A/N Stephanie Meyers owns all. Luck Biatch

Thanks to those who reviewed and added to favs and alerts. I warms my heart and feeds my perverted mind to write.

I want to give a special thanks to Nolebucgrl. She's one of my fav authors. She gave me inspiration to finally write my own FFn story, and gave me great advice as well. If you're looking for awesome stories to read, check her out. She's on my favs list. She rocks hard core!

I hope you all enjoyed the last chap and had as much fun reading it as I had writing it. After my Best Friend read this, her and I were talking about how we wished our Bachelorette parties were better and demand a redo lol! My stripper had a uni-brow and should have not been wearing a thong with his hairy but to match his bushy eyebrows. And hers came dresses as a construction worker, looking like he was found outside Home Depot. He had saggy white boxers on that looked like he had been picking his butt all night. And he smelled bad. Yeah, we asked him to leave before he even started.

So this chapter is not as happy and funny as the last. Sadly Edward has a promise to break or I wouldn't have a story to write.

Please review. Give me a smiley face (or a sad face if you don't approve)

Edwards inner struggling thoughts are in italics

Broken Promises

Ch 3

EPOV

When I thought about a perfect place to take Bella for our first night together as husband and wife, our meadow came into mind. But then I realized that we needed to break out of our little bubble and create more memories together. There's just so much I want to show and share with her.

The meadow is our favorite place to go, but not my only. I've come across many beautiful places in this area while hunting. The specific place I was taking Bella to now was perfect for our evening together. I knew she would appreciate the effort I'd put forth into giving us a small little paradise close to home.

As I drove away from Forks toward our destination, Bella rested her hand on my inner upper thigh. I sucked in a sharp breath in response to her bold move. I glanced at her and she had a sultry smile spread across her face. She had never touched me in such a way before.

''So do you wanna give me a hint about where we're going?'' she purred.

''No, I want to surprise you.''

''Can I ask questions? That is, will you answer them?'' She was being very coy. It was quiet cute.

''I suppose, granted it doesn't give to much information away.''

"That seems fair," she answered me and then put her finger to he chin to gesture that she was thinking as she bit her lower lip. I love it when she bites her lower lip. It's so shy and sexy at the same time.

"Are we going to a hotel?" she asked after a few moments.

"No. I wanted to do something more than just take you to a hotel. Where we're going is so much more special. Just like you are."

"Wow! Okay," she thought for another moment before her face lit up as if she had discovered something.

"The meadow! You're taking me to our meadow." I couldn't help but chuckle at how adorable she was being in all her excitement. I shook my head and looked over at her. I grabbed her hand off my lap and brought it to my lips and kissed it.

"No, not the meadow. But I did have it in mind at one point," Her smile turned to a frown, and it was the cutest thing ever.

"Don't worry Bella. Your gonna love where we're going. It's just as beautiful, and will be just as special as our meadow. Just relax and let me handle it, okay?"

She turned her frown into a tight smile and nodded. "Okay Edward. I trust you. You know that. I'm just so excited to have a chance to be alone with you finally. And then spending the night away from you last was absolutely agonizing. I never wanna have to spend another night away from you again. Of course after I'm changed you won't have to watch me sleep anymore. We can do other things together to fill our nights in bed. Some of which I was thinking about last night while trying to fall asleep without you." Bella returned her hand to my inner thigh and leaned in toward me so I could feel her warm breath in my ear. "Would you like me to tell you about some of those things?"

I swallowed hard. Things that I've only imagined doing to Bella flashed through my head. Things that would finally be possible once she becomes a vampire. Things that I have thought about on many occasions while taking care of myself before visiting Bella at night. I felt myself getting hard and straining against my trousers as I removed Bella's hand from my thigh before she noticed my excitement. I slowed the car down to pull over into a small area on the side of the road. Thank God because I didn't know how much more of Bella's sexual advances I could take. Tonight is definitely going to test my limits with her. I don't know how I'm going to be able to turn her down. I just know that I must, for her own safety.

"We're here. That is, we've gone as far as we can by car. I'll be carrying you the rest of the way if you don't mind. It's only a short distance."

She looked at me as if I were missing something. "Edward you do realize I'm wearing a dress. How am I gonna climb on your back for you to carry me?"

"My silly Bella. I'll carry you bridal style of course. Only seems fitting since you are my bride," I kissed the top of each of her hands and then placed a small chaste kiss on her lips.

"Okay," she replied and sighed. I could get her to agree to anything when I worked my charm, or 'dazzle' her as she would say. I'm hoping I can work my charm enough tonight to get her to agree to wait until after her change to make love. That is if she'll still want to be changed after I prove myself to be a bad husband by going back on my promise to her.

