs.
"Dad you didn't!"
"No Bella, but I did tell him I thought he needed one and had he been my son he would have gotten such from me."
"Daddy…"
"No Bella, I will not allow him to do that and by sitting there and taking that, that's exactly what you did."
"Charlie, Bella handled it the way she saw fit, she allowed Seth to see her hurt and broken at his hand. I have a feeling that is something that will haunt him for a while as will what he has said tonight to both Bella and Jacob tonight and seeing his brother so distraught."
"Bella I will not watch that again, next time I will not do as you say I will step in sooner."
"Daddy…"
"Charlie you will nothing of the sort, one day Bella will be on her own again and she will have no one to rescue her. She needs to learn to do this on her own." She turns to me. "How in the world did you not cower to James when he did it?"
"What James did this stuff to you too?"
Crap thanks mama.
"Daddy…"
"Yes he did, why do you think she always had headaches?" Jake put in his two cents; I could choke him for that.
"Okay everyone stop and listen to me." I look at my parents. "Yes daddy James was difficult to deal with, but I did. Mama, it's harder coming from Seth because he is my son, and I love him with all my heart. Not to mention the change that's in him happened so quickly I was taken aback by it. I will get control of it but this is where I do need you to teach me to do that. I can't spank him as you say daddy I don't have it in me. Please help me find another way." I look back to Jake. "And you loud mouth and my mother need to stop throwing me to the dogs."
"Bells, I…"
"No you stop it all of you will listen to me now they are my boys!" Jake clears his throat. "Zip it you know what I mean. Look clearly I have a child that needs help and I think I will listen to John and seek professional help for him too. Clearly this is beyond me at this point. Now I am tired please excuse me I am going to bed." I kiss my parents good night and tell Jake I'll talk to him soon, then go to my room and call Alice.
I talk to her for about an hour unloading everything about everything and by the time we say good bye I am so mentally and emotionally spent, I go to sleep quickly. I'm not asleep for long and I am woken up by Billy screaming for me. I should have known tonight would have been traumatic on him. I rush to his room, not before he wakes the whole house up. I assure my mother everything is okay, and turn to leave.
"Mama, why is Billy so upset?" I turn around and go sit, with Billy, on the edge of Seth's bed.
"Billy would you like to tell your brother why you are so sad?" I look at him, I know what the problem is but I want to let Billy have his voice.
"Seth scared me when he hurt mama, I don't want him to be mad at me."
I look at Seth. "Does that answer your question?"
He looks down at his covers and nods. "I'm sorry I scared you Billy."
Billy just curls up into me.
"Get some sleep Seth; we will discuss it more later." I take Billy to my bed with me and cuddle him into me. He is asleep fast, and his low even breathing lulls me back to sleep. Until the alarm goes off way to soon, starting another day leading to who knows what.
I know this chapter was rough please don't hold it against me, things will start to look better from here for little Seth I swear. Review with your thoughts but please don't yell at me too bad.