Hey all--next part. It's Clois, but not. So, please don't hate me. I really, really do have a plan here! I took just a slight step back in time here to explain some things from Clark's POV. Just fyi--

You all are just way too wonderful with your feedback. I really can't tell you how much your comments mean and I'm so very glad you're enjoying this as much as I am writing it!! Let me know what you think!!

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Chapter 7

He was exhausted.

Bone-tired. Mind numbed. Heart weary.

Undone.

For two solid months he'd been running, stopping to listen…for her voice, her breathing, her heartbeat…then moving on when dead silence greeted intense longing. The routine was second nature now. He didn't even notice the overall toll it was taking on him.

He didn't care.

There had been the occasional rests. Once a week. To check for developments on her whereabouts, to shower, to eat, to sleep. In that order. His only reason for stopping? Super-powered or not, he'd never find what he was looking for if he ran himself into the ground doing it. Even that mundane truth registered somewhere in the back of his single-focused, determined mind.

He never looked at himself in the mirror. Not once. He knew what he would see.

A hollow shell of a man, barely surviving.

And as for living? He'd ceased doing that the day he walked away from Chloe Sullivan...his one last living connection to Lois Lane.

He'd gone to her, one final try, one last grasp after days of fruitless searching. Hoping beyond hope. When she tearfully told him she'd seen someone tacking Lois' picture on a missing persons' board...

His heart shriveled up.

When he said 'Clark Kent is dead', it was not an exaggeration.

Only one thing kept him going. Only one truth.

Lois Lane would never leave him alone.

Everyone else in the world would. Everyone else had.

But not Lois. Never Lois.

He needed to rest.

The conversation with Bart had zapped every ounce of energy, willpower.

And hope.

And if there was one thing Clark Kent refused to do, it was lose hope. She had to be alive. She had to be reachable. She just had to.

Because if she wasn't, despair and desperation would bury him so deep he'd never claw his way out. Not this time. Not ever again. Everything would fade to black. Nothing good would be left. Nothing pure. Nothing true. And he wouldn't care that they weren't.

Because if Lois Lane was no longer in the world…what would be the point?

Of anything.

He paused on the street corner. Fourth and Main. The phone booth was empty. Not that he really thought he'd find her there. But…there was still the chance…

The chance that somehow time had stopped for her. That she'd be waiting for him all along, fire in her eyes, ready to lay into him for being so late. The chance she'd take one look at him and silently throw herself into his arms. Or roll her eyes, repeatedly poke him in the chest and berate him for not seeing what was right in front of him all this time.

That was definitely one lecture he'd gladly suffer through.

He certainly deserved it.

When exactly had Lois Lane become an integral part of his life? A desperate need? The very beat of his heart? He tried to pinpoint it. A moment, a look, a touch. It was impossible. Since the day he'd met her…been rescued by her…there had been one long string of little nothings and precious somethings that now swirled before him as the biggest, most beautiful everything he'd ever known.

He'd been so blind. To so much. To everything. Allowing tainted dreams to cloud his vision. Letting circumstances dictate his decisions, his actions. Fear had ruled him, making him too weak to reach out to the one and only true light in his life.

To the one person that broke every rule. Reshaped his idea of perfect. And became his home.

Without batting an eye.

Now with her gone…

The heaviness of grief threatened to drown him.

God, how he needed rest.

But his usual stop wouldn't do. Not this time. It would be too distracting. Too comforting. Too much like home.

That's why he went there next. His Fortress. Her Heaven.

He found it invaded by unwanted visitors. The last two people on Earth he wanted to see. He watched silently as Lana and Chloe did a cursory search for him. His hands clenched by his side, his eyes narrowed in disdain. He was only relieved by one thing. They didn't waste any more time on him than was absolutely necessary.

Then, after abusing his place of solitude, they disappeared.

And the Fortress felt…dirty. Tainted. Unwelcoming.

Clark's shoulders dropped in agony as he slipped silently to the crystal floor, weary head dropping into shaking hands. Was there no place on this planet where he was safe? No one that could wrap him in their arms and claim him? No center of his universe? No home?

"Lois…" The strangled, broken cry slipped through his crystal domain. "…please…I don't know…how much longer…" Tears came hot and quick. "It's all so…dark here…without you…"

---

She stared at the picture longingly.

After her lengthy briefing with the Legion, Lois was mercifully left alone. With her thoughts. With her hopes and dreams. With her choice.

For the hardest decision she'd ever made, it was surprisingly easy.

Then again, she'd do anything for Clark. Even sacrifice herself. She knew that now. She fiercely embraced that truth like it was her last hope. Her reason. Her strength.

Probably because it was…

A wedding picture. Theirs. She'd found it in a history book and despite the various signs indicating the illegality of such an act, she instantly tore out the page without an ounce of guilt to haunt her.

My wedding. My picture.

And God, what a picture they made together.

They were dancing on air. Her simple, elegant white gown melted into the black of his tux and disappeared in the circle of his arms. Her body was molded so tightly against his she was like his second skin. Or he was hers. They were so much a part of each other, there was no separation. No beginning. No end.

Just one glowing, solid unit of infinite love.

Her arms languidly wrapped around his neck as she beamed up at him with absolute trust and confidence in his care. She knew he would never let her fall. From the look in his eyes, he knew the same. How could he not? When the only woman strong enough to hold him was forever resting in his arms?

And the way he was looking at her. It was…breathtaking, even in its two dimensional form.

Lois smiled. It wasn't the first time she'd seen that look. No, not by a long shot. There had been hints off and on. Little glances here and there. Heated stares that furtively skittered away from her face the second she'd look up from her work. Or her meal. Or any other mundane thing she was doing at the time.

It had never been so bold, so blatant, as the night of Chloe's wedding.

He'd filled her up with that look. Took her breath away. And started a chain reaction of events that brought her to this moment. To this realization. He'd wanted that kiss as much as she did that night. More than that, he saw her. Wanted her. Not some dream of what could be. Not some past love that never quite measured up.

Just…her.

Even then, that look was only a hint of what she held in her hands.

So full of longing, desire. So sure. So ready and willing to be pulled in and taken under. Joy. Inner peace. And so much, unconditional, overwhelming love.

He couldn't hide it.

Neither could she.

She swallowed hard at the thought of what lay ahead. Unshed tears blurred the image. She angrily blinked them away. She didn't want anything to cloud the now crystal clear vision of her ultimate goal.

She would see that look again. She would do whatever it took. Wait however long. Sacrifice what was needed…

"Lois! Lois come quick!"

Jumping to her feet, Lois stuffed the photo into her jacket and rushed toward the sound of Garth's voice. "What is it?"

"He's there! He's in the Fortress! Hurry! Before it's too late…"

Tbc…