I got out of the car and went to her side of the door to open it. I extended my hand to her order to assist her as she climbed out of the car.

"Ready my love?"

"As I'll ever be," she responded and smiled.

I dipped down and swooped her up from under her knees in one swift move. She squeaked in delight and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I love you so much. How did I ever get so luck?" she asked, looking into my eyes.

"I could say the same thing love. Ready?"

Bella nodded, and I toke off running through the forest while carrying her in my arm. I continued running for a good 10 minutes and Bella rested her face in the crook of my neck. I could feel her warm breath against my skin. I took in her scent, and how warm and good she felt pressed up against my body. She seemed so relaxed in my arms and it made me smile to know that she feels safe with me as I run and weave around to dodge trees. It's so different from the first time I took her for a run on my back. I remember how tense and scared she was, and how she would close her eyes so tight because she was afraid I would run into something. The amount of trust she places in me is astounding. It saddens me a little to realize that I may lose some of that trust tonight. Trust that I can't keep my word or promises to her.

I slowed down and came to a stop as I approach our destination. I could hear the sound of the small river as the water drifted by against rocks, and over the small damn as it overflowed and continued to run free. The damn allowed a good size pool of water to gather and form a nice swimming hole. It would be a perfect spot to enjoy a swim with Bella on a warm day.

I placed Bella down and allowed her to take in her surroundings. Her eyes set upon the river. I had arranged rows of blue chiffon fabric to drape across the river from tree to tree. They alternated with rows of paper lanterns that were lit up and hanging from cables that I ran across as well. There were a dozen or so of tiki torches lit up to create a path from the edge of the river, up to the doorway of a huge, round, medieval style tent. The entrance to the tent was draped open and sheer fabric hung in front of it, allowing a view of twinkling lights that were hanging from the roof inside.

"Milady, your sleeping quarters await you," I said to her in a playful way as I bowed and gestured with my hands towards the entrance of the tent. Bella had her hands in front of her mouth in a surprised gesture and was shaking her head back and forth in disbelief.

"Wow Edward... This is just...wow," She was astonished, as I hoped she would be.

"From you reaction, I'm guessing you like?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

She turned back towards the river, looking up at the lanterns and fabric draped across, "Did Alice help you with this? Cuz this seems so Alice," She turned around to look at me. She had her arms wrapped around her self, rubbing them up and down to create friction in an attempt to keep warm.

"No love, this was all me. She tried to butt in, but I couldn't let her. I wanted this to come from just me. Now let's get you inside. The temperature is dropping out here. Plus I want you to see the inside,"

I picked her up swiftly and carried her to the entrance. "My beautiful bride, I must carry you through the threshold of our... Um... I don't know what you would call it, but I want to carry you inside,"

Bella giggled while shaking her head. "Just take me inside you silly man."

I parted the sheer fabric covering the entrance and carried her inside. I placed her down gently on her feet and allowed her to explorer the inside of the tent with her eyes. In the middle if the tent was the massive pole that was holding it up. I had deep blue fabric and twinkling lights wrapped around it. From the top center of the pole at the roof, strands of lights and the fabric fanned out and draped to the outside edges of the tent roof, illuminating the tent in soft, twinkling lights. "Wow, it's like the sky covered in stars," Bella exclaimed.

Her eyes darted from the ceiling, to what was in front of her. As she was standing on the inside entrance of the tent, across from her was a huge king size, wrought iron, canopy bed. It was situated against the backside wall of the tent. A curtain of sheer blue fabric hung around all four sides of the bed, and was gathered and tied at each post. The bed was dressed in blue silk sheets and adorned with a variety of blue and white silk pillows in various sizes. White rose petals arranged in the shape of a heart filled the center of the bed.

"That bed is amazing. I want that, the exact same way, wherever we live, so every night can be like our honeymoon night. Edward, this is incredible. As soon as I stepped into this tent, I felt like a harem of girls should have been waiting inside for some Sheik."

