Well this took about ten times longer than I wanted it to. This chapter particularly boring (in my honest opinion) but I cut off some things I was originally going to add simply to put this up sooner. The next chapter will hopefully be more exciting and be up sooner, however right now I am the midst of some con prep so I am short on extra time.
In days that followed, Lilly, though she saw Boromir several times, had no chance to speak with him. She was thankful that preparing for the departure of the Fellowship would keep them both busy for a time as she did not know what she could say to him. It was unsettling to her to be aware of the time and place of his death and yet to also be prevented from warning him of his approaching doom.
Lilly was beginning to feel stuck in her obligations and found that though Gandalf was very old and knew more than any person should ever feel comfortable in knowing, his cryptic way of speaking made him horrible at giving her advice.
"I still don't understand how you expect me to be of any help." Lilly had been fighting the same battle with Gandalf for days and as they sat on a stone bench in Rivendell she felt as if she was finally wearing him down. Though being a part of the Fellowship seemed fine in theory, Lilly felt averse to spending a two month long hiking trip with nine males.
"If I know the future, but I'm not supposed to interfere, won't I just be in the way?" Gandalf stirred beside her at the inquiry and replied very matter-of-factly, "I did not mean you were not to interfere, I merely meant to say you should only step in when you feel compelled to."
Lilly let out a long, exasperated breath and ran a hand through her long dark hair. What does 'being compelled feel like? Gandalf rifled in his sleeves and pulled out his pipe. "Did you intend to speak out during the Council meeting?" He asked offhandedly as he filled and lit his pipe. "By the look on your face I would say that no, you did not." He continued before Lilly had a chance to respond.
"It is an old magic that brought you here, far older and greater than any power I possess. For someone to go through all that trouble to have brought you to another world, you do not think that would help you along the way?" Gandalf spoke softly and but determinedly and in his conviction Lilly knew the truth.
She had told no one of the voice in her head that forced to speak at the council meeting nor did she ever want to think of someone else entering her mind. How intrusive it had been aside, Lilly had come to the realisation it was probably a good thing she had been the one to counter Boromir as she had seen a potential friendship between Aragorn and him begin that should not be for some time. That change, however, she felt was very welcome.
The smoke from Gandalf's pipe curled in the air as Lilly sat, pensive. Though it caught in her lungs as tobacco smoke always had, it reminded her of home and the family she had left behind. The warm memory of her family was marred with her intense homesickness and another thought that refused to bury itself.
Anxiously, Lilly sat and began picking at a stray thread off of her light green dress. The dress, as well as most of her clothing, was a hand-me-down of sorts from Arwen and several other Elf maids who took pity on the poor mortal that had arrived in Rivendell with only two sets of clothing. Her regular clothing, though Elf maids wore pants while training and the like, was a bit too scandalous even for the Elves. The blue dress she had worked so hard on a lifetime ago was nothing compared to the gorgeously decorated gowns of the Elves and so it sat in a chest in her room that also contained her duffle bag with all her other artifacts from another life.
I am woman out of time, she thought as she kicked her legs in the flowery, light gown and wished for blue jeans and a sweatshirt in its place. Mom will have set the Christmas decorations out already and made Dad turn on the lights…Christmas starts when Halloween ends she'd say. Lilly reminisced about her family with a troubling thought on the forefront of her mind.
"Gandalf," The old man was brought out of his own reverie. "When all is said and done and the Ring is destroyed…will I be able to go home?" The question hung dead in the air as Gandalf puffed thoughtfully on his pipe and Lilly began to think he was never going to respond. Her anxiety took a tight hold on her heart and Lilly rose abruptly, trying very hard not to run to her rooms and sob.
She offered no reason for leaving and made to walk away from the wizard. "Even I cannot say what will happen at the end of things." The response made Lilly pause and she felt her eyes stinging. Knowing she would not be able to speak without crying, she continued walking.
Lilly made for her chambers, dabbing her eyes with her sleeve to keep from bawling. I hope you aren't missing me as much as I'm missing you, mom. Thoughts of her family flooded her mind and she did not notice Boromir approaching until he called to her.
"My lady...Lilly, are you alright?" Embarrassed, Lilly tried to wipe her tears and sniffed as Boromir stopped in front of her and gently grabbed her arm. "Has something happened?" His genuine concern made Lilly want to tear up more and she shook her head.
She wiped the lingering tears from her eyes, "I'm just missing my family." She feigned a smile. "Just some passing emotions really. I'm already feeling better." He smiled at her in return but she could tell he did not fully believe her.
"Then would you be willing to accompany me to dinner this evening?" He offered her his arm like he down several times before and she accepted, truly not wanting to be alone again.
