Note: Next chpt. Sorry it's been so long on this and my other stories. Hopefully I'm back in the groove now.

Hope you enjoy even though it's all angsty right now. Would love to hear your thoughts! Thanks much for the feedback and support!!

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Chapter 13

Clark Kent was devastated.

In a way he hadn't been for two months.

There was something about the absence of anything—clues, theories, proof of her demise—that had relentlessly hounded him. Pushed him beyond limits. Drove him into every dark corner, each shadow of the world.

To search for her. To hope. To believe.

But now that a vague 'something' had formed?

What if he was wrong? What if she wasn't in 3009, but in some random moment in time? Past. Future. It would all be the same to him. And now, instead of one world to search, there were multitudes. Each with their own unique set of circumstances, customs, historical context. Where to begin? When? The endlessness of time made the possibility of it utterly…impossible.

And if he was right…if Lois really was in the year 3009…

Wouldn't the Legion have sent her back by now? And if they hadn't, what did that mean? Was she ok? Or had something happened to her during the transfer? Worse yet…did she like their world better then her own? He wouldn't blame her if she did. God knew he hadn't given her any reason to stay grounded here, in his world, by his side.

Questions, questions, questions bombarded him with no relief.

And no answers.

The weight of it all bore down on him, breaking him. The helplessness. The hopelessness. The impossibility of it all. Wave after wave crashed into him, keeping him off balance. Crushing him into desperate listlessness. He'd heard of this before, but he'd never known what it was like.

To drown.

Until now.

For the bitter truth was, even if the answer was as simple as Lois being in the year 3009…

He had no way to reach her.

None.

No magical rings to drop him into a time he'd never known. No direct line to a Legion that had already come to his rescue more than he deserved. Even if he did, there was no guarantee they'd answer. He certainly must have reached some random 'save-the-hero' quota by now.

And speaking of answering…he could count Jor-el out. On that front, his welcome had been worn out a long time ago. Bringing Lana back. Extricating Brainiac from Chloe's mind. Begging him for this life or another. Railing against him till a favor was reluctantly dispensed. Repeatedly disobeying direct orders.

If there was a box in a situation like this, he thought outside of it.

He'd contacted Dr. Hamilton. A piqued interest and the promise to begin searching was the result. But time travel was not the doctor's expertise and after all, what was a promise when time was rapidly slipping away?

Ollie called Zatanna. To no avail. She knew of no spells, past or present…dark or innocuous…that opened portals of time. She would make calls, consult her father's book, but no guarantees were forthcoming. Sensing Clark's growing agitation and desire to be alone, Ollie joined her to help in the search.

No, there was no way.

Even his dreams told him that.

It didn't matter how they started, what the setting…whether fog so thick it swallowed his breath or walls so high they went on forever or a forest full of thorns and grasping tree branches clawing at his skin…they all ended the same.

With Clark jolting upright. Panting for breath. Screaming her name.

And feeling utterly, helplessly alone.

Such was Clark's state of mind when the sound of keys turning in the door catapulted him from the relative comfort of Lois' bed.

--

She closed the door behind her and drew in a deep, rattling breath as tears clouded her eyes and threatened to fall. Valiantly blinking them back, she knew a full out mental break down would be the last thing Lois would want.

When would it all end? The losing. The pain. The utter loneliness of it all.

She'd lost everyone now. Jimmy. Clark. Oliver and his team. And now…Lois.

Officially.

She'd spent the last three hours trying to convince herself the body at the Metropolis Morgue was, in fact, not her cousin. But she couldn't get past the evidence before her eyes. The small birthmark on her hip. The dental records that matched perfectly. Then there was Lois herself.

So still. So lifeless. So cold.

They said she'd been in a car accident in Star City. Why she was there no one knew. She'd been found without identification and was admitted to the hospital as a Jane Doe. For the past two months, she'd been in a coma, hanging in that hazy world between life and death.

Death finally claimed her.

And Chloe Sullivan had to accept that.