I laughed at Bella's reference. "No harem of girls could compare to you my love. Your beauty would make any Sheik forget about them." she blushed and I couldn't help but stroke her cheek with the back of my hand. I then took her face in my hands and gently kissed her lips. She sighed against my lips and then I stepped back so she could continue to check out my work. She fixated her eyes to an area against the wall to the left of the entrance where a small round table sat, and she began to walk towards it. It was draped in a blue table cloth, and a smaller white one on top of the other. In the center of the table was a blue vase filled with long stemmed white roses. Two small chairs covered in blue fabric as well, were placed on each side of the table. Bella brought her nose down to the roses so she could take in their scent. She the turned around and walked over to the other side of the tent. Directly across from the table, on the other side, was a long white chaise with small blue pillows thrown upon it. In front of the chaise were huge blue and white sitting pillow arranged on the floor to create a sitting area around a low, round, glass coffee table. In the center of the coffee table was an array of platters that contained fruits, crackers, cheese, and other small nibbles, along with a bottle of champagne, and a champagne flute.

"I'm assuming that's for me," she said as she took in the food. "Would you mind pouring me a glass? Every time I tried to take a sip of the champagne at the reception, my dad eyeballed me as if he was trying to silently remind me that I'm not of drinking age yet. It was annoying so I just gave up." she said with amusement.

"Of course," I replied and began to open the bottle. Meanwhile she continued to walk around and take in the rest of the details of my work.

Through out the tent were dozens of lit candles. They were either blue or white, pillars or tea lights, and placed in various heights and places. Some were on stand, others on the tables, or in holders handing from the ceiling.

She turned to me and said, "You may not be blood related to Esme or Alice, but you definitely somehow inherited their talent for making thing look so special. Edward I still cannot get over how you did this all on your own, and I'm so glad that you didn't take me to a cheesy hotel. It could never compare to this. If you put this much effort into making this special for me, then I can only imagine the effort I know your going to put into our marriage and our happy existence together." She threw her arms around my neck and peppered my face with kissed. I was stuck holding my arm out to the side, with a glass of champagne in one hand, and the champagne bottle in the other.

"I'm so glad I made you happy love. It's all I want to do for you. To make you happy that is, with everything that I do, for you."

Liar. I though to myself. If you wanted to make her so happy then you would keep good on your promise tonight. My thoughts were screaming out at me in my head as my conscience was trying to speak to me. How could I speak such lies to her, knowing that she will be disappointed some time eventually tonight? God I'm such a fool to think I could bring her out here and show her all of this. To get her hopes up as to me making love to her tonight. I should have stopped Alice before she whisked Bella away from me while we were under the gazebo.

You can still make this special for her Edward, I told myself. Do all the other romantic things you have planned. Why let it all go to waste. Maybe she'll be so exhausted and just want to rest. I've heard about that before. A bride and Groom so exhausted from their wedding day that they just end up falling asleep before they even get to make love. Yes, that's what I'll do. I'm sure I can come up with a variety of things to occupy time until she's ready to drop. Good pep talk to self. Now back to Bella.

"Edward? You okay? I kinda lost you for a second there."

I handed her the glass of champagne, and Bella guzzled it down. I then refilled her glass while I gestured her to sit down on the chaise. "I'm sorry love; I was just lost in thought. How bout a little cheese and crackers, or perhaps some grapes to go with you champagne? I could feed it to you?"

"I would love that. How bout some strawberries? I hear they go great with champagne," she said while raising her glass.

I sat down and patted the spot next to me so that she would join me on the chaise. As she sat down next to me, I grabbed her legs to place them upon my lap in order to prop her feet up and have her lay back sitting up. I then reached forward towards the platter of fruit and grabbed a strawberry. Bella licked her lips in anticipation. "Those strawberries look really good," she stated as I brought it closer to her lips. She gently took the strawberry into her mouth and bit off half. I was entranced by her lips as they were coated in juices. I licked my lips in response, as the red juices reminded me of blood. I began to imagine how erotic it would be to lick blood off of Bella's lips. I've fantasized before about hunting with Bella once she's a vampire. How sexy she would look feeding off of a dangerous animal. Blood dripping from her lips, traveling down her neck, and onto her chest. I pictured her dropping her kill, walking towards me while swinging her hips, and allowing me to take her in my arms and suck the blood from her lips, and follow its trail to down to her breast.

"With you feeding me, I feel like I'm the Sheik and you're my harem of Edwards'," Bella giggled, snapping me out of my fantasy.

"Silly girl. Perhaps we should do something else? I wouldn't want to get strawberry juices all over your pretty dress," I suggested. Perhaps feeding her was not as good an idea as I though it would be. It amazed me how something so simple as feeding food could be turned into something so erotic. I've heard about it, and seen it in people's heads before. It just never seemed appealing to me. I get it now. Then again, Bella could always do simple things without realizing how sexy she was being.

"That's really thoughtful of you. I actually had planned on changing into something more practical if you don't mind?"

