Okay, amazing fans of my writing. Here's the deal. I'm updating some/most/all of the prior chapters of this story. No HUGE changes that I'm aware of right now; just some minor tweaking/editing. I will also be finishing this story! Yes, I'm finally finishing.

What I've decided to do is end this story at a place where it makes sense. Then I will complete my other two stories I'm working on and come back for a SEQUEL. You WILL get a vampire baby in the sequel, I can guarantee it.

Thank you all so much for your patience with me during the updates that have at times taken FOREVER. I appreciate it greatly.

Also I hope that you do take some time to read my other works Emmett's Undoing & Becoming Bella. They are NOTHING like this story because I do like to experiment with my writing. That also means Bella gets to experiment as well. J

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Three: High Strung

I felt a gust of wind come through the window and reach over to where I lay mostly underneath my blanket. Without opening my eyes, I took in my surroundings. I was haphazardly strung across my bed, lying on my stomach. I could feel that my left leg was no longer under the blanket that had basically gathered at my waist. Another restless night, I see. I hadn't had one of those for awhile. As I slowly regained consciousness, I realized that I was alone in my bed. The cold, comforting body had left me. Panic rose into my throat as I quickly sat up and turned toward the window. I was barely able to stop the sob of relief from releasing itself into my bedroom.

"I went for an early hunt this morning," he answered my unspoken question. "I didn't mean to worry you, but it was necessary." He must've felt my confusion, because he continued. "If I'm going to be around you today, I want to make sure that I'm not thirsty. It will make it easier for both of us."

I nodded slowly and went to move on my bed. I immediately winced at the pain I felt in my back and legs from the night before. Instantly Jasper had walked over to my bed where he was now perched on the side and pulled the blanket completely off of me in order to touch my skin. He sent pulses of comfort and strength into my body, trying to make me feel better.

I normally would have blushed at the close contact with someone, but there was nothing intimate about Jasper's touch. He was simply trying to help me through the pain and discomfort. A few minutes went by with neither of us speaking; it felt like an eternity. I started to feel less strain on my body, causing Jasper to stop his administrations. An awkward silence started.

It was then that he noticed our positioning and my lack of clothing. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't naked. I was wearing a pair of short pajama bottoms and a camisole that I had slept in last night. Jasper looked up at me and smirked, feeling my indifference. Like it mattered. He had always thought of me as a sister, plus I was covered up in all the necessary areas. He could see more of me at the beach.

I chuckled softly under my breath. Jasper at the beach. That would be a sight. I tried picturing it in my mind and was surprised at the feeling of admiration and attraction that overcame me. I looked into Jasper's eyes to see that he had already felt what I was feeling. I quickly jumped out of my bed, tripping when my foot got caught in the discarded comforter. I landed with a soft thud on my carpeted floor and glanced up at the vampire stifling laughter on my bed.

"Emmett was right. You are a funny human," he teased me.

I felt a wave of nausea wash over me and had to quickly crawl across the hallway to the bathroom. I think I spent fifteen minutes hugging the porcelain toilet while crying and heaving until my entire body was sore again. After emptying my stomach of my prior weeks' meals, I finally calmed myself enough to sit back against the tub. Once again I allowed the cold to comfort me.

I felt Jasper near me before I noticed him standing in the doorway. And I felt the waves of comfort. I didn't know a lot about Jasper's ability; however, I had always assumed that it would take quite a bit of energy for him to exert so much emotion onto another person. He must be so drained by now, wasting all his energy on trying to make me feel at ease when it simply would not happen.

"Stop, please," I begged him. "Stop trying to fix me, Jazz. I already told you that I can't be fixed. There is no use in you trying; I'll just disappoint you," my confession of fear ended in a sad whisper. I hung my head and allowed the tears fall down my cheeks again.

He came to sit next to me, leaning against the bath tub as well even though it was completely unnecessary. I felt the side of his body up against mine and shuddered. Not from the cold, but from the closeness. I knew that it wouldn't last for long, and I was scared for it to end. I wanted to savor every bit of touch I could get from the Cullens while it was available.

