A/N: A couple of months ago, I was watching Futurama, and they had this episode about Leela's singing boil, which was named Susan. I just now got the joke. It inspired me to write this.
It was a few days after Ebisu rejected Naruto when the jonin finally realized the possible perks of having an all-powerful fox spirit as a student. Thoughts of power, riches, grandeur, and ladies swirled around in his head for days. Naruto's a pretty dumb kid, he reasoned. He'd listen to anyone who bothers to tell him what to do.
Ebisu knew what to do.
"Hey, Naruto~!" Ebisu sang as he gave Naruto a hearty slap on the back that sent the boy flying face down into the pavement. "I've decided to do you a favor and be your teacher~!"
Picking himself up off of the sidewalk, Naruto glared at him. "You turd. I don't need you to become Hokage!" His eyes misted up as he continued to talk. "I've already found the best teacher ever."
"Oh, really?" Ebisu scowled. "And who would this... best teacher ever be?"
"Jiraiya!" Naruto sighed dreamily. "He's letting me be his lackey!"
Ebisu sighed, shaking his head. "Don't you know what a lackey is, Naruto?" He continued. "It means you have to do whatever he tells you to do. You'd be his ass-kisser. A mere servant. A second-class citizen. Just a drudge. You'd be better off working at McDonalds."
"But...b-but..." Naruto's innocent eyes blinked back tears. "I thought.. I thought that-"
"There, there," Ebisu handed Naruto a frilly handkerchief. "Tell you what: If you become my student, I'll let you be my underling, how does that sound?"
Naruto's tears and snot instantly vanished. "I get to be an underling?" He jumped up and beamed at Ebisu. "A promotion? You won't regret this, Ebisu-sensei!"