A/N: Three of three in the unrelated reto-TV series sequence.

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Take 34: Napoleon's battle plan

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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"This is great."

"I told ya!"

"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."

"Yes, well, let's not dwell."

"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"

"Close enough."

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"So what else do you have planned for this extended weekend, Sir?"

"I don't know. I hadn't thought about it much. That's one of the good things about this cabin. Thinking is banned. Understood?"

"I'll do my best, Sir."

"Carter, you can't fool me. What are you thinking about? I can hear you thinking from here."

"Hmm? Oh, I'm just thinking about my plan for the weekend."

"Your plan?"

"It's a lot like Napoleon's battle plan, and from the sounds of it, yours too."

"I just said I don't have a plan."

"Exactly. Napoleon's plan had two steps. First you show up, then you see what happens."

"Ah. Good plan. Although, come to think of it, it didn't work out too well for Napoleon."

"We could be sure we avoid Russia."

"That's always the best policy. With beaming technology we could get out faster nowadays. However you could still be exiled to some far away, isolated place like Atlantis."

"Napoleon did return from Elba."

"That did not work out too well, either, Carter. One word: Waterloo."

"You're right. Also, the Napoleon and Josephine romance did not turn out so well. I think we need a new plan."

"You always think of something. So in this case, I'm lifting the thinking ban for purposes of devising a better plan."

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A/N: If you do a search for "Napoleon's Battle Plan", you discover the show is "Sports Night". That was the title of episode 1.22 in which Dana (the career-driven lead, like Sam) gets engaged to the guy the audience doesn't like (i.e. the Pete-like character, except worse) and then later breaks up with him when she finds out he was cheating on her. The "High Road" reference from my chapter 33 is also inspired by this episode because Casey (i.e. Jack) takes the high road about the relationship. The "Statue of Limitations" reference from my chapter 32 is from episode 2.1, when Casey is incorrectly told by Danny (i.e. Daniel. Wow, what a stretch) that the statute of limitations for when he can pursue Dana is ninety days, not sixty. Sports Night was a great show that unfortunately lasted only two seasons.