"Of course I don't mind. I'll just step outside for a moment. I could use some air," I took Bella's legs off my lap and got up. I grabbed her hand and kissed it. "I'll be just right outside by the river. Just call for me when you're done." I walked out of the tent and took a deep breath. I stopped in front of the river, stared off into the water, and began to think.

I need a plan. A game plan. We could dance. That should be safe. Then what? I don't know what. Look at me. I'm pathetic. Any other man would be jumping out of their clothes and into bed with their new bride. But you're not a man Edward. You're a vampire. And you could seriously hurt her. Maybe even kill her. Just explain it to her. But I promised her I would try. This is me trying. The river, the tent, the lights and candles. This whole setup was intended to make it a romantic evening. To set the mood for our lovemaking. To make her first time, and mine special. I just can't go through with the lovemaking. Once she's changed, then I can do it. Hell, I'll change her tonight if she asks. No, that's not any good. What bride would wanna spend their honeymoon withering in pain? God this is so messed up. And since when did I start arguing with myself in my head. I just...

"Edward," Bella called out to me, and breaking me from my mind's inner struggle with the situation.

I walked back into the tent and Bella was standing next to the bed. Something more practical was an understatement. What Bella was wearing was far from practical. It was down right mind blowing. I stood at the entrance of the tent stuck in a stupor. I was speechless. Bella took my breath away the moment that I walked into the tent and laid my eyes upon her. Bella walking down the aisle towards me during our wedding ceremony could be described as something angels would be jealous of in all her beauty. This was down right sexy, and sultry. I couldn't movefrom where I was standing to make my way towards her.

She was wearing a deep blue, long, silk nightgown. She had one of the thin straps of her nightgown hanging off one of her shoulders. I wanted to kiss her exposed shoulder and fix the strap with my hand. I wanted my hand to continue down her shoulder and over the top swell of her breasts. The nightgown was cut into a low v at the front, and the silk material hugged her breast so tight that it caused her cleavage to spill over the top. I wanted to kiss, suck, and nip at it. I wanted to drag my tongue all over her exposed collar bone, and continue down to the front of her cleavage. It hugged her breast so tight and beautifully that I could see the outline of her nipples. I wanted to cup her breasts in my hands and run my thumbs over her hardened nipples. I wanted to drag the straps to her nightgown down her shoulders and stop below her breasts, leaving her nipples exposed to me so that I could take them into my mouth and swirl my tongue around them, and then suck and tug on them gently.

I shook my head to free myself from my breast educed trance, and took in the rest of Bella's appearance. I noticed the way her nightgown continued down from her breast and clung to her small waist. I could see where it hugged her abdominal muscles, and caved in a bit at her bellybutton. I suddenly found myself wanting to pull her nightgown down further past her breast to expose her tight little stomach to me. I wanted to kiss and nip all along her stomach until I came to the center of it; her cute little bellybutton. I wanted to swirl around it and dip my tongue into it. I wanted to feel her squirm against me as I did this to her. I continued to allow my eyes to roam further down. I noticed how her nightgown hugged the curve of her hips. I've never seen her hips look so sexy. Then I noticed the slit that traveled from the top of her right thigh, all the way down to the bottom of the nightgown. It was sexy as hell. I found myself imagining kissing Bella's leg; starting from the ankle and working my way up to the top of her thigh, and eventually following it to her hot, wet, center.

"EDWARD!"

"Huh?" I didn't even realize she was talking to me before.

"I said you should come on over here," she had her hand extended out for me to come to her and grab it.

"Bella," I breathed. "You look amazing,"

She blushed and looked down, "Thank you,"

I walked over to her and lifted her chin with my finger so I could look her in the eyes. "Please Bella; don't look down as if you're embarrassed. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You truly do look amazing. So amazing that you had me bewildered the minute I walked into the tent and set my eyes upon you,"

"Really?" she asked shyly.

"Absolutely," I answered her as I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head. That's when I noticed that her nightgown left her entire back exposed. From the outer sides of her nightgown, the material trailed down and barely covered the sides of her breasts. It then continued past the sides of her waist, and curved inwards until the material finally meet together at the top curve of her ass. My hands were met with the smooth creamy skin of her back. I allowed my hands to rub up and down, relishing in the silky feeling of her skin. Bella took this as a sexual advance and began kissing and sucking at my neck. By this time, my erection was so hard in my pants that I thought the zipper was going to burst open. Bella pulled her body closer up against mine and she moaned when she felt my erection poking at her stomach. I buried my head into her neck and felt her vain pulsing hard and fast as her heart rate picked up in her excitement. Venom began to pool in my mouth and I swallowed it back as I sucked in her blood's sweet scent. And then I smelled it. Her arousal. It began to permeate the air around us. I surprised myself when a growl escaped from me as the smell of her blood and the smell of her excitement hit me together at once. I slowed my breathing down and gently pushed Bella back slightly, but leaving our forehead touching.