On some level, she already had. The endless searching with no results, the memorial service, the sympathies she still received on a daily basis. These all laid the foundation. Lois' body just confirmed what her reluctant heart had already known.

Her cousin was gone. And there was nothing she could do to bring her back.

A tear made its way down Chloe's face. She absently wiped it away and looked around her. Lois' apartment. She'd hadn't lived there long, but she'd seemed happy here. Comfortable. At home.

Not that Chloe knew from first hand experience.

Guilt settled like a gentle cloak around her then hammered its way into her bones. She'd only been here once since Lois chose the place. The past several months had been full of everything. Lies, danger, sacrifices. And glaring absent of one thing. Good old fashioned cous time.

And now, that time would never come again.

Oh, what she had lost. What she had squandered.

Now, it was Chloe's job to pack up a life. Every hint that Lois Lane had existed was to be placed in boxes and discarded like yesterday's news. Just like Jimmy's had been. Like Davis'…

She immediately turned her thoughts from that dangerous path and focused on the task at hand. Dropping the boxes into a pile on the floor, she reached for the first thing she saw.

A picture frame.

Lois and Clark with the Daily Planet sign behind them. Clark was holding a newspaper in front of him, pointing to a headline he'd obviously masterminded. He was grinning from ear to ear. At Lois. Eyes sparkling. With a hint of smugness. Taunting her.

And Lois? Hands on her hips, she was rolling her eyes at him in her characteristically Lois way. But that smile of hers. It held a hint of pride. A hint of teasing adoration and begrudging respect that only one Clark Kent could weasel out of her.

Chloe's chest rose and fell with a pang of regret. A twinge of jealousy. The Dynamic Duo. What a team. So much wasted potential. So much wasted time. She shook her head and started to put the frame in the box.

A gust of wind.

The photo disappeared from her hand.

Blinking rapidly, Chloe spun around in a full circle, unable to see anything. Hope jump started her heart. She would know that gust of wind anywhere. "Clark? Clark where are you?"

"What are you doing here?"

Her head snapped in the direction of his voice. So cold. So distant. Swallowed in the darkness of the bedroom doorway.

"What are you?" She countered.

"It's Lois' home. Where else would I be?" He said it so simply. As if that were the only thing in the world that made sense. His voice lowered dangerously sending a shiver slipping down her spine. "I'll ask again. What are you doing here?"

Squinting into the shadows she slowly approached him. It had been months since she'd seen him. Talked to him. Their last conversation still haunted her. After searching for him, not finding him, here he was. Out of the blue. In the shadows.

She had no idea what she was dealing with. And until she did…

"I uh…I got a call from the landlord's wife. She said the rent was coming due and told me I needed to get Lois' things packed."

"You are not moving her out."

"What?"

"You're not touching her things."

"But Clark…"

"And you're lying to me." A pause. A conclusion. "Again."

The accusation hit her like a jolt. She scrambled for something, anything to say. "What? But, Clark…"

"I've already paid the rent to the landlord. Just like I've done the past two months." He answered her unspoken question.

"Clark, why would you do that?"

"Why would you lie to me?"

"Clark, I…"

"You know what? Don't even try to explain. Just leave."

She heard movement and knew she was about to lose him. She couldn't do that. Not after everything else. No, Clark Kent was the one person in her life she would fight to the death for.

And had.

"Clark, I can't do that." Her voice cracked with emotion. "Do you have any idea just how long we've been looking for you? How many places we've gone? I'm worried about you." If she wasn't enough to pull him back into her world, perhaps she would be. Chloe brandished her trump card. "And I'm not the only one, Clark. Lana still loves…"

"Don't say her name! Not here."

The reaction was explosive. His actions swift. A whirlwind catapulted him from the shadows to the source as if he were trying to reach the words and erase them before they had a chance to settle in. Before the name took root. Before it tainted a sacred place.

And Chloe Sullivan stood face to face with a stranger.

She'd never felt so cold in her life. Or so scared. She couldn't even recognize her best friend in the face of the man standing in front of her. In all the different incarnations of Clark Kent she'd seen through the years, this was one was altogether different.

