Okay, amazing fans of my writing. Here's the deal. I'm updating some/most/all of the prior chapters of this story. No HUGE changes that I'm aware of right now; just some minor tweaking/editing. I will also be finishing this story! Yes, I'm finally finishing.

What I've decided to do is end this story at a place where it makes sense. Then I will complete my other two stories I'm working on and come back for a SEQUEL. You WILL get a vampire baby in the sequel, I can guarantee it.

Thank you all so much for your patience with me during the updates that have at times taken FOREVER. I appreciate it greatly.

Also I hope that you do take some time to read my other works Emmett's Undoing & Becoming Bella. They are NOTHING like this story because I do like to experiment with my writing. That also means Bella gets to experiment as well. J

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Two: The Fog Clears

I looked at my reflection for a long time. Although I had wiped away the tear streaks and dirt from my face, the girl staring back at me was unrecognizable. I had always been pale, so this was no surprise. The difference in the person that I used to be and the person that I was now was mainly shown through the vacant, puffy eyes that had dark circles underneath them. I had aged. Not in the standard way that an eighteen year old ages, but in a way that someone has aged after they have come home from battle or after they had experienced a life-changing loss.

Sighing, I stepped away from the mirror and opened the door to the hallway. As I made my way slowly to my bedroom, I chuckled at the fact that there would be a different, male vampire waiting for me tonight than the previous year. His brother. He would be waiting for a different reason, though. Out of guilt and pity and obligation.

I quietly reflected on the events that had recently taken place. I had been broken by the love of my life, gotten lost in the woods, been found by my former love's brother, been taken home by my worried father and immediately thrown into a mixture of concerned questions and actions. Charlie had called Billy who had then recruited half the reservation to come looking for me. I didn't admit it aloud, but it was nice to know that so many people cared about me.

Jake had been sitting on my porch, head in his hands when my father carried me up to the house. I had never seen a smile so big grace his face when he saw me. He had rushed forward, almost knocking my father and me to the ground. One of the other doctors from the hospital that my former surrogate father used to work for was also there. He gave me the once-over, confirmed that I would not die and that nothing was broken… nothing that he could see anyway.

After receiving a somewhat clean bill of health, I had been left alone to clean myself up and clear my head. When I entered the bathroom, Charlie and Billy were still downstairs talking. I could hear them; Charlie was explaining to Billy that the Cullen family had moved to California because of a job offer that Carlisle had received. What a joke. They couldn't last five minutes in the sunny atmosphere of California. None of them would want to be near all that chaos either. Although no one could tell by their appearances, they were simple; they belonged here… with me.

When I finally emerged from the bathroom and walked out into the hallway after a shower and change of clothes, I could hear soft snoring coming from Charlie's room. I realized that it was well after two in the morning, and he would need to be leaving for work in less than four hours. I immediately felt guilt rising in the pit of my stomach for worrying him and causing him extra stress. Had I not put Charlie through enough with my little field trip to Phoenix and face-off with the evil vampire James? It was never-ending. I was forever disappointing the people that I loved. It was just another fuck-up to add to my growing list.

I understood now what my former bronze-haired god had meant when he told me that I was no good for him. I only caused people worry and stress and pain. I was no good for anyone. Faces flashed through my mind… Charlie upset when I told him that I didn't want to be stuck in Forks with him, Renee worried when I was in the hospital because of James, Jake near tears sitting on my porch, him fighting against his base instincts while attempting to save my life, and finally his family looking on with pity as I looked up at them from their living room floor with blood dripping from my arm.

Still in a daze, I walked into my bedroom only to meet Jasper's disapproving gaze. He was leaning against my window, waiting for me to enter the room. I was thankful that he wasn't perched in the rocking chair. I have a feeling that he knew whose spot that was, though. Jasper wouldn't do anything to hurt me even more than I already was. He wanted to stay with me and protect me. Shaking his head, he pushed himself away from the wall and walked towards me. In a shocking move, he gently took my hands in his own and slouched so he could look into my eyes. "I told you to stop, Bella. Stop being so upset with yourself and hating yourself. You do not hurt people. Charlie is so elated that you are safe and sound and home with him. I wish I knew how to make you see that."