"Bella, love, we need to slow down,"

"Why?"

Think fast Edward. "Because I still want to dance with my beautiful wife?" Why am I making it sound like a question?

"It's something I imagined doing with you here while I was setting up. I figured the twinkling lights on the roof above us would make it feel like was dancing under the stars. It's very romantic," phew, nice save.

I walked away from her for a second to turn on some music and Sweetest Dream by Aerosmith started to echo out of the speakers I had my iPod docked onto. The cute pout Bella had on her face as a result from out loss of contact quickly turned into a smile. I walked back over to her and wrapped my arms around her and she rested her head on my chest. We began to sway back and forth to the music as my hands slowly rubbed up and down Bella's bare back. I relished in the soft and silky feeling of her skin and how warm and soft she felt pressed up against my hard and unmolding body. I just couldn't believe that after today, this beautiful creature was finally mine to have, and to be able to share the rest of my eternity with. Our Eternity. So many nights that I laid in her bed watching her sleep, and how I wished it was my bed she rested in, without having to worry about what time she had to be home. I finally had her all to myself, and I didn't have to share her with anybody. Well maybe Alice occasionally or she'd surely have my head for being so greedy with Bella.

But would that all change after tonight? I had no idea how Bella was going to feel after I broke my promise to her. Surely her trust in me to keep my word to her would change. I have always promised her that I would give her anything she wanted. Would she still have faith in me? I let out a long sigh as a result of my disappointing thoughts. Bella stiffened slightly in my arms and looked up at me with her soulful eyes.

"What's wrong Edward?" Bella asked me. She was rubbing her hands up and down the front of my chest and it felt divine.

"Nothing love. I'm just thinking,"

"About?"

"About how I won't ever have to have you home by curfew ever again. About how when I lay next to you at night, it will be in our own bed instead of your tiny bed, and with Charlie snoring down the hall. About how I hope to make you as happy as you make me."

"That's really sweet. How is it that you always know what to say at the perfect moment?"

"I don't know. Perhaps you bring it out in me. I only want to be perfect for you, to make you happy."

Bella laughed. "See what I mean? Only you could say such sweet and perfect things. And this song, I can't imagine another more perfect song for this moment either."

I smiled down at her in agreement and began to sing along to the song as we continued swaying to the music.

"I don't wanna close my eyes,

I don't wanna fall asleep,

Cuz I miss you babe,

And I don't wanna miss a thing.

Even when I dream of you,

The sweetest dream will never do,

I still miss you babe,

And I don't wanna miss a thing."

"Are you sure you can't read my mind? Cuz that's exactly how I feel when I'm with you,"

"I only wish I could love. Your mind does intrigue me so. If I ever figure it out, it'll be like discovering the ninth wonder of the world."

Bella giggled and laid her head back upon my chest as the music began to finish its last repetitions of the chorus.

"Edward," Bella mumbles against my chest.

"Yes love?"

She looked up at me again, "Enough dancing, I can't imagine a more perfect moment than this." She stretched up onto her tippy toes and attacked my mouth with a renewed vigor and I stood there stunned, not knowing how to react.

Before Bella could notice my moment of hesitation, I began to kiss her back. I kissed her lovingly and gently in hopes of slowing down her eagerness. Perhaps if I tried and took it slowly, I could do this.

Bella dragged her hands up my chest and towards my shoulders so she could coax my jacket off. "Take off your jacket Edward," she whispered against my lips. She pushed my jacket off my shoulders and down my arms, and I let it fall to the floor. My hands began roaming down Bella's back, and soon found the arch of her ass. As my hands grazed over the material of her nightgown and over her luscious roundness, I reveled it silkiness and how delicate it felt against her skin. When I reached the bottom of her curves, I cupped her cheeks in my hands. I took all my willpower to not grab a fistful of her gown and rip it from her body. Instead I squeezed her ass gently and pushed her against my now growing erection. In response to my actions, Bella began kissing me more lustfully, and then she lifted her leg up and wrapped it around me, seeking friction and grinding herself against me.

