Chapter II
Smaug was dead.
They had done it. Killed the dragon that had resided in the halls of Kíli's ancestors for such a long time. Kíli felt himself unable to exactly recollect the events of the hours past, but he knew one thing for certain—Smaug was dead.
As he dragged his exhausted body through what remained of Lake-town, he saw others going through the debris, looking for things that might still be salvaged and—Kíli winced inwardly at the thought—people that had been lost during the chaos that Smaug had brought over the town.
His leg throbbed painfully, the wound inflicted by the orc's arrow not healing as it should be because he had put too much strain on it too quickly. But he had been lucky—despite being slowed down by his leg, he had managed to avoid any further injuries apart from bruises, scratches, and some minor burns. The same could be said of Fíli and the other two dwarves. Kíli knew that he should feel blessed that all of them got out of this mess relatively unharmed.
And yet, there was only one thing—or rather one person—on his mind as he limped through partly destroyed alleys, trying to see properly through the smoke caused by the fires that had yet to die down completely.
Tauriel, where are you?
They had all gotten separated in their attempt to distract the mighty dragon and to lure him into a position where Bard could target him with his one black arrow. After realizing that Smaug was on his way to destroy the town, they had had to act quickly and there had not been any time to come up with an elaborate plan. The arrival of Bard's son and his announcement that his father was on his way to the tower from which he would fire the arrow at the dragon had quickly decided their course of action.
No time to exchange anything except one last look with Tauriel, the elf whose smile made his heart sing, as she got ready to dart off into the direction she had been assigned.
Be safe…
Grimly, Kíli realized that he had never even properly thanked her for saving him. Three times. Instead he had wasted their time together on sentimental words that he knew could never be followed by actions. All the more reason to find her now—to prove his gratefulness and to honor the tentative friendship that they had formed with each other.
After the battle it had not taken him long to locate Fíli. He and his brother always seemed to find one another blindly, almost as if they gravitated towards each other. Fíli's relief at seeing his younger brother relatively unharmed had been palpable. He had also brought news of the rest of their company, letting Kíli know that they, too, had escaped Smaug's wrath almost unscathed.
The frown on Fíli's face when he noticed that despite the good news Kíli remained restless had not escaped the younger dwarf. But he simply could not help himself.
"And Tauriel? Did you see her, too? Is she with the others?" Kíli had cringed slightly at having to ask his brother this question and thereby reveal that the she-elf was on his mind, even at times like this.
Fíli had sighed, shooting his brother a worried glance. "Kíli, you really shouldn't-"
"Just tell me, alright?" Kíli had interrupted him, embarrassed.
"She had yet to make an appearance when I last saw the others. But who knows, maybe she's already gone off on some business of her own…" Fíli's facial expression had shown pity for his younger brother as well as disapproval of his blatantly obvious infatuation with the elf.
Kíli had shook his head. "She would not simply leave. Not after…"
He had trailed off, blushing as he felt Fíli glance at him with curiosity and simultaneous dread.
"I have to look for her," Kíli had simply stated, hoping his brother would understand and ask no further questions. He would not have known how to answer them.
Fíli had nodded grimly, once again accepting that once Kíli had set his mind on something, there was no way to hold him back. "If you haven't returned within an hour, I'll come looking for you, little brother. You still need to rest. We must leave for Erebor as soon as possible."
Kíli's shoulders had slumped at the thought of having to depart so soon. Of having to say goodbye. Without another word he had turned around and limped off into the direction his gut was telling him to go.
That had been at least half an hour ago. If he did not find Tauriel soon, there would be no choice but to head back to the others. They simply had to try and reach Thorin and the others to help, that was their destiny. His individual desires could not be his top priority right now.
Peering into an alley that was filled with particularly dense smoke, Kíli finally thought that he could make out a tall, slender figure staggering around in the polluted air. Without hesitation he darted into the alley, using the sleeve of his shirt as protection against the stifling air. Immediately his eyes started burning from the smoke and filled up with tears.
It really was Tauriel he had seen, he realized as he drew closer. He was genuinely shocked when he saw that she was almost out of her mind with panic, turning into every direction, but apparently unable to decide where to go. He had not thought it possible for an elf to reach a heightened state of panic, not even to speak of losing their way.
Quickly he rushed to her side, gently taking hold of her elbow with one hand, while using his other hand to press against her lower back, guiding her into the direction he had come from. He did not dare to speak, for fear of having to breathe in more of that poisonous air than he already had.
Seconds felt like hours, but finally they emerged from the alley into air that was, comparatively, clear, both of them coughing and staggering blindly by the time. Kíli tried his best to pull his senses together and guided Tauriel towards the wall of a nearby building that was still relatively intact. Tauriel leaned against the wall gratefully and immediately slid down onto the floor, keeping her legs propped up in front of her.
Kíli fell to his knees before her, bringing his face level with hers. He cupped her face with both hands, checking worriedly for further damage aside from the obvious. Her face was smeared with soot, but then he guessed that so was his. She had a bruise on her temple, but it did not look too serious. What worried Kíli most were Tauriel's ragged gasps for air, every breath making a rasping sound in her throat. Also, her eyes were unfocused and had not yet lost their panicked expression.
