Disclaimer: I claim none of the twilight charters.

Shout out to my beta, blazing, she cleans this up nicely.

This chapter is a little sad please don't be too harsh.

Chapter 32

BPOV

"Bella…Bella…Bella please wake up." I am woken up, to a whisper, from a very good dream, but I am in Edward's arms so that's a small comfort. As I get my senses, I see Amanda standing there watching me, almost nose to nose with me. "Bella, I'm hungry and I don't know where anything is, will you help me please?"

"Yeah sweetheart, give me a second to untangle from you dad." I whisper back. I gently pull Edward's arm from around me and roll to the floor on my hands and knees. I peek up to see if he is awake, thankfully he is still asleep. I point to the kitchen and motion for Amanda to go so we don't wake her father and get up aching for coffee.

We walk into the kitchen together and I look down at her to ask, "What do you want for breakfast? I think, I cook pretty well."

"I like French toast and bacon do you have that?"

"I can whip it up in a jiff, wanna help?"

"Can we turn on the music?"

"No, I'm sorry, sweetheart, your daddy is sleeping." I shake my head.

"Oh yeah, okay. Well what do we need to do?"

"Get out the bacon and eggs from the right side of the fridge and put them on the counter. Then get a bowl from those cupboards right there." I point to the right cupboard and she rushes to get what I say as I get the other stuff.

We mix everything by hand so we don't wake Edward and talk quietly about whatever she wants.

She shocks me by asking "Bella, can me and my dad live with you?" I know like father like daughter.

I pause my mixing. "Um… well, that's a little complicated."

"Why, he loves you and you love him… right?"

"Yes sweetheart. But there is a difference between loving someone, and being in love with someone."

"Are you in love with my dad?" she imitates my voice when she says 'in love'.

"I don't know."

"How do you know when you are in love?"

"Well it's hard to explain." She waits as I start mixing again. I take a deep breath and try to put my thoughts together. "When you are in love…you just know. Your tummy tells you, your heart screams at you. That person is all you want and no matter what, you will do everything you can to be with them."

"Daddy is like that with you." She whispers smiling.

I drop my whisk. "Huh?" How in the world does she know?

"Yeah, when he comes to see you and I want to come, and usually he would let me but, when it comes to see you it doesn't matter how much I beg or try my pretty girl act, it don't work. He is so selfish." She shakes her head. "You make him act different too. Even grandma says so."

"I see." I pick up my whisk and start again trying to act nonchalant.

"Seth says you act funny around dad too." Now she looks like she is expecting a response.

"He does, does he?" I reach for the bread but do not look at her.

"Yeah, he thinks you are just scared."

I start dipping the bread in the mixture and ask nonchalantly "Scared, of what?"

"He told me what you said at grandpa's office. He said you are scared of his…" she stops and thinks for a minuet, "bio…log…ical dad." She stumbles through the word. "He says he's not though."

I kneel down to look into her eyes. "That's good because there is no reason to be afraid of him. He doesn't know where I am at and if he ever does find me, I will make sure you and the boys are as safe as possible. I promise I will ever let anything happen to you." I hold her in my arms. I know right then and there I don't care who it is no one will get to this child, I now see the mama bear that Esme is portraying to me.

"Bella, I want to stay with you, forever." Amanda says squeezing tighter.

"Maybe in time, but really I think I need to make your grandmother like me just a little more." I half smile and nod sharply.

"Oh"

"Hey, remember what I said. I will show her. I need you to do me a favor though, don't pester her about it. Okay?" she just nods. "Alright, let's finish this and go wake your dad."

"Dads up." Edward walks in.

EPOV

I wake up and there is no Bella, but there is a delicious scent coming from the kitchen. I get up and walk towards the smell. I stop on the spot when I hear them talking.

"That's good because there is no reason to be afraid of him. He doesn't know where I am at and if he ever did find me, I will make sure you are as safe as possible. I promise I will ever let anything happen to you." Bella says in a protective tone.

Then there is a little silence before Amanda speaks.

"Bella, I want to stay with you, forever." My heart speeds up a little.

"Maybe in time, but really I think I need to make your grandmother like me just a little more." Damn it mom why do you have to do this? She's doubting herself, because of you.

"Oh" Amanda sounds depressed.