As soon as she did this I found my self in a moment if lost restraint. I began nipping and sucking at her neck and along her collar bone. I could feel her carotid artery pulsating at my lips. She reached down to grab my growing erection, and she gasped when she felt how big and hard I had grown. This caused a surge of pleasure to shoot through me, and before I knew it, her scent penetrated the air of the tent more strongly than I had ever experienced. She must have experienced the same surge of pleasure. I pulled back to look at her pulsating vein and saw the purple marks I was leaving on her wherever I was sucking at her neck. Her vein throbbing beneath my lips, the increased scent of adrenaline in her blood, the feeling of her hand grasping at my aroused member, and the aroma of her lust was quickly becoming more than I could handle. I felt a growing rumble escape from my chest. Without warning and in my attempt to gain my control back, I pushed Bella into the bed away from me, and I flew out of the tent. I ran, and ran, and ran, until I felt like I could finally breathe in the fresh air of the surrounding forest.

I was still close enough that I could hear Bella.

She was crying.

I imagined her lying on the bed face down and crying into a pillow. Every sob that wracked from her was like a stab to my heart.

I hurt her.

I was so afraid of hurting her physically and instead I've hurt her emotionally. Even when I try to do right, I still do wrong.

What kind of a husband makes his wife cry on their wedding night? A terrible husband, that's who, Me.

I could hear Bella's phone ringing and I already knew who it was. Everyone knows Bella and I are together on our wedding night and would not dare call to interrupt. Only one person would know something was wrong.

Alice.

The phone just rang and rang and it was obvious that Bella had no intentions of answering.

I could hear her crying still and the phone began ringing again. Alice was not going to give up until she answered. Bella answered.

''Alice,'' Bella sobbed into the phone.

''Bella! Bella calm down and tell me what happened.''

''He doesn't want me Alice. He doesn't want me. Not like that; he doesn't. I'm so stupid.''

No Bella I'm the one who's stupid. I'm such a bad husband.

''No your not Bella. Edward loves you. Of course he wants you,''

''I'm sure he loves me Alice. He wouldn't have married me if he didn't. I know that. It's just not that kinda love. I don't know why I didn't realize it before. People love their pets, and their best friends. Like I love Jake and my father and the rest of the Cullen family. It's a different love. I would never want to lose anyone I love,''

''That's nonsense Bella,''

That's just rubbish. How could she think that I love her like a pet? People don't marry their pets. Because I rejected her and now she thinks I don't desire for her love in that way. That's how you fool.

''Really Alice? Cuz right now it's making perfect sense to me.''

''Look Bella. You know Edward. He over thinks everything to much and he's just probably psyched himself out. Believe me when I say that I know my brother wants you as much as you want him. If you ever caught sounds of Edward in the shower like I have then you'd know what I mean.''

Okay this conversation is getting a little too personal on my behalf. Perhaps that's what I get for eavesdropping. Thanks Alice.

''Alice I still don't know what you mean, but whatever you say. I'm just really tired and it's been a long day. I'm sure he'll be back soon and then I'll have to pay the humiliation of facing him after I scared him off. I'm just gonna cry myself to sleep and hope he returns while I'm sleeping.''

I've humiliated her. Oh my poor, poor Bella. It's me who is going to be humiliated when I return. I don't think I can wait till your slumbering for me to return. That would be cowardly of me. I've already ran like a coward.

''Oh Bella, I'm sure you didn't scare him off. He scared himself off. Look I'll see you tomorrow and I'll have a plan,''

''A Plan?''

A plan? Please no plans. Enough damage has been done.

''Just trust me Bella. See you tomorrow,''

''Bye Alice. And thanks for making me feel better even if it's just by a little.''

I've gotta fix this. I need to talk to her and tell her that none of this is her fault. I should have talked to her about this in the first place instead of trying to handle it on my own.

I walked back to the tent at a human pace. When I entered I noticed that all candles had been extinguished except for the ones on a stand near the bed.

Bella has curled up on the bed, lying on her left side and hugging a pillow. She was pretending to be asleep.

I approached the bed and sat down slowly. I began rubbing slow circles on her back to try and comfort her. She just laid there still pretending to sleep.

''Bella?''

I laid down behind her and pulled her body close to me, her back up against my chest, and my arms wrapped around her.

''Bella? Please. I'm so sorry,'' I kissed her bare shoulder and she began to cry again.

"It's fine Edward. Really," she sniffled and scooted slightly out of my embrace.

"No it's not. I promised I would try, and we should have talked about this in more detail. I should have explained..."

She sat up abruptly and cut me off before I could finish. "Explain what Edward? You promised! I don't know what you called that, but it certainly was not an attempt at..." She stopped and sighed heavily before continuing in a softer tone. "Look, I'm really tired. I don't wanna ruin what we had today by arguing. Please, just let me rest and we'll talk in the morning." She laid back down, this time facing up and staring off into the twinkling lights of the ceiling while trying to hold her tears at bay.

