A/N: This one is if the season was a few minutes longer.

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Take 28: Paperwork

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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"This is great."

"I told ya!"

"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."

"Yes, well, let's not dwell."

"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"

"Close enough."

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"Daniel! Come over here!"

"Yes, Jack?"

"Carter and I were talking about something with which we need your experience and expertise."

"I haven't fished before. I thought you're the expert."

"No this is about marriage."

"Marriage? You've been married, Jack. You were married longer than I was."

"No, this is about off-world marriages."

"Oh?"

"I know you considered Sha're your wife. Did the government?"

"You mean our government?"

"Yes, the State of Colorado and the United States of America—the government. Did they ever recognize your marriage?"

"Officially, no."

"Oh, I guess that doesn't help us, then."

"Help, how?"

"Daniel, the General and I were discussing the legality of off-world marriages. Now I know Sha're is difficult to talk about-"

"It's ok, Sam. That was years ago."

"I assume you had researched a plan for what to do if Sha're was saved."

"Yes. General Hammond approved it. The plan was to grant her refugee status. I had all of the paperwork ready to file. Although she would have the naquada sensing and device controlling skills that you and Cassie both have, she would not have a symbiote. So, she would have been allowed outside the mountain, once she had been acclimated to Earth's culture. I also figured we would be spending part of the year on Abydos."

"What about your marriage?"

"Once she was established as a legal refugee, our marriage could be recognized. We just needed a marriage certificate, which would be a problem. Abydos did not have marriage certificates and is not on the list of countries for which the USA will legally recognize marriages."

"So what was your plan?"

"We would simply apply for a new marriage certificate. Colorado is a no waiting period/no blood test state, so it would not have been much of a problem."

"The certificate would be dated from the original marriage or the 'new' marriage?"

"With an affidavit that we were officially married 'out of the country', we could even get the marriage certificate dated for during the original Abydos mission. It would have been even easier in a common law marriage state."

"An affidavit to pre-date the certificate? That's it?"

"I figured it didn't really matter in our case, but yes, that's it."

"In this case, Daniel, it's important. See, Jack. I told you it would be easy."

"Guys, what is this about? Is someone getting married to someone off-world? Is one of you getting married off-world? Sam, I thought you just broke up with Pete. And you, Jack, haven't been off-world in a while-"

"Daniel, this marriage, or should I say these marriages happened a while ago."

"Who at the SGC got married off-world? Wait a second... You two have been married off world!"

"Yes, Daniel. According to your mission reports, Jack and I have been married nine times. Although we can probably only count four. Two of them required consummation that evening, one required an offspring within a year, one required a dowry of something like a goat-"

"Which Jacob never provided."

"-and the one on P5X-987 required us to attend the annual renewal ceremony, which we've missed the last few years."

"Sam and I are working on our commitment issues."

"You guys are serious? You're actually going to try to get one of your off-world marriages recognized?"

"That's the plan."

"What about the Air Force, Jack?"

"The frat regs aren't as strict for couples that are already married, which is why the date is important."

"But you weren't married before. Won't you get in trouble for getting married?"

"Most our marriages were accidents, because we didn't understand the culture at the time, or were for protection in strict patriarchal or matriarchal societies. The Air Force doesn't punish protecting one's teammates in the field. The accidental marriages were not due to our negligence. If anything, they were due yours."

"Mine!"

"Don't worry about it, Danny. The accidents were all nullified or were after the first marriage that counted."

"Which one was the first marriage?"

"Well..."

"According to your reports, P2X-412-one of those matriarchal societies. You and Teal'c were safe because you were already married. At the bonding ceremony, Jack became my bound mating companion, which on P2X-412 is what they call the husband."

"Quit it Sam. We agreed you are not allowed to call me that."

"Yes, Dear."

"So you guys are really doing this?"

"Absolutely, in fact we are going to the El Paso County building tomorrow."

"Jack, that's in Colorado!"

"It turns out Minnesota has a five day waiting period, and we're done waiting. No waiting in Colorado."

"You'll have to leave in a few hours to get there, and we just got here."

"We're not driving. The Prometheus is beaming us there and back."

"You're using the Air Force for transport, just so you can get married?"

"We're already married, Daniel. Try to keep up. We're stopping by the SGC for a few minutes. Walter discovered I forgot to sign some napkin requisition form or something."

"And someone bumped Silar and his ladder into a secure storage door which required my thumb print to open. I told Coones I'd stop by first thing tomorrow. So from the sounds of it, all we need to do is explain we were married out of the country seven years ago, but never filed the domestic paperwork. We need it now for life insurance and military benefits purposes. The lack of foreign paperwork can be explained by the actual fact that the people were so isolated that they did not have a written language. All of which is true. I'll grab that bonding spear from storage as proof of the ceremony. "

"The conversation with the marriage registrar is something I would like to see."

"Of course! We need you and Teal'c to sign as witnesses because you were at the original ceremony. I think Teal'c's tattoo might help sell the story."

"Sounds fun, Jack. How are you justifying Teal'c and me on the transport?"

"Teal'c is sending a quick message to Dakara. I don't know what. He can say 'hi' to Bra'tac for all I care."

"And me?"

"You're a free-loader who doesn't want to stay around the bears by himself."

"Jack!"

"Daniel, no one will care. Most people have learned not to ask because you'd talk their ear off with your answer."

"Oh. Ok. Do you mind me asking, why haven't you two done this before?"

"Ask Sam. It's her plan. I would have done it years ago, but I'm not brainy enough to devise it."

"Sam?"

"Jonas noticed the number of marriages when going through your old SG-1 reports. I didn't know about most of them. I never made the connection to an official Earth marriage, until a couple months ago, when I noticed Sha're picture on your desk. At that time-"

"You were engaged to Pete."

"Right. However now that-"

"Train wreck has been avoided. Oww! Hey! Just because I'm your bound mating companion does not mean you get to poke me in the gut. I've already admitted to you that the almost train wreck was my fault, too."

"Ok, as cute as I find this repartee, I think that is my cue to go. For the record, guys, I think this is great. I'm sure Teal'c will too. He kept asking me why Jack wouldn't call out Pete for a fight to the death. Now I think that is because he already considered you two married. I suppose it's time for the State of Colorado and the Air Force to agree with Teal'c."

"He's very wise. We're going first thing tomorrow, and we'll take ya out for lunch afterwards."

"Thanks, Jack. I think Teal'c and I should just stay in Colorado. Give you a real honeymoon."

"Good idea." "Thanks, Daniel."