Twisted with disgust and grief, all the gentle boyish features had melted away leaving raw, hard lines. The power emanating from him was threatening. Dangerous. Coiled and ready to strike. And at the same time, it was clear he'd taken a beating. Oh, his body was still as solid as ever, but exhaustion clung to him now like a wet t-shirt. Exposing every ripple in his over-taxed spirit.

Tight and unbending, his lips offered nothing. His eyes even less. Two piercing blue-green balls of devastating lifelessness. And yet they burned with an intensity Chloe had never seen.

Chloe gasped. "Clark? My God, what has happened to you?"

With a derisive scoff, Clark spun on his heels and tossed a command over his shoulder. "Leave, Chloe."

He was about to disappear again. To shut her out. She rushed forward, clinging to him like a child to an abandoning father.

"No! No, I'm not going to leave! Not until you tell me what's going on." She tried to spin him around. His strength was much greater than hers. So she rushed him, rounded him, blocked him. "Clark, listen to me. Listen! No one blames you for what happened to Jimmy, ok? It wasn't your fault, Clark. It wasn't! We were all faced with an impossible situation. We did the best we could do!"

"The best we…" Clark stopped himself just short of engaging. Then he exploded. "Lies! Lies and manipulations and hiding the truth! Stabbing each other in the back! And where did it get us? People we love are dead. People we can't live without are lost. We're lost." A ragged breath. A broken voice. "I'm…lost." His lips began to quiver and his eyes brightened with unexpected wetness. "If that's the best we can do…then God help us all."

He tried to sidestep her. She blocked his way.

"Clark, please. Please talk to me. We don't have to be alone, Clark. I can help you get through this. We can do this together. Please, just talk to me. Where have you been? What have you been doing? And why are holding on to this place like…"

"What?!" Clark shook her off him like she was nothing more than a ragdoll. His eyes blazed with fury. "Like Lois is going to return?"

"Yes!"

"Because she is!"

"Oh, Clark…" Chloe shrank from the sheer force of his belief. Tears clouded her vision. "Clark…Lois isn't coming back."

"You say that so easily." A snarled accusation.

"Easily?" Chloe bristled. Grief and anger surged through her. "Nothing about the past three hours has been easy, Clark! But you would know that. You would know if you'd been there for me! If you'd stopped this…"

"This what?" He shot back.

"I don't know. You tell me." Broken by the relentless waves of harsh dismissal, Chloe shook her head as another tear fell. This time, for the loss of her best friend. "Clark, what are you doing to yourself?"

"It's not your concern. Now leave."

Lois' photo pressed tightly to his heart, Clark brushed past her. Back to the darkness. Back to the haven of Lois' room. The door slammed, effectively ending their reunion.

Chloe stood a moment in indecision.

She felt like she'd been struck by lightning. Too shocked too move. Too restless to stand still. Her gaze flittered around the room. Trying to make sense of this. Of anything.

That's when she saw it. A large map spread out on the table. Tiny flags were taped to different locations around the world. Words were attached to the flags. Words that, separately, meant very little. But taken together as a whole…

It was Lois' life.

Every place she'd ever lived. Every trip she'd ever taken. Every dream spot she'd ever mentioned wanting to visit.

Suddenly, Chloe knew exactly what Clark Kent had been doing for the past two months.

Next to the map was a notepad. At the top, the words "Things to Do".

And then a list.

Take her to Monster Truck rally

Get the bracelet

Memorize the lyrics to at least one Whitesnake song

Take her to a concert

Fly with her

Show her heaven

Ask the girl out (after all, that's what a boy does...)

Even more, Chloe understood why.

Her eyes filled with tears. Her heart ripped in two. Everything in her begged to not be the one. To not have the burden of telling him. To not look into his eyes when he finally embraced the awful truth.

Lois Lane was dead.

Her cousin. His love.

And yet, who else could it be?

She wiped her eyes, squared her shoulders, turned to Lois' room…

And prepared to break Clark Kent's heart.

All over again.

Tbc…