I needed to approach this carefully and I needed to do it now. I couldn't let her drift off to sleep on our wedding night thinking that I didn't want her.

"Bella please. I should have explained this to you before, but it's not what you think. It's actually kind of embarrassing, which is why I didn't bring it up before,"

"Oh this should be interesting. Fine Edward, continue."

"Thank You. I know we've talked about how I'm afraid I could hurt you. How easily you could break in my arms. How my nature could take over and I may not be able to control it."

She turned her head to look at me and rolled her eyes. "Where are you going with this? You've said it yourself that my blood is no longer as difficult for you to handle as what it used to be. As for you hurting me, don't you think you would have already if it was possible? Please stop with the same old tired excuses. Just do me a favor and spare me okay? I know you love me, and I know that we can't bare to be apart from one another. But I have a feeling that it's a little different for me that it is for you. You've spent so many years living under a roof with other couples, lonely and yearning for the same companionship. You isolate yourselves from other so you don't have to endure their thoughts invading your mind. With me that's not necessary. I give you peace of mind and fill you void of loneliness. Why wouldn't you want to hold onto some thing like that? I believe that we're soul mates Edward. I wouldn't have agreed to marry you if I truly didn't believe it. But I also believe that people don't always find their soul mates in the form of a significant other or spouse. A soul mate can be a best friend, or someone else you stumble upon during you life who you connect with, who is the only one who gets you, who you can't imagine going through life without. Hell people have claimed to find their soul mates in their pets. I just would have approached our relationship differently if I would have realized it before, that our relationship will always be more on a PG level between us. I don't want you to do anything your not comfortable with. So let's just be more honest from now on about our relationship and you won't have to pretend to want me in a more intimate way than what we already have. I'm a big girl Edward. I can take the truth. Maybe in time, once I'm changed, and I've become more beautiful, more like you, you will see me differently. We may have the potential someday to be more like a real married couple in all ways marriage entails. I can wait to see what time has in store for us."

My God! Has she gone mad? There's now way she could truly believe such nonsense coming from her mouth.

"How could you thinks that Bella? You actually think your some kind of pet to me?" I practically growled at her. "I've told you before. I may be a vampire but I am still a man. I want you. Believe me I do. I just don't trust myself enough to have you. Not while your human. Once you're changed you'll understand. You'll know what I mean when I say how breakable you are. You'll understand when I say I'm afraid that my nature will take over me and I'll lose myself and hurt you without meaning too. You're so precious to me. You have no Idea."

She blew out a puff of air and sat up to face me. ''Maybe I'm tired of being treated like a precious something" She snarled back at me. "I'm not as fragile or breakable as you think. I get it. Really I do. You're impossibly strong. You can snap me like a twig if you wanted. But you forget that if I were as breakable as you treat me, than I'd get injured much worse in my moments of clumsiness when I have one of my many trips, stumbles, or falls. I have survived attacks against James and Victoria. I have survived jumping off a cliff and ridding motorcycles and other various stupid stunts in an attempt feel something when I was numb during a dark part of our lives. I've rescued you from the Volturi and helped distract Victoria so you could kill her. Now that I come to think of it, I am more of an equal to you than I have ever given myself credit for. I want and need to feel that from you. I'm tired of being put on your pedestal because you're afraid to hurt me. I'm not a collector's item to be shelved. Don't treat me like one. How can I go forward with my transformation knowing that you could be like this with me for the rest of our existence together? You say you'll be different with me once I'm changed but how do I know that for sure? I can't go into this forever with you knowing that this is the way it will be. I need to know now while I'm still human that you can treat me the way I need you to, and to start trusting yourself more, the way that I trust you. Stop doubting yourself. If you're truly being honest with me, and you say you want me in all ways as much as I want you, than prove it. If not, than I'll stay human Edward. You'll win and you will get your way in leaving me human, just as you've always wanted. I will go through my human life, and have my human experiences that you chose to push upon me even though I don't want them. I'll live my life with you as your human pet of a bride!"

Oh this is getting us nowhere. I have seriously pissed her off, and I could have sworn I saw steam coming out of her ears on that last statement she made.

