XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Take 37: Black widow

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"This is great."

"I told ya!"

"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."

"Yes, well, let's not dwell."

"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"

"Close enough."

XXXXX

"Sir, I'm worried about something. We have to figure it out before this goes any further."

"What is it, Carter?"

"My curse."

"Your curse?"

"You know, my black widow curse."

"Like usual, I have no idea what you are talking about."

"You never heard about the curse? I thought everyone at the SGC did. It must be because you were suspect for a while."

"I still don't know what you are talking about. Of what is everyone accusing me?"

"It's not you. It's my curse."

"What exactly is this curse?"

"It's a black widow curse. Everyone who is interested in me...romantically...dies."

"That's not really the case."

"Jonas Hanson: gate iris. Martouf: double zatted by me. Lantash: dead. Fifth: killed by my replicator duplicate. Orlin: ascended. Narim: planet destroyed. Joe Faxon asked me on a date before he died."

"Orlin could descend if he wanted."

"If that happens, I'm sure he would end up really dead this time."

"Reynard is alive."

"You knew about that? You know it was not reciprocated. And he's in prison."

"Folgers and McKay-tee are still alive. Although I guess they are likely to kill themselves without assistance from this so-called curse."

"Thanks for that. I knew you'd believe it."

"Barrett is still alive."

"Barrett doesn't-"

"Sam, you know he does. Nothing's happened to your ex, either, right?"

"Not that I know of. I've been reading the CS Gazette and watching the local news because I'm worried he's going to be reported dead. I couldn't marry him, but that doesn't mean he deserves to die because of me."

"After what he did at the stake-out, maybe he does have a death wish."

"Sir!"

"Sorry. You know maybe the problem is those guys weren't the right guy."

"Two alternate reality versions of you are dead."

"That was alternate Teal'c fault. Now that he has hair, I have nothing to worry about. Wait...did you just imply that I'm the right guy?"

"I might have."

"That's...well...I...ok. I just have to say...sweet!"

"But I'm not safe."

"I think we need a plan, Sam."

"A plan?"

"First, we need to keep an eye on Teal'c. As long as he isn't brainwashed, I'm safe. Second, no more aliens for you. That's the surest way to get them killed. Third, no off-world empire for me. Can't have me going crazy. I think Joe was just a coincidence, so we don't need to counter that. You hadn't started anything anyway."

"And when something happens to Pete?"

"We'll adjust the plan."

"You really want to do this, Jack?"

"Of course I do, Sam. You're worth it."