"Tauriel," he exclaimed, trying to get her to focus. "Look at me!" But it seemed that her eyes were seeing something entirely else, her pupils rapidly darting from one side to the other.
"Tauriel," Kíli spoke again, his voice more gentle, intimate. "It is me, Kíli. The one whose ass you always need to save, remember? Come back to me. Who knows what trouble I might get myself into next?"
Tauriel's breathing calmed a little, her eyes slowly focusing on his.
"Kíli," she rasped.
"There you are," he smiled, relieved that she had found her way back to him.
She drew in a shuddering breath and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, Kíli could see that she had regained her senses completely now.
He dropped one of his hands that were still pressed to her cheeks, letting his other hand linger for another moment, before removing it, too. He continued to gaze at her intently.
"Do not worry," she said, looking back at him steadily now. "I shall be fine. I just need to rest for a little while."
He nodded, suspecting that her Elven constitution would help her recover from whatever had happened to her among the smoke and flames quickly. For a few minutes they remained silent, Tauriel taking long and increasingly steady breaths, Kíli still kneeling in front of her, waiting patiently.
"I got… lost," Tauriel spoke up suddenly. "The dragon was chasing me down that alley and I tried to hide in one of the buildings. He must have hit the top of the building with his tail. Suddenly there was wood and stone raining down from the ceiling. Something hit me on the head and I lost consciousness. When I woke up—" A shudder ran through her body. "When I woke up and stumbled outside, there was only smoke. I could not hear or see a single thing. I thought maybe I was the only one still alive."
Kíli took one of her hands in his, using his thumb to draw circles on its back to comfort her. She smiled at him. "And then there you were. This time it was your turn to save me."
"Nah," he looked away, touched. "That was nothing compared to what you did for me."
Her smile broadened at his discomfort, but she chose not to tease him about it. "The only thing that matters is that we are both still here, is it not?"
He returned her smile and they simply looked at each other for a while, grateful that they had both survived. Then Kíli remembered that this did not mean that either of them would get a happy ending. Tauriel had to be thinking along the same lines, too, because her smile faded and the lightheartedness in her eyes was replaced by a wistful expression.
Kíli felt a tug at his heart when she looked at him like this, and all he wanted was to do was chase her sadness away and make the joy return to her beautiful eyes.
"Oh, bugger it all," he suddenly growled, shifted forward and captured her lips in a passionate, bruising kiss. At first she flinched in surprise, but then, to his utter astonishment, she kissed him back just as fiercely. Inching closer, he cupped the back of her head in his palm, pressing his body close to hers. She responded by running her hands up and down his back, her fingers digging into his tense muscles.
They broke apart breathlessly, neither of them having fully recovered from the smoke they had been forced to breathe in before. Kili found that he did not quite dare to meet Tauriel's eyes. What had he been thinking! She should be treated with reverence and gentleness, and instead he had simply attacked her like some sort of animal.
Glancing at her, he could see that her eyes were downcast, her cheeks flushed.
"I am so sorry," he groaned, unable to keep his mouth shut any longer. "Forgive me—this was highly inappropriate…"
"I'm not," she whispered, interrupting him. He stared at her in shock.
"I'm not sorry," she said more steadily.
She lifted her eyes to look at him, still breathing heavily, her face flushed and bearing black smudges. To Kili she could not have looked more beautiful. They smiled at each other, shyly.
"I have to return to Mirkwood," she said softly, both of them knowing that there was no sense in denying that whatever they had had together ended here and now. Still, Kili thought he could hear a large chunk of his heart being broken off and crushed by a cruel fist.
He nodded. "I know. We are leaving for Erebor tonight. Smaug is dead, but we fear that this is not yet the end of it all. Will you come with me to Bard's house, to say goodbye to the others? I'm sure they would like to see you again."
Please, do not leave me just yet.
She nodded, smiling, moving to push herself back to her feet. Kili held her back.
"Wait," he said, "there is something I've been wanting to give to you." Rummaging around in his pocket, he produced the stone he carried to remind him of his promise to his mother. He pressed it into her hand and closed her fingers around it, prolonging their touch much longer than strictly necessary. Tauriel opened her mouth in protest.
"No," he quickly shushed her. "I want you to have it. Without you, I would have broken my promise already. Without you I would not still be here. Please, accept it."
She looked at the stone in her hand for a moment, hesitating, then stowed it away in one of her own pockets.
"Thank you, Kili," she said, her voice a thousand times heavier with emotion than you would expect of an elf who has just been given an ordinary rune stone. "I have nothing to give to you in return aside from the promise to think of you, whenever my eyes fall upon your stone."
He smiled, sadly. "That is already so much more than I can ask for."
Slightly leaning onto each other for support, the dwarf and the she-elf struggled back to their feet and set off for Bard's house on the other side of Lake-town, where they both knew they would have to bid each other farewell.