"You know what Bella? Your right. I don't give you enough credit as to how strong you really are. Perhaps it's something I should point out to you more often. It's why I see you as my equal, and I'm glad you're finally seeing it now. But that still does not put us as equal on physical strengthen. I'm terrified Bella. I'm terrified of losing you, and I'm terrified of losing it while trying to make love to you because I can't handle myself when I smell the sweet, delicious aroma of your arousal." I can't believe I just said that. And from the look on Bella's face, neither can she. I didn't want to tell her about it like this. I didn't want to embarrass her. But now I have, and now she knows.

"My arousal? Oh my god Edward," she buried her face in her hands. "Is that what you were getting at when we were talking under the gazebo?"

"Bella please. I didn't mean to be so blunt about it, but yes. When we get to doing things, things that you like to refer to as practice, I can smell how excited you get."

She looked up at me with a pained look in her face. "So it turns you off,"

"No Bella. That's the problem. It turns me on. You have no idea how much it turns me on. I want it almost as much as I want your blood. I want to taste it. I want to taste you. It makes me want to consume you in ways that no gentleman should every reveal to a lady. If you only knew the dirty, dirty things that go through my mind when I smell how wet I make you. I'm afraid that I won't be able to control myself. I'll lose myself completely in you, and become to rough or..."

"Or what Edward?" she whimpered. And not only did she whimper, but I could smell her getting slightly excited as well. This scares the hell out of me, but it's turning her on?

"Or break you while trying to bury myself deep inside of you. I may have not experience it before, but I've seen it in the mind of my family. I try not to pry during their times of intimacy, but sometimes it just slips, and I've seen how consumed and lost they become with each other. You don't really think all of Jasper's bite wounds are from his past? Alice is a biter. What If I'm a biter? I'm scared to find out and hurt or break you, or even worse kill you."

"You want me in this way? As much as you want my blood? Oh Edward. Why didn't you tell me this before?" she whispered.

"Because I'm embarrassed Bella. I tried to tell you when we were sitting under the gazebo together. But then Alice came along and whisked you away. I afraid that I may not be able to control myself. Ashamed of the dirty thoughts that …."

"I thought that you were trying to talk dirty with me. You were making you voice all smooth and seductive. What if I like the ideas of your dirty thoughts? Did you ever consider that? I have them too you know," she interrupted me.

"Yes I do know,"

"How could you possibly. You can't read my mind,"

"No but I have bared witness to some of your wet dreams. Dreams where I can smell how much you want me and you moan my name."

"Now I'm embarrassed," she murmured

"Don't be love. There is nothing more beautiful than to watch rub yourself against me while moaning my name. These are the times when I've allowed myself to indulge in your sweet aroma."

"So if you can indulge in that, why the freak out earlier? We've done more during our practice sessions than what we've done tonight."

"I can allow myself to enjoy it, and I've always allowed you take the initiative during out make out sessions. When I begin to feel enveloped by it and feel I cannot just lay there any longer without scratching the itch, that's usually when I tell you we've gone far enough. But I don't trust myself to take actions and I've never tried. I don't trust my control."

"Wow," she breathed out heavily. "If you've learned to control your blood lust for me, than you can learn to control your …... lust-lust. I don't know what to call it, but we will work through this. You're stronger that what you give yourself credit for. I trust you, so you need to trust yourself. Okay?"

"Okay," I sighed as I pressed my fore head to hers.

"I love you Edward, and we'll get through this. " She murmured against my lips before giving me a quick kiss. "Now I'm still really tired and the human pet needs her rest," she laughed.

"Bella?" I said to her in a warning as to my dislike for her referring to herself as a pet.

"Edward?" she said back in a challenge.

"Goodnight love,"

"Goodnight Edward,"

BPOV

As I laid here trying to fall asleep while playing all of tonight's drama in my head, I began to realize what Alice meant when she said she had a plan. Especially since I had some plans of my own forming in my head. Plans of how to work on making him more comfortable in his control and sexual lust for me, as he had done with his blood lust for me. From tomorrow on out, married life with Edward was going to be interesting. And I planned to test his limits whether he wanted to or not. I was not going to let him break his promise to me or it would forever hang over his conscience for the rest of our existence as his broken promise.

Another A/N

Just wanted to let you all know that I found someone to Beta Ch1 for me. The lovely ladies of Project Team Beta have agreed to give my chapters a once over, and help me out. If all goes well, I'll probably repost it along with any other chaps I get Beta'd up until I catch up with what I've posted. I was going to wait till this one got Beta'd as well, but I didn't wanna keep you guys waiting.

I'm currently writing ch4 and have an outline for up to ch8. I'm sure I'll add to it as I get ideas. If anyone has any ideas they'd like to see in this story, I'm up for suggestions. I write this for you as much as I do for me.

Thanks

Hunybmom