"Hey, remember what I said. I will show her." There is the confidence I like. "I need you to do me a favor though, don't pester her about it. Okay…Alright, let's finish this and go wake your dad."

"Dads up." I walk in. I want to know what all was said because Bella looks a little nervous. "Amanda why don't you go on upstairs I will call when the food is done." I don't take my eyes off Bella as I speak to my daughter. Amanda scurries off.

"Bella, would you like to tell me what you talked with her about, and I don't want to hear, talk to her."

"Well how much did you hear?" she turns away to start some beacon.

"Something about how she doesn't need to be afraid of him…who is "him"? And why are you afraid of "him"? Who would you need to protect my daughter from?" I start rushing questions out at her.

"Edward, relax." She holds her hand up without looking at me.

"I will relax when you tell me…" I step closer, "Everything."

She stiffens and takes a deep breath "Seth told her about his father, and I use that term loosely. She said that Seth thought I was scared of him."

"Are you?" I interrupt.

"A little, but that doesn't matter. I don't think Amanda is scared, I think she was just curious and I told her I would be here for her for anything she needs, and she needed an answer. I will not lie to her, Edward."

"Then don't lie to me. Who is it?"

"He is Seth's father."

"A name, Bella." I stay quiet but I am annoyed with the evasive answers.

She sighs and looks at me her eyes are tearing up "James" is all she says.

"Okay, and why are you so afraid of him. You fight like hell for Jake to see the boys. Why wouldn't you let James see his son?"

"Edward, please" She begs closing her eyes.

"No Bella, I'm not letting this go. That's not like you and I want to know, I think I have a right. Amanda and I are in your life now. It's not right my daughter knows more about this guy than I do."

She whips her head to face me and whisper hollers at me. "She knows because my son trusts her enough and he needs that I will not ruin that for him, now just stop pushing. There are things in everyone's past that needs to stay there." Defensively, she turns and works on breakfast more.

"Bella you know all about me, please just tell me." I am practically begging her.

"Edward, its not one of my finer moments, I would prefer not."

"Bella, love, you are perfect in everyway. What ever it is, it can't be that bad."

"Edward…"

"Bella, why is it I can trust you with my life, but you can't do the same with yours?"

"I do trust you with my life; I let you be alone with my boys." She corks her brow at me and smirks. I know they mean more to her than her own life so I would never take it lightly, but I want to know more so I press just a little more.

"Bella…you know what I mean."

"Bella, it's okay. You can tell him." We both whip our heads to the side and see Amanda standing there with an innocent look on her face. "He won't go no where."

Bella looks into my eyes and has a perplexed look on her face. Then she looks back at Amanda and takes a deep breath nodding. Amanda leaves right after Bella nods and Bella turns to finish up the breakfast she has been working on this whole time.

"Edward, James is my first Ex- I was with him all though high school. He was always so nice, he used to say 'yep that's my girl' when his friends would say how nice I am or how he was lucky to have me, or my personal favorite 'one hot piece of eye candy'.

When we got older and lived together, I worked hard for him. I cleaned his house and made sure he had all he needed. Over time things became strained at work and he got crabby at home. He would start telling me I was worthless and he didn't know why he was with me, or that I was crazy because I had an opinion. Then tell me he was sorry and he was wrong, that he needed me and couldn't live without me. I believed him and chalked it up to stress from work.

Then I fell pregnant with Seth. I was happy we would be a family, grant it, it wasn't planned but still. I want a family, the white picket fence all of that. Then he started to work late, and sometimes wouldn't come home until after I was in bed. We became two strangers that lived under the same roof. I began to wonder where the man I thought I loved went. He stopped touching me and eventually stopped acknowledging my existence. I just wandered around waiting for my child to be born. I began to look at it as… I would soon have some human contact."

She stops, putting everything onto plates and calls for Amanda. She gets her situated and we walk back into the kitchen. She gets me coffee and more for herself and motions to go to the living room before glancing at Amanda. Her eyes look so empty right now. I want to hold her but I know if I do she will brake down and that's not what she wants. So I just turn and follow her silent request.

"Okay where was I?"