"Has this been the longest time you have spent away from your family?" Boromir's question startled Lilly and she took a moment before responding. "How did you know?" Christ on a bike, have I been acting like a homesick little kid this entire time?
"I could see from the moment you told me about your brothers that something was amiss and when you said that you had spent so long in Rivendell..."
"And you put two and two together." Lilly interjected. They drew nearer to the Hall of Fire where larger meals took place and Lilly began to realise what implications may arise due to her arriving on Boromir's arm. Her rising anxiety, however, was quelled by Boromir's stoic but warm presence beside her.
The Hall was neither as crowded nor as lively as it had been the day of the Council meeting. The Elves and Men mingled freely, eating and conversing with one another. Boromir led Lilly to sit at a table where sat Elves she knew and Men she recognise from the Council meeting.
It was unnerving for Lilly to sit with a group of older men who seemed all to be very powerful lords. She was lost in their conversations of their home countries that seemed to border on being political arguments. The Elves as well were adding to the discussion and her inability to say anything relevant made her feel more like a decoration than a person.
Lilly sat uncomfortably between an Elf and Boromir, who, it seemed to her, had completely forgotten her existence as soon as they had sat down. She sipped her wine and picked at the food before her, salad and a thin broth, while feeling incredibly ignored.
Very few words were spoken to her other than those that etiquette required until later in the evening when one of the older men tried to start a conversation with her.
"You, girl…" His words were slurred and his eyes were glazed over from drinking. "Where did you say you hailed from? You have the look of the Haradrim."
The inquiry drew Boromir's attention though he did not say anything. "I never said to anyone where I was from." Lilly shifted uncomfortably in her chair as the man's beady eyes prompted her for more. "North, very far to the North."
The answer did not seem to satisfy the man but, as he was about to further his drunken questioning he was clapped on the shoulder by an Elf who asked his opinion on the topic being discussed, "After all," He looked toward Lilly and gave her a mischievous wink, "I am certain our lady will soon be leaving as the hour draws late."
Taking her cue to leave, Lilly drained the rest of her wine glass and excused herself from the table. It was not until she had exited the Hall that she heard Boromir call to her. "Wait, my lady!" She paused in her walking to allow him to catch up with her. "It would not be polite of me to escort you here but then let you leave alone."
Rather than telling him her true feeling of wanting to be left alone, Lilly silently accepted him to walk beside her. "I know the dinner conversation was not very interesting, my lady." He said in an apologetic tone as they walked the now familiar path toward Lilly's chamber.
"Oh no, politics are my absolute favourite thing to talk about over a meal. Always so riveting." Her heavy sarcasm was not lost Boromir who chuckled lightly and smiled at her. "I am afraid that I will miss our conversations when I depart." The offhanded statement, though sincere in its innocence, worried Lilly.
"About…about that actually…" The immediate look of confusion that passed over Boromir's face it hard for Lilly to continue. She chewed her lip in thought for a moment before continuing. "Gandalf has decided that the Fellowship needs guidance…and who better to do that than someone who knows the future?"
It did not take long for him to figure out what she had been trying to tell him. "You? Gandalf means for you to join us?" His incredulous tone and angry demeanor made Lilly wince. "We go to the Elves for guidance and their answer is to put the weapon of the Enemy in the hands of a Hobbit and send a woman into Mordor."
"It isn't exactly like I want to do this!" Lilly raised her voice to mimic Boromir's own angry tone.
"Then stay here!" He rubbed his hand over his mouth. "Oracle or not, we do not need a woman along with four Hobbits to weigh us down."
"Weigh you down?" Lilly tried to restrain her anger and hoped that their raised voices had not attracted anyone's attention and that the corridor remained vacant. "I am not some castle-raised princess that can't lift a sword let alone use one! I know how to take care of myself!"
Boromir stepped toward her and grabbed her arm. His face was close enough to Lilly's that she could see the fire in his eyes and she tried to match his look with a hateful glare of her own.
"Have you ever faced an orc in battle? Or watch as your friends are slaughtered and dismembered by one of those foul creatures?" His eyes searched hers with an intensity that made Lilly look down. "I know you haven't, you told me so yourself. They kill all with ease." He started in a harsh whisper that turned into a pleading murmur. "Do not throw away your safety here away so easily."
"I know the risks just as well as anyone," Lilly pulled away from him and raised her head to look him in the eye. "And I will not have you telling me to stay behind simply because I am a woman."
As she walked away, Lilly hoped it would be the last time she would have to deal with the repetitive arguments that seemed to plague any interaction she had with Boromir.
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