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Take 29: Pet names

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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"This is great."

"I told ya!"

"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."

"Yes, well, let's not dwell."

"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"

"Close enough."

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"So what's wrong with Sammie?"

"Nothing, Jackie."

"Ok, not Sammie. How about Samantha?"

"No problem, Jonathan."

"Understood, Sweetheart?"

"No"

"Sweetie?"

"That's worse."

"Honey?"

"Nope. Not Hon' either."

"Darling?"

"Is this the 1800s, in the South?"

"Dear?"

"As in road kill or 'Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn?"

"Angel?"

"I haven't ascended."

"I know you wouldn't like Babe or Baby."

"Of course not."

"My other half."

"Sounds flippant. I know, you like flippant. But as a name it's not a way to stay on my good side.

"Then how about Beautiful?"

"I appreciate the compliment, but that's not a name."

"Gorgeous?"

"Same thing. That's why I'm not calling you Handsome, either. It's a compliment, not a name."

"I guess I understand. That's why I'm not calling you My Treasure. It's what you are: a National Treasure."

"Thank you."

"So how about somthing like...Hot mama?"

"Do you want to keep your-"

"Ok, Smoochie?"

"I see you don't want to-"

"Just kidding, I'm not serious about snookums either, Princess."

"No Star Wars names. Why do you think I ruled out Sweetheart?"

"Thera?"

"Part of me really likes Jonah and Thera, but it's a little weird, too. Also, its really close to 'Jonas.' It took me a while to get used to Jonas Quinn without thinking of that other one."

"I understand. And Thera doesn't work, I should say the name Thera doesn't work without Jonah. I know...My Love?"

"I also like that, but that seems like something better for special occasions."

"Even if it is always true?"

"Try something else."

"My World?"

"Sounds like you are calling me as big as the world. Not very complimentary. Plus to someone who goes off-world-"

"My Universe? Nevermind. Sounds pretentious. Pumpkin?

"No, my dad called my mom that."

"Muffin?"

"Sure, Stud Muffin."

"Sugar-"

"Nothing that sounds edible."

"But you are."

"After that comment, I know I couldn't handle a food nickname in mixed company."

"Kitten?"

"So now I'm an animal?"

"Sometimes-"

"No to Kitten."

"Sunshine? With your hair-"

"That's not bad, except I blew up a Sun."

"Right. And you won't call me Stud or Hunk?"

"Not with a straight face. You didn't want My Hero."

"We can't call each other the same thing. So, I'm out of ideas."

"I appreciate you leaving out the scientist, geek, and nerd names."

"I know better."

"Then you should know what I want."

"Sam, if we use those names, I'll never be able to think clearly on base."

"We're going to have different postings anyway."

"When I come for inspections... I don't think I could handle it."

"Please, Jack. We both know is not the actual words. It's always been how we sometimes say the words."

"You're right. Ok, you win."

"Like there was any doubt. So at work its General and Colonel or sir and Carter. At home its Jack and Sam or Sir and Carter."

"I still can't believe you want our pet names to be 'Sir' and 'Carter'. It puts a whole new spin on the last eight years."

"Why else would I want to use those names?"

"I'm starting to see that sometimes you're a little evil, Carter."

"Yes I am, Sir."