"Seth's birth"

"Oh, okay. So Seth was born and when we got home. He was all into it at first and it seemed like he was trying. So I tried to be the perfect wife, mother and whatever anyone else needed. I work out while Seth slept to be his "eye candy" again and I baked cooks all the time so there was always something fresh on the bar for him and whoever stopped by. The house was as clean as it could be. I thought if he is trying than I will try harder, there has to be more I can give. I was so worn out by the end of the day I really wondered if I was strong enough to keep it up."

"To everyone, on the outside, we where the 'happy little family'. However I was empty inside. The only thing that brought me any joy was Seth. So the selfish part of me held on to him like a life line. He was my light, as a part of me had this bad feeling that the other shoe was going to drop, I just didn't know when. So I held on to him and pushed through."

Then Seth was probably about three months old when he started hitting walls around me when he got angry. It was usually about something I asked or didn't do for him. I started to feel like everything I was doing was wrong and I should run before my son or I are next to be in his path. I was stopped by the fact that I was his wife, and you don't just give up. I truly believed in the 'for better or for worse' I really thought if I just stuck it out then I would eventually fall in love with him. So I waited, and waited."

"Then he started to break things and he was getting closer and closer to Seth with each thing. I got to the point where I was having a hard time leaving them alone together even if Seth was sleeping. I started to work at home just to help with money, hoping that would calm him down. That was wrong. The more money we had the more he was gone. He took it and would go out with his friends. I started asking him to slow down and that was the first time I was tossed across the room into a T.V. He said he was sorry and that it was stress so I started to feed his ego and tell him how wonderful he was.

We went like this for a couple of months, when he started to smell like perfume when he came home. I questioned him and he told me I needed to leave it alone and I should feel privileged that he was still there. Then, in a blink of an eye, he changed his mind and decided he was going to take Seth and leave me. I would die before I left my son with him. So as he headed for the nursery so did I.

Well, me going against him really pissed him off and he threw me into the fridge. I saw stars for a second then with out thinking I got up and rushed into the nursery. I started to goad him from there. I was thinking 'if I could just get him out of here'. As I predicted he was distracted form Seth and started stalking towards me. As I backed up he would step towards me. So we played this game of cat and mouse until we reached the living room and I stopped."

"I felt like I was about to vomit from nerves but I stood there and looked at him. I told him point blank 'if you want my son you will have to kill me first and don't think that will be easy.' He sneered at me like he thought it was funny. Three days and a whole lot of bruises later, I packed up and I ran. I don't want Seth to grow up thinking that was ok to hurt people, or getting hurt him self."

"I took James to court had him stripped and with all the evidence I had against him he was sunk. I never pressed charges; I didn't want to deal with that. On the day he was stripped he cornered me and told me I would pay for doing this and that he would never stop hunting me. So I put a restraining order on him just to be safe and I haven't heard form him since."

She told me all that with out braking into tears. Bella is truly the strongest woman I know. I think I literally just fell in love with this woman even more. I have no idea what to even say to what she has said. All I do is rest my hand on hers.

"Seth has never been given the details for obvious reasons." She gives me a pointed look as if to say keep your trap shut buddy.

"Bella, I hope you realize, now that none of that is true." I plead with her.

"That is why I hold on so strong to my notion of being in love. Because, I will not settle anymore." She shakes her head slowly.

"Bella I hope you know that I will never do that to you. I will protect you at any cost."

"That's the things Edward, I am a big girl I can take care of myself. I want someone who is as into me as I am them. I want a happily ever after. I know there will be issues but as long as my boys and I are loved and adored and wake up every morning feeling like the first day- I will be happy."

"Bella I want to do that for you." Rosalie's warning, about how she needs to be taken care of and she will fight every step of the way, runs through my head.

"And only time will tell Edward." She says with conviction.

"And I will never stop trying. I will chase you till the end of time." I want to tell her that I love her, right now, but I don't think she would believe it, so I hold it in.

"Let's get you something to eat." she flips a switch just like that and we head to the dining room. Amanda is gone. Bella fixes me a plate and we sit down and enjoy, what is now brunch.

BPOV

Today has been emotional already. I told Edward everything about James. I held all emotion in as I told the story. I quickly changed the subject to distract myself from the lump in my throat, and to distract him from feeling sorry for me. That is the last thing I want from him - pity- I have worked past everything and moved on. James is a distant mistake that I have overcome and learned a hell of a lot from.