I ignored Jasper's words and pulled my hands from his grasp. Without saying anything, I crawled underneath the covers in my bed. I was still cold even after the hot shower I had just taken. I lay on my side, facing Jasper. He was now sitting at my desk with the chair turned toward me. I was relived that I didn't need to announce my confusion to him. He knew the questions that I was too afraid to speak; he knew the answers as well.

"The others know that I'm here now. I didn't tell them what happened to you after he left; I'm sure that they all have their own assumptions on that. Alice probably is the most accurate. He doesn't know that I'm with you, though. It's going to stay that way, Bella. He's already out of the country, heading to Europe to visit some of Carlisle's old stomping grounds. He thought it would be far enough away from you and all of us so that he could clear his head."

The words sunk into my skin- registered into my head- and I felt an overwhelming surge or anger and bitterness surface. "His decision seemed to be pretty much made this afternoon, so I don't understand what in the world he would need to clear up." I turned, punching my pillow into submission. I had never felt so outraged before, even toward James when he was trying to kill me. "Whatever! I hope he has a lovely time in Europe while I'm stuck here trying to pick up the pieces of all that he broke and left behind. As if it's even worth it anymore." I threw myself back into the center of my bed, allowing the covers and pillows to surround and encase me.

"Bella, don't say that. Of course it's worth it. You are worth it! You are an amazing person, and the world would be less without you," Jasper told me. He moved slowly across my room and sat on the foot of my bed. I did not have his ability, but I could tell that he was nervous as he placed his hand on top of my blanket and slowly stroked it up and down my leg. He was trying to offer whatever small amount of comfort that he could. It was not long before I felt the familiar calming waves seep into my body. This was wrong. He shouldn't be here helping me, comforting me.

"Jasper, I don't really feel like talking anymore. I'm sorry that I made you stay here for me. You should go back to Alice. Forget you ever met me," I advised the older boy in the room. I almost started crying again when he winced at my words. I didn't want to hurt him, but I couldn't help myself from lashing out at anything and anyone related to my former love. I would never speak his name again.

He cleared his throat before answering. "Alice asked me to stay with you for awhile. Until you feel better, that is. I would like to if you don't mind," he asked permission.

"Do whatever you want, Jasper. It's a free country. Just don't do it as an obligation to your dense brother to make sure that his broken toy is okay." I had never heard myself sound so angry, so hateful. I recognized the voice but not the person behind it. I did not know the person that was speaking right now. I rolled over to face away from Jasper and hugged my pillow close to my body. I didn't close my eyes, because I knew that I would not find sleep tonight. I didn't know if I would find sleep ever again without the company of him. When he had first told me that he watched me sleep, it had briefly bothered me. Now I didn't know what to do without him here with me.

Jasper- of course- felt the loneliness creeping up in me, because he moved himself so that he was lying behind me without actually touching me. He was on top of the blankets, but I still shivered when I felt him next to me. Like the weak masochist that I am, I immediately felt comforted by the familiarity of the cold body next to me.

We both lay there for a few minutes, adjusting to being in the same bed. I am sure that he was also adjusting to my cocktail of emotions. Hurt, anger, doubt, clarity, relief, comfort, anxiety, fear. I had never been on such a tailspin. I knew that I would not survive this break-up- this betrayal- alone. And while I did not care if I survived, I knew that my father would never be the same if I didn't. I made the decision to fight, and I asked the one question that I knew would allow me to do so. "Will you stay until I don't need you anymore?" I whispered in a child-like voice to the person who would soon- unknowingly- become my new lifeline.

"I'll try," Jasper answered, honestly. It was comforting that he would not make a promise to me. Promises meant nothing to me anymore; they were easily broken.