"I don't want to be without you guys, Jasper," I admitted. "I love you all so much; it's not fair." I stopped for a moment to regain my composure. While I was sure that he could understand the words I was saying through my tears, I could at least make myself sound bearable for Jasper's sake. "Since I moved here, I finally feel like I am where I belong. I know that I have Charlie, but your family is the main reason behind that. I may not be like you, but I am a part of your family whether he wants to admit it or not. I'm Alice's best friend, Emmett's little sister, Rosalie's competition, and your responsibility. Carlisle and Esme are as much my parents as my own."

I didn't mention the other person in the family, and Jasper didn't make me. He was my soul mate, and we both knew it. If there was one thing that never needed to be spoken, it was that I belonged to him. He whose name I couldn't speak… and would never speak again.

"You're not just a part of our family, Bella. You hold us together," he stated. I turned my head to look at Jasper who was staring at our reflections in the large mirror above the sink. I almost laughed the difference; he was so beautiful and I was nothing compared to him. "Alice has never been as close to Rosalie as she is to you, and it's healthy for Rosalie to finally have someone she's jealous of to put her in place. Emmett has always felt like he doesn't measure up to us, so it's good for him to see that you admire and need him. And knowing you has finally made me understand the importance of our lifestyle, the importance of living among humans without hurting them. I couldn't deal with knowing I had hurt you in any way, physically or emotionally."

"You're the only one who seems to care," I said with bitterness dripping from my voice. I met Jasper's bright eyes in the mirror as he sighed and shook his head at me.

"You know that's not the truth. He's trying to keep you safe. From our lifestyle, from us."

"I'm safer with him here. You know that. Jasper, what happens if Victoria comes back for me and none of you are here? I'm toast. How would he feel then?!" My voice had risen with my anger. All the comfort waves Jasper had sent me for the last eight hours were faded and my true feelings were starting to surface now. Hurt, confusion, denial, anger. I saw Jasper flinch at the mixture of emotions that were radiating from me. "I'm sorry, but I can't control it anymore."

"I don't expect you to, Bella," he answered me. He reached his hand over to hold mine. We both sat there for a few minutes, looking at each other through the mirror. I was trying to hold my emotions at bay for his benefit. It was the least I could do since he had selflessly come back to help me get through this trying time... this test of my will, my character.

I lay my head on his broad shoulder and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath before speaking. "How will I get through this, Jasper?"

"You'll take one breath at a time, and you'll keep doing that until it doesn't hurt as much. It will always hurt, but in time it will be less severe."

"Jasper, I know that you have seen a lot throughout your years and that you have seen a lot of heartache and felt it as well. This isn't the same. This isn't a simple break-up. This is my entire future… gone. This is me left behind; there's no rising from the ashes for me anymore. I don't have any fight left in me."

"You have more fight than you think," he said with a slight chuckle. "I'm not the only person who believes that you don't give yourself enough credit, Bella. You will get through this; I know that you will. You will fight and you will prosper. You'll be a better person because of it."

"And you'll stay with me. I'm not ready for you to go yet." It was barely a whisper, but I knew that he could hear me. He could hear me speak, he could hear my heart beat, he could even hear my heart stop as I waited for his answer.

"I'll stay, Bella. I'll stay until you're ready for me to leave."

"Thank you," I said as I curled into his side. I bent my knees and threw them over his long legs as I wrapped my arms around his. We sat there on the bathroom floor well into the middle of the afternoon, motionless. I was playing the previous night over in my head, memorizing my love's face and words as he broke my heart. Memorizing the black depths of his eyes as he stomped on everything we had built for the past year.

I couldn't stop it again. The betrayal I felt was building up so quickly in the pit of my stomach. Jasper sat paralyzed with my sudden outburst of feelings. No longer able to control myself and hold anything back, I rose from the ground and let out a loud, high-pitched scream that echoed down my street.

Accompanying my scream was the sound of breaking glass. Before I knew it, Jasper had grabbed me in his arms and was using his body as a shield to the exploding mirror in the bathroom. When the final piece had fallen from the mirror, I looked up into his golden eyes that were showing the same confusion that I'm sure was in my own.

"What just happened, Jasper?" I asked in a frightened voice.

"I think we just experienced how well you truly do fit in with our family, Bella," he answered with a shrug and a smirk.