I have broken down and picked myself back up and I am planning on spending the rest of the day with a romance novel, hot bath, and a box of Oreos. Every woman needs that. Next weekend I am moving Ali into Jaspers so I will take this weekend to relax.

I am in the tub for about three chapters and one warm up of my bather water, when that damn phone rings. Obviously it is not possible to just take a day off.

I get out and rush to get my phone because is singing 'Be There' by Howie Day.

I slip on the floor and hurt my ankle, yes because I am that damn clumsy.

"Jake, what happened."

"Spidy senses are off a little, Bells, nothing is wrong." Jake laughs. "Leah and I got invited to a friends place and we would like to go, alone. Can you take the boys a day earlier?"

"Yeah, can you bring them I am in a towel and it would be quicker if you brought them."

He is chuckling. "Normally I would have a come back."

"Jake don't be a pig" I laugh.

"See you soon Bella."

"Bye Jake."

My ankle is kinda hurting causing a thought to hit me.

My boyfriend is a doctor, I could really use some "sympathy" maybe I should have him come over tonight. I'm sure Amanda would like to play with the boys. Besides we had a dramatic morning.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

I pout even though he can't see me I hope it helped with the effect though. "No, I hurt my ankle."

"How bad?" he sounds concerned.

Okay ham it up a little but don't scare him. "I don't know," it's hard to keep from laughing because it probably just sprain. "I think it's bad."

"Okay, I'm on my way. I have Mandy."

"No problem." My heart is doing fist pumps. "Umm…bring a change of close you guys can just stay here, you know in case I need your help." My voice cracks and he catches on.

"Uh huh" His voice is no longer concerned but seeping with skepticism. "So, do you need a doctor then?"

"That's why I called you, silly." I giggle no matter how hard I try I suck at acting.

"Uh huh… I'll be there soon, love." I hear him trying not to laugh.

"Okay" I fake a wimpier. Hey I never said I was good at this, I said I wanted to try it.

"Amanda, hurry up. We have to go to Bella's house." He hangs up. Clearly it worked.

Jake shows up with the kids. I hobble to the door because it does hurt but not too bad and I do have an ace wrap on it.

"Shit Bella what did you do now."

"Well see I was trying to take a day off…" I look at him with a smirk on my face.

"Well don't do that. Work hard all the time." He laughs as Leah giggles.

"Ass, I would have been fine had you not called." I banter back.

We walk in as the kids take off to the play room. They are not in there two seconds and they are running back out. "Mama, when was Manda here?" Seth looks at me holding up the case for 'Little Mermaid' expectantly. Its amazing how kids can make two plus two equal four.

"Uhh…earlier." Jake and Leah raise a brow at me and I shrug in response. Seth walks away muttering, there is no sense in telling them they will be here soon.

"Come on Jake." Leah gives me a shit eating grin. Okay, maybe I am that transparent.

They leave and I settle back on the couch with my book and an ice pack on my ankle.

"Where is my patient?" Edward calls coming through the door ten minuets later. He is in scrubs! I squeeze my legs shut because that is fuckin HOT!

"EDWARD!" The boys scream coming into the room. As a result I get a confused look form Edward.

"Jake had a date. Hence the help." I give an innocent smile.

He chuckles "Let me see." He moves the ice pack and the ace wrap. "It looks sprained I think it will be okay with some Tylenol in a few days. I have to go get our bag, I'll be right back."

He leaves and Seth rolls his eyes at me. "What?" I whisper.

"Oh mom, you are so silly. You know he would have come over if you just asked right?" he whispers back.

I stick my tongue out at him playfully. Amanda giggles while nodding in agreement with Seth.

"Mama, I want pizza tonight." Billy states.

"That sounds good to me" Edward says coming in with an overnight bag. I shake my head but give in. you would never believe he is a doctor with the crap he eats sometimes.

The kids rush off to the toy room to play and Edward sits down next to me. While we are flirting like high school kids the door bell rings. Edward goes and answers it. Coming back with the pizzas he calls for the kids. We get them situated in the toy room with pizza, and we return to the couch to continue flirting and talking.

The kids' camp out I the toy room and we let just let be. Edward and I retire to my room and watch T.V cuddled up together, until we fell asleep.

How much longer before they should live together? Leave me a review with your thoughts.